¿Cuánto dura un enamoramiento? Y 10 maneras de superarlo con éxito

El enamoramiento y el amor verdadero son dos términos muy diferentes.

Infatuation (also known as a crush) usually lasts for around four months and it’s nothing but acts of projection and idealization.

When someone develops intense feelings for someone they don’t really know, those feelings differ from romantic love as they’re based on romanticizing someone you don’t know.

You’ve probably read on social media and various websites that a romantic crush generally lasts up to four months.

Si dicho enamoramiento se convierte en una relación duradera después de ese periodo de tiempo, entonces podremos hablar de algo que no sea pura fantasía y que se parezca a una relación sana.

A committed relationship isn’t based on a racing heart, sweaty palms and spending a ridiculous amount of time on a never-ending daydream about your best friend since high-school.

That’s what experts would label a romantic crush.

If you have a crush that so far hasn’t turned into a real-life love story and you’re desperate for it to go away since it clearly isn’t going to become anything real, you’re in the right place.

In everyday life, it’s a perfectly normal occurrence to develop a crush on a person who has caught your eye.

Diablos, el año pasado tuve una experiencia turbulenta con un enamoramiento de locos de la que tardé muchos meses en recuperarme.

I kept waiting for him to realize that I was the right person and to tell me, ”I love you,” but all I got was a cold shoulder and having to Google ways to get over a crush that is ruining your life.

I’m here to help you feel better about your unfortunate situation.

Los enamoramientos forman parte de una experiencia humana sana y todo el mundo los tiene.

La infatuación puede ser a veces un verdadero b****.

It turns your life upside down, makes you develop intense feelings about someone who doesn’t even notice you and ultimately breaks your heart.

Fantasear con personas inalcanzables es algo habitual, por muy adulto que seas.

No one is immune to feelings and emotions but don’t let it ruin your mental health though.

Just because your infatuation doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, it doesn’t mean you need to go down the drain with it.

La vida continúa. Los enamoramientos se marchitan y el amor verdadero siempre acaba encontrando el camino de vuelta a ti.

Here’s a step-by-step guide on getting over an intense crush and keeping your head sane!

Véase también: Cómo saber si le gustas a un chico: ¡12 señales de que le gustas!

¿Cómo superar un enamoramiento intenso?

Here, I’ll provide you with some personal experience that helped me get over a really intense crush that turned my life upside down last year.

Creyendo que podría convertirse en amor romántico, convertí mi propia vida en un infierno fantaseando con un chico que apenas reconocía mi existencia.

A long-term relationship is what everyone aspires to attain but on our journey through life, we’ll encounter crushes and feelings of deep infatuation that will take us for a spin and leave us forever changed.

Así es como caes de pie y pones fin a tu idealización de alguien con quien no tienes futuro.

¿Qué es lo que más le gusta de ellos?

Okay, so it’s clear that this person has caught your eye and you’ve developed intense feelings of infatuation toward them.

But what is it that you actually find so appealing about them? Once you get yourself to look at your idealization from a rational perspective, you’ll see the actual chances of your crush becoming a real-life true love.

When we fantasize about people, we don’t see them for who they really are but for who we picture them to be.

So the connection you’ve created in your head is just that—imaginary.

If you have a crush, chances are it’s unlikely to turn into a real thing because there’s no basis for that relationship to work.

If there was, you’d have done something about it already, don’t you think?

Los enamoramientos románticos tienden a sacar lo mejor de nosotros por muy maduros que seamos.

But after the initial few months, you have to start seeing them for who they really are, which is how you realize that they’re just as flawed as any other human being.

Trátelo como el final de una relación

Obviously, you didn’t actually date but this is one plausible way to get closure without ever having had a healthy relationship with them.

Actúa como si acabaras de terminar una relación duradera con esa persona.

Después de todo hizo pasar una cantidad significativa de tiempo invertido emocionalmente en su enamoramiento romántico.

Así que tómate tu tiempo para superarlo.

¿Cómo suele recuperarse tras una ruptura?

¿Vas de compras, ves comedias románticas, escuchas a Coldplay?

Hagas lo que hagas, hazlo. Llora a moco tendido, habla con tus mejores amigos y sácalo todo.

Take the amount of time you’d normally need for an actual break-up, and heal at your own pace.

Nadie te va a juzgar.

You’re entitled to your emotions and nobody can take that away from you.

