Ha smesso di mandarmi messaggi: cosa significa e cosa fare?

Ha smesso di mandarmi messaggi! A sentence so simple but yet so painful. A sentence that carries so many lost hopes and dreams. Every girl’s worst nightmare.

Sapete come funziona.

State frequentando e messaggiando con un ragazzo da un po' di tempo. Lui vi risponde, voi lo seguite e sembra che tutto vada bene.

Poi, all'improvviso, tutto si ferma. Ieri sera vi siete scambiati dei bei testi della buonanotte but the next day, he simply didn’t respond to your good morning message.

Continuate a fissare lo schermo del telefono, aspettando che compaia il suo numero di telefono. Ma non succede nulla.

Passano alcuni giorni e ancora niente. Dopo due settimane o un mese, non avete altra scelta se non quella di ammettere che lui vi ha tradito.

You’ll survive- you know that. But it’s perfectly natural for you to wonder why he did this.

Parlate con il vostro migliore amico, riavvolgete l'intera conversazione avanti e indietro, ma la risposta non si trova da nessuna parte.

Well, that’s because you haven’t run into me before. I won’t just tell you why he stopped texting you all of a sudden- I’ll also give you some dating advice on how to react when this happens.

Not only that: you’ll also learn how to notice all the red flags that a guy might ghost you, so you can run for your life on time. All you have to do is lay back and read on!

Cosa significa quando un ragazzo smette di mandare messaggi?

I’ll be 100% honest with you here: when a guy stops texting you, it usually means he doesn’t care about you. Or at least, he doesn’t care as much as you do. But that’s not the only possible reason for his change of behavior.

Maybe he is insecure or has been too busy lately. Maybe you two don’t want the same things or he is playing games.

The possibilities are endless. That’s why I’m bringing you the list of reasons behind this drop-off, explained in detail.

È impegnato

Let’s not jump to conclusions and assume the worst-case scenario right away. I know how most women think: He stopped texting me so it must mean he’s non interessato più.

I’ll be honest with you- this is a possibility, as well. But it’s not the only option.

For starters, why wouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he isn’t trying to ghost you or anything like that- maybe he just doesn’t have the time to text you.

I know what you must think right now: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.” But please, keep in mind that the two of you are probably just at the beginning of your romance.

It means that he wants to give you his full attention whenever he’s talking to you. He prefers not to text you at all over iniziare una conversazione e poi inviarvi risposte di una sola parola.

Se è così, dovreste essere felici di avere questo tipo di persona che non ha nulla da invidiare a nessuno.

Maybe he stopped texting you because he is super busy at work and he can’t take a break to talk to you.

You don’t need to panic right away but wait until the evening and then see what happens.

If he doesn’t reply after he has got home then you can text him to see what is happening.

I am sure he will have a reason good enough for not contacting you. Instead of asking him what he’s been up to, give him time to tell you where he’s been on his own.

This way, you won’t get perceived as too pushy. On the upside, he’ll think that you weren’t worried about lui che ti ignora. It will show him that you don’t need him.

And if he already showed you that he likes you, you don’t have anything to worry about.

Ti sta mentendo?

La domanda finale: come si può sapere se he’s lying to you? He’ll come back into your life- there is no doubt about that.

And he’ll tell you he’s been busy. But how do you know if he’s being honest or just using this as an excuse?

The best way to get to the bottom of things is to check his social media activity. If a guy doesn’t have time to text you, he won’t have time to like other girls’ photos or to post a bunch of stories either.

On the other hand, if he’s been active on his social media accounts- he hasn’t been busy- he just chose not to text you.

Pensa che siate invadenti

Some women can be very pushy, especially at the beginning of a relationship. And some guys really don’t like it.

Look, I don’t judge you for this behavior. Actually, I understand you perfectly.

Ti piace un ragazzo. Ti piace molto. E sembra che Gli piaci anche tu.

The first impulse you have is to keep him by your side forever. You don’t plan on letting this one get away.

Effetto controproducente

Inoltre, sentite di nuovo quelle farfalle dimenticate da tempo. Naturalmente, volete passare ogni secondo del vostro tempo libero accanto alla persona che vi fa sentire così bene.

Of course, that’s utterly impossible since you both have your jobs, friends, hobbies.. you have separate lives.

E allora cosa fate nel momento in cui vi manca? (E a dire il vero, vi manca sempre).

Beh, gli mandi un messaggio di testo. What do you do if you don’t get the text back?

Continuate a mandargli messaggi, indipendentemente da chi ha inviato l'ultimo messaggio.

