Ha dejado de escribirme - ¿Qué significa y qué hacer?
Dejó de mandarme mensajes! A sentence so simple but yet so painful. A sentence that carries so many lost hopes and dreams. Every girl’s worst nightmare.
Ya sabes cómo va.
Llevas un tiempo saliendo con un chico y enviándole mensajes. Él responde, tú le sigues y parece que todo va sobre ruedas.
Entonces, de repente, todo se detiene. Anoche, intercambiaste lindos textos de buenas noches but the next day, he simply didn’t respond to your good morning message.
Sigues mirando la pantalla de tu teléfono, esperando a que aparezca su número. Pero no pasa nada.
Pasan unos días y nada. Al cabo de dos semanas o un mes, no te queda más remedio que admitir que te ha dejado plantada.
You’ll survive- you know that. But it’s perfectly natural for you to wonder why he did this.
Hablas con tu mejor amigo, rebobinas toda la conversación una y otra vez, pero la respuesta no aparece por ninguna parte.
Well, that’s because you haven’t run into me before. I won’t just tell you why he stopped texting you all of a sudden- I’ll also give you some dating advice on how to react when this happens.
Not only that: you’ll also learn how to notice all the red flags that a guy might ghost you, so you can run for your life on time. All you have to do is lay back and read on!
¿Qué significa que un chico deje de enviar mensajes de texto?
I’ll be 100% honest with you here: when a guy stops texting you, it usually means he doesn’t care about you. Or at least, he doesn’t care as much as you do. But that’s not the only possible reason for his change of behavior.
Maybe he is insecure or has been too busy lately. Maybe you two don’t want the same things or he is playing games.
The possibilities are endless. That’s why I’m bringing you the list of reasons behind this drop-off, explained in detail.
Está ocupado
Let’s not jump to conclusions and assume the worst-case scenario right away. I know how most women think: He stopped texting me so it must mean he’s no me interesa más.
I’ll be honest with you- this is a possibility, as well. But it’s not the only option.
For starters, why wouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he isn’t trying to ghost you or anything like that- maybe he just doesn’t have the time to text you.
I know what you must think right now: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.” But please, keep in mind that the two of you are probably just at the beginning of your romance.
It means that he wants to give you his full attention whenever he’s talking to you. He prefers not to text you at all over iniciar una conversación y luego enviarte respuestas de una sola palabra.
Si este es el caso, deberías alegrarte de tener a este tipo de hombre de todo o nada.
Maybe he stopped texting you because he is super busy at work and he can’t take a break to talk to you.
You don’t need to panic right away but wait until the evening and then see what happens.
If he doesn’t reply after he has got home then you can text him to see what is happening.
I am sure he will have a reason good enough for not contacting you. Instead of asking him what he’s been up to, give him time to tell you where he’s been on his own.
This way, you won’t get perceived as too pushy. On the upside, he’ll think that you weren’t worried about él fantasmearte. It will show him that you don’t need him.
And if he already showed you that he likes you, you don’t have anything to worry about.
¿Te está mintiendo?
La pregunta definitiva: ¿cómo saber si he’s lying to you? He’ll come back into your life- there is no doubt about that.
And he’ll tell you he’s been busy. But how do you know if he’s being honest or just using this as an excuse?
The best way to get to the bottom of things is to check his social media activity. If a guy doesn’t have time to text you, he won’t have time to like other girls’ photos or to post a bunch of stories either.
On the other hand, if he’s been active on his social media accounts- he hasn’t been busy- he just chose not to text you.
Piensa que eres insistente
Some women can be very pushy, especially at the beginning of a relationship. And some guys really don’t like it.
Look, I don’t judge you for this behavior. Actually, I understand you perfectly.
Te gusta un chico. Te gusta mucho. Y parece que le gustas de vuelta.
The first impulse you have is to keep him by your side forever. You don’t plan on letting this one get away.
Efecto contraproducente
Además, vuelves a sentir esas mariposas olvidadas hace tiempo. Naturalmente, quieres pasar cada segundo de tu tiempo libre junto a la persona que te hace sentir así de increíble.
Of course, that’s utterly impossible since you both have your jobs, friends, hobbies.. you have separate lives.
¿Qué haces cuando le echas de menos? (Y para ser honesta, lo echas de menos todo el tiempo)
Bueno, envíale un mensaje de texto. What do you do if you don’t get the text back?
Sigues enviándole mensajes, sin tener en cuenta quién envió el último mensaje.
