13 señales de que está emocionalmente apegado a ti + guía sobre el apego
Sentir apego emocional por alguien especial es la mejor sensación del mundo, sobre todo si la otra persona siente lo mismo. Sin embargo, con frecuencia, el apego puede volverse malsano en un chasquido de dedos.
Pero, ¿cómo saber cuál es tu estilo de apego? ¿Estás realmente enamorado o sólo sientes necesidad de amor?
Is there a way to tell if someone is attached to you? What’s the difference between love and attachment?
Hay situaciones en las que conexión emocional intensa with someone but you have a hard time defining it. Also, you can’t seem to figure out if your feelings are reciprocated.
Well, in that case, you need the help of an expert and you’ve come to the right place. Here is everything you need to know about attachment including the signs that someone’s emotionally attached to you.
Emotionally Attached Significado
Antes de entrar en materia, debemos tener claro qué apego emocional es.
In simple words, the emotional attachment means feeling strong affection for someone and more. You have this uncontrollable urge to be next to this person and let’s not forget the powerful bond you two share.
La posesividad también caracteriza a este tipo de apego en la mayoría de los casos. Quieres a esa persona sólo para ti y la sola idea de que no sienta lo mismo te hace perderla.
But this doesn’t mean that being attached to someone is necessarily a bad thing- it all depends on what you do with your feelings.
If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, there is definitely a possibility of hell breaking loose. On the other hand, this kind of emotional connection can also be una base para una relación sana.
Tipos de apego emocional
Relationships are difficult as it is, but to make things even worse—which you kind of expected because nothing can go smoothly—there are 3 different types of attachment when it comes to men:
Amigo adjunto
El apego entre amigos es muy común. Empiezas a construir una relación con él, pero sus sentimientos hacia ti siguen siendo solo platónicos.
Este es sin duda un alerta de zonificación amiga. You can forget about having a romantic relationship with him. He has blocked you in that way and once you get blocked, there’s no way of getting unblocked.
Yes, the truth is that you two shouldn’t be lovers only if you plan on having something serious- you should also be best friends. But in this case, you’re nothing but good friends and that’s the whole problem.
The issue about this is that usually, a friend attachment starts off similarly to an emotional one. It’s quite difficult to tell these two apart, especially if you’re the one who wants something more.
En esta situación, dejarse llevar es pan comido. Tienes a un hombre que quiere pasar tiempo contigo, que valora tu opinión y que, obviamente, siente algo por ti.
Naturalmente, usted supone que se está enamorando de ti. Entonces, de la nada aparecen sus historias sobre otras mujeres.
Al principio, te convences de que lo hace para darte celos. Sin embargo, muy pronto te das cuenta de que ese hombre te ve como su colega y eso te cae como un jarro de agua fría.
Yes, the truth is that he loves and appreciates you. But that’s how everyone feels about their real friends.
If this is something you can relate to, I can give you one piece of advice only: back off! Don’t torment yourself by staying next to him just because you hope that one of these days he’ll finally start seeing you as material de novia.
Apego físico
Physical attachment is based solely on your looks and chemistry. It happens when you’re exclusively led by your hormones, desires, and primal instincts.
Pero, como sabes, química real no es suficiente si quieres una relación seria.
You can start with it, but after the honeymoon phase is over, the chemistry will fade and you’re left with nothing.
El sexo puede ser estupendo al principio, pero al cabo de un tiempo también se desmoronará.
Nevertheless, just because this isn’t a real deal- it doesn’t mean that it can’t rock your world.
Apego romántico
Finally, the thing you’re here for: romantic attachment. Love attachment is something you should be interested in. That is the real deal.
This is the kind of attachment that encompasses both friend and physical attachment- because you can’t be real partners if you aren’t friends and if you don’t share strong chemistry.
Este tipo de apego es la fase final en la que puedes estar completamente segura de que un hombre quiere ser tu persona para siempre. It’s something you’ll have and feel for the rest of your life.
Ser capaz de alcanzar este nivel de apego demuestra que tanto tú como tu posible pareja romántica sois emocionalmente maduro. Esta es la corona de su relación y la base más sólida posible para una relación sana y un amor verdadero.
¿Cómo se encariñan emocionalmente los hombres?
Los hombres, bueno, son una historia completamente diferente. No se dice que seamos dos mundos completamente distintos por accidente.
Hay una buena razón para ello. Las mujeres son seres verbales y les gusta expresarse con palabras, mientras que los hombres ocultan sus verdaderos sentimientos, el hecho de que están emocionalmente apegados.
