Cuando te fuiste me sentí desolado, pero ahora me siento aliviado.

When you left me, you brought to life one of my biggest fears. I didn’t know what to do with my life, thinking it had come to its end. I had no purpose and no meaning left. I was completely consumed by this pain you caused me and I couldn’t move from the spot where you left me.

Si en aquel momento alguien me hubiera preguntado cuál era una de las cosas más dolorosas de experimentar, el desamor habría encabezado sin duda mi lista.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you by my side. Tu partida me rompió de muchas maneras.

Y me dolió hasta los huesos. Pensé que nunca sería la mujer que solía ser y que nunca me recuperaría de todo el dolor que me causaste.

Estaba segura de que moriría.

And then, with time, it got a lot easier. I don’t know how it happened or when it happened but I just know I woke up one morning without the feeling that my chest would burn out. I didn’t have the feeling I would break into pieces every second and I could finally breathe properly.

It didn’t mean I was completely over you but it was definitely something. It was the beginning of my recovery. It was when I realized that time would heal my wounds and when I became determined that there would come a moment when I’d be over you.

Y después de mucho tiempo, por fin llegó ese momento. Me ha costado mucho tiempo y paciencia llegar hasta aquí, pero lo he conseguido. Por fin puedo decir que soy finalmente, realmente sobre ti. I don’t love you nor do I hate you—Me es completamente indiferente.

But what is even more important is that I feel like I’ve gotten rid of this huge burden. When you first left me, I felt like the entire world’s weight had fallen on my shoulders, and now I feel like I’ve gotten rid of it. I feel relaxed, liberated and free.

Me siento aliviado.

And I am not only relieved because I surpassed the pain I was feeling all along. I never thought I’d be the one to say it but I am relieved you are in not in my life anymore.

Por fin me di cuenta de lo mal que me trataste mientras estuvimos juntos. Por fin me di cuenta de lo negativamente que me influiste.

Me di cuenta de que en realidad era su prisionero. Although you didn’t keep me physically locked inside, you caged my mind and soul. Tus juegos mentales eran tan fuertes que realmente sentía que estabas dentro de mi cabeza.

I didn’t know it back then but I see it now. Veo lo controlador y manipulador que eras en realidad. Por fin veo tu toxicidad.

I see how you ruined years of my life and how you could’ve ruined the rest of it, if you’d stayed by my side.

I see that I was actually afraid of you. I didn’t sobrevivir a los malos tratos físicos de ti, pero de alguna manera te las arreglaste para hacerme vivir con miedo. No importaba lo que hiciera, tu posible reacción era el único pensamiento que pasaba por mi cabeza. Ahora sé que nunca estuve totalmente relajada mientras estuve contigo.

And since you left, all of this stopped. Yes, you left me alone but that actually meant I didn’t have anyone to judge every move I made, to constantly try to put me down and criticize me. I didn’t have anyone to patronize me and to feed my insecurities. I didn’t have anyone ruining my confidence and holding me back.

Ahora, sin ti a mi lado, Por fin puedo ser libre and I don’t have to be afraid of anything anymore. Now that I’ve finally gotten out of this mental cage you put me inPuedo tomar mis propias decisiones, sin preocuparme de lo que pienses de ellas.

Por fin puedo disfrutar de cada aliento que tomo y por fin puedo vivir mi vida al máximosin ser abusado emocionalmente, manipulado y chantajeado.

And that is the most liberating and relieving feeling there is. Even though I thought I’d never say this—Me alegro de que te hayas ido.