Aprender a amar de nuevo: 12 maneras probadas de reabrir tu corazón
When you’ve been heartbroken and hurt in the past, learning to love again is the most difficult thing you can imagine yourself doing.
You’ve given up on the idea of ever finding your soulmate and you think that the only way to save yourself from another heartbreak is to shut your heart off completely and never put yourself out there.
Aprender a volver a amar is basically all about leaving your past and everything you’ve been through behind and trusting someone new not to make you go through the same pain all over again.
Suena valiente, ¿verdad? Pues sí que lo es.
Sin embargo, una vez que por fin encuentras a la persona adecuada, todo el esfuerzo merece la pena.
You’re happy when you manage to tear down your walls and that you have the bravery to reopen your heart.
Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, lo sé. No obstante, aquí tienes una guía paso a paso para lograrlo.
12 maneras de aprender a amar de nuevo
1. Recuerda todos los beneficios del amor verdadero
Don’t get me wrong—there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. However, you don’t have to sentence yourself to a life of solitude just because you’ve been hurt in the past.
Yes, love can hurt you—there is no doubt about that. However, instead of constantly focusing on its bad sides, remember all the benefits of amor verdadero.
El amor te hace sentir seguro, mejora tu salud mental y física y hace que tu corazón se sienta pleno.
Having a romantic partner doesn’t only mean having a lover—it is also about finding your best friend and forever person who will always stick by you, no matter what.
Yes, putting yourself out there is scary and anything but easy, especially if you’ve been through a lot.
Siempre existe la posibilidad de que te vuelvan a romper el corazón, pero también existe la posibilidad de encontrar por fin a alguien con quien compartir tu vida y alguien que te ayude a borrar todas tus cicatrices.
Así que, cuando miras las cosas desde este punto de vista, supongo que aprender a amar de nuevo definitivamente merece la pena.
2. Corta los lazos con tu pasado
El proceso de reabrir tu corazón roto a la posibilidad de un nuevo romance incluye sanar y seguir adelante.
Por lo tanto, algo así no se puede hacer si todavía te estás obsesionando con tu doloroso pasado.
Precisamente por eso, el siguiente paso es cortar todos los lazos posibles con tu pasado.
You see, there is no point whatsoever to pretend that you want to turn a new page of your life if deep down, you’re still hoping for your ex to return.
After all, you don’t have to necessarily love this person; it is more than enough for them to still exist in your mind in any possible way for you to be held back from moving on.
Forget about hating them, don’t waste your energy on resentment or grudges and don’t plot revenge against the one who’s done you harm. Instead, just do your best to let go.
Suelta of all the emotions you had or still have for this person, of all the could-have-beens and should-have-beens, let go of your memories and most importantly—get rid of your emotional baggage.
3. Centrarse en la curación
Once you really decide to kick out your ex from your life, mind and heart, it’s time to invest all of your energy into a healthy curación proceso.
You built some walls around you and you decided to shut off your broken heart—otherwise you wouldn’t have to learn to love again.
Por lo tanto, está más que claro que esa persona te causó algunos traumas que aún arrastras.
Y estas son las cuestiones que debes resolver antes de dar un salto hacia tu futuro.
Healing is not just about not loving your ex anymore and getting over your break-up—it is also about fully recovering from everything this person did to you.
I won’t lie to you—this will probably take time but that is the whole point.
Of course, you always have the option of doing everything the easy and the quick way—the option of sweeping everything you’re dealing with under the carpet and pretending that your baggage doesn’t exist.
Nevertheless, in this case, don’t hope for any long-term results. Sooner or later, your past demons will come to get you and you’re back to square one.
Por otro lado, si realmente quieres seguir adelante de forma sana, cuida tu corazón.
Libera cualquier emoción negativa que tengas y encuentra la fuerza para perdonar y dejar ir.
Firstly, forgive your ex for hurting you. Trust me—only when you do this will you be ready to get rid of the hold your past still has on you.
Después, perdónate por no haber sabido hacerlo mejor. Sé amable contigo mismo y da prioridad a tus propias necesidades.
Remember that your relationship with yourself is most important so don’t forget about the importance of self-love and self-respect.
4. Stop thinking that you’re not meant to be loved
There is no point in learning to be in love after being hurt if you don’t expect to get some emotions back.
Sin embargo, eso no es posible si tus experiencias pasadas o tu ex te hicieron pensar que you’re unlovable.
El hecho de que hayas tomado un par de decisiones equivocadas no significa necesariamente que nunca vayas a encontrar a la persona adecuada.
Just because one or a few of your exes didn’t treat you the way you deserved, it doesn’t mean that everyone in your future will be the same.