Llega a la raíz de sus emociones y haz que se abra a ti como nunca antes lo había hecho con Su obsesión secretauna guía asombrosa de la psique y los instintos masculinos.
Se lo guardan porque a la mayoría de los hombres no se les dan bien las palabras. Tal vez tienen miedo al rechazo o humillación si los sentimientos no son recíprocos.
Así, demostrarán si se sienten atraídos por ti, pero de forma sutil, con pequeñas señales adorables.
Depende de ti descodificarlos y ver si quiere que respondas.
Give them a break—it’s not that easy to court a girl if you are not sure she likes you back, especially if the man is just another nice guy scared to do something stupid and lose you.
Actually, when you think about it, these signs will also tell you if he is a nice guy or a bad boy because bad boys don’t have the time to do these things.
Van directamente al grano y, normalmente, ese grano te deja solo y con el corazón roto.
Por lo tanto, si ves estas señales, no sólo puedes estar segura de que está encariñado contigo y le gustas, sino que también puedes estar segura de que es un buen chico.
Con el Sistema de devoción, you’ll get his attention and his devotion – for as long as you want it.
Señales de que un hombre está emocionalmente unido a ti
Women are open books when it comes to their feelings. We are just that type of people. When we like someone, when we are attached to them, we’ll let them know.
We’ll be straightforward because there is no point in wasting any time—you have to get down to business right away.
Le gusta pasar tiempo contigo
Esta es una de las señales más evidentes de que siente apego por ti.
Utilizará para usted su tiempo libre, normalmente reservado a la relajación.
Irá y saldrá contigo porque le gustas, y definitivamente siente algo por ti.
I know, some of you may say it’s because he thinks he can have sex with you, but what if you’ve taken sex off the table? What then?
Si sigue saliendo contigo, ¿significa que está contigo sólo porque le interesa aprovechándose de ti?
You see, it doesn’t because he really has no ulterior motive. Your relationship is not physical, it’s not sexual because you are not friends with benefits, so you can be sure he is not in it for the sex. He is in it because he likes you.
Te contacta todo el tiempo
Not a day can go by that he doesn’t call or text you. Isn’t this adorable? He wants to see if you’re okay and he wants to let you know he’s thinking about you, that he’s missing you.
Sé que esto suena un poco insistente y acosador, pero no si es adorable. Hay una gran diferencia entre ser espeluznante por teléfono y absolutamente adorable.
If you like him and if he doesn’t bother you by wanting to see your every move, if he isn’t acting possessive, then it’s just adorable.
He genuinely wants to see if you are okay and in the end, he just wants to say “hi” and show you he exists and is pensando en ti.
Sólo le interesas tú
Concentra toda su energía en ti. Puedes estar segura de que eres la única mujer para él.
He is spending all this time with you; he’s calling and texting you just to see what you’ve been up to and most importantly, he is not dating other people.
De acuerdo, puedes estar segura de que está apegado a ti y quiere tener algo contigo.
Va más allá
¿A quién no le gustan los regalos y las cenas por San Valentín? Para la mayoría de los chicos, sabes lo que te van a regalar y más o menos te lo esperas.
But, what if your guy can’t afford all those beautiful things he gives you, all those beautiful places he takes you to?
Well, if he does it anyway, then he is really giving everything he’s got to win you over. You mean that much to him.
Te mira de una manera especial
You just know this kind of a look. Once you see it, you know it’s the look that says te quiere a ti y solo a ti. Puedes ver amor en sus ojos; puedes ver admiración.
Su rostro es apacible y feliz mientras te mira. Te das cuenta de que eso es todo.
This look cannot be faked. You can be a world-winning actor but you can’t fake that look.
Ni siquiera un narcisista disfrazado can fake this look. It’s genuine and you’ll know it when you see it.
Siempre te pone a ti primero
Let’s get one thing straight. If he doesn’t put you first and if actúa egoístamente, you can be sure he is not the man who’ll stick around longer.
If he only takes care of himself and his needs, he’s probably even a selfish lover, and he is not the man for you.
Don’t think that a man who only thinks about himself is going to take you to a restaurant or actually pay any attention to you.
Pero, un hombre que está dispuesto a hacer cualquier cosa por ti y que se preocupa por tus necesidades y por ti, en general, es el hombre que está unido a ti y quiere estar contigo.
Te presenta a su familia y amigos
Uno de los signos más importantes que está interesado en ti and wants to be with you is when he insists on you meeting the most important people in his life—his friends and his family.
Le gustas tanto que quiere presumir de ti ante sus seres queridos.
He wants to get their approval, but even if he doesn’t, that won’t stop him because emotional attachment is not something you can easily forget.
