¿Por qué no le gusto a los chicos? 13 maneras de alejarlos sin querer

Why don’t guys like me? It seems that pretty girls like mi mejor amigo get all the attention and I’m stuck here hoping for that first date that just isn’t coming. What am I doing wrong?

First of all, looks aren’t everything. While I’m certain that you’re a beautiful woman, there are numerous characteristics that you have to factor in when it comes to winning over guys.

Puede ser especialmente duro para las jóvenes que aún están en el instituto y no están seguras de qué tipo de chico necesitan realmente.

Pero déjenme decirles algo. Si pudiera volver atrás en el tiempo y cambiar algo, sin duda sería la presión a la que me sometía por querer parecer una supermodelo.

I was so sure that the whole nice girl thing wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I did everything in my power to be the kind of girl I thought guys want. Vaya si me equivoqué.

These things come with age but you should know that being good-looking isn’t the key to getting el hombre adecuado.

And by focusing on all the wrong things, you’re ruining your chances of finding him.

Trying too hard to be someone you’re not and obsessing over every little thing is off-putting.

But don’t worry, I’m going to help you out so that you never have to wonder what’s wrong with you again.

A continuación, revelo 13 things that guys (secretly) can’t stand sobre las chicas y cómo puedes cambiar las cosas rápidamente.

Why Don’t Guys Like Me? These Are The Most Likely Reasons

Because you think you’re not good enough (and it shows)

Here’s the best dating advice you’ll hear today. If you don’t consider yourself good enough, they won’t either.

Recuérdalo.

Todo empieza con la percepción que uno tiene de sí mismo.

Guys pick up on things like that. If you’re constantly questioning your every move and apologizing every two minutes, it starts getting exhausting.

No wonder you often ask yourself: Why don’t guys want to date me? It’s because you make yourself appear unappealing.

Cuanto antes empieces a crear una imagen más positiva de ti mismo en tu cabeza, mejor te irá. amar la vida conseguirá.

Te suele gustar su IDEA, no el tipo en sí.

You fall for the Tinder version, the kind of guy who only exists in movies, so when you see them in real life, you start pulling away. That’s not cool.

How would you feel if a guy ran away the moment he realized that you weren’t this perfect Barbie he had created in his mind? It would feel horrible.

You’ll never find the right guy as long as you hold on to this idea of a perfect guy who doesn’t exist.

¡Noticia de última hora! Todo el mundo tiene defectos. Tú, yo, el tipo de al lado, incluso Brad Pitt es (probablemente) totalmente defectuoso.

But that doesn’t make a person any less worthy. It just makes them human.

Pierdes interés en el momento en que un chico empieza a preocuparse por ti.

Este es tu modus operandi. Sueles suspirar por un chico durante semanas antes de hacer un movimiento.

Empiezas a imaginar en tu cabeza escenarios perfectos en los que estáis juntos y te sientes como en un sueño.

Secretamente esperas que se fije en ti y... hace el primer movimiento. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.

Pero cuando lo hace y realmente tienes tu oportunidad, pierdes el interés.

Suddenly, when he’s no longer the forbidden fruit that you secretly fantasize about, it’s no longer as exciting or dreamy.

But here’s the deal. Life isn’t a fantasy. It’s very much real.

Perder el interés en el momento en que consigues que alguien se interese por ti demuestra inseguridad por tu parte.

Could it be that you’re not actually ready for commitment or are there other underlying factors at play here?

Véase también: Qué es una relación exclusiva y 15 señales de que estás en una

You try way too hard to be someone you’re not

Don’t believe all those dating sites, nobody looks that way in real life! We can all take a hot pic and use Photoshop.

But trying so hard to look a certain way (when it couldn’t be further from who you really are) is just sad.

Guys don’t like girls who look and talk like every other single girl they’ve ever dated.

They like a woman who has something to say. A woman who looks the way she looks and doesn’t feel the need to conform to society’s rules.

That’s what’s hot and that’s what gets you dates.

Just ask your guy friends what kind of girls they like and you’ll see what I mean. Substance over beauty any day.

Analizas en exceso cada uno de sus movimientos y le das demasiadas vueltas a las cosas

Your body language gives you away every time. The way you can’t calm your hands when you’re suspicious over where he was.

The way your eyes roll when he tells you he was at his buddy’s house.

The way you constantly text him, asking about his whereabouts and making him feel stalked. Just like you don’t like being controlled, neither do guys.

Overanalyzing your man’s every move gets you further and further away from him. It shows a severe lack of trust and insecurity that plagues your relationship.

