un hombre toca el hombro de una mujer triste

Cómo perdonar a alguien que te hace daño continuamente (Plan de 15 pasos)

¿Cómo perdonas a alguien que te hace daño continuamente? ¿Es posible? ¿Dejará consecuencias negativas en tu salud mental? Las respuestas a estas y otras muchas preguntas se encuentran en el texto que sigue.

I know how it feels when you honestly love someone who keeps hurting you and doesn’t even show any signs of regret. You can’t let go of thempero simplemente sientes que no hay lugar en tu corazón para el perdón (o desamor).

Hay tres posibles escenarios que pueden darse en este tipo de situaciones. El primero es cuando una persona empieza a vivir con la esperanza de que su ser querido cambie y su relación mejore.

Pero, por desgracia, eso casi nunca ocurre. En keep forgiving someone who isn’t changing y que sigue haciéndoles daño.

By the time they realize it, they become emotionally drained and lost. They feel like they’re stuck in one place feeling powerless to do anything about it.

Another way people react in these kinds of situations is by holding on to unforgiveness. They make a promise to themselves that they’ll never forgive anyone again without being aware of how deeply unhealthy that is.

La falta de perdón es un veneno. It imprisons you and doesn’t allow you to be happy and enjoy your life. You simply become its slave, and it slowly starts ruining your life.

The third scenario, and the only right one, is when a person decides to forgive, but only for their own peace of mind. It really doesn’t have much to do with the other person.

Algunas personas simplemente deciden perdonar a quienes les hicieron daño porque saben que desprenderse de esas emociones negativas es bueno para su propio bienestar.

El acto de perdonar es verdaderamente poderoso porque tiene la capacidad de traerte esa libertad interior.

Cómo perdonar a alguien que sigue haciéndote daño: 15 claves para perdonar

¿Cómo perdonar a alguien que no deja de hacerte daño? ¿Es realmente necesario perdonarlos para poder seguir adelante? ¿Merece la pena? ¿Perdonar significa olvidar? Descubra las respuestas a estas preguntas en la siguiente guía.

Encuentre algún tipo de ritual tranquilizador

una mujer tranquila meditando en casa

Every time that person hurts you, find a way to calm down. Don’t react while you’re angry because that will most assuredly make you do or say something you’ll regret later.

Establish some kind of calming routine that will help you cope with that situation in the best possible way. Take deep breaths, meditate, enjoy some quiet time, pray to God, put your emotions on paper…

Haz todo lo que creas que puede ayudarte a tranquilizarte.

Reconecta contigo mismo

mujer pensativa con un café en la mano en la terraza

Olvídate de la otra persona durante un rato y vuelve a centrarte en ti mismo. You need to take care and improve your self-relationship. If you lose it, then that’s definitely something you won’t ever forgive yourself for.

Slow down and just try to hear what your body, your mind, and your soul are telling you. Pay close attention to that quiet, inner voice because that’s definitely the voice of reason.

Centrarse en el autocuidado

mujer relajándose en una bañera con los ojos cerrados

Make time for yourself. Start taking better care of yourself. Don’t let this dark time make you neglect the relationship you have with yourself.

Centrarse en tu autocuidado will help you relax, and it’ll definitely boost your mental health. You’ll also see how it’ll positively affect all areas of your life.

Ralentiza tu mente

la mujer angustiada sentada cerca del lago y tocándose la cara con desesperación

You’re coping with two processes right now; the process of forgiveness and the healing process. You’re feeling very drained and that’s completely normal. These kinds of things are never easy to cope and deal with.

Tienes muchas cosas en la cabeza. Piensas constantemente en tus heridas del pasado y te preguntas si debes seguir perdonando a esa persona que no deja de hacerte daño.

If you want to preserve your mental health, you need to clear your head. Stop thinking about it all the time and stop rethinking the decisions you’ve already made.

Stop thinking about the past because you can’t do anything about it. Pay attention to the present and work on fixing those things that you think you were doing wrong in the past.

Nunca reprimas tus sentimientos

mujer confundida hablando con un hombre en un café

Mantener reprimidas las emociones is the worst thing you can do in this situation. The fact is that sooner or later, those emotions will come to the surface and it’ll make things even worse for you.

Debes abrirte y hablar de tus emociones con tu ser querido. Estos problemas pueden resolverse mediante una comunicación honesta y razonable.

Not only will it help you deal with this situation, but it can also help you feel better. Even if you fail to make that person understand how much they’re hurting your feelings, you’ll feel instant relief because you’ll know that you tried.

Acepta todas tus emociones, incluso las más oscuras.

mujer llorando mirando a un lado y pensando

It’s perfectly normal to cry and feel sad when your loved one hurts you. It’s also normal when a family member or, let’s say, your mother-in-law offends you. It’s absolutely okay to feel disappointed when your friend betrays you.

