6 cosas que los chicos te dicen sólo para meterse en tus pantalones
La mayoría de los hombres dicen cualquier cosa con tal de llevarte a la cama. Por lo general, lo que dicen es desternillante, si entiendes lo que quieren decir.
Algunos de ellos dicen estas cosas porque realmente les gustas y están siendo honestos, pero la mayoría de ellos vienen con un montón de mierda sólo para echar un polvo. (Sorpresa, sorpresa)
There are women who can read between the lines and who can see right through those sweet words and smooth actions. These women would be like: “Cut the crap and move along…”
But, some women fall for those men’s sneaky, ‘almost perfect’, BS techniques, and who can blame them? It has happened to us all, at least once.
Seriously, there are plenty of women who just want to have fun (read: have sex), but nooooo, for guys, ‘forbidden fruit’ is the sweetest
En otras palabras, hay tíos a los que les excita intentar acostarse con mujeres serias que estén dispuestas a sentar la cabeza, que estén dispuestas a comprometerse a largo plazo.
Guys: Is that your fetish—to sleep with them and dump them? ¡PARA, en serio, para!
There are plenty of horny, ‘just-wanna-have-fun’ fish in the sea. Pick one and let the games begin.
Y, en cuanto a ustedes, señoras, que se enamoran de estos hombres y se arrepienten después, sigan leyendo para ver hasta dónde están dispuestos a llegar los hombres sólo para ¡meterte en la cama!
1. Te prometen compromiso
Ha! That’s a good one!
Guy: “Babe, I like you so much, I wanna be with you…but not right now, ok babe? Don’t worry, soon we’re gonna be together…”
What a load of BS! The next thing you know, you are putting out because you think you love this guy. He is your future everything. And once the ‘thing’ is done, he disappears from the face of the earth!
You will sooner discover Atlantis than the place where he’s hiding.
2. Están de acuerdo con todo lo que dices
Pruebe esto alguna vez. Diles mentiras notorias e increíbles. Diles mentiras que son tan obvias. Intenta no partirte de risa mientras lo haces.
A ti: “Hey, you know my dad went to space?”
A él: “Woooow, do you have any photos?” (Read: invite me over, I don’t care that you’re lying)
A ti: #eyeroll #sigh
¿Tengo que ir más lejos? Creo que lo has entendido todo.
Douchebag ALERTA
3. They know how to use ‘I love you’
You all know the scenario. You go out, you’re wearing a smoking hot dress, his jaw drops when he sees you.
Toda la cita está cargada de energía sexual, con referencias sexuales que salen disparadas de los dos como fuegos artificiales.
You go to his place, horny as hell. You let him get to ‘first base’ you but he is hoping for the Home Run.
Just when you say ‘wait’, there he goes with putting on a mask of the sweetest and most caring guy you’ve ever met.
The next thing you hear is whispering in your ear – I LOVE YOU… Yeah right! Snap out of it, don’t be stupid!
4. Alcohol is their ‘best friend’
It’s not their intention to get you hammered because, let’s face it, what good are you to them in that stage of drunkenness?
His plan is to get you tipsy—just a few drinks to make you feel as though you may ‘tip’ over … right into his bed.
It will get your inhibitions down and his confidence up. If you see his intentions aren’t honorable (usually, they aren’t), quit while you can.
5. Te están engatusando
A él: “Babe, you make me feel like I’ve never felt before…” #cutthecrap
We all know that in most cases (especially when you have just started seeing each other) this means only one thing—Quiero echar un polvo.
Don’t let them convince you they get weak in the knees when they see you because this usually happens only when sexual pleasure is involved—big applause to the ones who are an exception to the rule (if there are any).
Don’t forget, you have to take into consideration the timing when they tell you they have never felt like that before.
If it’s in the middle of the action, on the border between the first and second bases, come on! Get your head out of the sand!
6. Complementan tu cuerpo
Tienes delante a un tío muy cachondo que te dice que tienes un cuerpo estupendo. CONTROL DE LA REALIDAD—he is eager to get some and he doesn’t care what you look like. He only cares about the functionality of your ‘lady parts’. #truthslap
Estas son sus normas:
#1 boobs—checked
#2 ass—checked
#3 face doesn’t make me want to throw up—checked
Result—compliment
Women, girls, ladies…Don’t let men bullshit you—you are better than that!
