Cómo no dejar que las cosas te molesten (15 maneras probadas)

How many times in your entire life have you heard: “Don’t let things bother you?” In fact, you hear it almost every time you get upset. 

Well, wouldn’t it be perfect if you had a switch in your brain that helped you turn off every possibility of stress?

Sadly, things don’t work like that in real life. In reality, figuring out how to not let things bother you is a journey.

Es un proceso que requiere mucha devoción, introspección, autocontrol, esfuerzo, tiempo y energía. Un proceso para hacerte más feliz. 

Well, luckily for you, we’re here to show you the way. Here to give you some great tips and to help you learn how to not let things bother you. 

Abrazar el arte de dejar ir

The number one step in the process of not allowing yourself to be bothered by every little thing in this world is by getting rid of all the emotional baggage that’s been weighing you down. 

Lo primero y más importante es suelta of the people who are doing you harm. Everything that is hurting you has its source and it’s your job to remove that source from your life. 

Often, it’s incredibly hard to cut ties with one close to you and this is especially true when it comes to your good friends and family members.

A veces, las personas han estado a tu lado desde que tienes uso de razón, por lo que te da miedo cortar lazos con ellas. Formas relaciones codependientes and you assume that you’ll be lost without them.

Si esas personas son las que te hacen sentir mal, tienes que dejar de tener contacto con ellas. 

You shouldn’t do it to make a point or in order for them to become scared of losing you.

Instead, you need to clear your life of everyone who doesn’t have a positive impact on you. Of everyone who has a bad vibe and who spreads negative energy. 

Otra cosa que tienes que aprender a dejar ir es todo lo que no estaba destinado a ser. Acepta que algunas personas tuvieron que dejarte y que tuviste que perder algunas cosas y oportunidades. 

Realmente no hay nada que puedas hacer al respecto ahora, así que no tiene ningún sentido que te devanes los sesos. Créame; dejarse llevar es el único camino para avanzar. 

Don’t hold on to the past

In most cases, when little things bother you, they’re not happening as we speak. In fact, you’re overwhelmed by a lot of people from and events that went on in your distant past. 

You can’t help but replay your entire life history back and forth in your head. Could you have reacted differently in some situations?

¿Por qué sucedió todo como sucedió en tu relación anterior? ¿Por qué tu ex te dejó sin terminar?

¿Podías haber dicho otra cosa mientras te peleabas con tu mejor amigo hace unos meses? ¿Deberías haber actuado de otra manera en esa situación la semana pasada?

Cada noche, antes de dormirte, éstas y otras preguntas similares te consumen. Piensas que todos tus problemas desaparecerían por arte de magia si tuvieras la capacidad de cambiar el pasado.

Well, let me tell you something: there is absolutely no way for you to do this so what’s the point of holding on to it?

Analizar el ayer es en vano. Basta con aprender de él y dejarlo atrás, donde pertenece.

Aferrarse al pasado significa dejar en suspenso tu vida presente. Te trae preocupaciones innecesarias y destruye tu salud emocional y mental. 

Cada día que pasas contemplando el pasado es un día que robas a tu futuro. Acepta que es inmutable y que esta práctica no sirve para crear un hoy mejor. 

When you think so much of the past, you’re just wasting your precious time and you’re not living your life right now.

As much as you dissect it, you won’t come to a different conclusion or make any difference. 

En lugar de eso, cambia tu enfoque y disfruta del presente. Concéntrate en el futuro y asegúrate de no repetir tus errores.

Ordena tus prioridades

When you’re trying to figure out how to not let things bother you, one of the crucial things you have to start doing as soon as possible is sorting out your priorities. 

Look, I’ll be honest with you. There doesn’t exist a person in this world who doesn’t worry about something.

All of us are bothered by some things, whether we admit it or not. In fact, it’s completely normal to feel this way; after all, you’re a human being and not a robot.

Sin embargo, la diferencia entre los que se preocupan en exceso y el resto radica en que estos últimos eligen sus batallas con cuidado y eso es exactamente lo que usted debe hacer.

Of course, there are a lot of people who deserve for you to be bothered about them. Nevertheless, you can’t give the same amount of energy to your closest family members and your compañeros de trabajo. 

