8 cosas que pasan cuando conoces a un buen chico después de una relación narcisista

Liberarse de una relación narcisista es difícil.

Te acostumbras a aguantarle amándose a sí mismo y a nadie más. Te acostumbras a ser siempre la segunda opción y a no recibir ni de lejos la atención que mereces.

You get used to that kind of behavior and, sadly, you don’t do anything about it. Not until things go too far and beyond repair.

En los momentos en que te da migajas de atención, te das cuenta de que vuestra relación debería haber sido así todo el tiempo y, lamentablemente, la vuestra no lo es. Lo único que tenéis en común es que los dos queréis a la misma persona.

That’s why being in a healthy relationship can feel completely strange to you. Here are some of the things that can happen to you when you meet a good guy after a narcissistic relationship:

1. Sabe que hay más en ti de lo que parece

Es una sensación completamente nueva y extraña. Él confía en ti. Tu última relación te hizo dudar de ti misma y de todas las decisiones que tomaste.

But now you’ve met a person who knows you can do anything that you set your mind to.

This new feeling you’re experiencing makes you feel awkward because you are not used to being treated the way you deserve.

2. Quiere que confíes en él

He knows that you’ve been in a relationship where your voice hasn’t been heard. He knows that you are living with a fear of history repeating itself.

That’s why he is patient with you. That’s why he gives you time to surrender to him and trust in him. It’s no surprise that you lost the ability to trust people—your ex made you believe that. This new guy knows that and he is working his way up to prove himself trustworthy.

And what’s more important, he’s letting you learn to trust yourself again.

3. Te trata como te mereces

Es amable contigo todo el tiempo. Hace las cosas más sencillas que nunca antes habías experimentado.

You’ve been atrapado en una relación egoísta and you didn’t even think about what it would be like if your guy did something for you for a change.

But now that you have it, you don’t know how to react.

4. He pays attention to what you’ve got to say

In your last relationship, it was all about him. The only word you’d been hearing all that time was ‘I’; I did that, I was there…

Pero esta vez no. Tienes derecho a hablar cuando quieras y, definitivamente, tienes derecho a decir lo que quieras sin miedo a oír que eres estúpido o a ser juzgado.

Your new boyfriend will listen to you. Your words will have meaning to him. He will be interested in what you’ve got to say.

He wants to hear all about you and your past. He wants to know what you like and don’t like. He wants you to share your life with him.

5. Se disculpa

Estás acostumbrado a disculparte todo el tiempo for pretty much anything just to avoid arguments—although sometimes these things got out of control and you almost fought to the death until someone walked away. And when you or he cooled off, life continued.

That emotional roller coaster becomes normal—you enter an endless routine from which you can’t get out. But it’s different with this guy. Of course, you will fight because everyone fights.

But the one thing that is going to leave you speechless is that he’s going to say those three little words: “I was wrong.”

6. Te dará el mundo

You were always going the extra mile to suit the narcissist—but you got nothing in return.

Pero ahora hay alguien que te sorprenderá con flores sin motivo y que te llevará a citas y te tratará como a una reina.

And all that with no hidden motives. He doesn’t need anything from you. He just loves you. It’s as simple as that.

7. No es manipulador

Narcissists are men who like to be in control. But no one can control every part of their life and that’s when these guys lose it and take it out on others.

That leaves you walking on eggshells around him, being careful not to say something ‘wrong’.

When you enter a normal, healthy relationship, you learn that such behavior is non-existent. You learn that relationships are all about compromise and that there are two voices to be heard—not one.

8. Te enseña lo que es realmente el amor

Te das cuenta de que amor verdadero is mutual respect. You realize that real love is genuinely caring for someone. Then you realize that your last relationship wasn’t about love. It was all a charade—it was a trap. He made you think you loved him.

You realize what real love is when you wake up next to someone who treats you better—someone who treats you the way you deserve.

Eso hace que te preguntes cómo has podido tolerar algo menos que el tratamiento que tienes ahora.

But you don’t feel ashamed and you don’t pity yourself. You are proud of yourself because it takes a strong woman to break free from a narcissistic relationship.