hombre y mujer sonrientes sentados en un banco junto al agua

Guía para que te elija a ti antes que a otra mujer

When you’ve reached the point where you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , your love life is a real mess.

You know that you shouldn’t be competing with someone else for your man’s attention, but you just can’t help it. 

Lo único que quieres es que el hombre al que amas rompa con esa chica, para que tú puedas convertirte en la única mujer de su vida. Sin embargo, es evidente que él tiene problemas para elegir entre una mujer y otra. 

Well, even though competing with some other girl is not something you should be doing, we’re not here to judge. Instead, we’re here to your rescue. 

Here is exactly what you should do to make him pick you over all other girls in his life. Read on and you’ll find out how to make him choose you over the other woman in no time. 

1. Ser atractivo pero no necesitado

mujer con mochila y hombre sentado cerca del agua

La mayoría de las mujeres cometen el mismo error una y otra vez cuando se trata de citas, independientemente de la competencia.

Algunas chicas se convierten demasiado pegajoso cuando encuentran a un tipo que les gusta.

Piensan que si le prestan mucha atención, se dará cuenta de lo enamoradas que están de él y, en consecuencia, las elegirá a ellas antes que a los demás.

Según esta lógica, toda persona con algo de sentido común estará con quien la cuide y la quiera. 

Por otro lado, algunas chicas se hacen las difíciles. 

They think that this way, a guy of their interest will be intrigued by them and they will play with his ego to the point where he’ll make it his mission to make them his. 

According to this logic, once this guy realizes that they’re actually in love with him, he’ll be head over heels for them.

Looking from two different perspectives, each one of these approaches is perfectly reasonable. Theoretically, they both make sense, despite the fact that they’re completely opposite.

However, somehow, in practice, neither of them works. Well, that’s why I’m here to reveal a trick that is actually efficient in real life.

mujer con top a rayas apoyada en una valla de madera

La clave está en encontrar el equilibrio perfecto. Básicamente, tienes que encontrar un compromiso entre ser atractivo pero no demasiado necesitado. 

The moment a guy sees that you’re madly in love with him, he’ll start taking you for granted. In your situation, he’ll probably end up going to the other girl who is not giving him enough attention. 

Por otro lado, si juegas demasiado difícil de conseguir , it’s likely that he’ll get tired of constantly chasing you around. In your situation, he’ll go to the other girl who is giving him love and comfort. 

Por lo tanto, lo que tienes que hacer es mostrar cierto interés por este hombre. Deja claro que quieres que sea tuyo y que tus intenciones no son ser su amiga.

However, don’t be on his back all the time. Give him space and show him that you’re a tolerant woman with a life of her own.

Demuéstrale que elegirte significaría tener una mujer que se preocupa por él profundamente y que, al mismo tiempo, nunca intentaría limitar su libertad.

Sounds like the perfect blend, right? Well, that’s exactly what every man thinks and what will haz que te persiga

2. Bromea y flirtea con él

hombre y mujer sonrientes hablando de pie al aire libre

A veces, los hechos hablan más que las palabras. Lo mismo ocurre con las relaciones románticas, sobre todo en las fases iniciales. 

What I’m trying to say is that you should allow your body language to speak on your behalf before you verbally make your emotions or intentions clear. Play a game of cat and mouse.

Para empezar, utiliza el contacto visual para flirtear con este hombre. Míralo profunda y seductoramente a los ojos. 

Then whenever he looks back at you, bite your lip and look away. This way, you’ll intrigue him and he won’t be certain about what you want from him, which will haz que te persiga aún más. 

¿Se está imaginando cosas? ¿Realmente lo ves como algo más que un amigo o está todo en su cabeza?

Estos dilemas que pasan por su mente son beneficiosos para ti. Al fin y al cabo, quieres que piense en ti, ya que es un camino seguro para que se enamore de ti. 

Also, don’t forget to engage in physical contact with him. 

mujer sonriente y hombre haciendo contacto visual al aire libre

Now I’m not saying that you should be all over this guy. So, don’t kiss him all of a sudden. In fact, your job is to inspire him towards taking the first step. 

Instead, be as near to him as possible whenever you’re around. Talk to him quietly in the ear, touch his hand when you’re talking, and keep him in your arms for a bit longer every time you greet. 

At first glance, this doesn’t have to mean a lot. However, trust me when I tell you that men are big fans of physical affection. 

No, I’m not talking about sleeping together here only. I’m talking about other forms of intimacy as well.