Everyone has their own priorities, they know what is important and what is completely irrelevant. Your problem is that, in most cases, you can’t tell the difference.

Te estresas por haber estropeado tu camisa favorita o por haberte gastado demasiado dinero anoche o incluso por la mala mirada que te ha echado tu vecino esta mañana cuando os habéis cruzado.

I’m not saying that these exact examples have to necessarily apply to your life but you see where I’m going with this.

You lose your patience over irrelevant things that shouldn’t be anywhere near the top of your priority list.

Before you know it, you’re exhausted and you have no energy left to tackle what really matters. 

Tómate un tiempo para pensar cuáles son tus prioridades y céntrate sólo en ellas.

Utilice la regla de 5 en 5

There is this interesting rule that can apply to anyone in your situation. It’s called ‘the 5 by 5 rule’.

Basically, it says the following: If something won’t be important in five years, don’t waste more than five minutes bothered about it. 

Don’t misunderstand me here. There will definitely be some things you’ll get over in less than five years that are worth your trouble now. However, you will still be affected by these things in half of a decade now. 

I’m not here to tell you not to worry about losing your loved one, getting a divorcio o perder tu trabajo durante más de cinco minutos.

Yes, it would be ideal not to be so upset about these things either since you can’t change them but this is not how we humans work.

Instead, I’m referring to the stuff which you really won’t remember five years from now.

I promise you that your crush not liking your selfie or your friends hanging out without you won’t even cross your mind after a while.

Therefore, these kinds of things don’t deserve you to be hurt about them now either. 

Sé que, a primera vista, es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo. Sin embargo, si te esfuerzas, conseguirás que actuar así se convierta en un hábito; sólo hace falta un poco de práctica. 

So, the next time you catch yourself being bothered about something or someone, ask yourself whether this rule applies to this inconvenience. If it won’t affect your life in five years, do your best to brush it off. 

Si tienes problemas para hacerlo fácilmente, imagínate dentro de media década. No hay señales de este problema, ¿verdad?

Practicar la atención plena

En pocas palabras, la atención plena es una de las mejores formas de despejar la mente de todo el estrés y la energía negativa. Al mismo tiempo, también es una forma de preservar tu salud emocional y mental. 

Basically, it is a state in which you’re fully present in a given moment. A state in which you are not overwhelmed by the world around you.

Mindfulness te ayuda a ser más consciente de quién eres y de lo que necesitas y sientes. Te ayuda a tener una mejor perspectiva de las cosas y te da una visión de tu propia mente. 

Entre otras cosas, también es una forma práctica de hacer frente a la preocupación excesiva y a molestarse demasiado por cosas sin importancia. 

Existen numerosos tipos de prácticas de atención plena y la más popular es, sin duda, la meditación.

If you haven’t tried meditation before, start with short sessions, five or ten-minutes’ long. For starters, you don’t even have to buy a meditation pillow or chair; instead, just sit back and relax.

Busca la postura en la que te sientas más cómodo, cierra los ojos y respira profundamente. 

Se trata de alejar tu atención de los pensamientos negativos que te abruman.

Puedes concentrarte en el ritmo de tu respiraciones profundasPuedes contar hasta diez o poner música relajante. 

You may feel a tingling or you might become thirsty or hungry. This is nothing but your body’s reaction.

After so many hard times, you have got used to stressing out to the point where you can’t stand being still even for a few minutes.

Cuando eso ocurra, ignora esa sensación. Por otro lado, cuando sientas que una emoción se apodera de ti, reconócela, ponle nombre y déjala pasar sin darle importancia. 

You might think that this will serve you no good. However, trust me that after a while, you’ll see this practice as a reset and you’ll see significant progress.

Develop ‘big-picture thinking’

“Big-picture thinkers realize there is a world out there besides their own, and they make an effort to get outside of themselves and see other people’s worlds through their eyes.

It’s hard to see the picture while inside the frame.” – John Maxwell

El problema de preocuparse demasiado por las cosas pequeñas es que tienes la costumbre de observarlo todo sólo desde tu perspectiva.

Don’t beat yourself up about that because sadly, this is how most of us function.

Pues bien, este tipo de pensamiento no le llevará a ninguna parte. De hecho, en tu situación, solo hará que te preocupes aún más.

