¿Esposa loca? 8 maneras eficaces de tratarla con éxito

There’s no point beating around the bush here. If you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re dealing with what you would call a crazy wife. And I can totally get that.

I’ve had my fair share of crazy exes with insane mood swings and nagging behavior, who went from being a good guy to a narcissist in disguise in a really short amount of time.

Now, saying that you have a crazy wife carries a heavy load, so I’m guessing you’re currently struggling in your relationship and her loco behavior isn’t helping much… Am I getting warm?

Well, I can tell you one thing: you’re in the right place.

See, I’m a self-proclaimed expert for crazy exes and if I’ve been able to get through an extremely rough patch with my formerly crazy husband through a bunch of really effective steps, I guarantee you’ll find this helpful too!

It’s not embarrassing to admit that you’re struggling. You should never be ashamed of dealing with stuff you feel is weighing you down to the point of no return.

We’ve all had some challenging experiences with crazy exes (and current partners) but if this person is worth the fight, then you owe it to them and to your marital union to stick it out and not give up when the shit hits the fan.

You’re the only one who knows what exactly you’re dealing with, so it’s not my intention to judge.

I only hope that you’ll give it a fair chance before calling it quits because, after all, this crazy wife used to be so special to you.

Lo peor que puedes hacer es rendirte antes incluso de darle la oportunidad de convertirse en la mejor esposa usted conozca ¡puede serlo!

Give her the benefit of the doubt and hold her hand instead of calling her names. There’s a reason you took her hand in marriage.

Before getting into a detailed evaluation of your situation and explaining how to handle your crazy wife’s low self-esteem that led to her crazy outbursts, let me just say that couples counseling has been a saving grace for my partner and me.

Junto con muchos otros pasos necesarios, un consejero de parejas consiguió señalar la causa real de la locura y nos ayudó a profundizar y esforzarnos más.

There will be challenging times in your marriage, but hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?

Don’t back off your marriage before actually making an effort. She’ll be worth the challenge. A little understanding and positive feedback goes a long way!

Véase también: 7 señales de una esposa distante emocionalmente y por qué se volvió así

¿Por qué tengo una esposa loca?

It’s true that you don’t really know a person until you start living with them (been there, done that!). And it’s true.

Uno se hace una idea de quién es como persona, pero hasta que no se casa no llega a conocer todos los aspectos de su personalidad.

Now, you’re clearly wondering ¿Por qué de repente estoy tratando con un esposa loca? o ¿Por qué mi novia ¿Te has vuelto un psicópata? and I’m here to offer you answers.

See, women go through a fair amount of hormonal changes throughout their entire life (PMS, pregnancy hormones, menopause… you name it!) so we don’t have it easy at all from the get-go.

Y cuando todas esas molestas hormonas empiezan a perturbar la paz interior, la cosa puede ponerse muy fea, muy pronto.

Su esposa loca might simply be going through the changes or she’s struggling with something and trying to keep it all inside for the sake of your marriage.

Pero basta un pequeño detalle para que simplemente explote en el peor momento posible y te haga pensar que su salud mental se está deteriorando de verdad.

It’s not. She’s not suffering from any mental illnesses. She’s going through a LOT and she’s just trying to keep herself from falling apart (not knowing it’s all about to unravel in the ugliest ways…)

She’s trying to keep herself from shattering into pieces, and her nagging and psych-related issues are merely a reflection of how she’s feeling inside.

If you find yourself a target of her emotional outbursts, know that it most probably isn’t about a ti.

It’s about much deeper issues that have been plaguing her mind for quite some time and she hasn’t found a healthy way to deal with them, so she has turned into the crazy wife you never expected to deal with. And yet, here you are.

Puede que pienses: esposa loca – crazy life! But that’s not necessarily the case in my experience.

See, you’re in this thing forever (marriage, that is). Calling your wife crazy and deeming yourself Mr. Perfect will get you nowhere, as you’re pointing fingers here and clearing yourself of all blame.

But let me tell you something, mister. You’re half to blame for your wife’s issues.

Who’s the one too busy to text her back because he doesn’t have time for chit chat (as if you’re the only one with a job)?

Who’s the one who forgets about the ONE thing she specifically asked you to pick at the grocery store (which she needs in order to make YOU a delicious meal)?

Who’s the one who can go to bed and just doze off while three issues are hanging over your heads, while your wife is begging you to talk it through in order to sleep soundly?

Así que antes de empezar a llamar loca a tu mujer, empieza a notar un patrón de comportamiento que usted ayudó a instigar, y asume tu parte de culpa. Nadie decide simplemente causar estragos en tu vida. Especialmente tu mujer.

This is a woman who’s been trying so damn hard to make the entire life you’ve created together trabajo y evitar reventar por las costuras.

Instead of calling yourself a good guy for ”putting up with her,” roll up your sleeves and give her the attention she truly needs.

¿Quieres que vuelva a ser como antes? ¿Quieres evitar desesperadamente la terapia de pareja?