I hate to break your bubble but he won’t find this cute. This type of behavior won’t make him fall in love with you more.
On the contrary, all of your texts will probably suffocate him. You’ll just chase him away with this comportamiento apegado.
So, whatever you do, don’t smother him with texts. Let him make the first move.
Es él quien debe esforzarse si quiere conquistarte. Hazte la dura durante un tiempo y si ves que es un buen chico, entonces dale una oportunidad.
And yes, ‘smother’ him in person, I bet he will prefer that more.
Dijiste algo que le ofendió
Most girls who think: “He stopped texting me out of nowhere” refuse to analyze the entire situation objectively.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you are to blame for the way this guy te fantasmeó but hey, it’s possible for you to carry a part of the responsibility.
Puede que hayas dicho algo que no está nada mal pero que ha ofendido a tu chico y ahora sólo necesita algo de tiempo para pensárselo.
There are things that men and women don’t understand in the same way so don’t be too harsh on him.
Dale un poco de tiempo y se pondrá en contacto contigo. Y cuando le conozcas mejor, sabrás qué cosas le gustan y cuáles pueden cabrearle.
Discúlpate y déjale en paz
Para empezar, intente repetir las conversaciones en su cabeza. Empieza por vuestra primera cita y sigue hasta este mismo momento.
¿Cuándo cambió? ¿Ocurrió algo fuera de lo normal antes de que desapareciera?
Olvídate de tus impresiones e intenta ver las cosas desde su perspectiva. A lo mejor solo estabas bromeando sobre algo tonto y aparentemente sin importancia, pero él se lo tomó en serio.
Intenta averiguar si su tono de voz o su lenguaje corporal cambiaron en algún momento. ¿Fue todo cuesta abajo a partir de ahí?
Once you understand what you said or did wrong, apologize. Don’t push him too hard and don’t write any essay-long texts.
Just say that you’ve realized your mistake and that you’re sorry. If he doesn’t respond, stop texting him.
Give him some time to process things. Trust me- he’ll get back to you.
Siempre eres el primero que se pone en contacto con él
Entiendo que te guste ese chico y que te gustaría hablar con él sin parar. Pero frena un momento y piensa como un chico.
Si ve que siempre eres la primera en enviarle un mensaje de texto, se podría perder interés en ti.
Así que espera a que te mande un mensaje primero y demuéstrale que tienes una buena vida aunque él no esté.
Don’t let him see you are depressed when he is not around but behave totally normal, no matter how much you like him.
One of the common reasons why guys don’t text girls is actually pretty simple: they don’t have to.
Even if you don’t get a phone call or a text message from him for days, you’ll always be the first one to reach out.
Sadly, he’s gotten used to you doing all the work. I know this is the last thing you had on mind but somewhere along the way, you gave him a sign that he doesn’t have to put any effort around you.
It doesn’t matter whether he texts you or not- you’ll behave the same. You’re just being demasiado disponible.
You’ll be the one initiating conversation, you’ll ask to see him face to face and you’ll keep this relationship alive, even if he doesn’t move an inch.
So, what inspires him to put in an effort? Nothing- that’s right. So, don’t text him and he will text you seguro.
Darte por sentado
Whether you’d like to admit this or not, the bitter truth is that this el tipo te da por sentada. He assumes that you’ll always be there, even if he doesn’t do anything to keep you around.
Why wouldn’t you do something about that? For a change, stop texting him so often.
I know what you must be thinking now: “He stopped texting me, I must send him a message before he forgets all about me.”
Wrong! Actually, that’s the worst thing you might do at this point.
En lugar de eso, analiza tu comportamiento. Repasa vuestras conversaciones y mira quién envió más mensajes y quién fue el que inició las conversaciones.
Yo ya sé la respuesta, pero se trata de que tú la descubras.
He doesn’t want the same thing as you do
El sexo opuesto no siempre es tan fácil de entender. Ya sabes lo que dicen: los hombres son de Marte, las mujeres de Venus.
A veces, un tipo te envía todas las señales de que quiere etiquetar vuestra relación y hacer las cosas oficiales. Parece que te ve como material de novia y ahora esperas que lleve vuestra relación al siguiente nivel cada día.
¿Pero qué pasó en su lugar? Te dejó como si nunca le hubieras importado.
Podría ser su forma de decirte que has malinterpretado las cosas. No está buscando una relación y, por tanto, no hay necesidad de que habléis todo el tiempo.
