4 motivi per cui sei dipendente dai cattivi ragazzi e dagli uomini che ti fanno del male

It’s broad daylight. You’re standing in the middle of the street, furious with the rage you’ve been holding inside for far too long, arguing with someone your life currently revolves around.

He didn’t call you, and he promised he would. This happens all the time, and you’re just fed up with it. All of this is happening and the possible love of your life is sitting in the coffee place across the street watching you, nodding his head and sipping his macchiato.

Mentre tu sei là fuori a sprecare la tua vita con un uomo che è destinato a farti del male prima o poi (un ragazzo cattivo that doesn’t want to commit), the love of your life is standing right in front of you, but you don’t even notice him.

But the thing is, these almost extinct creatures, these nice guys are so hard to find because they’ve been outshined by Tinder guys and creatures of the modern dating world.

It’s really almost impossible to find a man who’ll treat you right, who’ll genuinely care for you, so you settle for an idiota immaturo and you hope for the best – you hope he is not a jerk.

But surprise, surprise. He is just one more in the sea of men who’ll hurt you. It’s like they are everywhere, and they are spreading so fast, like a plague.

Siamo così abituati a rimpinzarci di gelato mentre piangiamo lacrime enormi e a parlare con i nostri amici al telefono ripetendo costantemente una parola, un'eterna domanda. – PERCHÉ?

That’s what we do. That’s what these modern men have made us do.

The bottom line is, we seem to be living a life of pain, true heart-wrecking pain because it’s been a year you’re dating, and he still doesn’t know whether he’d like to take things seriously or not.

Avere una relazione impegnata è così difficile? Chiediamo troppo? Al giorno d'oggi sembra proprio di sì.

So, I’ve been thinking, and I had to ask myself why do we always fall for bad boys, men who’ll definitely hurt us in the end, and I came to a conclusion. This is what you’re doing, you and me both:

1. Volete ripararli

Il nutrimento è scritto nel vostro codice genetico. Avete questo istinto profondo di aiutare le persone che sembrano rotte. E chi è più perfetto per il ruolo di vittima ai vostri occhi di un cattivo ragazzo, un uomo che ha chiaramente bisogno di essere aggiustato.

So you roll up your sleeves and you begin your quest – to save his poor, little, wounded soul. How does it all end? With you barely getting up from your bed in the morning, and he partying away ‘to forget’. Clearly, he is having such a hard time. Boohoo!

You choose these men because real men don’t need to be fixed; ergo they are not as attractive.

2. You’re scared of commitment

Well, isn’t this surprising? Women fobici dell'impegno? Sì, questa è una cosa. Sì, esiste. Quindi, quando arriva l'uomo giusto, vuole fare sul serio con te. Vuole avere un futuro con te e questo ti spaventa a morte.

Naturally, you won’t take any risks, so you go running to a man who is also scared of commitment. You know you’re safe. You know he won’t be asking you to take your relationship to a new level.

Although, there is one thing you weren’t counting on and that’s the scenario where you fall for him hard, and you change your mind about commitment fear, but he doesn’t. In this case, you get hurt, and you didn’t plan things on going that way.

3. Scappate dagli uomini prevedibili

Normal men seem too stable. There is no chaos around them which gives you the sense that they’re boring.

D'altra parte, chi dice che il caos che i cattivi ragazzi creano intorno a loro significa che sono divertenti ed eccitanti? Di solito il caos è interessante una o due volte, ma dopo qualche tempo diventa frustrante.

Perché lei, come tutte noi, vuole sentirsi al sicuro e protetta. E questo è qualcosa che un cattivo ragazzo non vi darà mai.

4. You’re paralyzed by his hotness

They are d-bags. They are everything a woman should never fall for, but you have to give them one thing and that is they are freakin’ hot!

E la cosa peggiore è che sanno sono caldi, and they use it every day to get whatever they want. Not a lot of us can say ‘no’ to big blue dreamy eyes and the body of a Greek god, I’ll give you that.

Cosa fare a questo proposito?

Women crave stability, safety, and kindness the same way they crave excitement, adventure, and attraction. Normal, ordinary guys have all of those things, but most of the time all of us get blinded by those superficial ‘bad boy’ traits that fade soon.

Look for a man who is down to earth. Look for a stable guy and you won’t be sorry. He is not boring or predictable. He is just not all over the place. But that doesn’t mean a bit of ‘badness’ is hidden underneath the ‘good’ exterior. That doesn’t mean he is not as fun and adventurous as a bad boy.