Quieres que este chico se sienta más seguro a tu lado en comparación con la otra mujer del juego. Quieres que vea tu abrazo más cálido, tus bromas más divertidas y tu sonrisa más amplia. 

Well, every time you flirt with him, you’re impacting his subconsciousness. This way, when he remembers you, he’ll remember the butterflies he felt when you were looking at him.

3. Don’t obsess over the other woman…

hombre y mujer haciendo contacto visual sentados cerca de una tienda de campaña

When you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , involuntarily this other woman becomes your obsession. 

After all, you can’t help but see her as your arch enemy and obstacle to happiness. So, you can’t stop thinking about her.

Lo que nunca debes hacer es permitir que tu chico se dé cuenta de eso.

I know you have the desire to talk trash about her, but trust me, it’s better to ignore her existence than to make her even more important than she already is.

Verás, el error número uno que cometen las chicas en estas situaciones es fastidiar a su chico por esa otra chica. 

This way, even when she is not present in his thoughts, you’re putting her there, by constantly bringing her name up. 

Consequently, you’re causing a counterproductive effect. After all, you want your guy to forget about her, don’t you?

How exactly do you plan to achieve that if you’re the one who keeps talking about her? Instead of achieving your final goal, you’re actually making her the third wheel in your relationship.

Besides, showing that you’re obsessed with this other woman will make this guy think that you’re insecure

You’ll show your jealousy and only succeed in boosting his ego and assuring him that he’s this big stud. 

4. …but investigate her

mujer con jersey gris mirando el teléfono

Nevertheless, just because you won’t mention this other girl to your man, it doesn’t mean that you should really ignore her existence.

En esta situación, es alguien a quien tienes que derrotar, lo que significa que toda la información que puedas tener sobre ella es muy valiosa.

You can’t defeat your enemy when you don’t know what you’re battling against. That is exactly why it’s a good idea to investigate your opponent before making any moves. 

First and foremost, visit her social media profiles. This is where you’ll learn a lot about her personality, lifestyle, and appearance. 

Además, intenta preguntar por ahí sobre ella. Sé que esto suena injusto, pero cavar un poco de suciedad en esta mujer sería jackpot. 

However, whatever you do, please be careful. You don’t want her to find out that you are investigating her because that would just boost her ego and make you look like a lunatic stalker.

dos mujeres hablando sentadas en un banco

Recuerda: tu objetivo es ser mejor que ella en todos los aspectos posibles. 

This is where you’ll need to be realistic. Try to disregard your jealousy and see this woman for who she is.

Aquí hay dos posibilidades. En un caso, puede que la veas mucho peor que tú. Esto no es más que un mecanismo de defensa. 

Even though this approach will boost your ego, it’s not such a good thing since you’ll underestimate your enemy, which can be the cause of your final downfall.

In the other case, your insecurities might explode. You might see this girl as much better than you – more beautiful, smart, educated, interesting…

Si esto ocurre, tu autoestima quedará arruinada.

You won’t be able to show to your man how alta calidad de una mujer que eres, e incluso tú mismo pensarás que ella lo merece más que tú, que no eres lo suficientemente bueno.

Well, this is another situation where balance is required. That is why it’s important to be realistic about her since it’s the only way to see both her good and bad sides. 

5. …and bring up her flaws

hombre y mujer sentados en una manta en la playa cerca del mar

Once you learn more about this girl’s weak spots and negative sides, it’s time to use them against her. However, you’ll have to be sneaky with this one as well.

At first, you might think that this is unfair. Nevertheless, don’t forget that this is a type of war – all is fair in love and war. 

Let’s put things this way: For example, you know that your guy can’t stand the fact that this other woman is nagging him about going out with his friends. 

The first impulse you have is to directly criticize her behavior. You want to tell him that she’s not right and you’d never treat him that way.

Wrong! If you do this, he’ll assume that this is just the jealousy talking.

He won’t believe in your honesty but think that you’re just trying to make her look bad. Which is exactly what you’re doing. However, he shouldn’t know that.

hombre y mujer hablando sentados en sillas al aire libre

So instead of this direct approach, let’s try something else. You were advised against mentioning this girl and this is exactly what you’ll continue to do. 

En este ejemplo concreto, ten paciencia y espera a que surja el tema de los celos o el comportamiento posesivo.

Or if that doesn’t happen, casually mention a situation your friend is in – of course, a situation you’ll make up. 