Le pide su opinión
Le importa mucho lo que piensas. Siempre que necesita ayuda, sabe que puede acudir a ti. Sabe que no le juzgarás ni le dirás "te lo dije".
He knows you’ll help him as much as you can. When he needs advice, he will seek yours because he knows that you will do your best to give him a suggestion that is in his interest.
He likes the way you think and he respects your thoughts—that’s why he wants to hear your opinion.
Se inclina más hacia ti
No lo hace a propósito. Es sólo la ley de la atracción y se siente atraído por ti a lo grande.
Whenever he is close to you, he can’t help but lean to you because he wants to be with you and his body wants it, too.
He will never ambush you and capture you, so you don’t have anywhere to go if you don’t want him to lean to you.
Siempre te dejará un poco de espacio para que retrocedas si te sientes incómoda.
He is not pretending to be something he’s not
Cuando está contigo, es él mismo. No quiere actuar para ser algo que no es.
Este es otro signo de su atracciónde apego romántico.
He wants to be himself because he knows you won’t judge him. He doesn’t want to play you because you mean so much to him and he refuses to gamble away the chance of being with you.
He knows that masks fall sooner or later and he doesn’t want to risk it. Either you like him or you don’t.
Él mueve montañas por ti
There is nothing he can’t do for you; nothing is too difficult. It is not because he is a sucker. He enjoys it because he is emotionally connected to you.
He loves you and it’s not a problem to do anything you need him to do. He will use extra effort to take you out on a nice date.
Intentará planificar las cosas lo mejor posible para que seas feliz.
Es honesto
Él se abre a ti and there are no secrets. I mean, he won’t tell you his whole life story the moment he meets you, but when your relationship becomes more complex, he won’t hide anything from you.
Te responderá a todas las preguntas que le hagas, porque cuando apareces en escena, toda su vida es un libro abierto.
Sabe que los mentirosos siempre serán tachados de mentirosos.
Even if they repent for their lies, no one will trust them completely ever again. He doesn’t want to take that risk with you.
Quiere comprometerse contigo
Está seguro de que eres la persona con la que quiere pasar el resto de su vida.
He knows that your emotional connection is over the moon and he doesn’t want to risk losing that.
Salir con otras mujeres está descartado porque sólo te quiere a ti. Tú eres la fuente de su felicidad y el sentido de su vida.
Puede sonar cursi, pero lo eres, y eres una chica afortunada por tener eso con lo que tantas otras mujeres sueñan.
If you find yourself in these signs, then congratulations—you’ve got a man that is completely in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
He is not a liar; he doesn’t pretend to like you because he has no other motives to be with you except the fact he wants to.
Give him a chance because he’s probably too scared to say something directly.
Well, men are like that—what you can do but make the first move!
Preguntas frecuentes
¿Está emocionalmente unido a mí?
When a man feels a romantic attachment to you, he’ll have his ojos solo para ti. You two don’t even have to be in an actual relationship just yet but he’ll be committed to you either way.
This guy isn’t interested in any other girl besides you. Spending time with you makes him the happiest man alive and all he wants is your validation that he’s good enough.
Se preocupa por tu bienestar, te pone en primer lugar y está dispuesto a hacer cualquier cosa con tal de estar cerca de ti. Y no solo eso: este chico también está obsesionado con tu vida amorosa.
He wants to find out if you’re dating someone else and what type of men you like, so he can know whether he stands a chance or not.
Si esto se parece mucho a tu chico, no hay duda de una cosa: está apegado a ti.
How Do You Know You’re Attached To Someone?
When you’re attached to someone, you feel close to them even when you’re physically apart. Whenever you’re with them, you feel at home. Their hug is where you belong and feel more secure than ever.
You enjoy this person’s presence more than anything and you would spend every second of your day with them if you could. You can’t get them out of your head, as much as you try and you can’t picture your life without them there.
Romantizas toda tu relación y ves a esta persona como mucho mejor de lo que realmente es. You look at them through rose-tinted glasses and it’s like you refuse to notice any of their flaws.
Se siente bien, lo sé. Sin embargo, recuerda siempre que nadie es digno de perdiéndote a ti mismo.
No matter how attached you are to this special someone, please don’t detach from reality. Most importantly: don’t ever stop tú primero.
¿Cómo puedo dejar de sentir apego emocional?
Overcoming unhealthy attachment is not easy but it can be done. You just have to understand that you can live without them, even though it doesn’t appear that way now.
Instead of putting that much focus on your loved one, work on your self-esteem and remember that they don’t define you. Don’t forget that the steering wheel of your life is in your hands, so please don’t ever put your own happiness under someone else’s control!
