I totally get it, you’re all excited for your date with him, but then, a couple of hours before, he texts saying something unexpected came up and he can’t make it.
Naturally, you’re furious and want to let him have it!
You really want to stay cool and pretend you’re okay with him canceling, but you simply CAN’T.
Here’s the deal: how you respond to him bailing on is a deciding factor for the future of your relationship. This text will affect his willingness to ever want to see you again.
A relationship coach from the west coast of Canada, Amy North, shares advice about…
How should you respond to him bailing on you
“The message you send will have a huge impact on whether or not he wants to see you again in the future.”
Then she continues with an example where you had plans for a date with your boyfriend and a few hours before, your best friend calls to ask for your help. She’s in the middle of nowhere with her car being broken down.
You have to go and give her a hand but that means you’ll have to cancel your date. Imagine if your boyfriend replies with:
“Not a problem, you’re a good friend. Let’s catch up this weekend when you’re free. Drive safe! :)”
When you get this you’re melting and wishing to spend time with him. But if he replies like:
“Are you kidding me? That’s cool.”
You’ll think he’s a selfish jerk and maybe you’ll never wanna see him again.
The thing about this type of response is that it’s hard to interpret what it means: is he rude or surprised? Did you catch some passive-aggressive vibe in his text?
So make sure when YOU reply to him:
“The text you’re sending is crystal clear and positive.”
After you’re being reasonable and calm, he’ll want to see you again and even feel bad for canceling your date.
No matter how you feel about him being inconsiderate, you must avoid being outraged or passive-aggressive. Take some time, calm down, and text him back with care and consideration.
“Compose a nice text message and let him know it’s fine that he can’t make it tonight.”
However hard it may be as you’re feeling let down and disappointed, this is very important.
The trick is to show him:
So if he’s unable to meet you, it is not a big deal for you. You have other things to do.
Your reaction, also, shows something else: you’re a grounded and rational person and you’re flexible when things don’t go as planned.
No one wants to be with a girl who loses her temper quickly.
When you remove the threat of being angry at him for bailing on you, he will be relieved and will want to see you again.
Amy then shares what is…
The exact message you should send him
This text should contain three elements:
So basically, you’re communicating that you’re ok, that you’ll be busy for a couple of days and you send him good wishes. If you’ve been wondering what is the point of the second element here’s her take:
“Even if you have nothing going on over the next few days, it’s crucial that you say otherwise. Giving an impression that your life is fully exciting is important because it’ll make you seem interesting and make him want to be a part of your fun lifestyle.”
That way you’ll not look desperate as you’ve been sitting and waiting for him to show up.
Your cool attitude will make him act fast to avoid the possibility of losing you. He will worry about someone showing up in your life and bedazzling you.
You need to play hard to get, gurl!
Make sure to go out and have fun, so next time you see him, you’ll have a lot to talk about.
She suggests a rule of thumb is to wait at least 48 hours after he cancels.
Your message should look something like this:
“Hey, that’s OK. I understand you’re busy. I have a lot going on these next few days. But if you want to catch up this weekend, I’m available. I hope you have a good night.”
Even when you don’t plan on seeing him ever again be kind and positive. Or if he tends to cancel often make sure to tell him about frustrations you’re going through but keep a calm tone.
In the YouTube video, there are a few other tips and templates for text replies that can be useful for these situations.
Write this down, stay cool, and play this well next time.