Por ejemplo, cualquier cosa que ocurra en tu vida, la ves como una tragedia. Cada mal día o mal humor es el fin del mundo para ti.

Little things bother you, you dwell on the sadness and anger and you assume that you’ll keep on feeling like this forever.

Cuando pierdes todo un día enfadado por algo, piensas que ya está y actúas como si no hubiera un mañana. 

Well, once you develop ‘big-picture thinking’, all of this will change. Once you stop focusing on the details and open your mind to different perspectives, you’ll change your point of view. 

Lo que tienes que hacer es observar tu vida con la mayor objetividad posible.

Is the thing you’re bothered by really worthy of your worries? Are you jumping to conclusions? Is there a real solution to your problem? 

Can this be fixed and if so, what you can do to resolve it? What would someone on the outside tell you to do? Is this really such a big deal or is it a minor concern that doesn’t really impact your life that much?

Once you get answers to all of these questions, I assure you that you’ll also find the answer to the question: “How to not let things bother you?”

Utilizar ejercicios de conexión a tierra

Cada vez que sientas ansioso about something, you’re actually trapped in your own mind. Every time you’re overly stressed and don’t see a way out, this is your brain playing tricks on you.

Well, since you’re the one in control of it and not the other way around, it’s time to find a coping mechanism and that is exactly what these grounding exercises are. 

For example, when you’re in a mal humor, you can create a so-called ‘happy thought’.

Whenever you feel like you’re about to be overly upset by something or when you’re just having a mal díaimagínate en un lugar feliz, fuera de todo este lío. 

Visualiza el momento en que se resolverá tu problema.

Un buen consejo profesional es que te imagines en tu dormitorio, donde te sientes más seguro, en tu lugar de vacaciones favorito o en la casa de tu infancia.

Otra forma de practicar estos ejercicios es tener un pensamiento de conexión a tierra.

For example, if you’re stressed out with your job environment, tell yourself that soon enough, you’ll find another job and that all of this will be long gone. 

If you’re out of money, tell yourself that a year from now, your financial situation will improve and you’ll get rid of all of your debts. 

Funciona de la misma manera para todas las posibles causas de estrés que puedas tener.

En pocas palabras, estos pensamientos de enraizamiento son una forma de reconfortarte.

This doesn’t mean that you’re running away from your problem; you’re just calming your mind and calming yourself down. 

Otras personas desarrollan mantras de conexión a tierra. Cada vez que te encuentres en una situación abrumadora, puedes contar hacia atrás o simplemente obligarte a respirar hondo unas cuantas veces. 

Saber que pensar demasiado te arruinará

Normalmente, los que se preocupan en exceso también pensar demasiado. You don’t let things take their own course and instead, you analyze everything to the core.

Before you take any step in your life, you think of all the possible outcomes, with a special focus on the negative consequences. In this scenario, it’s perfectly normal that you’re upset most of the time.

Lo mismo ocurre con tus relaciones sociales. Diseccionas cada movimiento que hace la otra persona y, en consecuencia, acabas encontrando algo por lo que molestarte. 

For example, when your best friend or a family member doesn’t return a phone call, you automatically assume that they don’t care for you enough or that they want you out of their life without any explanation.

Who wouldn’t be bothered about that?

This is especially true when it comes to your romantic relationships. Whatever your partner does, you conclude that they don’t love you enough and that they’re planning to break up with you.

Naturalmente, usted sigue preocupado por esta posibilidad. 

Bueno, déjame decirte que todos tus pensar demasiado te está arruinando y además, es completamente en vano.

Odio tener que decírtelo, pero cosas malas te seguirá ocurriendo, te guste o no.

If they are meant to be, they will be and you overanalyzing and overworrying won’t prevent anything. 

Instead of enjoying the present moment and living every day like it’s your last, you spend most of the time caged in your own mind.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not claiming that you should let your mind completely loose and that you shouldn’t think anything through. However, please don’t exaggerate. 

If you continue living like this, your overthinking will ruin you. It will help you create different scenarios in your head and you’ll end up paranoid. 

No seas un obseso del control

Actually, the number one cause of one’s overthinking which usually leads to worrying or being bothered is your desire to control everything and everyone around you.