I hate to break your bubble but he won’t find this cute. This type of behavior won’t make him fall in love with you more.

On the contrary, all of your texts will probably suffocate him. You’ll just chase him away with this comportamento appiccicoso.

So, whatever you do, don’t smother him with texts. Let him make the first move.

È lui che deve fare uno sforzo se vuole conquistarvi. Fate finta di niente per un po' e se vedete che è un bravo ragazzo, dategli una possibilità.

And yes, ‘smother’ him in person, I bet he will prefer that more.

Hai detto qualcosa che lo ha offeso

Most girls who think: “He stopped texting me out of nowhere” refuse to analyze the entire situation objectively.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you are to blame for the way this guy ti ha abbandonato but hey, it’s possible for you to carry a part of the responsibility.

Forse avete detto qualcosa che non è affatto male, ma che ha offeso il vostro uomo e ora ha bisogno di un po' di tempo per pensarci.

There are things that men and women don’t understand in the same way so don’t be too harsh on him.

Dategli un po' di tempo e vi risponderà. E quando lo conoscerete meglio, saprete quali sono le cose che gli piacciono e quelle che possono farlo arrabbiare.

Chiedere scusa e poi lasciarlo stare

Per cominciare, provate a rivedere le vostre conversazioni nella vostra testa. Iniziate dal primo appuntamento e continuate fino a questo momento.

Quando è cambiato? È successo qualcosa di insolito prima della sua scomparsa?

Dimenticate le vostre impressioni e provate a guardare le cose dalla sua prospettiva. Forse stavate solo scherzando su qualcosa di sciocco e apparentemente senza importanza, ma lui l'ha presa sul serio.

Cercate di capire se il suo tono di voce o il linguaggio del corpo sono cambiati a un certo punto. Le cose sono andate in discesa da quel momento?

Once you understand what you said or did wrong, apologize. Don’t push him too hard and don’t write any essay-long texts.

Just say that you’ve realized your mistake and that you’re sorry. If he doesn’t respond, stop texting him.

Give him some time to process things. Trust me- he’ll get back to you.

Sei sempre il primo che si mette in contatto con lui

Capisco che quel ragazzo vi piaccia e che vorreste parlargli senza sosta. Ma frena un attimo e pensa da uomo.

Se vede che sei sempre tu la prima a mandargli un messaggio, si potrebbe perdere interesse in voi.

Quindi aspettate che sia lui a mandarvi un messaggio e dimostrategli che avete una bella vita anche se lui non c'è.

Don’t let him see you are depressed when he is not around but behave totally normal, no matter how much you like him.

One of the common reasons why guys don’t text girls is actually pretty simple: they don’t have to.

Even if you don’t get a phone call or a text message from him for days, you’ll always be the first one to reach out.

Sadly, he’s gotten used to you doing all the work. I know this is the last thing you had on mind but somewhere along the way, you gave him a sign that he doesn’t have to put any effort around you.

It doesn’t matter whether he texts you or not- you’ll behave the same. You’re just being troppo disponibile. 

You’ll be the one initiating conversation, you’ll ask to see him face to face and you’ll keep this relationship alive, even if he doesn’t move an inch.

So, what inspires him to put in an effort? Nothing- that’s right. So, don’t text him and he will text you di sicuro.

Dandovi per scontati

Whether you’d like to admit this or not, the bitter truth is that this Il ragazzo ti dà per scontata. He assumes that you’ll always be there, even if he doesn’t do anything to keep you around.

Why wouldn’t you do something about that? For a change, stop texting him so often.

I know what you must be thinking now: “He stopped texting me, I must send him a message before he forgets all about me.”

Wrong! Actually, that’s the worst thing you might do at this point.

Analizzate invece il vostro comportamento. Ripercorrete le vostre conversazioni e vedete chi ha inviato più messaggi e chi ha iniziato le conversazioni.

Conosco già la risposta, ma il punto è che voi la scopriate.

He doesn’t want the same thing as you do

Il sesso opposto non è sempre così facile da capire. Sapete come si dice: gli uomini vengono da Marte, le donne da Venere.

A volte, un ragazzo ti manda tutte le segnali che indicano che vuole etichettare la vostra relazione e rendere le cose ufficiali. Sembra che lui ti veda come materiale per la fidanzata e vi aspettate che lui porti la vostra relazione al livello successivo ogni giorno.

E invece cosa è successo? Ti ha abbandonato come se non gli fosse mai importato nulla di te.

Potrebbe essere il suo modo di dirvi che avete interpretato male le cose. Non sta cercando una relazione e quindi non c'è bisogno che parliate in continuazione.