You know, all of this attachment is cute- to a certain extent. But the moment it grows into emotional dependency, it’s a red flag that you have to do something.
You know exactly what I’m talking about, otherwise, you wouldn’t be wondering how to stop being attached, would you?
Hay una gran diferencia entre el apego malsano y el sano. Cuando sientes lo segundo, sientes ese hermoso vínculo emocional con la persona que te importa.
Sin embargo, cuando se tiene un estilo de apego malsano, la relación se convierte en lo único que importa. De repente, tus mejores amigos y familiares dejan de tener importancia. Y lo que es peor, te ignoras por completo a ti mismo.
The person you’re in love with dictates your entire life and your entire mood depends on the way they treat you. You feel incomplete without them and letting go is not an option.
Pues bien, he aquí exactamente cómo curarse de este tipo de dependencia malsana.
Encuentra la causa de tu estilo de apego malsano
Curing the consequences without finding the cause is in vain, don’t you think? That’s exactly why you must dig deep inside of yourself and figure out the reason for your patrones de relación poco saludables.
¿Es el miedo a ser abandonado? Las personas que han sido abandonadas en el pasado desarrollan una fobia a que la historia se repita.
If you’ve been left behind by someone who meant the world to you, it’s natural that you’re convinced everyone will treat you the same.
Another common cause is abuse. If you’ve ever been a victim of violence, you’ve probably lost the sense of self-worth and you desperately hold on to the people you care about, assuming you don’t deserve their love.
Also, your behavior can be caused by emotional neglect in the past. If you’ve felt unloved and unwanted, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to prevent something like that from happening again.
Irónicamente, tu necesidad suele tener un efecto contraproducente y acabas ahuyentando a tus seres queridos.
Deja de enamorarte del potencial
The next thing you should do if you want to detach yourself from someone is to stop romanticizing things. Let’s be honest: most of the time, you cling to all the could haves and should haves instead of seeing the reality.
You seeing your future with a guy doesn’t make your relationship perfect. But that’s exactly how you see it- without a single flaw.
En el momento en que conoces a alguien que te gusta, empiezas a imaginarte la vosotros dos atando el nudocriar un puñado de niños y cabalgar juntos hacia la puesta de sol.
Basically, you don’t attach to them- you attach to the idea of the life you want with them. Sometimes, you don’t fall in love with a person- you fall in love with the idea of love.
And once you stop doing that, you’ll also stop getting attached so fast.
Concentrarse en el propio progreso
Being attached means spending all of your energy on the object of your affection. It usually includes thinking about them all the time, religiously stalking their social media pages, struggling with negative thoughts about whether they’ll leave you, doing your best to fit into their life…
In order for this to stop, you have to shift your energy to someone else. No, I’m not advising you to start dating more people at once just to get your attention from this one person.
I’m talking about you here. You have to put your entire focus on yourself instead of racking your brain about your (potential) partner.
If you want to get rid of your unhealthy patterns, you have to build your self-confidence. It means realizing that you’re good enough with or without them and most importantly, understanding that someone else would love you, even if they left.
You can’t achieve any of this unless you engage in some serious self-improvement. That includes becoming your best self and turning your long-forgotten goal and dreams into reality.
Once that happens, you’ll start appreciating yourself more. You’ll recuperar la autoestima and you won’t need anyone’s validation.
Besides, you won’t have any time and energy left to obsess over them. And that’s your final goal, isn’t it?
Establezca algunas normas de comportamiento
You control your emotions- it’s not the other way around. That’s exactly why you have to learn how to control yourself in this kind of situation.
Fíjate unas normas de comportamiento y cúmplelas, pase lo que pase.
Start with seemingly little things, such as promising yourself that you’ll never double or triple text your (potential) partner if they haven’t responded to your first text. Promise yourself that you won’t ask them if they love you every day just because you need reassurance.
Another good idea is to choose a day of the week when you’ll see your friends and family without your BAE. I don’t care how in love you might be and how badly you want to see your person on this day as well- there is no chance in hell that you’d allow yourself to break this rule.
The examples are endless but the point is the same. You don’t have to cut ties with this special someone but you have to find a way to detach yourself from them.
Consigue ayuda
Finally, if you notice that all of this is taking a toll on you, it’s time to get some help. A good idea is to talk with your good friends or family members. Sometimes, you just need a person of trust to hear you out and be your shoulder to cry on.
Además, no es ninguna vergüenza hablar con un profesional de la salud mental. Ellos te presentarán diferentes estrategias para aliviar tu dolor y te ayudarán a afrontar este problema de la forma más sana posible.
