Sei una lezione che vorrei non aver mai imparato

Lo senti? È il suono del mio cuore che si spezza perché mi hai tradito nel modo peggiore possibile.

Mi hai dato la speranza che mi amerai, senza alcuna intenzione di farlo. Come hai potuto farmi questo? Come hai potuto fare una cosa del genere alla donna che ti amava più di se stessa?

I admit it—it was my biggest mistake but I can’t turn back time. I can just learn a lesson from the shitty behavior you showed me.

Hai fatto di tutto per allontanarmi una volta che ho mostrato interesse per te. Hai allontanato la ragazza che voleva davvero essere tua.

You see, I didn’t want the moon and the stars. I just wanted you to love me like I loved you. I just wanted you to try as hard as I was trying. I just wanted you to fight for me, but you couldn’t even do that.

Tutto ciò che ho sempre voluto è il tuo amore.

Ho persino accettato tutti i tuoi difetti e i tuoi bagagli del passato. Ho cercato di capirti ogni volta che avevi dei problemi ed ero lì per abbracciarti e dirti che tutto andrà bene.

I don’t know if that helped you, but I gave my best to make you feel better. I gave it all for the man I loved but who couldn’t love me back. And that was all I wanted all the time.

Prendere la tua mano con orgoglio e mostrarti al mondo invece di incontrarti in segreto in sudice stanze d'albergo. Ma ho accettato tutto questo perché pensavo che saresti cambiato.

Pensavo che il mio amore ti avrebbe cambiato. Pensavo che avresti visto quanto amore e affetto c'erano in ogni tocco, in ogni bacio, in ogni abbraccio. Ma, come sempre, non te ne sei accorto.

Non ho mai ricevuto il trattamento che meritavo e mi sono sempre accontentato di meno di quello che meritavo perché ti amavo.

Volevo solo che mi trattassi con rispetto.

So tell me, did I ask too much from you? Was it too much to ask the man I loved to treat me like I deserved to be treated? You know that I never asked anything that you couldn’t give me.

I didn’t ask for diamonds and stars. I just asked for your love and some respect—respect that would make me stay. I just wanted to see you trying as hard as me. If you had tried a little bit harder, maybe we would have made it then.

Ma questo era troppo per te!

You had some twisted idea of love in your head that didn’t make any sense. You wanted me to give you the girlfriend benefits while you didn’t give me boyfriend benefits at all.

I was good only when I was sleeping with you, but when I wanted to meet the people that are important to you, you didn’t have the guts to admit to them that we were dating.

Even if I deserved all the relationship benefits, you never gave any to me. You weren’t ready to do anything for me, even if I did even the impossible for you. You didn’t care about me at all. But you should have.

You didn’t want to accept me.

You always wanted to change me and to mold me into someone who was a ‘fidanzata perfetta’ according to your taste. With you, I experienced an almost love—the type when you don’t know if you are with someone or not.

You were keeping me close because that was convenient for you, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to commit fully because you were scared. And trust me, there was nothing to be scared about. But you missed seeing that.

Ti è mancato vedere una donna davanti a te con il cuore in mano. Quella che tremava ogni volta che ti vedeva. Una ragazza che era molto più di quanto tu meritassi.

You didn’t want to put me first.

For you, I was always a second option—a girl who will be there when everyone else abandons you. The one who doesn’t ask much but kisses and hugs you every time life slaps you.

Sono stata la ragazza che è rimasta con te anche quando le cose andavano così male che qualsiasi altra persona probabilmente se ne sarebbe andata al mio posto. Ma sono rimasta accanto a te. E tutto quello che ho fatto, l'ho fatto per entrambi.

Too bad that you never saw that. But maybe you didn’t want to see, right? Because it was much easier to close your eyes to the good things I did for you because you could convince me that you owed me nothing after all.

E sai qual è stata la parte peggiore? Hai pensato che sarei sempre stata lì, a elemosinare briciole del tuo amore, ma ti sbagliavi di grosso.

Mi sono stancato di essere l'unico a provarci.

Admit it—you were actually okay with losing me. You thought that there are other girls who are much better than me and will give you the love and affection I gave you.

You didn’t even want to fight for me when I wanted you to do that. You were indifferent the whole time. And that is exactly the opposite of love. When you are indifferent, you feel the same whether someone is there or not.

You don’t need that person like the air you breathe. But too bad that I needed you even more than the air I was breathing. I needed you more than I have ever needed anything in my life. And you not giving a damn about me was something that made my whole world fall apart.

The day when you didn’t choose me, you actually lost me. Mi hai perso per sempre and there wasn’t a way that you could bring me back.

Per quanto volessi restare, mi hai respinto.

Mi hai allontanato ogni volta che ho dovuto implorarti di ascoltarmi. Mi hai allontanato fregandotene di me quando avevo più bisogno di te.

Mi hai allontanato con la tua indifferenza e la tua mancanza di amore. Mi hai allontanato senza l'intenzione di lottare per me e di riconquistarmi.

So I am asking you: “Are you happy now?”

Hai davvero perso una ragazza che voleva essere tua.

E volevo solo il tuo amore e il tuo affetto. Volevo che mi guardassi e pensassi che sei così fortunato ad avermi. Volevo che ammirassi le cose che faccio e che mi dicessi che eri orgoglioso di me.

I didn’t want those bad words from your mouth. I didn’t want gaslighting, lying and manipulation. But unfortunately, that was all I got from you. I never got the unconditional love I craved so much.

I never got all those magical moments that people in love have the chance to experience. You didn’t know to provide me with the only thing I needed from you—love!

After you realize that you won’t have a girl like me anymore, you will try to find me in every other woman but you won’t find me. No woman will treat you like I did, look at you with admiration and proudness and no one will ever put you first like I did.

Nessuno di loro resterà con te quando gli mostrerai il tuo vero volto. È una cosa che solo io ero in grado di fare.

Ma il punto fondamentale è che devo ringraziarvi per questa lezione.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have realized how strong I was. I would never have started cherishing myself enough to start a new chapter of my life with someone who is worthy of my love and everything that I can give.

So, if you ever see me again don’t look at me like I was shattered. I am just a breathtaking mosaic of the battles I’ve won!