7 señales de que tienes un estilo de apego inseguro

¿Le da miedo abrirse a alguien nuevo? ¿Tienes miedo de que te hagan daño en las relaciones?

Muchas mujeres (y hombres) que han experimentado los inconvenientes y el dolor que causan las rupturas desarrollan más tarde un estilo de apego inseguro (sin ni siquiera ser conscientes de ello).

Un estilo de apego inseguro se forma básicamente a partir del miedo.

It is a fear of being abandoned, not being liked by someone you like, a fear of cheating or breaking up with someone you’re in a relationship with.

You can be stuck in this attachment style for years while you’re dating or in a relationship, or even when you’re doing none of the two.

And when you feel insecure, you tend to do things you normally wouldn’t, which may cause a lot of problems in future relationships.

If you’re not sure whether this is happening to you, here are 7 signs you might have an insecure attachment style!

1. Le cuesta comunicarse con su pareja

You’re afraid of opening yourself to your partner, which makes it utterly difficult for you to establecer una comunicación sana en una relación.

You are afraid of being honest with them because you don’t want to get hurt.

So, you usually expect from them to already know what’s going on in your mind and act accordingly. And when they don’t, you get mad at them.

It is an exhausting cycle of pretending, expecting, and getting mad about something you yourself don’t understand.

Un estilo de apego inseguro está dificultando que te sientas libre para ser quien realmente eres con ellos y establecer relaciones sanas. conexión y comunicación.

2. Comparas tu relación con otras relaciones

No matter if your relationship is already close to perfection, you always want more and you’re never satisfied with what you already have.

Tus altas expectativas están dificultando que tu pareja consiga cumplirlas.

So, you often find yourself comparing your relationship to other relationships, thinking that they have something you don’t.

In your eyes, other people’s relationships are always more successful and happier than yours.

Es como un limbo hecho de ilusión y pensamientos totalmente irreales.

Todo esto obliga a su pareja a desesperarse por encontrar una solución a su insatisfacción.

Even though they think everything’s good in your relationship, you are never able to confirm it because your tendency to expect more of them is simply stronger than you.

3. Finges confianza

You’re completely aware of the importance of being confident in your relationship, but your insecure attachment style is making it hopelessly difficult for you.

So, the only thing  left to do is fake it. You fake being confident, while on the inside you’re the total opposite.

Your world is shattering from the inside; meanwhile, you’re pretending that you couldn’t be happier.

Aunque es posible fingir durante algún tiempo, a largo plazo es casi imposible. 

Your partner will notice if you’re not being genuine and it’ll just be a matter of time before your insecurities reach the surface.

Fingir confianza es sólo un alivio temporal, pero a largo plazo es totalmente destructivo.

Véase también: Esto es lo que aporta siempre una mujer segura de sí misma

4. Juegas a juegos mentales

A veces juegas a juegos mentales por inseguridad o porque crees que tu pareja no te presta suficiente atención.

So, you deliberately refuse to answer their calls, pretending you’re busy, or you let them wait longer than usual to text back.

Al hacer esto, crees que captarás su atención, les obligarás a esforzarse más y tendrán miedo de perderte.

El miedo a perderlos invariablemente también crea ese mismo miedo en ellos.

You know that playing games is unfair and unhealthy for your well-being and relationship, but you can’t help yourself.

Su estilo de apego inseguro is driving you to be something you’re not and it is extremely difficult for you to explain this to your partner.

5. Sacas conclusiones precipitadas

Diga lo que te diga tu pareja, tú siempre sacas tus propias conclusiones.

Para ser más precisos, tiendes a sacar conclusiones precipitadas con regularidad, lo que provoca problemas de comunicación y de comprensión mutua.

Cuando tu pareja te envía un mensaje de texto o te dice algo ambiguo, inmediatamente piensas en el peor escenario posible.

Insecure attachment style means living in fear of being abandoned and that is why this is the first thing that comes to your mind when you can’t understand something.

You jump to conclusions and you’re not prepared to change your mind, even if your partner reassures you that there’s nothing you should be worried about.

Your thoughts are twisted and you can’t help but feel disappointed and scared of what’s next.

6. You’re terrified of infidelity

Similar a la anterior, tu petrificación por la infidelidad te obliga a hacer cosas completamente descabelladas.

Te sientes obligado a comprobar hasta el último detalle sobre el evento al que va a asistir tu pareja, esperas saber cuánta gente habrá, si habrá mujeres, etc.

You’re so terrified of unfaithfulness that you can’t be at peace when your partner is somewhere out without you.

And often you accuse them of doing something they really didn’t do. Your insecurities often make you act jealous for no reason and destroy your relationship.

Relacionado: Apego Ansioso Preocupado: Superar la inseguridad

7. You’re ambivalente respecto al compromiso

O quieres entregarte al cien por cien a tu pareja y comprometerte a todos los niveles o no quieres nada en absoluto.

Your commitment decisions vary from day to day and you simply can’t decide what to do anymore.

Tu corazón quiere comprometerse, pero tu mente no te deja por miedo a que te abandonen, te engañen o te hagan daño de un modo u otro.

You can’t decide whether you want to invest all of yourself in a relationship or just run away from them and act like you’ve never known them.