This is not the guy who’ll be sending you good morning and good night texts. Instead, he’ll probably text you the next time you cross his mind or when he gets bored.

(Forse voi volete qualcosa di serio e lui invece vuole solo qualcosa di occasionale.

Questo può essere il motivo per cui smette di mandarti messaggi anche se le cose tra voi due andavano bene). izbrisati

Se non cambia nulla e vedete che siete gli unici a provarci, sedetevi e parlategli apertamente.

It is okay if the two of you have different expectations but it would be nice for him to admit that to you. You surely don’t deserve someone who will string you along and ti rendono ridicolo.

Tu sei solo il suo bottino

Guys can be very sneaky and make you believe they really care about you when they’re actually cercando di entrare nei tuoi pantaloni.

It’s not like he can tell you that he isn’t interested in anything besides sleeping with you. Well, technically he can but if he sees that you’re catching feelings, it’s easier to pretend he cares about you as well.

Quindi, se ti manda messaggi solo a tarda notte e tutti i suoi messaggi hanno un contesto sessuale, devi sapere che tu sei solo il suo bottino di guerra.

Forse sta messaggiando con altre ragazze nello stesso momento e aspetta le risposte di tutte voi.

You shouldn’t put up with a guy like that, not even for a second, so tell him to back off and live your life in peace. Bear in mind that it is better to be alone than in bad company.

Avete condiviso con lui troppe informazioni personali

Once again, let’s not forget that in most cases, men think differently than women.

Let’s take this as an example. You meet a guy who tells you a lot about himself from the very start.

How do you react? Well, you’re probably delighted. You’re happy you’ve finally found a man who doesn’t have some imaginary walls built around his heart.

You’ve run into a guy who is open about his past and who has no trouble letting you in.

Tuttavia, quando si verifica la situazione opposta, ovvero quando un uomo incontra una donna che si apre subito, lo considera un eccesso di condivisione.

If you told him your life story and you don’t know him well, chances are that he might be scared and that is the main reason he doesn’t text you indietro.

That’s why you should never share anything important with a guy until you get to know him better.

Un uomo ha paura quando una donna che gli piace si apre con lui perché pensa che lei voglia sposarsi subito. So che pensano in modo strano, ma è così che sono.

Ha già una relazione

Sei sicura che questo ragazzo sia single? È possibile che abbia smesso di mandarti messaggi perché sua moglie o la sua fidanzata sono tornate da un viaggio di lavoro o sono più presenti?

You see, there are men who won’t commit actual adultery. But they don’t mind having an relazione emotiva e pensare che gli SMS siano innocui.

They’re married or in a relationship but that doesn’t stop them from being active on online dating sites. These men will call you on FaceTime but won’t ask to see you face to face in real life.

Instead, they’ll probably ask for your pics or engage in some sexting. Of course, they will only text you when their SO is not around.

Tuttavia, nel momento in cui le cose iniziano a farsi un po' più serie, probabilmente spariranno.

If you suspect this has happened to you, try looking for this man’s other profiles on social media. Here is a pro tip: use someone else’s profile to look for him because he probably blocked you.

I’m sure you’ll find traces of his real life if you dig deep enough.

Ti usa come spinta per il tuo ego

It hurts but it is true—some guys will text you only to see if you will fall for them. And when that happens, they will totally play the ghost.

They will pretend that you don’t exist or they will figure out that you want a relationship with them.

I tipi come quello sono veri e propri idioti, ma lo faranno con molte donne. solo per una spinta all'ego.

It is like a drug for them and they can’t control their behavior.

He doesn’t want to be too pushy

They hate to admit this but men get insecure as well. If you’re dealing with a ragazzo timido, he might stop texting you just because he’s afraid he’s being too pushy.

This is especially true if he’s been the one initiating most of your communication until now. He is giving you space to contact him because he doesn’t want to appear too needy.

This is actually a good thing because it’s a clear sign he’s che si sviluppano alcuni sentimenti forti per voi.

Si è spaventato

When you’re dealing with an emotionally unavailable guy who’s catching feelings for the first time in his life, it’s likely that he’ll chicken out. These emotions are something he doesn’t know how to handle and that’s why he’s hiding them.

On one hand, he’s perfectly aware he’s crazy about you. But at the same time, he’s scared of heartbreak.

He is terrified that you might leave him so he decides to do it first. He has the urge to escape this situation and that’s exactly what he does.

Of course, he doesn’t have the courage to tell you that he wants out. He knows that he would change his mind if he talked to you so instead, he decides to disappear from your life.