Entonces prepárate para escucharla de verdad para comprender y cuidarla como prometisteis en vuestros votos.

It’s time to roll up your sleeves and help her be the mejor esposa puede ser. Todo empieza por TI y así es como puedes hacer que funcione.

Véase también: 8 problemas de las relaciones a distancia (y cómo hacer que funcionen)

Don’t call her crazy

Como probablemente pueda adivinar, llamarse loco doesn’t rub ANYONE the right way.

If you want to have the best wife ever, perhaps it’s time for some positive feedback instead of derogatory name-calling? Good luck getting anywhere if you keep naming names.

Llamarla tu esposa loca sólo la pone más nerviosa y así, nadie gana realmente.

Don’t allow her to develop mental health problems just because she’s expected to be okay with incessant putdowns. Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth.

Las palabras dejan heridas más profundas de lo que se cree.

The whole goal should be to pull your wife closer and to make her feel more appreciated and at ease. That’s how you’ll get to the bottom of what’s bothering her.

Calling your spouse crazy is counter-effective to what you’re trying to accomplish.

Words stay with her for a very long time, so change your attitude toward her and never call her a crazy person again. She’s your wife, not your annoying narcissist of a neighbor.

Seguir siendo el socio racional

In a marriage, it’s all about partnership. Arguments will break out, you’ll start bickering, and harsh words will be said.

It’s going to be really challenging trying to keep a cool head throughout the whole thing, but since you know you have a bit of a crazy wife, USTED van a tener que ser el socio racional aquí.

One of you needs to keep cool and defuse the situation when things get overly heated. In this instance, you’re going to have to put on your big-boy pants and step up.

Cuida de tu mujer como ella necesita que lo hagas.

Your responsibility as a husband is to try and find a resolution to issues when your wife is unable to. It’s perfectly normal that you both get frustrated and get short with each other.

But one of you has to be the adult here, and that’s you. Stop ranting and bitching about her to your friends. That’s a coward’s way out.

Talk to her instead – don’t leave the house and slam the door in her face. Stick around and show her that you CARE.

Giving up and leaving is all too easy, but that’s not what you signed up for when you married her.

Prometiste estar a su lado en los buenos momentos y malo, así que demuéstralo siendo la voz de la razón cuando lo único que quieres es dar un portazo.

Véase también: Las 18 mejores razones para ser feliz ahora mismo pase lo que pase

Recuérdate a ti mismo por qué te casaste con ella en primer lugar.

Cuando las cosas se pongan difíciles y el mundo te derribe, date un paseo por el carril de los recuerdos y recuérdate todas las razones por las que te enamoraste de ella.

Think back on your beginnings and every single thing she did that made you say ”Yup, she’s the one for me. That’s my girl!”

I find it the most effective method to deal with my relationship problems when I foolishly start thinking I’ve reached the end line.

I just start to reminisce about all the things that made me fall in love with my man in the first place…

La forma en que me conquistó a pesar de que me resistía a bajar la guardia. La forma en que su humor seco me hizo partirme de risa más de lo que quería permitirme.

The way he’d give me his hoodie when I was cold and tweet out the most cheesy (yet adorably sweet) things about me… Trust me, I could go on and on!

Bottom line – there are SO many reasons why you’re married to this woman. Calling her your crazy wife is completely undeserving.

She may be struggling right now, but there was a time when she was your rock and number one supporter. Don’t you think it’s time to return the favor?

Don’t be a bystander in your marriage

Una de las peores cosas que puedes hacer es desvanecerte en el fondo y bloquear mentalmente todos los problemas de tu matrimonio.

And that’s wrong on multiple levels. Firstly, it resolves nada y sólo hace que te distancies de tu mujer en el momento en que más te necesita.

And secondly, it’s hurtful to leave her hanging when you know she’d never leave your side.

Don’t just be a bystander in your own relationship. Take initiative and find ways to actively deal with your crazy wife.

There’s a reason why she’s always nagging at you and having jealous outbursts. You won’t find out what it is by observing from a safe distance and leaving her to her own devices.

Sé un hombre y ocúpate de tus problemas matrimoniales. Sé un marido y ayuda a tu mujer a encontrar de nuevo su camino.

Be a decent human being and don’t ignore a person during their most challenging times.

Watching your life pass you by will backfire at some point. Don’t waste these precious years by choosing to passively observe your wife’s journey toward oblivion.

Haz que espabile haciendo tu parte en este matrimonio.

Al fin y al cabo, es tu mujer. Se merece algo más que un marido que se niega a ensuciarse las manos y se desvanece en un segundo plano. Mantente en primera línea y lucha por tu mujer.

Véase también: Períodos de transición: 10 maneras de facilitar el proceso

Intentar encontrar la raíz del problema

¿Cuándo empezó a comportarse de forma inusual? ¿Cuándo empezaste a notar cambios en su comportamiento que empezaron a preocuparte?

I’m sure you didn’t siempre have a crazy wife. She must’ve been fine before and then something clicked and it all changed.

