4 razones por las que eres adicta a los chicos malos y a los hombres que te hacen daño

It’s broad daylight. You’re standing in the middle of the street, furious with the rage you’ve been holding inside for far too long, arguing with someone your life currently revolves around.

He didn’t call you, and he promised he would. This happens all the time, and you’re just fed up with it. All of this is happening and the possible love of your life is sitting in the coffee place across the street watching you, nodding his head and sipping his macchiato.

Mientras tú estás por ahí malgastando tu vida con un hombre que tarde o temprano te hará daño (un chico malo that doesn’t want to commit), the love of your life is standing right in front of you, but you don’t even notice him.

But the thing is, these almost extinct creatures, these nice guys are so hard to find because they’ve been outshined by Tinder guys and creatures of the modern dating world.

It’s really almost impossible to find a man who’ll treat you right, who’ll genuinely care for you, so you settle for an imbécil inmaduro and you hope for the best – you hope he is not a jerk.

But surprise, surprise. He is just one more in the sea of men who’ll hurt you. It’s like they are everywhere, and they are spreading so fast, like a plague.

Estamos tan acostumbrados a atiborrarnos de helado mientras lloramos a lágrima viva y hablamos con nuestros amigos por teléfono repitiendo constantemente una palabra, una eterna pregunta – ¡¿POR QUÉ?!

That’s what we do. That’s what these modern men have made us do.

The bottom line is, we seem to be living a life of pain, true heart-wrecking pain because it’s been a year you’re dating, and he still doesn’t know whether he’d like to take things seriously or not.

¿Tan difícil es tener una relación comprometida? ¿Pedimos demasiado? En los tiempos que corren, parece que sí.

So, I’ve been thinking, and I had to ask myself why do we always fall for bad boys, men who’ll definitely hurt us in the end, and I came to a conclusion. This is what you’re doing, you and me both:

1. Quieres arreglarlos

La crianza está escrita en tu código genético. Tienes el instinto interior de ayudar a la gente que parece rota. Y, a tus ojos, ¿quién es más perfecto para el papel de víctima que un chico malo, un hombre que claramente necesita un arreglo?

So you roll up your sleeves and you begin your quest – to save his poor, little, wounded soul. How does it all end? With you barely getting up from your bed in the morning, and he partying away ‘to forget’. Clearly, he is having such a hard time. Boohoo!

You choose these men because real men don’t need to be fixed; ergo they are not as attractive.

2. You’re scared of commitment

Well, isn’t this surprising? Women fóbicos al compromiso? Sí, esto existe. Sí, esto existe. Así que, cuando aparece el hombre adecuado, quiere ir en serio contigo. Quiere tener un futuro contigo y eso te asusta.

Naturally, you won’t take any risks, so you go running to a man who is also scared of commitment. You know you’re safe. You know he won’t be asking you to take your relationship to a new level.

Although, there is one thing you weren’t counting on and that’s the scenario where you fall for him hard, and you change your mind about commitment fear, but he doesn’t. In this case, you get hurt, and you didn’t plan things on going that way.

3. Huyes de los hombres predecibles

Normal men seem too stable. There is no chaos around them which gives you the sense that they’re boring.

Por otra parte, ¿quién dice que el caos que los chicos malos crean a su alrededor significa que son divertidos y excitantes? Normalmente, el caos es interesante una o dos veces, pero después de algún tiempo, se vuelve frustrante.

Porque tú, como todos nosotros, quieres sentirte segura y protegida. Y eso es algo que un chico malo nunca te dará.

4. You’re paralyzed by his hotness

They are d-bags. They are everything a woman should never fall for, but you have to give them one thing and that is they are freakin’ hot!

Y lo peor es que saben están calientes, and they use it every day to get whatever they want. Not a lot of us can say ‘no’ to big blue dreamy eyes and the body of a Greek god, I’ll give you that.

¿Qué hacer al respecto?

Women crave stability, safety, and kindness the same way they crave excitement, adventure, and attraction. Normal, ordinary guys have all of those things, but most of the time all of us get blinded by those superficial ‘bad boy’ traits that fade soon.

Look for a man who is down to earth. Look for a stable guy and you won’t be sorry. He is not boring or predictable. He is just not all over the place. But that doesn’t mean a bit of ‘badness’ is hidden underneath the ‘good’ exterior. That doesn’t mean he is not as fun and adventurous as a bad boy.