He’s just not that into you

You can be the prettiest, the funniest, and the smartest girl in the world. You can be girlfriend material and you can do everything by the book but even then, there will be men who won’t like you.

To be exact, there will be men who won’t like you enough to put some effort around you.

And that’s okay- we’re all human beings with our personal preferences. A guy doesn’t have to have a reason for not liking you enough.

Tuttavia, dovrebbe avere la decenza di dirtelo. Un bravo ragazzo ti lascerebbe andare avanti invece di tenervi in attesa.

He’s in a new relationship

If you two have been texting for a while but nothing real has happened, it’s possible that he found another girl in the meantime. He can be in a new relationship or he might just meet someone he liked more than you so he lost interest in texting you that much.

This shouldn’t ruin your self-esteem. Please, don’t confrontarsi con questa nuova ragazza.

Accettate che voi due non eravate destinati a stare insieme e andate avanti.

Sì, avrebbe dovuto avere il coraggio di dirvelo direttamente invece di sparire. Ma ehi, fidati di me... hai schivato un proiettile qui. You don’t need this coward in your life!

Sta giocando un gioco

Finally, it’s possible that this is all a part of his game. You’re dealing with a uomo tossico che si diverte a giocare con voi.

I’m not saying he doesn’t have feelings for you. But he wants you to fall in love with him even more and that’s why he’s using this hot and cold technique.

This is nothing but a game of power. He stops texting you for a couple of days just to see if you’ll fall into his trap and go crazier for him.

If you do this, you’re the loser. He sees that he’ll have you, no matter what he does.

In fact, the more he ignores you, the more you’ll love him.

Si tratta ovviamente di un ragazzino immaturo che deliberatamente ti manda segnali contrastanti. I don’t even have to tell you that you don’t need him around and that you’re better off without him.

La strada per batterlo al suo stesso gioco is to give him a taste of his own medicine. I promise you that he’ll contact you in no time. Well, that’s when you should give him a cold shower.

Show him that you’re not his toy and wish him good luck playing by himself.

Ha smesso di mandarmi messaggi: cosa devo fare?

Now that you’ve found out all the possible reasons for this guy’s disappearance, you’re probably wondering what you should do about it.

Dovresti mandargli un messaggio? O ignorarlo è un'idea migliore?

Just follow this step-by-step guide and I assure you that you’ll make all the right moves.

Don’t keep on texting him

I know that you have the urge to contact him. If it were up to you, you would double or triple text him. You want answers so you’re ready to write him an essay long text, asking for an explanation.

Sarebbe il peggior errore che possiate fare! Resistete a questo impulso il prima possibile.

I don’t care how you’ll do it but you MUST do it, this way or another. Put your phone down, give it to your best friend or keep yourself busy- whatever it takes.

If it’s necessary, picture him laughing at how pathetic you are every time you think about sending him a message. Picture him blocco del numero di telefono because you’re too annoying.

I’m not saying that this will happen- I just want you to use this scenario as a distraction from contacting him in any way.

Don’t blame yourself

Il passo successivo è liberarsi del senso di colpa. Anche se avete fatto qualcosa per allontanarlo, il ghosting non è mai la soluzione.

Lui è l'unico colpevole di questa situazione. A prescindere da quello che è successo, avrebbe dovuto trovare il coraggio di parlarle e di chiudere la faccenda da vero uomo.

Quindi, per favore, smettetela di cercare di giustificare il suo comportamento immaturo. Non ci sono scuse per questo atto vile!

Lasciategli un po' di spazio

Not texting your man won’t be enough. Instead, you should non contattare completamente. Dategli un po' di spazio e un possibilità di sentire la tua mancanza.

It would be great if you could downsize your social media activity. Let him wonder where you are and what you’ve been up to.

Don’t talk to your mutual friends about him. Don’t ask them if they’ve heard from him.

Don’t show up at places where you could run into him. Disappear from his life the same way he disappeared from your inbox!

Concentrarsi sulla propria vita

La cosa più importante è mettetevi al primo posto. Invece di passare le giornate a piangere per questo idiota, iniziate a lavorare su voi stessi.

I know that this isn’t easy but please, do your best to stop thinking about him.

Provate a chiacchierare con altri ragazzi, trovate un modo per tenervi occupate, uscite con gli amici, iniziate a guardare una nuova serie televisiva; fate qualsiasi cosa per non pensare a lui.

In the meantime, make yourself happy. Trust me- he’ll reappear the moment you forget about him.