Bueno, siento ser yo quien rompa tu burbuja, pero esta es la verdad: por mucho que lo intentes, no lo conseguirás. 

La única persona a la que puedes controlar es a ti mismo. Tienes la capacidad de controlar tus propias emociones y tu reacción ante el mundo que te rodea.

Therefore, when someone insults you, you can’t change their opinion of you. You can’t give them manners or force them to be different; that is up to them.

On the other hand, what you can control is your reaction to all of this. It’s your choice whether you’ll be bothered or upset or you’ll just brush it off. 

Please, accept this and stop fighting windmills because you can’t win. You can’t take command over every situation, nor should you try doing so.

Besides, remember that things will always turn out the way they’re meant to be. 

Saber que quejarse nunca mejora las cosas

Whenever you’re bothered or upset by something, your mind’s natural reaction is to talk about it. 

You will go around complaining about your problems to anyone you encounter, thinking that this approach will make your situation better. However, you’ll only achieve the opposite.

No, I’m not saying that you should keep everything bottled up and pretend that things are in perfect order, while tu vida se está desmoronando.

De hecho, no dudes en pedir opinión a tus allegados o incluso buscar asesoramiento profesional. 

Sin embargo, insistir una y otra vez sobre los mismos acontecimientos y las mismas personas, por mucho tiempo que haya pasado, no te traerá nada bueno. Por el contrario, quejarse sólo reabrirá tus heridas.

Cada vez que hablas de algo o de alguien que te hizo daño, you’re only reminding yourself of the pain you went through.

You’re not allowing your scars to heal and you’re reliving the same situation all over again. 

This way, you remain upset about this issue. You are not allowing your mind to move on and you’re the one preventing yourself from getting over your traumas. 

In fact, you are magnifying your problem that would probably have gone away by now. You’re deepening it and end up making a big deal about every little thing that has happened to you. 

Créeme, quejarse nunca mejorará las cosas. Por lo tanto, lo que tienes que esforzarte es encontrar un equilibrio entre quejarte y ventilación.

Por ejemplo, cuando te enfrentes a algún inconveniente, háblalo con alguien de confianza o repasa toda la situación contigo mismo.

Una vez que hayas llegado a una conclusión, deja de analizarlo y déjalo así. 

You can also try journaling. Write down everything that’s bothering you and find a pattern instead of blabbing about it without any closure. 

Adoptar la positividad

You might already realize that perspective is everything. Whenever something happens, it’s up to you to choose the angle from which you’ll observe it.

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation in which you’re going through a tough break-up. Naturally, you’ll be upset about losing someone you loved so much. However, you have a choice to make. 

Puedes lamentar tu triste destino y considerar que es lo peor que te ha ocurrido nunca.

You might think that you’ll never love someone again and that you’ll die alone. You might assume that you’ll be lost without this person by your side and even start seeing yourself as not meant to be loved. 

Por otro lado, puedes ver todo esto como tu oportunidad para algo nuevo y mejor. Puedes centrarte en las lecciones que te ha enseñado tu relación fallida.

Puedes elegir ser positivo al respecto. Usted tiene la opción de mirar hacia adelante a su futuro brillante y usted puede considerarse afortunado por el hecho de que usted se deshizo de su ex tóxico.

I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. This is the same situation, observed from two completely different points of view.

The first one is pessimistic and the second is optimistic and it’s up to you which one you will pick.

¿Te centrarás en las cosas que te molestan o te concentrarás en todo lo que va bien en tu vida?

¿Te centrarás en tus pérdidas o abrazar la positividad y mira todo lo que tienes y ganarás?

Will you think of yourself as miserable and unhappy every time something you don’t like happens? Or will you count your blessings and be thankful for each one of them? The choice is only yours. 

Comprender que la falta de límites invita a la falta de respeto.

Aunque en la mayoría de los casos tu insatisfacción procede de tu interior y de tus reacciones ante el mundo que te rodea, también hay ocasiones en las que no te queda más remedio que estar molesto y disgustado. 

There are times when you can’t seem to figure out how to not let things bother you because you’re being treated in a way nobody in this world could handle without feeling frustrated or distressed. 

In that case, you’re probably surrounded by the wrong people or by people who deal with you wrongly. 

