10 preguntas a su cónyuge infiel (+ cómo enfrentarse a él)
Have You just found out that your spouse had an extramarital affair? I assume you’re on a real emotional rollercoaster right now, but are you also aware that you have to confront them sooner or later?
Aquí tienes 10 preguntas para hacerle a tu cónyuge infiel que te ayudarán a entender sus razones.
You’re in a really difficult situation here, and I can’t even imagine how much it hurts. This isn’t just another one of those casual “rough patches” that all married couples experience.
Esto es algo que puede acabar con tu matrimonio para siempre.
For most of us, marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s something sacred, and it’s simply a vow to God that we will love, respect, and cherish that one person for the rest of our lives.
Unfortunately, some don’t think the same, and they simply don’t feel bad if they break that sacred vow and hurt their loved one.
Of course, we’re all human beings, and sometimes we all experience weak moments in life when we’re unable to think clearly.
In those moments, we’re all prone to making some bad decisions and wrong choices.
En resumidas cuentas, todos cometemos errores y merecemos una segunda oportunidad. Sin embargo, antes de enfrentarte a tu cónyuge, tienes que replantearte tu matrimonio y procesar tus sentimientos en paz.
La buena noticia es que su matrimonio puede salvarse incluso después de una traición así. Sobrevivir a una infidelidad es emocionalmente agotador.
Rebuilding trust is very difficult, but if both partners are ready to put some effort in, it’s possible to move on and leave all the bad behind.
Las 10 preguntas más frecuentes a un cónyuge infiel
Now, you probably want to confront your unfaithful partner, but you don’t know how to do it and what should you even ask them, right?
Estas 10 preguntas que debe hacer a su cónyuge infiel le ayudarán a enfrentarse a él y a averiguar más cosas sobre la infidelidad.
¿Pensaste en mí aunque sea por un segundo?
As I’ve already said, we all sometimes make some decisions that we aren’t so proud of.
Sin embargo, antes de tomar cualquier decisión, debemos pensar en sus consecuencias y en cómo puede afectar a las personas que queremos y nos importan.
If your partner has been cheating on you for some time, it’s a sign they didn’t care about your feelings.
Maybe they did, but they just thought that you’d never find out about their affair and that what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
¿Te sentiste culpable?
Si su pareja muestra signos de remordimiento, it’s a clear sign they still love you and that they’ve just made a huge mistake that they’ll regret for the rest of their life.
On the other hand, if you don’t see any signs of remorse, that shows your spouse doesn’t care for you at all.
They also don’t care about the future of your marriage, and they will probably cheat on you again sooner or later.
¿Lamentas haber hecho trampas o lamentas que te hayan pillado?
Cuando empecé a recopilar esta lista de 10 preguntas para hacerle a tu cónyuge infiel, esta pregunta fue la primera que me vino a la mente.
Unfortunately, some cheaters don’t feel sorry for their actions. They only feel sorry for not being careful enough and getting caught in the end.
If that’s the case with your spouse, then this probably isn’t the first time they’ve cheated on you, and it definitely won’t be the last. It’s obvious that they don’t genuinely love you.
¿Qué te hizo tener una aventura?
Pregúntele a su cónyuge qué le faltaba en su matrimonio que le hizo tener una aventura emocional con otra persona.
One of the most common reasons people cheat is because they’re missing something in their current relationship, and they try to find it by getting involved in another aventura emocional.
However, no matter what your partner’s answer to this question is, don’t blame yourself for their betrayal. They should come to you and tell you what’s bothering them and what they are missing in your marriage.
¿Sientes algo por esa persona?
If it was just a mistake, your partner shouldn’t have caught any romantic feelings for the other person.
Sin embargo, si dicen que empezaron a sentir algo por esa tercera persona, o peor aún, si empezaron a enamorarse, eso significaría que su matrimonio ha llegado a su fin.
Lo único que puedes hacer es aceptar que tu relación ha terminado y que tienes que seguir adelante con tu vida con o sin tu cónyuge.
¿Fue algo puntual o estuviste saliendo con esa persona durante un tiempo?
Mi consejo es que no preguntes demasiado sobre su compañero sentimental o su aventura en general.
Sin embargo, es una pregunta importante porque puede revelar si su cónyuge tuvo tiempo suficiente para captar sentimientos por la tercera persona.
Most relationship experts agree that it’s easier for spouses perdonar una aventura única que algo que duró un periodo de tiempo mayor.
¿Habéis hablado alguna vez del futuro?
Esta es una pregunta muy importante que debe hacer a su cónyuge infiel. Si vieron a su pareja infiel durante algún tiempo y hablaron de su futuro juntos, las cosas están bastante claras ahí.
It means that it wasn’t just a one-time thing and that they planned to be and to stay together in the future. Unfortunately, then it’s an obvious sign your spouse doesn’t love you at all.
On the other hand, if it was a mistake, they probably didn’t have time to talk about the future because it probably was a one-time thing.
That would also be a good sign that your spouse didn’t catch feelings for their affair partner.