Either way, the point is that you’ll point out how you can’t understand women who are control freaks in their romantic relationships.

You’ll tell him how you enjoy your freedom and how you like it when your partner has friends.

I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. The bottom line is that you act completely clueless to the way the other woman behaves. 

However, you’re subtly painting a difference between the two of you. All of a sudden, you present yourself as his dream girl who has none of the flaws that annoy him most. 

6. Give him what she can’t

mujer sonriente mirando a un hombre sentado a la mesa

Now that you’re armed with information, this is the moment where you should use them to your own advantage. 

The bottom line is that you’re competing with this woman and the only way to defeat her is to give your man everything she can’t. 

Por ejemplo, si sabes que le falta atención, eso es exactamente lo que debería recibir de ti. 

Muchas mujeres cometen el error de intentar copiar la otra mujer . Don’t live your own life as her clone. Instead, do the opposite of whatever she’s doing. 

Y lo más importante, escuche a su hombre. Demuéstrale que todo lo que tiene que decir es importante y que prestas atención a sus necesidades. 

Fill the voids this girl has left. Trust me: This way, he’ll feel complete next to you and realize you’re just the girl he needs. 

7. Nunca te enfrentes a ella

mujer sentada en un sofá de cuero negro

When you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , you know you have to remove her from the equation, for the sake of happiness in your own life . 

After all, your triangle toxic relationship can’t carry on like this forever, can’t it? You want a relación comprometida con este hombre, lo que significa que sólo hay lugar para ustedes dos en esta historia.  

No, this doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that you’re putting yourself first and this is exactly what you should be doing. 

Así que el primer impulso que tienes es enfrentarte a ella. Ves a esta chica como tu enemiga. Incluso puedes empezar a odiarla. 

Tienes ganas de pelearte con ella y decirle que deje en paz a tu hombre. Quieres echarla de su vida, de una forma u otra, para que vosotros dos seáis felices. 

Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst mistakes you could ever think of making. By doing this, you’ll make her feel more relevant than she really is.

Also, you’ll show both of them that you feel threatened by her. You’ll give her power by showing her your insecurities.

mujer sosteniendo el teléfono mientras está sentado en el sofá

Besides, your man will see you as rude and impolite, thinking you have no manners and that you’re ready to ruin your dignity just to have him.

Naturally, he won’t appreciate you afterward, even if he happens to choose you over her .

Así que, por favor, sigue ignorándola. De hecho, sería genial si pudieras hacer algo sutil para provocar una reacción por su parte. 

This way, you’ll appear as the victim. You’ll be in a position to ask protection from your guy while she’ll look like a true villain who is trying to destroy your true love and romance. 

Al final del día , sería genial si pudieras hacer que esta chica renuncie a tu hombre.

Por ejemplo, puedes asegurarte de que ella piense que él quiere tener una relación duradera contigo y que ella no es más que una tercera rueda en vuestro romance perfecto. 

Sin embargo, incluso si decides hacer algo así, tienes que ser lo más sutil posible. 

Envíale indirectas a través de vuestros perfiles en las redes sociales o con la ayuda de vuestros amigos o conocidos comunes.

Don’t do anything directly and, whatever you do, don’t reach out to her, even if your life depended on it. 

8. Show him that you’re a unique mujer de alto valor

hombre y mujer haciendo contacto visual sentados en la hierba

If you want a guy to see you as committed relationship material, you have to make him understand that you’re one of a kind.

You have to make him realize that you’re special, unique, and high-value .

That you’re nowhere else to be found and that he’ll spend the rest of his life searching for you in other women if he makes the mistake of losing you or letting you go. 

So, don’t investigate the other woman you’re competing against now. Instead, widen your search to all other girls in his life. 

Intenta averiguar todo lo posible sobre sus ex novias (o sobre su ex mujer, si la tiene).

You don’t have to necessarily show him that you’re better than them – it will be enough to convince him that you’re different. 

Esto debería intrigarle lo suficiente como para que al menos le dé una oportunidad. Tendrá curiosidad por ver lo que puedes ofrecerle. 

Así que, por favor, haz todo lo posible por no mezclarte con la masa. Demuéstrale que destacas, de una forma u otra. 

Of course, in order to do this in a successful manner, you have to get to the bottom of your man’s personality. You see, not all men are fascinated by the same things. 

Sin embargo, a cada uno de ellos le encanta la singularidad y esto es exactamente lo que debes ofrecerle si quieres que te elija como la única mujer para él. 

