No puede tener un matrimonio perfecto, pero esto es lo que puede hacer para prosperar

I was always excited about marriage, even when I was a kid. And who wouldn’t be excited when all the movies I’ve watched, and books I’ve read presented marriage as this perfect union of two people? 

But then I got married and things weren’t exactly perfect. I was disappointed thinking maybe we weren’t meant for each other since we sometimes had problems and arguments.

So as any couple who doesn’t want to divorce does, we went to a counselor. Oh, he really slapped us in the face with a reality check. 

“Wait, you think what media and those couples on IG show is real?”nos preguntó el consejero.

“Well, they said they never argue, and they also seem pretty much perfect,” dijimos.

“Do you go around telling people about negative things in your marriage? I don’t think so. You can’t trust these unrealistic expectations! No one’s marriage is perfect, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” respondió, dejándonos estupefactos. 

Tras este baño de realidad, compartió cosas que todos podemos hacer para que nuestro matrimonio prospere while not worrying about being perfect since that’s not possible anyway. 

Tienes que aceptar tus diferencias

Every person is unique and even two identical twins aren’t 100% the same. So considering the differences we have, it’s impossible to agree on every little thing. Couples in movies made it seem so easy but my partner and I soon realized that our marriage isn’t scripted.

Our counselor’s advice was like a wake-up call: “If you want to make it work you need to celebrate your differences, not hide them.” Entonces nos dimos cuenta. 

Aprender a celebrar las cosas que nos hacen únicos wasn’t just about accepting the differences we have, it was about changing our whole mindset and learning that they actually make us stronger. 

If you and your spouse have different cultural or religious backgrounds and different personalities, that doesn’t mean you’re not compatible. Sólo tienes que encontrar una manera de llegar a un acuerdo. cuando tengáis opiniones opuestas, pero también abriros a aprender más el uno del otro.

Todo se reduce a una comunicación abierta

At the beginning of our marriage, we used to have a lot of unnecessary conflicts over stupid misunderstandings. If we only knew how to communicate effectively with one another we would’ve avoided a lot of fights. 

Lo más importante es dejar a un lado el ego y el orgullo. Sólo así podrás comunicarte correctamente y ver las cosas con claridad.

En cuanto cambiamos eso, nuestras acaloradas discusiones se convirtieron en tranquilas discusiones en las que nos open to understanding each other’s perspectives. We realized that a perfect marriage doesn’t exist in real life.

Sin embargo, puedes esforzarte por tener uno intentando resolver los desacuerdos pacíficamente en lugar de hacer un elefante de una mosca. Also, bottling up your emotions won’t lead you anywhere good, so remember to always speak your mind. 

La clave está en el apoyo y la empatía 

Once you learn how to communicate and actively listen to your spouse, you’ll see there’ll suddenly be more understanding and empathy in your marriage. 

You can’t be supportive of one another if you don’t even try to understand their point of view and their feelings. Being supportive isn’t only important when they’re winning in life. It’s actually more important when things go south. 

Whether it’s work issues, family drama, or any life crisis, you need to stand by each other’s side. When there’s a problem you might want to offer them a solution and think you’re done but sometimes your partner just wants you to be present emotionally.  

Esto reforzará sin duda su vínculo y hará que su matrimonio sea más resistente. Once you realize that the myth of the perfect marriage is false, you’ll feel liberated. There’s no point in trying to meet an unrealistic standard that no one is close to. 

Sweeping problems under the carpet won’t make others think your marriage is perfect. It will only create more opportunities for issues even your counselor might not be able to resolve. 

Deja de comparar tu relación con lo que ves a tu alrededor y recuerda que un matrimonio no está hecho para ser perfecto. It’s supposed to be constantly evolving and changing and there’s nothing wrong with that!