¿Cómo te sentirías si yo te hiciera lo mismo?
En esta lista de 10 preguntas para hacerle a tu cónyuge infiel, ésta es mi favorita. Simplemente pídele a tu cónyuge que imagine cómo se sentiría y cuál sería su reacción si las cosas fueran al revés.
Esta es una pregunta muy importante para un infiel porque le hará pensar en su error. Deja que se imaginen cómo se sentirían si les hubieras engañado.
It really hurts just to think about being betrayed by your loved one in such a way. This is just a hypothetical question, don’t start thinking about getting even with them because it won’t do you any good.
I know this can put you in “cheating beast mode,” but trust me, evening the score won’t make you feel any better. It can only make your healing and reconciliation process a lot more complicated.
¿De verdad crees que mereces el perdón?
La pregunta anterior les facilitará mucho la respuesta a esta pregunta. Quiero decir más fácil de responder, no más fácil de manejar.
Si su cónyuge infiel le ama honestamente y si se arrepiente de lo que le hizo, tendrá una respuesta negativa a esta pregunta.
Infidelity isn’t something that can be forgiven so easily. A person needs to show signs of remorse, and they should try to prove they’ve changed and that they will never hurt their partner ever again.
You really need to earn someone’s forgiveness after you betray them in this way.
That’s why an honest person, a partner who loves and respects you, won’t ever say that they deserve your forgiveness before they show it through their actions.
¿Estás dispuesto a ir a terapia matrimonial para salvar este matrimonio?
Si su marido infiel/wife doesn’t want to visit a marriage counselor and try to fix your marriage problem in that way, it’s a clear sign that they neither love nor respect you enough.
They’ve made a mistake, and they should be finding solutions to make your marriage work again.
If you’ve decided to forgive them for cheating and to move on with them, the least they can do is go to marriage counseling with you.
Véase también: ¿Cómo se sienten los infieles consigo mismos? 17 respuestas y mitos desmentidos
Cómo enfrentarse a un cónyuge infiel: 10 consejos eficaces
Enfrentarse a una pareja infiel nunca es tarea fácil.
We have so much to tell them, but we’re aware that we shouldn’t act in anger and that we should choose our words carefully so we don’t say something we could regret later.
That’s why it’s never a good idea to confront your cheating spouse the moment you find out about their betrayal. Cool down before you decide to confront them.
Prepara todas las pruebas que tengas
Lo peor que puedes hacer es enfrentarte a tu pareja sin tener ninguna prueba real o sólida sobre su aventura extramatrimonial.
It could only go in their favor, and it’ll be easier for them to echar la culpa a otros onto you or make you believe that you’re just imagining it all.
Como dijo la famosa coach de relaciones, Sheri Meyers, “Without proof, you will look (or be treated) like a distrusting fool at best and, at worst, you will ensure that your cheating partner learns to cover their tracks better.”
You can never point your finger at someone before you’re completely sure that you have strong proof that person is guilty. Otherwise, your words won’t have real value, and it’ll all be pointless.
RELACIONADO: Cómo atrapar a un infiel de 12 maneras infalibles
Don’t beat around the bush
Be direct when you confront your partner about their cheating. You’re dealing with a serious marriage problem here, and those kinds of things need to be solved as quickly as possible.
Sin embargo, sería una buena idea dejar que tu pareja te lo confesara todo por sí misma. Todo será mucho más fácil si se decide a confesar.
Puedes preguntar a tu pareja si te va a dar una respuesta sincera si le haces una pregunta muy seria e importante.
Luego puedes preguntarles si te hicieron algo malo, algo que pudiera herir tus sentimientos.
Si optan por callarse y negarlo, debes confrontarles directamente con tus pruebas.
Dígales que sabe they’ve been cheating on you desde hace tiempo y que lo peor es que querían seguir ocultándolo y mintiendo sobre ello.
Mantén la calma
Antes de hablar con su cónyuge infiel about their betrayal, you need to calm yourself down. Take some quiet time, cool down, process your feelings in peace…
You’re feeling a whole range of different emotions right now, I know. That’s why you need to cleanse your mind and do an emotional detox.
It’s particularly important to remain calm during your confrontation.
You’re standing at a crossroads in your marriage right now, and you can’t afford to act in anger and take any wrong steps or make bad decisions.
Don’t ever let your anger control you!
Tienes que controlar tus emociones, no al revés. Sé que tus sentimientos están tan mezclados en este momento, pero también sé que la ira es definitivamente la que prevalece.
It’s normal to feel angry, disappointed, and hurt. It’s okay to cry or break some glasses, do whatever you think might help you.
It’s good to let those emotions out because suppressing and bottling them up would be so wrong and deeply toxic for you. However, you should have control over them even after they come to the surface.
Don’t let your negative emotions control or dictate the future of your marriage.
Enfrentarse a un infiel es la tarea más difícil para un cónyuge traicionado, y realmente necesitas estar tranquilo si quieres solucionarlo con tu pareja.
Prepárate para su reacción
El infiel siempre intenta negarlo todo al principio.