Te preocupas más por verte bien que por ser amable

Looking great doesn’t get you the guy. Sure, it’ll attract him toward you and keep him around for a bit but ultimately, if you’re not kind, respectful and considerate, you can call it quits.

Don’t go around saying things like, “Guys don’t like me and I have no idea why,” if all you put into the relationship is your looks. That’s never going to be enough.

Si quieres que este chico se convierta en tu mejor amigo, tiene que haber una conexión genuina entre vosotros dos.

Las relaciones superficiales se marchitan más rápido de lo que imaginas.

Tienes la costumbre de publicar demasiadas cosas demasiado pronto en las redes sociales

The first time you go on a date, you take a pic and post it. You don’t even give it a second thought.

Ever since high school, you’ve loved documenting every part of your life.

But here’s the deal. You can totally post whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t make your date feel awkward.

Te imaginas cómo se sentiría al ver una foto inesperada de vosotros dos en Instagram con hashtags como 1TP5Mejoresobjetivosdepareja o 1TP5Mejoresobjetivosque los tuyos incluso antes de hacerlo oficial?

If you’re wondering, “Why don’t guys like me?” esta es la razón Deja de saltarte pasos. Lleva tiempo evolucionar hasta esta fase y las prisas sólo pueden perjudicarte.

Su química física mola pero le falta en todos los demás departamentos

Me encanta un chico que puede animarme sin que yo tenga que decirle que lo necesito. Eso demuestra una conexión real.

Y aunque me encanta el contacto físico (un aspecto importante, sin duda), la conexión emocional y mental es igual de vital.

How can you be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get how you think?

The physical aspect will only take you so far but for as long as you don’t nurture every other part of a relationship, guys will have a tendency to hit the road.

Contrariamente a la creencia popular, el sexo no es lo único que los hombres quieren de una relación. The more mature he is, the more inclined he’ll be to leave if things aren’t clicking in every way.

Siempre vas a por hombres no disponibles (y te quemas siempre)

Here are my two cents on relationships. Always go for a guy who can make you LOL when you’re feeling down, as opposed to someone who only likes your perky derrière.

Haven’t you learned by now? If you keep yearning for guys who are clearly not bueno para ti, you’ll always get burned.

The whole bad boy shtick doesn’t get you your happily-ever-after.

Y tengo la sensación de que ya lo sabes pero, de alguna manera, sigues esperando lo contrario.

You’re too clingy and don’t have a life outside of the relationship

Esto es contraproducente para una relación duradera.

While it’s comforting and reassuring having someone you want to spend every second with, you both need space of your own.

Your love life will never thrive as long as you keep the guy as the center of your universe. Guys get scared away when they realize you’re being too clingy.

No tener vida fuera de la relación les hace temer lo que les depara el futuro.

The longer you’re together, the clingier you’ll become, which could easily turn into possessiveness and that’s the last thing anyone would find attractive.

Véase también: 4 formas de superar con éxito la dinámica romántica de empujar y tirar

You’re excessively confident (which translates as arrogant)

Back in high school, no one was ever quite as confident and self-assured as you. And while you took it as a good thing, others didn’t.

Verás, tu alta autoestima puede traducirse como arrogante.

I know that you probably aren’t like that but it’s important to be self-aware. Be confident but don’t act like you’re better than others. It’s an ugly personality trait.

Humility goes a long way. Guys don’t appreciate someone who always acts condescending and like they know better.

Even if you do think that you’re always right, don’t let others know. Stay true to yourself but give credit where credit is due.

Te falta propósito y pasión en la vida

Don’t let yourself be a 30-year old woman with no purpose in life other than finding a guy. That’s not cute.

Don’t allow yourself to get to a primera cita and when the guy inevitably asks you about your hopes and dreams, you just shrug it off. That’s a major red flag.

Claro que no todo el mundo tiene la vida resuelta, pero al menos hay que saber lo que se quiere y trabajar para conseguirlo.

Si sigues dejando que las cosas fluyan, sin saber de dónde vendrá tu próxima paga, los chicos huirán a las colinas.

They don’t need a girl who’ll depend on them for everything.

Relationships are 50-50. You get as much as you’re ready to give.

Hablas mal de tus ex, lo que hace que los chicos duden en acercarse a ti.

Esta es una de las principales cosas que los chicos encuentran profundamente poco atractivo. Who’s to say that you won’t talk badly about him if things don’t work out?

A nadie le gusta que hablen de él a sus espaldas.

