A la mujer que leyó el mensaje que envié a su marido

I’m sorry that you had to see that. I’m sorry that you had to find out undeniably the kind of man that you are married to. I’m sorry that you are now questioning your entire relationship and what, if any, role I played in it. I wish I could be more helpful to you. I wish there was a way for me to tell you the things you want to hear, but I don’t think I can. I can tell you for certain that I did not have an affair with your husband.

Érase una vez, en una tierra lejana, sí, estaba enamorada de él. Le conocí cuando estaba en segundo de bachillerato y era como un sueño andante. He was handsome, charming and the captain of both the football AND the basketball teams—everyone was in love with him. When you came along, it broke my poor little teenage heart. But I actually liked you, at first, and I totally got what he saw in you. You were strong, fearless and you didn’t take any shit from anyone… least of all him. Plus, you managed to get something from him that I couldn’t, so more power to you. I found my own someone and we all settled into our lives.

La relación que tenía con su marido durante ese tiempo se complicó mucho ya que intentamos mantener nuestra amistad. Ultimately, as the years went by—yada, yada, yada—he was really fucking shitty to me and I moved on. Bien encendido. Se casó contigo y llegué a un punto en que él no era más que el recuerdo lejano de un tipo que me hizo mal hace mucho tiempo.

Avancé tanto, de hecho, que cuando se puso en contacto conmigo de sopetón casi una década después para disculparse por la terrible forma en que me había tratado, yo estaba abierta y dispuesta a aceptarlo. Estaba preparada para escuchar cómo había sido su vida, cómo eran sus hijos y cómo les iba a todos diez años después.

Estaba dispuesta a alegrarme por los dos de que las cosas salieran bien, y luego volver a vivir mi vida sin él. But that’s not what I heard. Instead, he told me some bullshit story that had me going through post-traumatic stress and bringing up all kinds of feelings that had been buried for a long time. It took three full days of ugly crying and two sick days spent in my bed reliving the nightmare that was the last time that I saw him hasta que por fin pude recomponerme suficiente para llegar a una conclusión racional, la misma conclusión a la que llegué entonces.

I don’t want to be with a person who is capable of doing to me what he’s done to you. And furthermore, I don’t want to be with a person who is capable of doing to me what he has done to me. Sure, I can forgive—it was, after all, a long time ago, another lifetime almost. But I don’t even want to be friends with a man capable of the kinds of things he is capable of. No amount of ‘I’m sorry’s’ can change that.

Your husband hurt me in ways that I’m sure, at this point, you can begin to imagine. I know you have questions, all kinds of questions. I’m sure I would, too, in your position, but I can’t help you. I can’t drag myself back to that place and let someone I’ve already moved on from hurt me again. So, you will have to ask him your questions. As I’m sure you could tell from the tone and the content of the message you saw, I’m done with that part of my life. What happens within your marriage is for you two to figure out and I wish you all the best in doing so. Please don’t contact me again.

Atentamente,
La mujer que no tuvo una aventura con su marido

by Tia Grace