Adiós a mi casi amante

Mi querido casi amante,

You are my hopeless dream. You’re all that I wish for and all I know I’ll never have.

If what we had was meant to be anything bigger or more important, it would’ve been. If it was meant to be, it would’ve happened. But it didn’t happen and I highly doubt it will. Because that’s all we were meant to be—just almost lovers.

Sólo somos una posibilidad de que dos personas estén juntas que nunca llegó a hacerse realidad. We weren’t meant to be anything bigger than ‘what if’ questions. We weren’t meant to be anything more than the vivid desire of how wild we could have been—a image that screens itself like a looped video before my eyes as soon as I close them.

I am tired of waiting for somebody who won’t ever come for me.

For a long time, I was lead to believe that we could’ve actually been something more. The idea of how wonderful everything could be kept dancing in my head. I am making it stop just as I’m writing this to you.

You might’ve been my lover, but you could never be my love. And you know why? Because love isn’t meant to hurt so much.

Love isn’t supposed to make me cry myself to sleep. Love isn’t supposed to make me wonder if I am worth it. Love should make me feel like the most special person in this world to somebody, to you, but what we had, what you gave me, never made me feel that way.

Mi casi amante,

I believe I deserve more. I believe I get to have true love in my life. I believe it from the bottom of my heart and I know I’m entitled to such a love in my lifetime.

Creí que eras mi amor, pero se me escapó de las manos durante demasiado tiempo. Y al final, me di cuenta de que no lo eras. Sólo te pinté con los colores del amor. Pero, para empezar, esos colores nunca te sentaron bien.

Nunca quise verte infeliz y pensé que tú querías lo mismo para mí. Maybe you didn’t mean to hurt me, maybe it wasn’t your intention to break my piece by piece, but that’s exactly what you did by not choosing me.

Al no elegirme tú, tomé la decisión de elegirme a mí mismo.

Así que.., adiós mi amante. Goodbye to all the things we could’ve been. Goodbye to all those minutes, hours, and days I kept waiting for you to choose me. Goodbye to all my dreams I had for us. I’d say goodbye to us, but there wasn’t ever an ‘us’. There was just usted y sólo había me . Y usted y yo nunca fui destinado a ser us .

Goodbye, my almost lover, goodbye, my hopeless dream. I’m trying not to think about you. Can’t you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache, almost lovers always do.