If your reputation precedes you, it’s time to re-evaluate it. What do you really get out of badmouthing an ex?

¿Le produce alegría o una sensación de cierre?

In my experience, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth that won’t go away as long as you cling on to it.

So don’t be surprised if guys aren’t that into you right now.

How could they be? They all fear that one day, you’ll start spreading rumors about them that aren’t necessarily true.

¿Cómo puedes cambiar las cosas y gustar a los chicos?

Cambia tu mentalidad = cambia tu vida

Esto es algo que todo joven necesita oír. Tu mentalidad es lo que controla no solo tu vida amorosa, sino toda tu vida.

The way you think is how you allow yourself to act. And if you’re insecure and feel unworthy, that’s what you’re going to project into the world. So stop.

Mírate al espejo. ¿Qué es lo que ves? Una mujer fuerte, capaz y hermosa que ha pasado por muchas cosas y sigue en pie..

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t let anyone affect it.

THAT’s what you need to tell yourself every time you think you’re not good enough.

Remind yourself of every painful memory and heartache you’ve survived and realize what a badass you are.

Te gusta un chico por lo que es, no por lo que QUIERES que sea.

Esta es otra gran cosa. Tienes que dejar de crear falsas percepciones de los chicos en tu cabeza. Nadie es perfecto.

We’ve all got stuff we’re dealing with.

But guess what? That doesn’t make anyone any less worthy or acceptable. Embrace people for who they are.

Acepta sus pequeñas manías y sus molestos defectos. Tú también los tienes y todos los que te rodean también. Si eso hiciera que la gente no tuviera citas, todo el mundo estaría soltero.

Relationships are based on accepting each other’s flaws and respecting their individuality. Learn it, practice it, live it.

Don’t let yourself pull away the moment it starts getting real

Lo entiendo. A mí también me asustaba el compromiso. Después de haber pasado por relación TEPTabrirse se convirtió en un verdadero reto.

But do you know what I realized? If I keep believing that everyone is going to be like my ex, I’m never going to find love.

Así que me puse en marcha, me enfrenté a mis miedos y aprendí a dar una oportunidad a los chicos. Por suerte, con el tiempo, encontré a mi alma gemela.

It doesn’t happen overnight and it’s not easy but the sooner you allow yourself to let people in, the easier it becomes.

Sé TÚ MISMO (los demás ya están ocupados)

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Don’t for a second think that someone else is better than you just because they look different (prettier) in your eyes.

Your value isn’t based on how well you can pretend to be what others want you to be. It’s all about being your true, authentic self in a world full of copycats.

Besides, by not conforming to anyone’s norms, you’re going to stand out from the crowd. And what’s cooler than that?

Véase también: 6 maneras de ser leal a uno mismo y por qué es tan importante

En el momento en que empieces a pensar demasiado, DETENTE y haz algo productivo.

En serio, pensar demasiado es lo peor para una relación duradera.

It creates scenarios that aren’t real, breeds distrust and leads to serious issues that aren’t really there.

Así que la próxima vez que te sorprendas a ti mismo sobreanalizando una situación perfectamente simple, detente.

Cuenta hasta diez antes de decir algo de lo que puedas arrepentirte y aprende a confiar en la gente.

If your man says something, why is your first instinct to think he’s lying? Just because your ex had a habit of being disloyal, it doesn’t give you the right to treat your current man the same.

If he gives you no reason to overthink something, then don’t. It’s going to do wonders for your mind and your relationship.

It’s what’s inside that counts (good looks will only get you so far)

“No hay modelo, ni actriz, ni aspirante a Miss América que pueda eclipsar a una mujer feliz, confiada y segura de sí misma.” ― Mandy Hale

Amen! Being pretty isn’t all that. Having a nice rack isn’t a guarantee for a happy love life.

Tener un botín que a los chicos les encanta mirar at won’t get you a deeper connection. Why? Because without a happy, confident, kind personality, you’ll never get what you want in life.

As I’ve already mentioned, chicos se enamoran de belleza pero se quedan para la clase (con una pizca de descaro).

Work on how you treat others and how respectful and understanding you are. Don’t put all your efforts into looking like a Greek goddess. Be good-looking but exude kindness!

Deja las redes sociales fuera de tu relación (al menos al principio)

Let me give you a priceless piece of dating advice. Leave your phone alone while you’re experiencing those first stages of a relationship.

The world doesn’t need to know who you’re seeing or how things are going. Some things are sacred, don’t you agree?