This is not the guy who’ll be sending you good morning and good night texts. Instead, he’ll probably text you the next time you cross his mind or when he gets bored.
(Puede que tú quieras algo serio y, en cambio, él sólo quiera algo informal.
Esa puede ser la razón por la que deje de mandarte mensajes aunque las cosas estuvieran bien entre vosotros) izbrisati
Si nada cambia y ves que eres el único que lo intenta, siéntate y habla con él abiertamente.
It is okay if the two of you have different expectations but it would be nice for him to admit that to you. You surely don’t deserve someone who will string you along and hacer el ridículo.
Usted es sólo su botín llamada
Guys can be very sneaky and make you believe they really care about you when they’re actually solo intento meterme en tus pantalones.
It’s not like he can tell you that he isn’t interested in anything besides sleeping with you. Well, technically he can but if he sees that you’re catching feelings, it’s easier to pretend he cares about you as well.
Por lo tanto, si sólo te envía mensajes de texto a altas horas de la noche y todos sus mensajes tienen un contexto sexual, entonces debes saber que sólo eres su botín.
A lo mejor está enviando mensajes a otras chicas al mismo tiempo y se limita a esperar las respuestas de todas vosotras.
You shouldn’t put up with a guy like that, not even for a second, so tell him to back off and live your life in peace. Bear in mind that it is better to be alone than in bad company.
Compartiste demasiada información personal con él
Once again, let’s not forget that in most cases, men think differently than women.
Let’s take this as an example. You meet a guy who tells you a lot about himself from the very start.
How do you react? Well, you’re probably delighted. You’re happy you’ve finally found a man who doesn’t have some imaginary walls built around his heart.
You’ve run into a guy who is open about his past and who has no trouble letting you in.
Sin embargo, cuando se da la situación contraria, cuando un hombre conoce a una mujer que se abre enseguida, lo considera un exceso de comunicación.
If you told him your life story and you don’t know him well, chances are that he might be scared and that is the main reason he doesn’t text you atrás.
That’s why you should never share anything important with a guy until you get to know him better.
Un chico se acobarda cuando una mujer que le gusta se abre a él porque piensa que ella quiere casarse inmediatamente. Sé que piensan de una manera extraña, pero así es como son.
Ya tiene pareja
¿Estás segura de que está soltero? ¿Es posible que haya dejado de enviarte mensajes porque su mujer o su novia han vuelto de un viaje de negocios o simplemente están más tiempo juntos?
You see, there are men who won’t commit actual adultery. But they don’t mind having an aventura emocional y creen que enviar mensajes de texto es inofensivo.
They’re married or in a relationship but that doesn’t stop them from being active on online dating sites. These men will call you on FaceTime but won’t ask to see you face to face in real life.
Instead, they’ll probably ask for your pics or engage in some sexting. Of course, they will only text you when their SO is not around.
Sin embargo, en cuanto las cosas empiecen a ponerse un poco más serias, probablemente desaparecerán.
If you suspect this has happened to you, try looking for this man’s other profiles on social media. Here is a pro tip: use someone else’s profile to look for him because he probably blocked you.
I’m sure you’ll find traces of his real life if you dig deep enough.
Te usa para aumentar su ego
It hurts but it is true—some guys will text you only to see if you will fall for them. And when that happens, they will totally play the ghost.
They will pretend that you don’t exist or they will figure out that you want a relationship with them.
Tipos como ese son unos verdaderos idiotas pero lo harán con muchas mujeres sólo para subir el ego.
It is like a drug for them and they can’t control their behavior.
He doesn’t want to be too pushy
They hate to admit this but men get insecure as well. If you’re dealing with a chico tímido, he might stop texting you just because he’s afraid he’s being too pushy.
This is especially true if he’s been the one initiating most of your communication until now. He is giving you space to contact him because he doesn’t want to appear too needy.
This is actually a good thing because it’s a clear sign he’s creciendo algunos sentimientos fuertes para ti.
Se asustó
When you’re dealing with an emotionally unavailable guy who’s catching feelings for the first time in his life, it’s likely that he’ll chicken out. These emotions are something he doesn’t know how to handle and that’s why he’s hiding them.
On one hand, he’s perfectly aware he’s crazy about you. But at the same time, he’s scared of heartbreak.
He is terrified that you might leave him so he decides to do it first. He has the urge to escape this situation and that’s exactly what he does.