We all experience some negative emotions in life and all of them are eager to be heard. That’s why we can’t and we definitely shouldn’t refuse to listen to them because they’ll backlash even harder.

Debes encontrar la manera de controlar y manejar tus sentimientos de forma saludable. Recuerda que tu crecimiento personal radica en aceptar las emociones negativas.

Asume la responsabilidad de tus sentimientos sin señalar con el dedo a nadie más. Elige convertirte en el héroe, no en la víctima de esta historia.

Sometimes, it’s better to be kind than to be right

amable mujer hablando con un hombre sentados uno cerca del otro en el sofá

You don’t deserve to be hurt continually by the person you love so much, I know. If they swear they love you, then they shouldn’t behave in such a way,

I completely agree with that. I know that most people would pursue revenge, but you don’t have to be like most people.

Learn to control your emotions and thoughts. Don’t allow them to control you and make you react in a way you would never normally do. Self-control is a virtue we all should have in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Nunca te vayas a la cama enfadado

mujer disgustada tumbada en la cama y pensando

Don’t ever go to sleep with those negative emotions. Even if you feel that you can’t forgive that person right away, pray to God before you go to bed and ask Him to forgive them.

La Biblia dice; “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”

The anger you feel is definitely destructive to your relationship with others, but it’s far more destructive to the relationship you have with yourself.

Comunicar, comunicar, comunicar

una mujer que mantiene una conversación sincera con un hombre sentado en la cafetería

How do you forgive someone who hurt you? Open up to the person who keeps doing things that are hurting you. Be honest and direct with them, and tell them how much you’re bothered by the way they treat you.

Don’t continue to be quiet about it and keep everything to yourself. It’ll only lead you to more resentment, which will deeply harm your mental health in the end.

The other person’s emotional numbness has probably endangered the emotional connection between you. The only way you can improve it or rebuild that emotional bond is through honest and healthy communication.

Don’t live in the past

mujer seria mirando hacia atrás mientras está de pie cerca del lago

Live in the present moment and don’t ever look at the past. You can’t do much about something that was already said or done.

Free yourself from those shackles of your past. You can’t keep looking back. Look forward and focus on your future, and don’t allow anyone to continue hurting you in the future.

Don’t play the blame game

una mujer y un hombre conversan seriamente en el parque

I know that person who is repeatedly hurting you is the one who should be blamed, but playing the blame game won’t do you any good.

Más bien deberías centrarte en buscar soluciones para arreglar tu relación con esa persona. Intenta ser más empático y menos crítico.

Culpabilización constante por turnos is never constructive. Train your mind to see something positive in every situation. For example, you can always learn a good lesson from these kinds of situations, and that’s something you should be focused on.

Understand that you can’t control others

una mujer triste sentada cerca de un hombre y pensando

Todos somos humanos comienza con la libertad de elección. Todos tenemos libre albedrío para comportarnos como queramos y hacer las cosas que queramos.

We can’t control other people and we shouldn’t even try to do it. When someone keeps hurting you, don’t try to change it by trying to control them. This can only backfire on you.

If a person continually hurts you, you just have to understand that they don’t love you the way you think. When someone loves you, I mean truly loves you, that person would never do anything that could hurt you on purpose.

Pedir ayuda a otras personas

dos amigas hablando sentadas cerca del lago

If all of this has become a little bit too much for you, you should seek help from a family member or another person you trust. Seek those people who love you and care for your well-being. They’ll always try to give you the right advice.

Even if you don’t need advice from anyone, it’s so much easier when we have someone to share our sorrows with. You can’t keep everything to yourself because that will deeply harm your emotional health.

Confide in someone. Find a shoulder to cry on. Reconnect with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to enlighten you about what you should do. These things will take the weight off your shoulders, and you’ll see how you’ll feel instant relief.

Reconectar con Dios

 mujer rezando con los ojos cerrados sentada en el sofá

You’re going through a hard time, and He’s the only one who can help you fight it. Get closer to God again and you’ll see how much your life will improve.

Encuentra respuestas en la oración. Confía a Dios todas tus penas y preocupaciones. Dale el control de tu vida y las cosas irán mucho mejor.

El asombroso arte de dejarse llevar

una mujer seria que se va de un hombre parado en la calle

¿Cómo perdonas a alguien que te hace daño continuamente? Simplemente sal de esa relación, deja ir los rencores, deja ir el pasado, y por último, deja ir a esa persona.

Por mucho que quieras a esa persona, nunca debes permitir que te maltrate, te falte al respeto o te haga daño repetidamente. Si permites que lo haga, la única persona a la que debes culpar por ello eres tú.