El mayor error que puedes cometer es dejar que tu pasado afecte y al final destruya tu futuro.
Así que, por favor, cambia tu mentalidad y ten un poco de esperanza en que te esperan cosas y personas buenas.
Most importantly—start loving yourself more.
After all, you can’t expect to get any high-quality romantic love until you give yourself the self-love you deserve and you can’t expect others to see you as lovable unless you do so first.
5. Reconsidera tus patrones de relación
Even though you have to get rid of your belief that you’re not meant to be loved, you still have to take responsibility for the biggest mistakes and the poor choices you made regarding your love life.
After all, all those wrong people weren’t magically sent to you—you were the one who picked them and the one who stayed in your unhealthy relationships.
En primer lugar, debe identificar su patrones de relaciones tóxicas which brought you to this entire mess and then decide that you’ll never repeat them again.
¿Tiene tendencia a estar con el mismo tipo de parejas románticas que claramente no son adecuadas para usted?
¿Sucede que te quedas en relaciones condenadas al fracaso porque se convierten en tu zona de confort o por miedo a quedarte solo?
Haz un poco de introspección e intenta averiguar qué es lo que haces mal.
Otherwise, you can’t expect to ever find a loving relationship, change your dating habits and improve your chances of having a happy love life the next time you put yourself out there.
6. Determine sus normas de relación
After you’re done with resolving your past issues, it’s time to dedicate yourself to the present and the future.
The fact is that you can’t fall happily in love unless you realize what or who you want.
Nobody is telling you that you shouldn’t follow your heart when it comes to finding a loving relationship but you have to turn on your brain while doing so as well.
That is why it’s crucial for you to set up some normas de relación. ¿Qué busca?
¿Qué cosas esperas obtener de tu pareja? ¿Cuál es el tipo de comportamiento que nunca tolerarías?
This doesn’t only apply to serious relationships—you need to determine your most important dating deal-breakers as well.
¿Cuáles son los rasgos de personalidad y las características que le harían descartar a alguien inmediatamente, sin darle una segunda oportunidad?
Don’t worry—you’re not too picky for thinking like this; you’re just protecting yourself from making mistakes as much as you can.
7. Vuelve a salir
Now that you have it all figured out, it’s time for some concrete action, the time to put yourself de nuevo en la piscina de citas.
You’re ready to reopen your heart and it’s the perfect moment to try and find someone to help you finish this process.
I’m not saying that you should go around pulling people by their sleeve and asking them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Para empezar, bastará con que baje la guardia y se abra a la posibilidad de salir con alguien.
You can install dating apps or go speed dating, where you’ll meet a bunch of singles who possibly went through the things you’re going through right now.
Si tu mejor amigo te sugiere ir a una cita a ciegas con alguien que cree que podría gustarte, al menos considera esa opción antes de rechazarla de inmediato.
Flirtea, da el primer paso cuando te sientas atraído por alguien o dale tu número a ese chico o chica que se te acerca y empieza a ligar contigo.
After all, what’s the worst thing that can happen?
A person doesn’t have to knock you off your feet for you to give them a chance; just have fun and see where it goes.
After all, I’m sure you’re pretty rusty and you could use some practice.
8. Don’t jump from one relationship to another
However, this doesn’t mean that you should be jumping from one relationship to another in the search of the right person because that can bring you more bad than good.
Una vez que te involucras en las prácticas modernas de citas, es fácil ser arrastrado a un círculo interminable de casi relaciones, aventuras de una noche, amigos con beneficios y otros tipos de acuerdos. situaciones.
However, you are already vulnerable enough and you don’t need any more emotional damage.
Remember—just because you decided to let your guard down, it doesn’t mean you should let just about anyone in your heart.
It is one thing if you give people a chance to get to know you and to show you why they’re worthy of your attention but it is completely different if you open up to just anyone who crosses your path.
9. Tomarse las cosas con calma
When you’re learning to enamorarse de nuevo after you’ve finished a serious long-term relationship which left you with a serious heartache, it is quite easy to fall into the common trap of wanting to continue where you left off.
Bueno, déjame decirte que este es uno de los mayores errores que puedes cometer mientras intentas encontrar una nueva relación amorosa.
At first, you have these high and thick walls around your heart and you don’t let anyone cross them.
Sin embargo, una vez que baje la guardiarápidamente vuelves a las andadas.
You’re used to being in a committed, intense relationship so now you simply don’t know how to function when you’re just starting something new.
Por lo tanto, intenta saltarse la parte introductoria y llevar inmediatamente su romance al siguiente nivel, sin ni siquiera ser consciente de estar haciéndolo.