9. Establecer una conexión con él

hombre hablando con mujer sentado en un sofá

Regardless of whether you two are in a short term or long term relationship (or if you’re in a relationship at all), please do your best to make a deep connection with this man. 

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to become friends with him without entering the friend zone. At the end of the day , this is what every man needs : a girlfriend who is also his friend. 

Suena complicado, lo sé. Pero es posible si juegas bien tus cartas.

When I say that you should be his friend, I’m not telling you to become one of his pals like his male friends. 

Don’t comment on other girls with him, don’t spend all of your time together watching football games and drinking beer, and definitely don’t act like a dude in front of him.

Instead, show him that you’re someone he can count on – that you’re the only person in this world who truly gets him.

hombre y mujer sentados en el suelo durante la puesta de sol

Sé la chica que lee su mente. La chica que presta atención a las cosas pequeñas y sencillas de su vida y escucha de verdad lo que tiene que decir. 

The girl who knows what he’s thinking just by looking at him. The girl who remembers everything he’s ever told her and appreciates him. 

Demuéstrale que la intimidad es mucho más que una actividad de alcoba. Muéstrale la belleza de de la mano y abrazos. 

Y lo que es más importante, demuéstrale el valor de tenerte cerca, pase lo que pase.

Convince this guy that you’re his soulmate. Make him believe that you’ve both spent your entire lives until this moment searching for each other. 

Show him that you’re his other half and that he needs your presence like the air he breathes. 

10. Ocupar su tiempo

hombre y mujer almorzando sentados a la mesa

When you want a girl out of your man’s life, for starters you can’t allow her to be physically present next to them. You know how they say: Out of sight, out of mind. 

Trust me, he’ll start to forget all about her the moment he spends less and less time with her. This is especially true if you’re around so he is not alone with his thoughts and has no time to think about her. 

I won’t lie to you. This is a difficult step when we’re talking about a coworker or someone he is friends with . 

Either way, what you should do is occupy your guy’s time as much as possible. Make sure he spends all of his free hours and days with you so he doesn’t get the chance to reach out to this other girl.

Nevertheless, this is where you have to play it smart. You can’t be too pushy because that will just chase him away.

La mejor opción posible sería hacer que te llamara. Busca la forma de manipularle para que sea él quien te llame primero. 

If that doesn’t work out, make excuses to be near him. Instead of directly calling him out on a primera cita pídele ayuda.

Call him to ask him to give you advice about some made up emergency you have. Tell him that you’re in the middle of nowhere and ask him to come because you have a flat tire.

Sería estupendo que supieras cuándo pasa tiempo con ella. Utiliza esta información y llámale a esa hora en concreto.

Sooner or later, she’ll get tired of your presence and will leave him, even if he doesn’t fall for your bait. 

11. Actuar como un reto

mujer sentada en el suelo cerca del mar

Men love challenges. There’s no doubt about that. Men love to feel like they’ve won you over due to their incredible courting skills. 

Well, this is how you should behave – like a challenge – because this is exactly what every guy needs in his life. No, this doesn’t only mean playing hot-and-cold games.

It means stepping back from him a bit the moment he thinks he’s sealed the deal. It means not being too available and never allowing this man to think that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does.

Basically, he can never be certain about you. Because if he is, he’ll assume that you won’t leave him and invest all of his energy into chasing this other girl. 

12. Muestra tu lado femenino

hombre abrazando a mujer sentado en un banco

Otra cosa que todo hombre necesita es sentirse un gran macho. Cada el hombre alfa necesita que su mujer lo vea como su salvador y protector.

You want to know how to make him choose you over another girl ? Show him your feminine side. Make him think that you’re vulnerable and that you need him to guide you through life. 

Of course, this is nowhere near the truth. However, trust me when I tell you he will be enchanted by the fact that you’re fascinated by him.

You see, men have a very fragile ego. Knowing this, you understand why it’s crucial to pump their ego and self-esteem in order for them to feel good about themselves. 

Al fin y al cabo, ya sabes cómo funcionan los cuentos de hadas. La princesa en apuros y el príncipe azul que acude a rescatarla. 

Bueno, esta es la ilusión que tienes que crear si quieres que este chico te elija a ti en lugar de a ella para una relación comprometida . Si es necesario, utiliza algunas mentiras piadosas para hacerle sentir mejor consigo mismo. 

Tell him that he’s the best man you’ve ever had. Convince him that you’d be lost without his help. 

Hagas lo que hagas, no pongas en peligro su masculinidad a cualquier precio. 

