I remember a time when I was 27 and found myself in the middle of marriage fever. It seemed everyone around me had found their life partner. Except for me. I was still putting my pieces together after a very ugly breakup.
I was outraged by the fact everyone else but me had it all figured out. On top of all that, my best friend, Jessica, called to share some exciting news:
– “I got engaged to Jason, he proposed yesterday. We are getting married next summer.”
She met Jason when she moved to the East coast, six months ago. How did they go from meeting to engagement so fast? I was puzzled and couldn’t understand the tremendous excitement about marriage.
Jessica noticed I felt a bit shaken up, and reminded me of my statement made a few years ago, while we were still in high school:
– “I will not get married before I’m 30 and will have no kids before I’m 35.”
It really turned out that way: I got married when I was 31 and gave birth to my first child when I was 35. Like I have written my life path scenario while still a teenager.
I’m still happily married and based on the experiences of my divorced friends and my own, I can give you 10 reasons why you shouldn’t rush into marriage before your 30s. So hear me out!
1. Explore yourself while you’re in your 20s!
People choose to get married at different ages and don’t worry, it’s perfectly fine. Of course you can’t schedule a meeting with The One! It happens when the time is right.
However, please note that before committing to someone you must first meet yourself. So, bear in mind your 20s are the time to explore your true personality, your needs and wants. Allow yourself to find out what’s really important to you. Don’t compare yourself to others.
2. Maturing will improve your communication skills, too!
After years of relationship experience, you’ll be more mature in your expectations. You will stop dreaming about Prince Charming and be ready to embrace a real person to share the good times with.
Also, you’ll know how to express yourself and your emotions. You will know when to say no to certain behaviors and be able to determine if the relationship is worth your efforts.
3. Your self-confidence will skyrocket by your 30s
You’ve already made some achievements in life and they give you a feeling of confidence. You acquired a master’s degree, or got that desired promotion at work, maybe you’ve finally moved to some place other than your hometown.
Now you’re able to look after yourself and have more belief in your abilities. All the past failures and successes became the building elements of your self-image.You are able to be truthful to yourself and other people.
4. In thirty-something you know exactly what you want
Women who tie the knot in their 30s are more likely to stay married because of their better ability to make thoughtful decisions.
Young people tend to make reckless choices and often change their mind later. Some young couples get divorced after a first major fight. My mom would always say I will have better judgment when I get older and advised me to avoid rushed decisions, and it’s really true.
5. Allow yourself to live alone
You know how to be alone and enjoy your own company. People who are self-indulgent will bring no dependency issues into the marriage and will successfully maintain a healthy relationship.
Also, you know how to keep your condo tidy, how to cook a dinner for yourself. You are buying your groceries, paying the bills, etc. After you’ve mastered all of this on your own, doing it as a couple will be a breeze.
6. Now you are able to manage money wisely
It’s been a long time since your mom stopped being your finance manager. Now, you’re the only one responsible for your spending or saving decisions.
Learning to manage money can be hard, but those times are behind you, right? By now, you know how to organize your life and money well.
7. Surviving all the heartbreaks made you really tough
Oh, all those dark nights of the soul… Well guess what, that’s all past now. Whatever happens, you can handle it while still standing.
When you remember your emotional knock-outs you start laughing. Now you know better! Being in your 30s rocks, doesn’t it?
8. Your career has a direction
Already experienced at your job, you know well what to expect, and your duties are pretty clear. Competing and proving yourself times are over. This will leave you with enough energy and time to focus on your family.
You’ve also learned how to be a part of the team and it’s quite a usable skill in marriage or any other relationship.
9. 30s make you feel more authentic and knowledgeable
In our 20’s, we tend to mirror the behavioral patterns of our close friends, fulfill others’ expectations be it family or society, and sometimes lose ourselves along the way. Many of us mostly disconnect from our authentic-selves.
When you’re more mature, you start paying attention to your inner drives, feel free to do what you want and you are not ashamed of your true personality.
10. You’re finally done with one-night-stands
Oh, those days seem so distant. Now you look for deeper and layered bonds with men.
Instead of physical appearances, you value a person on a more holistic level.
So girl, now you have the reasons to let it all age well. Don’t rush things out!