Infatuation is a tricky thing, especially if we convince our mind to cooperate into believing that it’s romantic love.

Un consejo: mantente alejado de sus redes sociales.

If you want this crush to end, you don’t need to be reminded of how attractive he is on a daily basis.

Véase también: 3 meses de relación: 12 cambios inevitables (y 7 señales de alarma)

Pon distancia de calidad entre vosotros

You’ll never get over your crush if you keep seeing them everywhere.

Sometimes it can be hard to avoid certain people if you’re in the same social circle or attend the same classes.

Pero lo que puedes hacer es sentarte lo más lejos posible de ellos y optar por no entablar ningún tipo de conversación con ellos.

You can’t tell them where to go or what to do but you can affect where you go and what you do.

Si sabes que frecuentan un determinado bar, cambia de escenario.

Si sabes a qué equipo pertenecen, aléjate de ellos.

Al menos por un tiempo, para que se te pase el enamoramiento. Además, quién sabe.

Maybe if you distance yourself enough, you’ll see your crush turn into just somebody you used to know but don’t care about anymore.

Where there’s a will, there’s a freaking way.

Sin acoso en las redes sociales

I’ve already casually mentioned this but it bears repeating.

En ningún caso puedes acosar a tu pareja en las redes sociales.

Es totalmente contraproducente y hará que te resulte imposible superarlo.

You don’t have to go so far as to delete them from all your social media accounts.

Esconderlos está perfectamente bien.

Oculta también sus historias de Instagram.

That way, you won’t be privy to what they do every day and you’ll be able to go about your day uninterrupted.

Todo está en tus manos.

Your idealization has got you this far and it’s up to you to make it stop and find the right person who’ll actually become part of your life.

El amor romántico es mucho mejor que el puro enamoramiento.

Just imagine how fulfilling it’s going to be when you finally stumble upon a person who’ll reciprocate your feelings and won’t make you feel like your mental health is deteriorating.

El amor verdadero valdrá la pena. Sólo espera.

Véase también: Cómo empezar a salir de nuevo: 15 consejos para volver al juego

No hay actualizaciones sobre su vida

If your crush has lasted for more than a few months, it’s going to be a bit more challenging to get over them so it’s vital that you pay attention to every single step.

¡Y sin saltárselos! Uno de esos pasos es cero actualizaciones en su vida.

Nada de preguntar por ellos a tus amigos comunes.

Don’t ask your best friends to find out whatever they can in secret and then inform you.

Stop wanting to know what’s going on in their life if your end goal is to erase them from yours.

By constantly asking how they are, what they’re doing and who they’re seeing, you’re getting deeper into the intricate web of infatuation, which is precisely what you’ve been trying so hard to avoid.

Quiérete lo suficiente para saber cuándo es suficiente.

They don’t love you, you don’t love them and if you got to know them on a deeper level, you’d probably see that there’s nothing there in the first place.

Así que deja de preocuparte por cómo son ellos y empieza a preocuparte por cómo quieres ser tú.

Sé sincero contigo mismo

Tal vez hiciste un movimiento y te rechazaron.

Maybe you never tried anything and it’s simply been too long and it’s time to move on.

Sea cual sea tu realidad, acéptala y abrázala.

You can deceive everyone around you but you can’t lie to yourself.

If there was ever a chance for your crush to develop into something serious, you’d already have done something about it.

And even if you got rejected, so what? You tried your best and it didn’t work out.

Todo lo que puedes hacer en la vida es ir tras lo que quieres, sabiendo que lo has dado todo.

Eso es todo lo que puede hacer cualquiera.

And now it’s time to admit defeat and turn over a new leaf.

Tu verdadero amor está ahí fuera, en algún lugar, preguntándose lo mismo que tú.

Don’t you want to know what awaits you? Aren’t you the least bit curious to see what else is out there?

El mundo es tuyo.

Dé un salto de fe y explore lo que puede ofrecerle.

Crushes come and go but when real romantic love finds you, it’ll make you feel everything your crush never could and then some.

Véase también: La lista definitiva de objetivos de pareja para las relaciones más felices

Sepa que apestará durante un tiempo

But that’s okay. As long as you’re ready to truly heal, you’re ready to go through the motions.

Ya sabes cómo pueden apestar las rupturas, ¿verdad? Bueno, esto es similar.

You’re mourning over something that never was but could’ve been something real.

