Eres una lección que desearía no haber aprendido nunca

¿Oyes eso? Ese es el sonido de mi corazón rompiéndose porque me traicionaste de la peor manera posible.

Me diste la esperanza de que me amarías, sin ninguna intención de hacerlo. ¿Cómo pudiste hacerme eso? ¿Cómo pudiste hacerle algo así a la mujer que te amaba más que a sí misma?

I admit it—it was my biggest mistake but I can’t turn back time. I can just learn a lesson from the shitty behavior you showed me.

Hiciste todo lo que estuvo en tu mano para alejarme una vez que mostré interés por ti. Alejaste a la chica que realmente quería ser tuya.

You see, I didn’t want the moon and the stars. I just wanted you to love me like I loved you. I just wanted you to try as hard as I was trying. I just wanted you to fight for me, but you couldn’t even do that.

Todo lo que siempre quise fue tu amor.

Incluso acepté todos tus defectos y tu equipaje del pasado. Intenté comprenderte cada vez que tenías problemas y estuve ahí para abrazarte y decirte que todo iría bien.

I don’t know if that helped you, but I gave my best to make you feel better. I gave it all for the man I loved but who couldn’t love me back. And that was all I wanted all the time.

Tomar tu mano con orgullo y mostrarte al mundo en lugar de reunirme contigo a escondidas en sucias habitaciones de hotel. Pero acepté todo eso porque pensé que cambiarías.

Pensé que mi amor te cambiaría. Pensé que verías cuánto amor y cariño había en cada caricia, en cada beso, en cada abrazo. Pero como siempre, te perdiste de ver eso.

Nunca recibí el trato que merecía y siempre me conformaba con menos de lo que merecía porque te quería.

Sólo quería que me trataras con respeto.

So tell me, did I ask too much from you? Was it too much to ask the man I loved to treat me like I deserved to be treated? You know that I never asked anything that you couldn’t give me.

I didn’t ask for diamonds and stars. I just asked for your love and some respect—respect that would make me stay. I just wanted to see you trying as hard as me. If you had tried a little bit harder, maybe we would have made it then.

¡Pero eso fue demasiado para ti!

You had some twisted idea of love in your head that didn’t make any sense. You wanted me to give you the girlfriend benefits while you didn’t give me boyfriend benefits at all.

I was good only when I was sleeping with you, but when I wanted to meet the people that are important to you, you didn’t have the guts to admit to them that we were dating.

Even if I deserved all the relationship benefits, you never gave any to me. You weren’t ready to do anything for me, even if I did even the impossible for you. You didn’t care about me at all. But you should have.

You didn’t want to accept me.

You always wanted to change me and to mold me into someone who was a ‘novia perfecta’ according to your taste. With you, I experienced an almost love—the type when you don’t know if you are with someone or not.

You were keeping me close because that was convenient for you, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to commit fully because you were scared. And trust me, there was nothing to be scared about. But you missed seeing that.

Echabas de menos ver a una mujer frente a ti con el corazón en la manga. La que se estremecía cada vez que te veía. Una chica que era mucho más de lo que te merecías.

You didn’t want to put me first.

For you, I was always a second option—a girl who will be there when everyone else abandons you. The one who doesn’t ask much but kisses and hugs you every time life slaps you.

Fui la chica que se quedó a tu lado incluso cuando las cosas iban tan mal que cualquier otra persona probablemente se habría marchado si estuviera en mi lugar. Pero estuve a tu lado. Y todo lo que hice, lo hice por los dos.

Too bad that you never saw that. But maybe you didn’t want to see, right? Because it was much easier to close your eyes to the good things I did for you because you could convince me that you owed me nothing after all.

¿Y sabes qué fue lo peor? En realidad pensaste que siempre estaría ahí, mendigándote migajas de tu amor. Pero estabas muy equivocado.

Me cansé de ser el único que lo intentaba.

Admit it—you were actually okay with losing me. You thought that there are other girls who are much better than me and will give you the love and affection I gave you.

You didn’t even want to fight for me when I wanted you to do that. You were indifferent the whole time. And that is exactly the opposite of love. When you are indifferent, you feel the same whether someone is there or not.

You don’t need that person like the air you breathe. But too bad that I needed you even more than the air I was breathing. I needed you more than I have ever needed anything in my life. And you not giving a damn about me was something that made my whole world fall apart.

The day when you didn’t choose me, you actually lost me. Me perdiste para siempre and there wasn’t a way that you could bring me back.

Por mucho que quisiera quedarme, me alejabas.

Me alejaste cada vez que tuve que rogarte que me escucharas. Me alejaste al no preocuparte por mí cuando más te necesitaba.

Me alejaste con tu indiferencia y falta de amor. Me alejaste sin intención de luchar por mí y reconquistarme.

So I am asking you: “Are you happy now?”

En realidad perdiste a una chica que quería ser tuya.

Y sólo quería tu amor y tu afecto. Quería que me miraras y pensaras que tienes mucha suerte de tenerme. Quería que admiraras las cosas que hago y que me dijeras que estabas orgulloso de mí.

I didn’t want those bad words from your mouth. I didn’t want gaslighting, lying and manipulation. But unfortunately, that was all I got from you. I never got the unconditional love I craved so much.

I never got all those magical moments that people in love have the chance to experience. You didn’t know to provide me with the only thing I needed from you—love!

After you realize that you won’t have a girl like me anymore, you will try to find me in every other woman but you won’t find me. No woman will treat you like I did, look at you with admiration and proudness and no one will ever put you first like I did.

Ninguno de ellos se quedará contigo cuando les muestres tu verdadero rostro. Eso es algo de lo que sólo yo era capaz.

Pero la conclusión es que en realidad tengo que darte las gracias por esta lección.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have realized how strong I was. I would never have started cherishing myself enough to start a new chapter of my life with someone who is worthy of my love and everything that I can give.

So, if you ever see me again don’t look at me like I was shattered. I am just a breathtaking mosaic of the battles I’ve won!