13. Ser positivo

mujer y hombre sonrientes sentados a la mesa y conversando

If you want a healthy relationship , you have to build it in a positive environment. Therefore, it’s about time to put a smile on your face and embrace optimism as your lifestyle.

I know that we all have moments when we’re negative or nervous. However, while you’re in the process of winning this man over, don’t let him see this side of you.

En lugar de eso, sé la luz para su oscuridad. Lleva el positivismo contigo allá donde vayas y sé tú quien tenga la capacidad de alegrar su peor día.

Créeme. A ningún hombre le gusta que te quejes. De hecho, cada vez que entras en este modo, deja de escuchar lo que tengas que decir y se desconecta por completo.

So, even if you want to call this guy on his actions, try to do so in a peaceful way. Don’t be the one picking fights all the time or be a drama queen.

En lugar de eso, ríete de sus bromas e intenta hacerle reír. Cuando se encuentre en una situación estresante, sé tú quien le diga que todo irá bien.

This way, your guy will connect the feeling of happiness with you. He’ll see you as the silver lining to his cloud. And who wouldn’t want that?

14. Luce lo mejor posible

hombre y mujer tomando cafe sentados a la mesa

Te guste admitirlo o no, la primera impresión que se llevan los chicos de ti se basa sobre todo en tu aspecto.

No, this doesn’t make them shallow. It’s just how things are: Every guy wants an attractive girlfriend.

Después de todo, tienes que considerar a un hombre físicamente atractivo y guapo antes de darle siquiera una oportunidad. Bueno, entonces no debería haber resentimientos cuando los chicos actúan de la misma manera.

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to conquistar a este hombre with your amazing personality and show him that you’re a high-value woman.

De momento, haz todo lo posible por dejarlo boquiabierto con tu aspecto de bomba. 

Basically, what you have to do is try hard to look your best whenever you know you’ll see the object of your interest. Dress your best, always have makeup on, and don’t forget to smell great.

Nevertheless, there is a hidden trick in all of this. The point is that he shouldn’t notice the effort you’re putting into your appearance. 

Yes, you’ll be in full makeup. However, it should all look natural.

Así que, en lugar de llevar pintalabios rojo en todas las ocasiones, elige un brillo de labios. En lugar de ojos ahumados durante el día, opta por sombras de ojos en tonos tierra.

hombre y mujer sonrientes haciendo contacto visual de pie al aire libre

The last thing you want is for this guy to think that you’re obsessed with your appearance. 

Trust me, most men will perceive you as “fake” if they see you’re going all out when it comes to makeup and clothes. 

En lugar de eso, quieres que asuma que ese es tu aspecto natural. 

The same goes for clothing. No matter what, always make sure you’re dressed for the occasion.

The thing is to never allow him to realize you’ve spent hours trying on different outfits until you’ve found your perfect one. 

Another important thing is to be perfectly aware of your imperfections. Don’t worry, we all have them and they certainly won’t prevent this guy from trying to chase you . 

Please, don’t allow your insecurities to ruin your entire looks. Instead, be smart enough to hide your flaws and highlight your most appealing features. 

Also, I’m begging you: Never look vulgar. You might think that you’ll attract your guy by showing too much skin, but trust me on this, that attraction is not a long term thing. 

Whatever you wear, don’t forget that you’re a lady.

15. Ponerle celoso

mujer sonriente usando el teléfono mientras está sentado cerca de un hombre

Finally, when you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , don’t forget to turn the tables a little bit. For a change, play a game . 

In your situation, he’s the desirable one. He’s the one who has two women fighting over him – the one in the position to choose. 

Well, show him that two can play that game. Show him that you’re also in high demand and dale celos

Make this man realize that he could lose you in no time if he doesn’t make up his mind and choose you for real. Show him that you have a lot of options open.

Hay hombres ahí fuera que quieren tener una relación sana contigo pero aquí estás, atrapada en este triángulo relación tóxica . 

I’m not saying that you should change your behavior and suddenly become promiscuous. 

However, it will be enough for him to see that other guys are trying to reach out to you and that your love life doesn’t depend solely on him. If nothing else, let him see that men are texting and calling you. 

Most importantly, show him that you won’t spend the rest of your life waiting for him to make the decision to break up with her. 

Demuéstrale que, por mucho que te preocupes por él, tu amor propio siempre será mayor que el que puedas sentir por él.

Guía para que te elija a ti antes que a otra mujer

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