I believe that there are times and situations where a man and a woman can exist in a strictly platonic relationship. One in which neither party has an attraction to the other, nor a desire to move towards a romantic coupling. But that is not the relationship I am talking about. I’m talking about the one where you secretly desire someone, but are too afraid of rejection to make a move on them. That’s the one you can’t be friends with. It doesn’t make sense, so don’t even try. Tell them immediately how you feel and don’t waste any time. Seriously, go ahead and make the move. Do it right now. Before you wuss out.
Don’t worry about rejection, or ruining your friendship, or any of the million other excuses running around in your head, because I promise you, your friendship was ruined the moment you developed those pesky little feelings. That nagging little voice in the back of your head that started to notice something felt missing from your relationship. No matter how hard you try to tune it out, it keeps whispering how perfect you would be together. And maybe it’s right, little voices often are. So find out, because you just can’t be friends with someone you are in love with, if that person does not feel the same way as you do, so, if you have to face rejection, now is the time.
Do it. Risk it. Face it. Deal with it. Yes, it might hurt to find out that they don’t reciprocate your feelings – but not nearly as much or for as long as it will if you are pining away for something that seems to be within your reach… but is not. That’s the thing, if you are certain that this is the person for you and you are the person for them… trust that enough to tell them. You will be right, or you will be wrong, and one of two things will happen: 1) They will feel the same way as you, be overjoyed that you finally confessed, and you will live happily ever after, or 2) They will not feel the same way as you do, and you can stop. Stop pining, stop wishing and, most importantly, stop waiting. The unfortunate thing is no matter how obvious it may seem to you and everyone around you… if that person doesn’t see it, you can’t make them. And trust this even if you don’t trust me: when you actually find your ‘one’, you will not have to convince them that you are amazing together. They will already know.
Please, I implore you to save yourself the time, trouble and heartache of playing it cool, waiting it out, or pretending it doesn’t kill you every time they remind you in some way that you are just a placeholder until their ‘one’ shows up. You deserve to have all of the happiness in the world. You deserve to be somebody’s ‘one’ and you should not have to sacrifice your wants and needs to be something you don’t want to be, to someone who isn’t giving you or ever going to give you the kind of love you want. If you want to be with them, you can’t be the ‘cool chick/dude’ that they bring all of their romantic woes to, and believe you me, you don’t want to! You don’t want to do that to yourself… you’re there dying inside, feigning a smile, while it takes all of your self-control not to scream, “You are sooo stupid, I’m right here… pick me!” If they don’t see that the perfect person for them is you, then you aren’t. Tormenting yourself will not bring you any closer to being ‘the one’ and in the meantime you are wasting valuable time, love and energy on something that may very well be preventing you from finding the love you deserve. Don’t be the placeholder for their ‘one’. Leave that space open for yours.
by Tia Grace