They aren’t sure about the evidence the other person has, and they think they shouldn’t rat themselves out before they’re completely sure that the other person knows about their affair for sure.
In the beginning, they might even pretend they’re very shocked and disappointed because you doubt their loyalty.
Then, they’ll try to get out of that situation by using some lame excuses and by shifting the blame back onto you.
In the end, they’ll finally admit it all once they realize they’ve been caught. They might even start crying because they think their tears may soften you and make you forgive them and forget all about it.
Sin duda puede esperar tantos diferentes reacciones de un tramposo. However, the point is that you have to be prepared for each and every one of them because it’s the only way you’ll keep your own dignity.
Intenta escuchar lo que tienen que decir
If it was a one-time thing, it probably was a huge mistake for your partner, and they won’t ever be able to forgive themselves too.
They didn’t want to cheat on you in the first place; they simply made a massive mistake in one of their weak moments.
Sin embargo, si su aventura emocional lasted for a while, it can’t be seen as a mistake because you can’t go along hurting someone everyday and, in the end, try to make it all look like a huge mistake.
Las 10 preguntas anteriores a su cónyuge infiel le ayudarán a comprender sus motivos. Por supuesto, solo si te dan respuestas sinceras.
Don’t let them shift the blame onto you
Este es uno de los muchos cosas frustrantes que hacen los tramposos when they’re exposed. They start to play the awful blame-shifting game.
They don’t want to be seen as the only culprit for the break up/divorce; that’s why they’ll try to shift the blame onto you.
In a way, they’ll try to say that you were the one who pushed them into the arms of a third person because of your actions/mistakes.
Nunca dejes que lo hagan. Todos sabemos quién es el verdadero culpable aquí y quién hizo daño a la persona que aman. Además, aceptar la culpa parcial de su engañar significaría that you’re letting them win.
Don’t ask too much about the other person
In my opinion, the betrayed spouse should never ask for too much information about their spouse’s affair partner.
Whether it’s their co-worker, your mutual friend, or someone else you know, nothing will change the ugly truth.
You can ask them how long it lasted or whether they talked about the future or not, but you shouldn’t try to find out more about the third person. They aren’t important at all in this case.
Finding out who your spouse’s affair partner is could only be more hurtful for you. That’s why you should allow your spouse to keep it to themselves and work on finding solutions to your marriage problem.
Permítete sentir exactamente lo que sientes
I’ve already said this, but it’s extremely important to remember that you should never suppress your emotions. Don’t think that crying or similarly expressing your feelings makes you any less manly.
The thing is that we all have some weak moments where we just can’t pretend that we’re brave enough to go through all of it alone.
Embotellar tus emociones y huir de ellas sólo puede arruinar tu salud emocional y mental.
Sugiere tomarte un descanso de tu matrimonio; puede hacer mucho bien.
Lo mejor para ambos sería tomarse un tiempo separados.
Aunque decidas salvar tu matrimonio y restablecer de nuevo una relación sana entre vosotros, necesitas tomarte un tiempo de tranquilidad para pensar en todo en paz.
It isn’t enough to simply disculparse por hacer trampas and expect that all can be forgiven immediately. Your spouse should be aware that they’ll need to make a significant effort to earn your forgiveness.
Fighting for love is worth everything. It’s always worth it to fight for such a sacred institution as marriage.
Sin embargo, antes de visitar a un consejero matrimonialdeberías separarte por un tiempo y procesar tus pensamientos y sentimientos en paz.
Cuídate. Trabaja en reforzar tu autoestima porque esto también podría dañar tu confianza.
Mantén a los demás al margen de tus problemas matrimoniales porque este tipo de cosas deben quedar entre vosotros dos.
Don’t post about it on social media, and don’t talk about it with your co-workers or other people who aren’t that close to you.
Palabras finales
I know that finding out that your partner has cheated on you can make you want to throw in the towel on your marriage, but you should give yourself time before you make any final decisions. Don’t react in anger.
Don’t make any hasty decisions that you may regret later but accept every stage of recuperación de la aventura.
Just try to think about all the time and effort you put into your marriage. Think about all the memories you and your partner have created over the years. It’s not something that can easily be forgotten.
Those little flashbacks will make you understand that it’s worth the fight. Remember the first time your spouse expressed their feelings to you, and it’ll give you the hope and strength to save your marriage.
Confronta a tu pareja y escucha primero lo que tiene que decir sobre su error.
Comunícate de una manera sana y constructiva al respecto, y estas 10 preguntas para hacerle a tu cónyuge infiel definitivamente te ayudarán con ello.
Procese sus sentimientos en paz, dése un tiempo para pensar en su matrimonio y en si merece la pena luchar por él.
Surviving infidelity is pretty difficult. Rebuilding trust will also be pretty challenging, but it’s all possible if there is love and a strong will to fix your marriage.
Rendirse es lo más fácil que puedes hacer. Una persona fuerte y valiente nunca se rinde. Tu matrimonio merece otra oportunidad, así que quédate y esfuérzate para que tu matrimonio vuelva a funcionar.