The most important thing is to figure out what’s bothering her and in what way you’ve contributed to this. Do you not text her enough, therefore leaving her worried about your whereabouts?

¿Tienes la costumbre de quedarte hasta altas horas de la noche sin hablar con ella?

¿La has descuidado por trabajo y te has olvidado por completo de tus planes de fin de semana en más de una ocasión? ¡Podrían ser todas estas cosas combinadas!

You’d be surprised how much those seemingly small things really matter to a woman.

Olvidarse de devolverle la llamada, perderse la cena de aniversario, descuidar el tiempo de calidad que pasáis juntos, todo contribuye a una unión conyugal infeliz y una esposa descuidada e infeliz que ha aguantado como ha podido.

And now, she can no longer stand constantly playing second fiddle to your work, friends, or whatever else, and she’s turned into someone she doesn’t want to be. 

Acepta tu papel en esto y arregla lo que haya que arreglar.

Comparta sus sentimientos sin contenerse

¿Quieres saber lo que las mujeres REALMENTE adoran en un hombre? La capacidad de ser abierto y honesto sobre sus sentimientos sin dejar que toda esa basura machista les impida ser genuinos.

¿Eres capaz de compartir tus sentimientos con tu mujer?

When was the last time you had an open conversation where you let it all out without holding anything back? I know it’s hard to open up, but this is your esposa, not some stranger. You’re safe with her!

Being transparent and genuine lets you share even the things you wouldn’t normally be comfortable sharing, and that’s what helps you resolve issues without using harsh words.

Dile cómo te hace sentir su comportamiento y demuéstrale que quieres entender de dónde viene.

Don’t use accusatory tone but rather be calm and collected while conveying your thoughts in a manner that will show her that her behavior is affecting your marriage negatively.

If you meet her halfway, I assure you she’ll accept your olive branch and deal with this better.

Sólo necesita sentirse vista y escuchada por ti. A veces, todo lo que una chica necesita es un pequeño comentario positivo.

Véase también: Por qué el cambio es necesario para el desarrollo y el crecimiento personal

Escuchar para comprender (no para tomar represalias)

Dealing with a crazy wife isn’t easy, so I don’t expect you to always be able to keep it together and never lash out.

But even though it’s normal to lose your cool every now and again, try to really listen to your wife in a way where you’re focused on what she’s trying to tell you and no de forma que esperes tu turno para tomar represalias.

Picking fights is easy, but understanding the root of them is difficult. Next time she’s being irrational, try to truly hear her out.

If she’s yelling about you always staying suspiciously long at work, let her know that you’ll do your best to come home in time for dinner with her, and actually do it!

Whatever she’s going off about, HEAR it and try to accommodate her needs. Is she really being crazy or is she simply asking you to consider her feelings but not putting it in the best way?

Once you stop retaliating and start hearing what she’s trying to tell you, your marriage will start thriving, because people often forget that communication is key.

Establecer algunas reglas básicas

Now that you’ve finally started listening to your wife as opposed to blocking her out and refusing to take your part of the blame, you finally have a shot at making this work.

Ahora es el momento de establecer unas reglas básicas que impidan a cualquiera de los dos arremeter en momentos de dificultad y, en su lugar, recurrir a una solución mejor.

Ten una conversación sobre esto con tu mujer y decidid cuáles deben ser esas normas y su objetivo final.

I’m presuming that your end goal is to stop having a crazy wife by helping her get better, and her end goal is to finally feel heard and understood. Both are reasonable and attainable.

So now would be the time to practice what you preach. If you’re all about weeding out the negativity and embracing healthy coping tactics, then, by all means, implement them in your daily life.

This goes for both of you. When she starts feeling the urge to yell or accuse you of something, she should be reminded to dial it down and respect the boundaries you’ve set, and the same goes for you.

Deje que sus nuevas limitaciones le ayuden a abandonar hábitos tóxicos y le conviertan en un ser humano mejor, más sano y más feliz.

Véase también: ¿Sexo con amigos? Los 10 mayores secretos que nadie te contará

Reflexiones finales

Hopefully, this article has provided you with some much-needed answers and an insight into the female brain that can cause her to act in a way detrimental to everyone’s well-being.

Puede que pensaras que tenías una esposa loca, pero la realidad es que ¡hacen falta dos para bailar un tango!

Las cosas que hacen que ella actúe como una loca suelen ser las cosas con las que tú también tienes algo que ver.

You can’t expect to have the best wife on the planet without doing your part to make her feel the way she deserves.

Y ahora, ya ves lo que quiero decir. Hablar con ella en lugar de esquivarla es el camino a seguir.

Finding the middle ground and embracing your part of the guilt is one step closer toward a resolution. And step it up when she can’t, because marriage is a partnership.

Both partners aren’t always going to be able to give it their all, so step up your game when your wife is struggling.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, because once she’s better, she’ll never forget what you’ve done for her.

You can’t always expect it to be smooth sailing, but with a little bit of effort, you can get pretty darn close!