By forgiving someone who keeps hurting you and by repeatedly welcoming them in your life, you’re only giving them more chances to hurt you.

If you want to live a happier life, start letting go of grudges, negative feelings, and negative people who don’t deserve you.

¿Deberías perdonar a alguien que sigue haciéndote daño?

mujer pensativa caminando por el puente mientras el hombre se apoya en la barandilla detrás de ella

After going through this guide on how to forgive someone who continually hurts you, you can see that it’s not that hard to honestly forgive a person who keeps hurting you.

Sin embargo, una pregunta mejor es: ¿Deberías perdonarlos? ¿Merece realmente la pena?

We’re all human beings, and that makes us all weak a little bit. Not one of us is perfect, and I’m completely sure that there’s no person who has never made a mistake.

My granny would always say that only God is sinless and that’s an absolute truth.

Because we all make mistakes, we should also be able to forgive others. That very special lady, my grandma, would also always say that when God can forgive us all so many times, why can’t we do the same.

No importa cuántas veces peques, si te arrepientes sinceramente de ello y le pides a Dios que te perdone, Él lo hará. Él perdonará a cualquiera que realmente crea en Él y que se arrepienta sinceramente de sus malas acciones.

Dios ha querido hacernos comprender que debemos perdonar a los demás para vivir una vida más sana y plena porque la Biblia lo dice, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t even aware of the true power of forgiveness. Puede purificar nuestras almas y curar nuestros corazones. Tiene el poder de hacernos mejores seres humanos y hacer que nuestras vidas sean mucho más sanas y felices.

Numerosos estudios han demostrado que las personas que perdonan viven vidas más sanas y plenas que las que guardan rencor y resentimiento en lo más profundo de su corazón.

However, I know that it’s very hard to forgive someone who has repeatedly hurt you, even if that’s a person you honestly love. In that case, you really must reconsider first whether that person even deserves to be a part of your life.

You should forgive them, but only for your own peace of mind. However, the truth is that when someone keeps hurting you, that person doesn’t care at all for your feelings.

It’s proof they don’t respect you, and we all know that there’s no love where there’s no respect.

hombre y mujer cogidos de la mano sentados juntos en el sofá

You can’t spend your whole life forgiving someone who doesn’t even deserve you and trying to make yourself believe that person is going to change and that things will get better eventually.

In Ephesians 4:32 ESV, the Bible says, “Pay attention to yourselves!

If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Lo peor es que cuando una persona sigue haciéndote daño y tú sigues perdonándola, al cabo de un tiempo deja de disculparse y sólo espera que la perdones. Tu relación se vuelve tóxica y tu salud mental se arruina.

There should be some healthy boundaries and limitations in everything. The first time someone does you wrong and doesn’t show any sign of regret for their act, you need to reconsider their place in your life.

Once again, I’m not saying that you should hold onto unforgiveness because that’s deeply unhealthy and it’ll definitely harm your mental health. You’ll never be able to.

Forgive others as many times as needed, but do it only for your own well-being. However, don’t welcome those people in your life every time you forgive them. As I always say, forgive, but don’t ever forget.

Don’t come to the point of your life where you aren’t able to forgive yourself for allowing others to mistreat you. Don’t allow them to make you an accomplice in breaking your own heart over and over again.

Nunca permitas que esas emociones negativas envenenen tu alma y tu corazón sincero. Créeme, aferrarte al resentimiento y la amargura sólo puede poner en peligro tu salud mental y tu bienestar.

Remember that when it comes to forgiving others, it’s never about them, it’s actually about you and your own well-being.

La única forma de sentir esa paz interior es soltando todas las emociones oscuras y encontrando un lugar en tu corazón para perdonar a los demás, incluso a los que siguen haciéndote daño.

Conclusión

mujer mirándose al espejo y pensando

Espero que esta pequeña guía sobre cómo perdonar a alguien que te hiere continuamente te haya sido útil. Espero que mis palabras te hayan hecho encontrar un lugar en tu corazón para perdonar a los demás.

Un famoso psicólogo, el doctor Robert Enright, dice; “Our science shows that as people make the decision to forgive and follow a valid process of forgiving, then the one who forgives experiences considerable psychological relief, such as reduced anger, anxiety, and depression, and an increase in self-esteem.”

Muchos otros estudios han demostrado que las personas que son capaces de perdonar a los demás tienen vidas más plenas que las que se aferran a la falta de perdón.

Para aliviar tu alma y tranquilizar tu mente, tienes que perdonar a los demás y dejar atrás los rencores.

Always remember, you shall forgive others for your own peace of mind. It’s definitely an act you do for yourself, not for others. Be forgiving and merciful, but don’t ever allow someone to make a fool out of you.

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