Me cansé de que me rompiera el corazón y me enamoré de mí misma

Érase una vez, me enamoré de él. Érase una vez, me entregué por completo a él.o the man who couldn’t care less for me. Érase una vez, que me rompieron el corazón.

Me golpearon hasta matarme emocionalmente. Era como un cadáver viviente, respiraba, comía, bebía, pero era incapaz de sentir nada.

Estaba completamente adormecida en mi mundo de caos, el que él hizo de mi vida, prometiéndome un cuento de hadas al principio. Pero todo lo que obtuve fueron lágrimas, tristeza y agonía. Me lo merecía todo, pero al final no conseguí nada bueno, y él es el único culpable de ello.

He was such a nice guy at first. He took care of me. He protected me, and he was keeping me like I was the apple of his eye. But somewhere along the road, he changed. He transformed into a man I couldn’t recognize anymore. He started picking fights out of nowhere.

He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him, like I just got lucky for him choosing me. He made me believe Yo era la antipática, the one who doesn’t deserve love and good treatment.

He convinced me that the way he was treating me was the right way because I didn’t deserve anything better than that. He made me completely lose myself over him.

He always wanted me to make him my priority while he never made me his. And I, blindly in love accepted all of his terms. I accepted them all and didn’t ask what I will get from it.

I just obeyed him, thinking that he knows best. I didn’t even use my head to think about that. I didn’t think about the fact that he was using me all that time.

Y él lo sabía todo desde el principio, pero nunca lo admitió porque le convenía. Mantenerme cerca y obligarme a hacer todo lo que quería era su objetivo final.

Sólo necesitaba una marioneta que bailara mientras él tocaba, y encontró la víctima perfecta en mí. Hice todo lo que él quería, pensando que debía comportarme así porque le quiero.

Yo pensaba que estaba haciendo algo bueno por nuestra relación, pero él nunca hizo nada bueno por mí. Y cada vez que se lo decía, cada vez que le decía que él también debería intentar mantenerme en la relación, se limitaba a decirme que yo le necesito más que él a mí y que puedo irme si quiero.

Y créeme, sus palabras me dolieron como la espada más afilada, apuñalando mi corazón una y otra vez. En ese momento, me di cuenta de que en realidad nunca me amó. Sólo amaba la idea de que yo estuviera cerca para cumplir todos sus deseos. Siempre me obligaba a quedarme porque me necesitaba.

Sin embargo, me necesitaba para malos propósitos. Yo sólo era alguien a quien se había acostumbrado. Sabía qué tipo de café le gustaba, cómo debía ser su desayuno y cómo quería que le lavaran la ropa.

Me quería cerca porque le era familiar, porque conocer a otra mujer y enseñarle todas las cosas que yo sabía sería un gran problema.

That’s why se esforzó tanto para mantenerme cerca. Lo hizo manipulándome, mintiéndome y haciéndome luz de gas.  

He used all means necessary to keep me close and he managed to do that. It wasn’t so hard since I was madly in love with him. He used my heart and my feelings to get what he wanted, and he succeeded in his plan.

He got what he wanted, and I ended up with my heart bleeding.  He broke my heart so many times. I don’t remember the number of times I forgave him for hurting me, thinking that he will change.

Pero sabes, un día me cansé de todo eso. Me cansé de que me menospreciara, de que me mintiera, manipulándome y no queriéndome en absoluto. Así que decidí que ya era hora de renunciar a él.

You know, giving up on him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but it was the only way to get my old life back. I suffered when I let him go, but I had lived in pain for such a long time, and I simply had to make some change. I needed to feel alive again.

I needed to feel worthy and lovable again. And he couldn’t provide me with that. He didn’t know how to love me, so I fell in love with myself instead. I was his prisoner for a long time and I needed to break free from him.

And the day I did it, I was born again. I started enjoying things that I enjoyed before I met him, and it was such an amazing feeling. I started going out with my friends, meeting new people and making my dreams come true. I started doing all those things he forbade me while I was in a relationship with him—things that I had missed so much.

And most of all, I got the old me back, the person I craved so much but couldn’t get because he had trapped her in his web of lies. But now, all is over! He doesn’t possess me anymore.

He doesn’t have the right to come into my life again. And even if he wants it, I would never let him come back. One toxic man was enough for my whole life. The last thing I need is to put up with his shit again and ruin my life.

En lugar de eso, elegí volver a ser feliz. Elegí ¡empezar un nuevo capítulo de mi vida! Y, sobre todo, elegí enamorarme de mí misma.