Now that you’re counting your losses, it’s important that this horrible feeling doesn’t discourage you from falling in love ever again.

Cada vez que superas algo, te haces un poco más fuerte y estás más preparado para afrontar lo siguiente.

While you’re suffering, remind yourself of all your past heartbreaks and how you got over every single one of them, even though you were sure that you wouldn’t be able to.

En los momentos de gran dolor es cuando vemos nuestra verdadera fuerza.

And right now, you’re not aware of how capable you really are.

In a few weeks you’ll be looking at this with a smile on your face, knowing how foolish it was to think you couldn’t do this.

Puedes hacer cualquier cosa que te propongas y nunca dejes de demostrártelo a ti mismo.

Salir y conocer gente nueva

Bonus points if those people are in no way connected to your crush! I’m not suggesting that you jump right back into a new intense crush.

All I’m saying is that the best way to get over something is by surrounding yourself with good people.

No se olvide nunca de sus viejos amigos, pero trate siempre de conocer caras nuevas.

Nunca se sabe a quién puedes acabar conociendo.

People need people; that’s a fact.

And by giving new faces a chance to prove their worth, you’re opening up your heart and discovering new depths of your ability to love.

¿Y sabes qué más significa?

Less time for you to dwell on your crush! That’s right.

You won’t even realize thi, but once you start mingling and having fun, it’ll just dawn on you that it has been a few straight hours without them entering your mind.

And that’s how you heal and move forward.

Nada de quedarse sentado en casa y darle vueltas a algo que nunca fue, sino levantarse y elegir la vida en lugar de la miseria.

Véase también: ¿Debo bloquear a mi ex? Estas 10 conclusiones te ayudarán a decidirte

Encuentre nuevas aficiones que le satisfagan

For me, it’s the gym.

I can’t even tell you how much it saved my soul and preserved my sanity.

En mis momentos de lucha, recurro al gimnasio.

Me ayuda a desahogarme y a preocuparme por algo sano, a la vez que me proporciona fuerza mental y física.

It’s beyond helpful for dealing with any type of stress and I cannot recommend it enough.

On the other hand, if it’s really not your thing, no worries, there are plenty of amazing hobbies you can choose from that will successfully distract you from real life.

If you’re into sports, join a team! If you love to sing, join a choir! If you’re into artistic things, explore your options there.

Las posibilidades son muchas y están esperando a que las descubras.

Don’t be too lazy to get up off your booty and find your passion.

Once you get going, you won’t be able to stop.

Te hace ser proactivo, te distrae de tus problemas y te ayuda a conocer gente nueva.

Tantas victorias, ¿a qué esperas?

Coquetea hasta conseguir un nuevo interés romántico

Once you’ve taken all the aforementioned steps, you’ll finally be ready to get back into the dating scene and get your flirt on!

Evidentemente, éste es el último de los pasos necesarios para un verdadero cierre que le facilite reencontrarse consigo mismo.

Now that you’ve gained back your confidence and preoccupied yourself with new proactive things, it’s time to give your ego a necessary boost.

Remind yourself that you’re a catch.

Coge a tu mejor amigo y salid con el propósito de ligar descaradamente con cada desconocido buenorro que os encontréis.

It’ll give you that push in the right direction and help you see that there is so much potential out there!

Some innocent flirting is the best cure for a broken heart and it doesn’t have to amount to anything unless you want it to.

So, if you’re ready and willing, I think it’s time to put your dancing shoes back on and go get yourself back to the old you!

Where There’s A Will…

There’s most certainly a way!

El enamoramiento no es algo que deba tomarse a la ligera, ya que a veces te hace pasar por el torbellino emocional de una relación real.

But if you’re adamant to get yourself out of your spunk, you’re sure able to heal as if it never happened in the first place.

Sólo hace falta un poco de voluntad y algo de esfuerzo.

Nobody said it was easy (just ask Coldplay) but it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it.

Everything that’s valuable and precious in life comes at a certain cost.

Sometimes you’ll end up broken-hearted but it’ll teach you a lot of lessons and make you that much stronger.

When you catch intense feelings for someone, there’s no other way than fighting right through them.

And when you get to the finish line, you’ll see just how strong, capable and fabulous you are.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

In a few short weeks, you’ll be a new person and your crush will be nothing but a thing of the past.

Véase también: Lo Que Me Gusta De Ti: Una lista de 100 razones por las que te quiero