Of course, he doesn’t have the courage to tell you that he wants out. He knows that he would change his mind if he talked to you so instead, he decides to disappear from your life.
He’s just not that into you
You can be the prettiest, the funniest, and the smartest girl in the world. You can be girlfriend material and you can do everything by the book but even then, there will be men who won’t like you.
To be exact, there will be men who won’t like you enough to put some effort around you.
And that’s okay- we’re all human beings with our personal preferences. A guy doesn’t have to have a reason for not liking you enough.
Sin embargo, debería tener la decencia de decírtelo. Un buen tipo te dejaría seguir adelante en lugar de mantenerte en espera.
He’s in a new relationship
If you two have been texting for a while but nothing real has happened, it’s possible that he found another girl in the meantime. He can be in a new relationship or he might just meet someone he liked more than you so he lost interest in texting you that much.
This shouldn’t ruin your self-esteem. Please, don’t compárate con esta chica nueva.
Acepta que no estáis hechos el uno para el otro y sigue adelante.
Sí, debería haber tenido el valor de decírtelo directamente en lugar de desaparecer. Pero oye, confía en mí... esquivaste una bala aquí. You don’t need this coward in your life!
Está jugando
Finally, it’s possible that this is all a part of his game. You’re dealing with a hombre tóxico que disfruta jugando contigo.
I’m not saying he doesn’t have feelings for you. But he wants you to fall in love with him even more and that’s why he’s using this hot and cold technique.
This is nothing but a game of power. He stops texting you for a couple of days just to see if you’ll fall into his trap and go crazier for him.
If you do this, you’re the loser. He sees that he’ll have you, no matter what he does.
In fact, the more he ignores you, the more you’ll love him.
Este es obviamente un niño inmaduro que deliberadamente te envía señales contradictorias. I don’t even have to tell you that you don’t need him around and that you’re better off without him.
El camino hacia ganarle en su propio juego is to give him a taste of his own medicine. I promise you that he’ll contact you in no time. Well, that’s when you should give him a cold shower.
Show him that you’re not his toy and wish him good luck playing by himself.
Ha dejado de escribirme, ¿qué debo hacer?
Now that you’ve found out all the possible reasons for this guy’s disappearance, you’re probably wondering what you should do about it.
¿Deberías enviarle un mensaje? ¿O ignorarlo es mejor idea?
Just follow this step-by-step guide and I assure you that you’ll make all the right moves.
Don’t keep on texting him
I know that you have the urge to contact him. If it were up to you, you would double or triple text him. You want answers so you’re ready to write him an essay long text, asking for an explanation.
Sería el peor error que podría cometer. Resiste a ese impulso cuanto antes.
I don’t care how you’ll do it but you MUST do it, this way or another. Put your phone down, give it to your best friend or keep yourself busy- whatever it takes.
If it’s necessary, picture him laughing at how pathetic you are every time you think about sending him a message. Picture him bloquear su número de teléfono because you’re too annoying.
I’m not saying that this will happen- I just want you to use this scenario as a distraction from contacting him in any way.
Don’t blame yourself
El siguiente paso es deshacerse de la culpa. Aunque hayas hecho algo para ahuyentarlo, el ghosting nunca es la solución.
Él es el único culpable de esta situación. No importa lo que haya pasado, debería haber tenido el valor de hablar contigo y poner fin a las cosas como un hombre de verdad.
Así que, por favor, deja de intentar justificar su comportamiento inmaduro. ¡No hay excusa para este acto cobarde!
Dale un poco de espacio
Not texting your man won’t be enough. Instead, you should ir sin contacto completamente. Dale un poco de espacio y oportunidad de extrañarte.
It would be great if you could downsize your social media activity. Let him wonder where you are and what you’ve been up to.
Don’t talk to your mutual friends about him. Don’t ask them if they’ve heard from him.
Don’t show up at places where you could run into him. Disappear from his life the same way he disappeared from your inbox!
Céntrate en tu vida
Lo más importante aquí es ponte en primer lugar. En vez de pasarte el día llorando por ese imbécil, empieza a trabajar en ti mismo.
I know that this isn’t easy but please, do your best to stop thinking about him.
Intenta charlar con otros chicos, busca una forma de mantenerte ocupada, sal con tus amigos, empieza a ver una nueva serie de televisión; haz lo que sea para no pensar en él.
In the meantime, make yourself happy. Trust me- he’ll reappear the moment you forget about him.
