Los impopulares consejos de un terapeuta sobre las citas que están provocando un drama

Hoy en día, las citas parecen un campo de minas. Intentas aprender todos los trucos y consejos que puedan ayudarte, pero cada vez te encuentras con opiniones diferentes.

Puede ser bastante frustrante encontrar la manera de navegar por las citas y las relaciones. when everyone seems to have some opinion today. I’ve also been confused too many times.

While one person advises you to behave a certain way, the other is saying that’s a major red flag. So who can I trust, damn it?!

¿Quieres saber la respuesta? Algunos de los mejores consejos se consideran bastante controvertidos. ¿Y quién es la persona más adecuada y fiable para hablar de esto si no es un terapeuta?

That’s why I want to share with you the most unpopular (but effective) dating tips according to the therapist Jeff Guenther. Comenzó su vídeo ¡con el consejo más controvertido!

1. If it’s meant to be, sleeping with them on a first date won’t change anything

If you never heard people saying you shouldn’t sleep with someone on a first date you’ve probably been living under a rock! This became like an unwritten rule but turns out it’s complete nonsense!

Jeff dice:

“A relationship is gonna happen whether or not you bang the first time you go out together. Sleep with them or don’t sleep with them, it makes no difference”

I think I agree with him. Sleeping with someone on a first date won’t ruin your chances of developing a serious relationship as many believe. In the same way, not sleeping with them will not guarantee you’ll end up having your happily ever after story. 

Sin embargo, no todo el mundo está de acuerdo en que sea un buen consejo:

“Sleeping with someone on a first date has made me attach to people too quickly, in my experience.”

Por otro lado, muchas personas admitieron en los comentarios que su aventura de una noche se convirtió en una relación duradera e incluso en matrimonio en algunos casos. Una mujer comentó:

“Slept with my partner on the 1st date and we’ve been together now almost 13 years 🥰”

Ahí lo tienes. Que sepas que si alguien está realmente interesado en ti y quiere comprometerse, no tienes nada de qué preocuparte. 

2. It’s okay to be direct and open about your needs early on

Hay quien piensa que puede asustar a su pareja si le habla de sus necesidades y expectativas demasiado pronto. Pero en realidad a great way to see if they’re the right person for you. 

explica Jeff:

“Being direct about your expectations allows your date to either show that they can step up or they can’t. Great data to gather right from the start!”

Una mujer siguió este consejo y le fue muy bien:

“True! the moment I told this guy what I want, he delivers. so, I know now this is going somewhere.”

You can’t say this isn’t smart! It’s absurd to expect that someone magically knows everything we want and need, so why not say it loud and clear? If they have a problem with it, then they’re probably not a good match. So, let’s not waste each other’s time and see if we’re on the same page!

3. Deja que conozcan a tus amigos tan pronto como quieras

Many say letting your date meet your friends is a serious big step you shouldn’t make if you’re not 100% sure about them.

Jeff explica por qué deberías replanteártelo:

“Invite them around your friends as soon as you want and ask your friends if they felt like you were acting like your authentic self around them.”

Una mujer dijo su cita la sorprendió gratamente invitando a su grupo de amigos en su segunda cita. Ella comentó:

“I’m currently seeing a guy I met on Hinge and the second time we hung out, his entire friend group came! I thought it was sweet actually! It made me immediately cut off all of my other options!”

Isn’t this a really good idea? Others can sometimes see things more clearly than you can, especially if you have butterflies in your stomach. Have your friends observe the vibe and if you’re acting how you normally would to find out if they’re right for you. 

4. “If they wanted to, they would” mindset is not the best 

While this is a motto some people live by, others agree with the therapist that it’s just an unrealistic expectation. He thinks things are more complicated than that:

“‘If they wanted to, they would’ is too simplistic and black and white, and doesn’t allow for any nuance. Someone may really want you but not be super forward about it for a million reasons.”

It’s important to realize it takes time to build a connection and deserve someone to go above and beyond for you. Tienes que dar a la gente la oportunidad de demostrarte quiénes son y lo que están dispuestos a hacer por ti. 

Algunas personas en los comentarios estaban de acuerdo con este punto:

“‘If they wanted to they would’ but you’ve never told them what you want/need is soooo dumb.”

Otra mujer añadió:

“Yes! I hate that “if they wanted to they would” I get why it’s a saying. But, not always the case.”

Sé sincero. Esta visión de un terapeuta probablemente te haya hecho replantearte muchas cosas, ¿verdad? Es una prueba más de que nunca te equivocarás si confías en tu instinto ¡y haciendo lo que tu corazón te dice que hagas! 

¿Qué opina de estas opiniones? ¿Son válidas o no?