6 maneras infalibles de enfrentarse al ghosting

You know how the story goes – you meet a guy, he’s wonderful. You think that you’ve found the one because you click instantly. Your interests are the same, he acts normal, he does not look like a total douche.

You go on a couple of dates and finally, you sleep with him. Now, this would be a perfectly normal story with a happy ending if it weren’t for this last activity or better said the lack of one.

After he sleeps with you, you begin to hear less and less from him. In time, your phone doesn’t ring as much, you never get to see him. You begin to feel invisible and the truth is, in his eyes you are invisible.

You’re being ghosted for the simplest reason ever. He took what he needed from you and he rejected you.

Sería muy fácil mantener la calma en estas situaciones e ignorarlas, pero las emociones nunca son fáciles de manejar.

Your brain is telling you what you should do, the right thing to do and that is to let go and move on, but your heart is still stuck on him because you’re not an emotionless robot who can move on from one person to another with no strings attached.

Well, this is the harsh reality of modern dating and it’s called ghosting. A guy hooks up with you and then he just disappears with no explanations whatsoever, like nothing ever happened between you two.

What to do in those situations? How to act when you’re being ghosted?

1. Aceptar el dolor

You didn’t even have to care about the person who ghosted you, but your feelings were hurt. You thought that something is going to evolve from your relationship. But instead, you were humiliated and played.

Seguramente se lo contaste todo a tus amigas porque estabas entusiasmada con tu nueva relación y, al cabo de un tiempo, no pasó nada. Desapareció y te abandonó.

You felt exposed and hurt. Embrace that pain, accept it because it’s real. You can easily get over him, but you can’t get over the pain in a jiff.

2. Cortar cualquier comunicación

Don’t fall into the trap most women do. Don’t text him or try to call him. If he doesn’t text you back after the first text, he isn’t interested in you anymore. Don’t make a fool out of yourself because you still have feelings for him.

You’re only going to embarrass yourself and the pain and humiliation will be even worse. Cut off all communication. Don’t stalk him on social media just to see what he is up to. You’re only going to make it more difficult for yourself to get over being ghosted.

Relacionado: Ghosting después de la primera cita: Por qué ocurre y cómo afrontarlo

3. Don’t take it personally

The fact you were ghosted says nothing about you. It’s not your fault and don’t look at it that way. You did nothing wrong and the silence you’re getting is just a reflection of the person doing that to you.

Así que en lugar de culparte a ti misma y pensar por qué te ha dejado plantada.

Piensa en el ghosting e intenta analizar qué ha pasado y cómo ha sucedido para saber qué no debes hacer la próxima vez.

Toma esta dolorosa experiencia y utilízala para el futuro, por tu propio bien.

4. Sé amable contigo mismo

You’re experiencing pain and pain has to be horrible. You have to feel crapy, but don’t let it get you down. The reason you feel that way is only the proof that you’re human. It proves that you are able to feel and hear all the emotions running through you.

The reason you feel this way is because you care and you’re capable of love. Too bad that this time, you’ve stumbled upon the wrong man to love. There are plenty of men out there ready to commit, ready to love.

Don’t be hard on yourself because it’s not your fault es un imbécil inmaduro.

5. Respétate a ti mismo y sigue adelante

What is gone, you cannot miss. He could have done things differently. He could have left in a respectful manner with an explanation, but he didn’t. He chose to leave without saying a word, he chose to hurt you.

That’s it, the story’s done. You don’t need any explanation for why things happened the way they did. What you do need to do right now is to move on. Respect yourself enough to find the strength to forget he ever existed.

Eres digna de un hombre que te ame y te respete. Mereces un hombre que nunca sería tan cobarde para hacer algo tan irrespetuoso como lo hizo.

6. Volver a salir

You’re thinking that you’re done with dating. You’re thinking that you don’t want to go through this ever again. I don’t blame you for that. But things are not as bad as they seem.

At least now you can recognize a ghoster. You’ve gone through that behavior pattern and it’s not likely someone will do the same thing again. So, get back out there and date.

This experience has made you even stronger and smarter. All the bad things that happen you should be a lesson. It is a mistake that you’re never going to do again.

Don’t let the possibility of getting ghosted prevent you from creating a new and meaningful relationship. If you keep living in fear of getting hurt again, you’re never going to let yourself be happy.