Raggiungere

After a while, it’s safe to reach out to him. Enough time has passed and you won’t look desperate for contacting him now.

But don’t sound too needy. Don’t tell him that you miss him and avoid huge romantic love declarations.

Just ask him what’s up or send him something that reminded you of him. If lo segui ancora su Instagram, just reply to his story- that’s always a safe way to make the first move.

Wait and see how he’ll react. Will he keep the conversation going? Follow his lead and don’t push things too hard.

Chiedetegli una spiegazione

If you’re still so eager to get an explanation, just ask him. Don’t talk about your heartbreak and don’t act like him ghosting you was the end of the world.

Cercate di essere il più disinvolti possibile. Ditegli subito che vi stavate chiedendo perché fosse sparito in quel modo l'ultima volta. Chiedigli se va tutto bene.

Ma per favore, don’t let him play you for a fool. Make it clear that you’re not buying his lies and that you want the truth.

Andare avanti

Now that you’ve got your closure (or at least, ha cercato di ottenerlo), it’s time to move on with your life. You know you did your best and it’s clear that a man like him doesn’t deserve you.

I know it’s not easy. You have feelings for him and you just want things to go back to the way they used to be.

But hey, do you really want to live in fear, constantly expecting something like this to happen again? That’s what I thought.

Invece di investire tempo in questo idiota, reindirizzate le energie e fate del vostro meglio per dimenticarlo.

He Didn’t Text Me Today

When you’re crazy in love, it’s enough for a guy not to text you for a couple of hours for you to think of the worst. I can just imagine the drama going on inside your head if he hasn’t texted you an entire day.

You can’t eat, work or do anything else and all you do is stare at your phone screen. Sounds familiar? Well, I’ve got you covered- here is what it means and what you should do about it.

Che cosa significa?

A man not texting you one day doesn’t have to be a big deal. If you’ve just started dating, maybe he wants to give you some space or he’s just been busy.

On the other hand, if you’re in a serious relationship and you’re used to hearing from each other all the time- this can be a bandiera rossa.

Cosa devo fare?

If this is happening for the first time, text him first. Don’t start a fight and just initiate a conversation.

On the other hand, if he has a habit of not messaging you for an entire day, maybe it’s time for some serious talk- especially if you’re in a serious relationship.

Ditegli che don’t plan on chasing him e che il suo comportamento è inaccettabile. La cosa più importante è non fare minacce a vuoto.

Don’t tell him that you’ll leave him the next time he disappears if you’re not ready to actually do it.

Either way, the bottom line is that he has to take you seriously. Make sure he knows you’re not playing and that you won’t tolerate this any longer.

Ha smesso di mandarmi messaggi dopo essere andati a letto insieme

Every girl’s worst nightmare: a guy non chiamando o mandando messaggi dopo essere stata a letto con lui. First of all, let me tell you that we’ve all been there and it’s not the end of the world (even though it seems that way now).

Ti manderà ancora un messaggio? Voleva solo scopare?

Did he pretend to be something he’s not just to get in your pants? Were all the cute little things he did for you just a way to your bedroom?

Here is where you’ll find all of your answers.

Che cosa significa?

Mi spiace doverlo dire, ma nella maggior parte dei casi, the guy didn’t text you because he considers this meaningless sex. He wants to make it clear that this is not a relationship and that he’s interested in anything besides hooking up from time to time.

Of course, he doesn’t have the courage to tell you this face to face, so he expects you to figure things out by yourself.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t have to be the only reason for his disappearance. Maybe he is self-conscious about his performance and he is too ashamed to talk to you.

Cosa devo fare?

I don’t care what century this is, you’re a lady and you should never contact the guy first after you spent the night together. Basically, there is nothing much you can do here except wait for his move.

But this doesn’t mean that you should take him back if he decides to reach out after two weeks or more. Give him a couple of days and if he doesn’t text you during that period- bloccare il suo numero and forget that he’s ever been a part of your life.

Trust me- if he tries calling you after, it’s just another booty call.

Pensieri finali

So cosa state pensando in questo momento: tutto questo è molto più facile a dirsi che a farsi. Ebbene, lasciate che vi sveli un piccolo segreto: una volta mi trovavo in una situazione simile.

Ho parlato con questo ragazzo per un po' e poi ha smesso di mandarmi messaggi dal nulla. Mi ha spezzato il cuore.

Mi chiedevo cosa avessi fatto di sbagliato e why I wasn’t enough. Se qualcuno mi dicesse tutto quello che ho appena detto mi aiuterebbe molto.

Please, always be aware of your worth and never run after someone who doesn’t want you. Good luck!