Do you know what the worst thing is when you get married? The pressure.
Everyone has some expectations and assumptions you should blindly follow like there’s only one right way of living.
The moment my husband and I said “yes” at the altar, people started nagging us. It was the most annoying thing ever! I think this is a universal experience for all newlyweds. And we all hate it.
Why are people so stuck on one way of doing things? I’ve always wondered about that. Is it because movies always portray this universal experience of getting married and how things should be going? Or because that’s what they expect from us?
Sorry to disappoint you but things aren’t exactly the same as they once were. Also, people are free to live how they want. Imagine that!
Here are some of the most common (and annoying) assumptions people usually have. Starting strong with:
1. We went straight from the altar to our honeymoon!
Actually, we are still far away from our dream vacation! The reality is a bit different, unfortunately, and cruel.
Remember the laws in the USA? No paid vacation…yeah. We spent tons of money on our wedding and we need time to get ourselves together before heading anywhere.
Also, planning a wedding and honeymoon at the same time is quite exhausting! It’s just a lot to do and we already had a couple of pretty chaotic months. So for now on, our honeymoon is still on hold, but we can’t wait to travel!
2. We’re so busy in bed, we don’t even leave the bedroom!
If someone waited until the marriage, then this might be true, but even then people need time to adapt and explore things.
Most of us already had some action going on or we even lived together! Being married didn’t magically change our bedroom routine.
Of course, we have a more serious sense of commitment now but our worlds didn’t turn upside down just because we got a paper saying we’re official!
3. Our home became a tiny human factory!
I don’t know what it is about people asking newlyweds about having kids as soon as they get married. Firstly, it’s an insanely inappropriate and awkward thing to ask, and secondly, that’s not your business!
Some couples may decide they want that double income, no kids life, which is perfectly fine by the way and we shouldn’t judge it! Others may really want babies but can’t have them for some reason and this question can only be hurtful.
And then there are people who want kids but not right away. Whatever the case, please for the love of God, never ask newlyweds if they’re preparing for a new addition to the family.
4. Goodbye city life, we’re moving to the suburbs!
I get why people would assume this, but not everyone hates city life. Newer generations of young people actually love living in a big city where everything is available at the snap of the fingers.
You’re craving pizza at 2 am? No problem, delivery will be there in seconds! You need something quickly from the store? There’s one around the corner! It’s simply more convenient and the big city offers numerous opportunities we want to grab.
However, maybe we’ll appreciate the peace of the suburbs and the big green yard in front of the house when we get older. But for now, we’re staying where we are!
5. We pity the people who still haven’t tied the knot!
I mean we’re feeling pretty good and happy about being married. However, we don’t think we instantly became better than everyone else.
Some people might not be married and living better lives than us. They probably don’t argue about things like who forgot to buy toilet paper this time.
We still respect everyone the same! Thinking we consider ourselves superior just because we tied the knot is really silly and definitely not true!
6. Wife must be rocking her new last name!
Ohh, the good old patriarchy! Yeah, times are definitely different now, aunt Brenda.
Don’t get me wrong. We don’t have anything against women who choose to have their husband’s last name or couples who get a completely new one, but like I said, everyone’s different.
If that’s what you like, then go for it! Some of us really like our last names and want to keep them. Also, this way we avoid so much boring paperwork and the hassle around updating our every personal document.
7. We basically became the same person!
I’ll probably never convince my husband to go to opera with me. He’ll probably never convince me to watch war or sci-fi movies. And guess what? We’re still happily married!
Being married doesn’t mean you suddenly have the same interests and hobbies and throw away your old personality.
I mean sure, we have some things in common, that’s why we got married in the first place but we’re far away from morphing into one person.
8. We’re glued to each other all the time!
Yeah, we definitely come in a package now. When you want to hang out with one of us, you get both, sorry! Please, be for real. This is just silly.
We still have separate lives of our own! Don’t think I can’t go on a brunch with you just because my husband’s out of town. Actually, please call me, I’m bored in the house!
Marriage is all about finding a balance between spending time together and having some time apart. If we were together 24/7 we wouldn’t have a chance to ever miss each other, right?
9. Things are so much different now that we’re married!
Literally days after my wedding, people immediately started asking: ”So, what’s it like?”, expecting me to give them some crazy story about how our lives drastically changed.
When I say that everything’s pretty much the same, I always disappoint them with that answer. I’m not sure what could possibly change, apart from magically finding my husband’s dirty socks everywhere except in the laundry basket.
Oh yeah, we also got a ton of kitchen appliances as wedding gifts and we’re trying to figure out how to use them!
10. Since storks are not coming yet, we’re adopting a pet!
People often assume that there’s simply no way we can live on our own and be happy. If we’re not transforming our home into a tiny human factory, we will get ourselves something a bit easier to keep alive, like a pet!
Okay, I’m not going to lie and say this is probably true! I mean, I don’t have to go through torture for 9 months, pets are always there for cuddles (not cats though) and my husband and I don’t need to argue about who’ll change the diapers this time.
So yeah, we’re definitely getting a pet.
There you have it. A free manual of things you shouldn’t assume about newlyweds or ask them. Let’s avoid awkward moments and leave stereotypical opinions behind us once and for all!