Qué hacer cuando el narcisista vuelve (y cómo hacer que se vaya)

Muchas mujeres cometen el mismo error cuando el narcisista con el que han roto vuelve, especialmente si están recién salidas de la relación.

Todos cometemos ese error porque, francamente, seguimos enamorados de nuestro narcisista.

Although we know they are bad for us and we’re only going to be miserable, something draws us back to them.

It’s their lies and their false epiphany, their empty promises that they will change and that things are going to be different.

That’s when we make the mistake and take them back, instead of chasing them as far away from us as possible.

Pero la verdad detrás de su regreso es que algo en su vida no va como ellos querían. Algo no va bien.

Some other source of energetic supply has been compromised and they are coming back to their regular source of energy that kept them happy and ‘well-fed’ for a long time.

They are not coming back because they have realized their behavior was hurtful and mean, they are coming back because they have no one to dry the energy out. They don’t love you, they just want to use you.

El narcisista doesn’t care for you as a person. They don’t care for your virtues or for who you really are.

They have a desire for something that you provided them with and they want it. That’s why they come back to you.

Ven a las personas como objetos, cosas que pueden cambiar, usar y tirar cuando han terminado con ellas y pasan al siguiente objeto.

Just please remember, they won’t be coming back because they love you.

Volverán porque tú tienes algo que ellos necesitan y tú te engañas pensando que han vuelto para enmendarse y disculparse.

Crees que van a cambiar, pero eso nunca ocurre, lo que te deja roto y decepcionado. Te sientes utilizado porque te están utilizando.

Qué hacer cuando el narcisista vuelve y cómo ahuyentarlo para siempre

1. Le pedirá disculpas

Volverá arrastrándose hacia ti, fingiendo estar arrepentido. Parecerá devastado y roto como si todo su mundo se hubiera derrumbado.

He will look like he feels bad for his actions and regrets them. But the thing is, it’s ridiculous to talk about apologizing when someone has done something on purpose.

An apology can only be true and sincere when you’re apologizing for something that happens by accident.

Los narcisistas son conscientes de que lo que hacen está mal. Saben que te están rompiendo el corazón y que te están haciendo sentir como una mierda, pero lo hacen de todos modos.

So how can an apology be sincere if you know the thing he is apologizing for is intentional? You just can’t match one little sorry with all the horrible things they have done to you.

2. Te acechará

Suddenly, you’ll see him all over the place. If you go for a walk, if you go to the gym, if you go to the market, you’ll see him and believe me, that is not an accident.

That is happening for a reason. It’s all a part of his hovering tactics, with which he wants to pull you back to him. Probably because te echa de menos pero no de forma normal.

Echa de menos drenar toda la energía de ti y sentirse satisfecho y feliz.

Te acechará en las redes sociales y observará atentamente cada movimiento que hagas.

He wants to be sure that you are all alone and miserable without him and while he’s waiting for your weak moment, he’ll try to make you see him in the best possible light. Don’t fall for those kinds of tricks.

The best thing you could do is to ignore him completely. Don’t let him get inside your head. He has not changed and he never will.

He is still the same old manipulative asshole who’ll drain you and spit you out once again. Spare yourself the pain and chase him away.

3. You’re his safety net

Cuando el narcisista vuelve, sabe que usted estará allí para él. Él sabe que usted va a ser su red de seguridad.

As long as you’re there to catch him, he is going to keep doing what he is doing because there are no consequences.

Él siempre consigue lo que quiere y tú siempre sales perjudicada. ¿Te parece justo?

By taking him back over and over again, you’re just proving to him that his behavior is working.

It might not be right, he knows it’s not, but you keep giving him second chances, so he keeps using them.

You have to be strong enough to cut him off. You have to make him aware that you’ve had enough and that your energy source is no longer available for him to exploit.

I’m not saying that this should do it but it will definitely keep him at a distance for a while until he becomes desperate again.

4. Intenta no tener contacto

La regla del no contacto es lo mejor. Pero a veces es imposible mantener el contacto.

It’s impossible if the guy, your narcissist, is someone you’re working with or your ex-husband whom you have kids with.

But let’s say there is nothing out there keeping you close to him, then you can easily let him go and block him out of your life.

But you have to want it. Because there will be times when you’re going to miss him. No matter how big of an ass he was, there were times when he was even good to you.

Quiero decir que era simpático y amable contigo porque necesitaba algo de ti, era sólo otro medio de manipulación.

But you’re not going to miss him as a person, you’re going to miss the feeling of affection.

You’re going to miss having someone by your side in the moments when you are going to be depressed and alone.

You’re going to miss having anyone by your side and that is when the biggest danger of going back to him occurs.

Se aprovechará de eso y volverá a ti. Intenta no contactar con él. Mantén la regla del no contacto, no importa lo triste y sola que te sientas.

Try to talk to a friend or sleep on it and don’t make decisions you’re going to regret.

5. Tienes que ser indiferente

You have to make yourself as less interesting as you can. You have to be so boring that he doesn’t want to be close to you.

Don’t respond to his provocations, and there will be plenty, just be boring.

Don’t talk to him about anything except the things you have to talk about.

Esta es la forma más eficaz de defenderse de personas narcisistas when you have no other option than to be around him, where you can’t apply the no contact rule.

Narcissists come back all of a sudden and when you least expect it because they are missing something from their life. They need something and probably they can’t get it.

This is what creates a void inside of them which they need to fulfill right away. That’s when he turns back to you because you were good enough for the job.

Te usó tantas veces antes, ¿por qué no intentarlo una vez más?

Don’t show any kind of reaction, be faceless as a dull, gray stone and he will leave because you are not interesting to him anymore.

He can’t use you anymore, so he will go off and seek another victim to destroy emotionally.

Sólo ten en cuenta que cada vez que vuelve y lo aceptas de nuevo, eres tú la que se queda llorando mientras él se aleja tranquilamente. Sólo le estás haciendo un favor.