Acércate
After a while, it’s safe to reach out to him. Enough time has passed and you won’t look desperate for contacting him now.
But don’t sound too needy. Don’t tell him that you miss him and avoid huge romantic love declarations.
Just ask him what’s up or send him something that reminded you of him. If aún le sigues en Instagram, just reply to his story- that’s always a safe way to make the first move.
Wait and see how he’ll react. Will he keep the conversation going? Follow his lead and don’t push things too hard.
Pídale explicaciones
If you’re still so eager to get an explanation, just ask him. Don’t talk about your heartbreak and don’t act like him ghosting you was the end of the world.
Intenta sonar lo más informal posible. Dígale de entrada que se pregunta por qué desapareció así la última vez. Pregúntale si todo va bien.
Pero, por favor, don’t let him play you for a fool. Make it clear that you’re not buying his lies and that you want the truth.
Seguir adelante
Now that you’ve got your closure (or at least, intentó conseguirlo), it’s time to move on with your life. You know you did your best and it’s clear that a man like him doesn’t deserve you.
I know it’s not easy. You have feelings for him and you just want things to go back to the way they used to be.
But hey, do you really want to live in fear, constantly expecting something like this to happen again? That’s what I thought.
En lugar de invertir tiempo en este imbécil, redirige esa energía y haz todo lo posible por superarlo.
He Didn’t Text Me Today
When you’re crazy in love, it’s enough for a guy not to text you for a couple of hours for you to think of the worst. I can just imagine the drama going on inside your head if he hasn’t texted you an entire day.
You can’t eat, work or do anything else and all you do is stare at your phone screen. Sounds familiar? Well, I’ve got you covered- here is what it means and what you should do about it.
¿Qué significa?
A man not texting you one day doesn’t have to be a big deal. If you’ve just started dating, maybe he wants to give you some space or he’s just been busy.
On the other hand, if you’re in a serious relationship and you’re used to hearing from each other all the time- this can be a bandera roja.
¿Qué debo hacer?
If this is happening for the first time, text him first. Don’t start a fight and just initiate a conversation.
On the other hand, if he has a habit of not messaging you for an entire day, maybe it’s time for some serious talk- especially if you’re in a serious relationship.
Dile que don’t plan on chasing him y que su comportamiento es inaceptable. Lo más importante aquí es no hacer amenazas vacías.
Don’t tell him that you’ll leave him the next time he disappears if you’re not ready to actually do it.
Either way, the bottom line is that he has to take you seriously. Make sure he knows you’re not playing and that you won’t tolerate this any longer.
Dejó de mandarme mensajes después de acostarnos
Every girl’s worst nightmare: a guy no llamando o enviando mensajes después de acostarse con él. First of all, let me tell you that we’ve all been there and it’s not the end of the world (even though it seems that way now).
¿Volverá a mandarte un mensaje? ¿Sólo quería echar un polvo?
Did he pretend to be something he’s not just to get in your pants? Were all the cute little things he did for you just a way to your bedroom?
Here is where you’ll find all of your answers.
¿Qué significa?
Odio tener que decírtelo, pero en la mayoría de los casos, the guy didn’t text you because he considers this meaningless sex. He wants to make it clear that this is not a relationship and that he’s interested in anything besides hooking up from time to time.
Of course, he doesn’t have the courage to tell you this face to face, so he expects you to figure things out by yourself.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t have to be the only reason for his disappearance. Maybe he is self-conscious about his performance and he is too ashamed to talk to you.
¿Qué debo hacer?
I don’t care what century this is, you’re a lady and you should never contact the guy first after you spent the night together. Basically, there is nothing much you can do here except wait for his move.
But this doesn’t mean that you should take him back if he decides to reach out after two weeks or more. Give him a couple of days and if he doesn’t text you during that period- bloquea su número and forget that he’s ever been a part of your life.
Trust me- if he tries calling you after, it’s just another booty call.
Reflexiones finales
Sé lo que debes pensar ahora mismo: todo esto es mucho más fácil decirlo que hacerlo. Pues déjame que te cuente un pequeño secreto: hace tiempo, yo me encontraba en una situación parecida.
Estuve hablando con un chico durante un tiempo y luego dejó de mandarme mensajes de repente. Me rompió el corazón.
Me preguntaba qué había hecho mal y why I wasn’t enough. Que alguien me diga todo lo que te acabo de decir me ayudaría mucho.
Please, always be aware of your worth and never run after someone who doesn’t want you. Good luck!