Out of respect for your date, keep things between yourselves for a while. It’s only going to be more amazing, knowing that he is your little secret that no one knows about.

That way, even if things don’t work out, you’ll avoid having to explain to everyone the ins and outs of your two-week courtship.

Aprender a conectar a nivel emocional

Para que una relación funcione de verdad, tiene que haber una conexión genuina sobre la que se pueda construir.

Tiene que haber algo de sustancia que te permita ver a esta persona como algo más que alguien muy sexy.

The physical aspect of a relationship is so important but if you devote all your efforts into being under the sheets and neglect to connect mentally and emotionally, there’s really nothing there.

If you want a future with this person, make sure you feel comfortable, seen and heard when you’re with them. If all they are is a really good booty call, that’s all they’ll ever be.

Stop going for guys you know you can’t have

We all yearn for what we can’t have; that’s the allure of forbidden fruit.

And the more you’re told that this guy is unavailable, the more you’ll lust after him.

This is something I can understand if you’re still really, really young.

Pero a medida que te conviertes en una mujer madura y capaz, tu gusto por los hombres debería seguirte.

If you know that someone is taken, don’t plot a way to his heart. It won’t end well.

Ahórrate la angustia de enamorarte de hombres inalcanzables e inaccesibles y ve a por alguien con quien puedas tener un futuro.

Encuentra la alegría en la vida antes de encontrarla con un hombre

Esto es lo que mi madre siempre me ha dicho y estoy más que agradecida de haberle hecho caso.

As long as you’re unfulfilled and unhappy with your own life, a man can never truly make you feel whole.

You need to find it in yourself first. Find that thing that motivates you to wake up every morning. Search for something that’ll give your life meaning.

Encuentra la plenitud en ti misma antes de encontrar a un hombre con el que compartirás una vida.

That is a sure-fire way to create a happy, healthy, lasting bond that won’t end in tears and disappointment.

Véase también: 15 cosas que debería incluir en su lista de necesidades sentimentales

Work on your demeanor – you can be both confident and kind

Para mí, no hay nada más atractivo que una mujer hermosa con un corazón de oro.

Just because you look like a supermodel, it doesn’t mean that you should stop being kind.

No dejas de preguntártelo: “Why don’t guys like me?” ¿Ha pensado alguna vez que ésta podría ser la razón?

Haz un examen de conciencia y averigua por qué tipo de persona quieres que te recuerden.

While we’re at it, I’ll just leave this jaw-dropping quote here, and let you do what you want with it.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

Persigue tus sueños y metas para encontrar la plenitud que buscas en los hombres

Don’t ever put your life on hold while on a quest for a guy.

No sólo estarás resentido contigo mismo el resto de tu vida, sino que también provocará confusión e infelicidad en tu entorno. tu vida amorosa.

Maybe guys don’t like you because you put all your focus on them and stop thinking about your life outside of the relationship.

But you can easily put an end to that. Follow your passion. Go after that job you’ve wanted since you were in high school.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything. You know your own abilities.

Don’t let anyone limit them and instead, reach for the stars. Happiness lies outside of your comfort zone.

Mantén los asuntos de la relación en privado por respeto a tu ex

A lot of people I know tend to bad-mouth their ex the moment it’s over. But to me, this is the worst quality in a person.

Unless he truly did you wrong, don’t stoop to that level. Be better than that. Leave the past in the past and move on to better things. It’s much more dignified.

Your break-up may suck but that doesn’t mean that you get to trash-talk the guy the next day just because you’re dissatisfied with your own life.

If things didn’t work out, that’s tough but everything that went wrong can serve as a lesson on what to do better next time.

¡Buena suerte con tu chico!

Hopefully, I’ve managed to answer your question: “Why don’t guys like me?” Here’s what I hope you take away from this article.

You can look like a legit supermodel but if you don’t put any effort into being a kind person, it’ll never work out.

Guys are attracted to pretty girls but it’s the personality that makes them stay!

So stop focusing on the wrong things. Be confident but don’t push them away.

Know what you want in a guy but don’t try to change them into something they’re not. Appreciate your conexión emocional tanto como el físico.

Relationships are tough work. You’re not always going to like this person, no matter how hot they are.

So it’s important for there to be a genuine bond, so as to have something to hold on to cuando las cosas se ponen difíciles.

Now, read all of this again if you have to and go get that man I know you’re pining for.

Sé auténtico y deja que las cosas evolucionen a su ritmo natural.

Véase también: Cómo atraer a un chico: 19 maneras infalibles de llamar su atención