¿Es amor o apego emocional?
While love’s primary goal is making the other person happy, attachment is directed towards fulfilling your own needs. Even though many people think that amor y apego emocional son sinónimos, existen algunas diferencias clave entre estos dos conceptos.
Egoísta frente a desinteresado
Amar de verdad a alguien significa querer que la otra persona sea feliz, with or without you. It is all about wanting their well-being, even if that doesn’t include you.
On the other hand, attachment is usually all about you. Yes, you’re obsessed with your bae but you’re doing it for all the selfish reasons.
Maybe you cling to them because you’re scared of dying alone, maybe they give you everything you’ve been looking for or just fit into your idea of su pareja perfecta.
En cualquier caso, tu objetivo final es satisfacer tus propias necesidades emocionales, no las de ellos.
Liberador frente a posesivo
Estar apegado significa querer tener un control total sobre la persona amada. Significa ser excesivamente posesivo y no darle suficiente espacio para respirar.
Love is different. When you love someone, you give them all the freedom in the world. Fear doesn’t paralyze you, you’re aware of your values and you don’t even think of caging them.
At some level, you’re behaving like this on purpose. As much as you love your person, you don’t want them around if you have to keep them from leaving.
Querer frente a necesitar
Otra diferencia crucial entre apego y amor es la que existe entre querer y necesitar.
You might love this person to the moon and back. Despite that, you still know that you’d survive without them. You can live without them- you just choose not to.
Por el contrario, estar apegado significa necesitar desesperadamente a esa persona en tu vida. Significa aferrarse a ellos y agarrarlos como una pajita.
In this case, you’re sure that you can’t make it without them. You need them like you need the air to breathe and that’s exactly what’s unhealthy about your style of attachment.
¿Qué es la teoría del apego?
Una teoría del apego afirma que tu adulto estilo de fijación se ve influida únicamente por el tipo de conexión emocional que hayas tenido con tu cuidador principal. En resumen, afirma que la relación con los padres determina cualquier otra relación posterior.
La teoría fue sugerida originalmente por John Bowlby, psicoanalista y psiquiatra en la década de 1980.
Cuatro estilos de fijación
Según la teoría del apego, existen cuatro diferentes estilos de apego en los adultos y cada uno de ellos corresponde a estilos de apego en los niños. Aquí los tienes:
Asegure
You don’t allow your insecurities to get to you. In fact, you’re extremely confident when it comes to your relationship.
You don’t let doubts get the best of you and you’re never needy.
If all of this is true, your style of attachment is definitely secure. It can only be a good sign: a sign that you’ve had an intense emotional connection with your primary caregivers. It taught you how to express love, how to recognize it, and how not to get too attached.
Ansioso-preocupado/ Ansioso-ambivalente
Este estilo es el primero de la lista de estilos inseguros de apego.
Los adultos con un estilo ansioso-preocupado probablemente se enfrentaron a una crianza incoherente cuando eran niños.
The moment you start thinking about yourself, you’re overwhelmed by negative thoughts. But you’re not like that with others. Actually, you see all of their qualities and consequently assume that everyone is better than you.
You’re an overthinker and you keep on analyzing every single detail regarding your partner, in fear that he’s about to leave you behind. This is the main characteristic of an anxious-preoccupied or estilo ambivalente.
Even if it’s all butterflies and roses, you can’t fight the idea that your partner will walk out on you. You picture different scenarios and look for ways in which he could turn his back on you.
Amor evasivo
Las personas con un estilo de apego evitativo won’t allow themselves to depend on anyone. They’ve been through a lot and every time they thought they could count on someone, they ended up betrayed.
Their independence and liberty are the number one priority. They couldn’t stand being caged, even though we’re talking about a golden cage.
Ansioso-evitador/ Temeroso-evitador/ Desorganizado
Si tiene este estilo de fijación, you’re afraid of intimacy. No, I’m not talking about the bedroom activity here.
Instead, I’m talking about fully exposing yourself spiritually to your partner. Just the possibility of having to open up to others might scare you.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not on the dating market anymore. You’re 100% percent invested while it’s all fun and games but the moment things get a little more serious- you run for your life.
Para terminar:
You’ve learned everything there is to know about emotional attachment and you’ve figured out the signs a guy is emotionally attached to you. What more could a girl in a modern dating pool ask for?
Well, using this new knowledge wisely would be desirable. Trust me: if you play your cards right, and I’m sure that’s exactly what you’ll do- every el chico se volverá loco por ti.
Además, es la mejor oportunidad para curarte de tus viejos traumas de apego y poder empezar de nuevo.
