Addio al mio quasi amante

Mio caro quasi amante,

You are my hopeless dream. You’re all that I wish for and all I know I’ll never have.

If what we had was meant to be anything bigger or more important, it would’ve been. If it was meant to be, it would’ve happened. But it didn’t happen and I highly doubt it will. Because that’s all we were meant to be—just almost lovers.

Siamo solo la possibilità di due persone che stanno insieme e che non hanno mai preso vita. We weren’t meant to be anything bigger than ‘what if’ questions. We weren’t meant to be anything more than the vivid desire of how wild we could have been—a image that screens itself like a looped video before my eyes as soon as I close them.

I am tired of waiting for somebody who won’t ever come for me.

For a long time, I was lead to believe that we could’ve actually been something more. The idea of how wonderful everything could be kept dancing in my head. I am making it stop just as I’m writing this to you.

You might’ve been my lover, but you could never be my love. And you know why? Because love isn’t meant to hurt so much.

Love isn’t supposed to make me cry myself to sleep. Love isn’t supposed to make me wonder if I am worth it. Love should make me feel like the most special person in this world to somebody, to you, but what we had, what you gave me, never made me feel that way.

Il mio quasi amante,

I believe I deserve more. I believe I get to have true love in my life. I believe it from the bottom of my heart and I know I’m entitled to such a love in my lifetime.

Pensavo che fossi il mio amore, ma poi hai continuato a sfuggirmi dalle dita per troppo tempo. E alla fine ho capito che non lo eri. Ti ho solo dipinto con i colori dell'amore. Ma quei colori non sono mai stati adatti a te, tanto per cominciare.

Non ho mai voluto vederti infelice e pensavo che tu volessi lo stesso per me. Maybe you didn’t mean to hurt me, maybe it wasn’t your intention to break my piece by piece, but that’s exactly what you did by not choosing me.

Non avendo tu scelto me, ho deciso di scegliere me stesso.

Quindi, addio al mio amante. Goodbye to all the things we could’ve been. Goodbye to all those minutes, hours, and days I kept waiting for you to choose me. Goodbye to all my dreams I had for us. I’d say goodbye to us, but there wasn’t ever an ‘us’. There was just voi e c'era solo me . E voi e io non sono mai stato destinato ad essere noi .

Goodbye, my almost lover, goodbye, my hopeless dream. I’m trying not to think about you. Can’t you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache, almost lovers always do.