Esto no es nada inusual y le ocurre a la mayoría de las personas en su situación. Sin embargo, no es el camino a seguir.
What you should do is let go of expectations. Try your best to take things slowly and don’t rush anything.
En lugar de planear el día de tu boda y poner nombres a tus hijos imaginarios desde la primera cita con alguien que te gusta, ve paso a paso y disfruta del momento.
Don’t obsess about the potential and instead enjoy the present moment.
10. Don’t engage in overthinking
Tu corazón ha sido destrozado en mil pedazos por alguien a quien creías que podías confiar tu vida y de quien estabas convencida de que nunca te abandonaría, así que, naturalmente, has perdido la fe en el amor y en la gente en general.
Todo esto te causó ansiedad y un problema de pensar demasiado.
You now can’t help but to always expect the worst case scenario.
You don’t trust people and especially not your potential romantic partners.
Instead of going with the flow and enjoying the moment, you constantly stress out by examining their every move, dissecting their every text message and every word that comes out of their mouth, looking for something that doesn’t add up and something that can serve you as proof of their dishonesty.
Even when everything is going perfectly smoothly, you can’t rest.
You’re overwhelmed with doubt and you wonder if this person you have by your side is too good to be true.
¿Están a punto de dejarte colgado? ¿Están yendo a tus espaldas con otros?
¿Terminará solo y con el corazón roto una vez más?
Well, the truth is that you’re obsessing with all of this out of irrational fear.
You’re actually subconsciously preparing yourself for the worst scenario, convinced that the failure of your relationship will hurt less if you expect it to happen.
Sounds logical in your head, I know. However, it’s time to put a stop to this practice because pensando demasiado no te traerá nada más que más estrés y muchos dolores de cabeza.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you should turn off your thoughts completely but there is no need to do this either.
Remember that you can never protect yourself 100% from what’s meant to happen, so there is no point in all of this overthinking either.
11. Confía en tu instinto
La mejor manera de encontrar un equilibrio entre ser demasiado precavido y demasiado temerario es confiar en tus instintos.
Cada vez que te vuelvas paranoico, pregúntate si es tu miedo el que habla o si es tu instinto el que intenta enviarte un mensaje.
Verá, la verdad es que si usted siente que algo está mal, en la mayoría de los casos, realmente lo está.
Aplícalo también para dejar entrar a nuevas personas en tu vida y en tu corazón.
You’ll often find yourself in a situation where you meet someone who is perfect on paper but you simply don’t like them and you get a bad vibe from them.
If this happens, you’re allowed to walk away and continue searching.
12. Abre tu corazón al amor
Por fin, abre tu corazón al amor cuando lo veas venir hacia ti.
I know you don’t believe me now but one of these days, your match made in heaven will cross your path.
No, they probably won’t be perfect, but neither are you. However, you’ll know that they’re the one.
And when that happens, please don’t slam the door right in their face.
Don’t let your fears and your past demons take over and chase the opportunity of a lifetime away from you.
Instead, just go for it and believe me when I tell you that soon enough, you’ll see that learning to love again was worthy.
Para el final, aquí están algunos de la letra de una canción apropiada to put on your playlist, which can help you see that you’re not alone in fighting this battle:
Mat Kearney- Aprendiendo A Amar De Nuevo lyrics
Your poker face ain’t fooling nobody, nobody here
We’ve all felt the flame and shed those same tears
Conduciendo a casa a un infierno de un solo hombre, todavía contando años, todavía contando años
Hey brother we’re all learning to love again
‘Cause that was the real you running through the fields of gold wide open
De pie en lugares que ninguna imagen contiene
Ese eras tú de verdad, con las ventanillas bajadas, podíamos oler los campos de menta llorando
Singing with the radio to a song we can’t name
That was the real you saying, “Maybe I’m not too young to be a cowboy.”
Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again
Hacer la cama ese día en un suelo ajeno entre paredes ajenas
Thinking ’bout the words you’d say to a phone that never calls
Feel the weight of your father’s ring and all those dreams, and all those dreams singing
Y te conozco como conozco mi reflejo
Walking on the water ‘cross an ocean of desire
Todos los que conozco buscan protección
Trying to pull down your hometown ‘cross a telephone wire
‘Cross a telephone wire
‘Cause that was the real you standing there in the shape of your body
Fear don’t know no love when we’re all the same
Ese era el verdadero tú mirando hacia atrás a través del agua.
Lágrimas cayendo como lluvia, gotas ondulando contra la vergüenza
Ese era el verdadero tú cantando aleluya, mirando por un barril
Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again