The key here is to set healthy boundaries. Be clear about what type of behavior you’re okay with and what are the things you won’t put up with.

Todos tenemos distintos niveles de tolerancia. Mientras que a un amigo o a un compañero de trabajo le puede hacer gracia un comentario o un patrón de comportamiento, a ti te puede parecer insultante. 

That is why it’s crucial to have enough confianza en sí mismo ser verbal sobre lo que te parece aceptable y lo que te molesta.

Haz un poco de introspección y esfuérzate por comprender lo que te resulta cómodo y lo que te molesta.

Una vez hecho esto, asegúrate de que todos los que te rodean conocen tus límites.

Tener suficiente autoestima to not be scared of letting them know every time they hurt you or do something you don’t like. 

Don’t worry; this doesn’t make you weak. Actually, it is a sign that you’re strong enough to stand up for yourself and take care of your mental health. 

Don’t let your loyalty become slavery

Tienes una gran capacidad de empatía que te convierte en una persona increíble.

However, just because you have the ability to sympathize with others, it doesn’t mean that you should take on the burden of their problems onto your shoulders. 

Nevertheless, this is exactly what’s been going on lately. You’re concerned about everyone else’s tiempos difíciles and they bother you to the point that you’re constantly stressed out. 

You’re a amigo leal, there is no doubt about that. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to put your own well-being and emotions in first place. 

Helping someone in trouble is great. Nevertheless, once it becomes too much for you to handle, it’s perfectly okay to walk away in order to preserve your own sanity. 

I’m not saying that you should be selfish but you can’t allow everyone else’s concerns to become yours as well. You can’t keep on wasting all of your time and energy on the people around you. 

It’s not okay for you to feel constantly drained and exhausted about someone else’s issues. 

As much as you want to help out a good friend, a coworker or a family member, you don’t have a magic wand that will chase away all of their troubles. 

Remember, you’re under no obligation to salvar a los demás. You’re not responsible for finding solutions for each one of their problems. 

Saber que el perdón es la clave

It’s perfectly normal to be upset and hurt when someone you care for does you harm. However, you shouldn’t be feeling like this forever. 

Por lo tanto, el truco para deshacerse de estas emociones negativas es el perdón. Verás, mientras guardes rencor, te molestará la forma en que alguien te trató. 

You don’t have to forgive those who have done you wrong for their sake. In fact, you don’t have to welcome them back into your life either.

However, it would be nice for your own sake to get rid of this resentment that’s been eating you alive. Trust me; it’s the only way to liberate yourself and to clear your energy.

Sin embargo, lo más importante aquí es aprender a perdonarte a ti mismo. Sé amable con la persona que solías ser.

Perdónate a ti mismo por todas tus decisiones equivocadas y por todas las malas personas que dejaste entrar en tu vida. Perdónate por todos los malos pasos que diste en el pasado y recuerda que todos cometemos errores. 

Only once you do that will you stop being upset about the things you can’t change. Your past traumas will stop haunting you and you’ll become much happier and more relaxed. 

Recupera el poder sobre tu vida

Finally, it’s time to stop being bothered about what others might think or say about you. You’re a grown-up and you can’t allow someone’s nasty comment or insult to ruin your whole day. 

Remember, you depend on nobody but yourself. Whatever someone tells you, it shouldn’t affect you in any way whatsoever. 

None of these people have walked a mile in your shoes. They had no impact on your life so they shouldn’t affect your inner state either.

Your life is in your hands and you’re the only one who can make yourself happy. You have the power over your thoughts and feelings so don’t let others dictate them. 

En lugar de dejar que las cosas te molesten, trabaja en tu autoestima. ¿Por qué no empezar con un Reto de 30 días de amor propio? Remember your self-worth and don’t allow anyone’s comments to impact you. 

To sum up…

Conseguir que las cosas no te molesten es un proceso largo y difícil. Sin embargo, es posible.

I won’t lie to you; it’s unlikely that you’ll succeed on your first try. Nevertheless, practice makes perfect and before you know it, you’ll have saved yourself a lot of trouble. 

Once you achieve the peace of mind in which you’re completely unaffected by other people’s words and actions, you’ll see that all of this effort was worth it. Just be persistent and don’t give up.