5 grandes diferencias entre el amor romántico y el amor de apego
Para la mayoría de la gente, el apego es algo que se debe evitar, ya que lo relacionan con estilos de apego poco saludables que muchos de nosotros tendemos a tener.
However, what they don’t know is what true, healthy attachment is all about.
So, what exactly are the crucial differences between a “regular” type of romantic love and an “attachment” kind of love?
How can you recognize whether you’re experiencing one or another?
Siga leyendo y descúbralo.
Temporal frente a permanente
La primera gran diferencia entre los tipos de amor romántico y de apego es su duración.
Verás, el amor romántico es un solución temporal—it gives you what you think you need in a given moment.
Te ayuda a sanar, a llenar los agujeros de tu corazón. Te ayuda a crecer y suele estar relacionado con una determinada etapa de tu vida. Suena increíble, ¿verdad?
Pues bien, el amor de apego es aún mejor porque es completamente independiente del lugar en el que se encuentre tu vida en este momento.
It doesn’t have anything to do with your surroundings, education, career or age simply because it never stops.
I’m not saying that romantic love necessarily has to be short-lasting. However, in comparison to a lifetime, it can be classified as temporary, while attachment love is permanent.
Un amor de apego tiene más probabilidades de acabar en matrimonio y familia, mientras que los romances suelen terminar antes de convertirse en algo más grande.
Don’t get me wrong: this doesn’t mean that the type of relationships based on attachment love can’t be broken.
Sin embargo, aunque ocurra algo así, lo cierto es que siempre guardan un lugar especial en tu memoria.
Anhelar frente a tener
You know how you meet a guy and go crazy for him until you get him? How you’re ready to do whatever it takes just to get under his skin and make him completely yours?
However, some time after you reach your goal, your emotions slowly start to fade away. You got what you wanted, and you’re not so head over heels for him anymore.
In fact, he stops being so appealing and interesting to you. After all, you’re certain he isn’t going anywhere, and there is no more need for you to fight for his attention and emotions anymore.
Si esto le resulta familiar, es una clara señal de que ha estado experimentando un tipo de amor romántico.
It is actually based on your ego which can’t stand not getting what it wants, and the moment this certain person becomes yours, your feelings start to get colder.
Por lo tanto, lo que tenemos aquí es un ejemplo típico de anhelo y ansia. Por otro lado, el amor de apego está representado por el tener.
You feel the same way about your partner when he’s around you and when he is far away.
You enjoy his presence, and you never get bored of him just because you see that he’s fallen for you hard.
Pasión frente a compatibilidad
Otra diferencia importante entre estos dos tipos de amor es la razón por la que comienzan en primer lugar.
Dicen que los sentimientos románticos son en realidad el resultado de reacciones químicas en el cerebro y se producen debido al impacto de ciertas hormonas que hacen que te sientas atraído por esa persona especial.
Por lo tanto, todo esto junto da como resultado amor apasionado. You don’t have to like your partner’s personality traits.
You don’t have to agree with him on important life matters, and you two don’t have to get along to get involved in a romantic kind of love.
Os sentís atraídos el uno por el otro como imanes sin ninguna razón especial.
Comparten una pasión increíble y una fuerte química que les impide a ambos pensar con claridad.
While I’m not saying that physical attraction and sex are uinmportant in an attachment kind of love, they’re definetely not its essential components.
In fact, attachment love’s major foundation is compatibility.
This doesn’t mean that you and your significant other have to be the same person or that you have to agree on literally everything.
Sin embargo, es necesario tener actitudes similares y querer las mismas cosas de la vida.
When you’re compatible with someone, your characters match. The other person feels like your missing part of the puzzle, and it is someone you can see yourself growing old next to.
Emoción frente a paz
En ciertos periodos de nuestras vidas, a todos se nos antojan las mariposas y los fuegos artificiales.
And you’re no exception: the last thing you would ever settle for is a boring relationship which doesn’t cause a rollercoaster of emotions in your heart and entire body.
You want to be with someone you’re incredibly attracted to, someone you can’t live without, and someone who gives you thrills just by looking at you.
Well, if this is the case, you’re dealing with a romantic kind of love.
I won’t lie to you: this love makes you feel alive more than anything. It makes you enjoy every breath you take, and it awakens all possible emotions within you.
Sin embargo, cuando te haces un poco mayor, ves que hay una gran diferencia entre amar a alguien y estar enamorado con esa persona.
And this excitement we’re talking about is a sign you’re feeling the latter.
On the contrary, when you’re experiencing an attachment love, you’re overwhelmed with peace.
No, tu estar tranquilo next to your partner doesn’t mean that your relationship is stuck in a rut: it means you’ve managed to find the real deal.
En el amor romántico, tu pareja es tu amante, y en el apego, también es tu mejor amigo.
He is not just the person who turns you on and someone you’re in a relationship with: he is your confidant, the first person you go to when you need advice or are going through hard times, someone you trust the most, and someone who understands you better than anyone else.
En el amor romántico, los dos sois compañeros románticos y nada más. En el amor de apego, por el contrario, sois compañeros de vida.
Común frente a raro
The final difference between these two types of love lies in their frequency. You’ll probably have more than one romantic kind of love in your life, making it a quite common experience.
Sin embargo, es menos probable que se produzca el apego.
De hecho, puedes considerarte afortunado si te golpea aunque sólo sea una vez, porque muchas personas se pasan la vida sin llegar a vivir algo tan fuerte como esto.
