Por qué dejó de enviarte mensajes de repente (y qué hacer al respecto)

Hace unos días, era el hombre más encantador del mundo tanto en la vida real como en la virtual.

Sus habilidades con los mensajes de texto eran realmente notables y nunca se olvidaba de enviarte un emoji para que sus textos parecieran aún más interesantes.

Te contaba su día, sus pasiones y sus planes, haciéndote sentir como si fueras una parte importante de su vida aunque acabarais de conoceros y empezarais a salir.

Y, de repente, miras el móvil y tu ansiedad se multiplica con cada minuto que pasas esperando a que te responda.

Minutes, hours, days, weeks, and even months go by, and he still didn’t text you back. You decide to double text him or triple text him (if that term even exists), and still, nothing changes.

Ahora, la situación es aún peor porque tienes montones de mensajes sin contestar y él puede empezar a pensar que eres una mujer desesperada, regañona o Dios sabe qué. (Dios, odio a los hombres y pensar demasiado).

Lo único que se te ocurre es: ¿Por qué ha dejado de mandarme mensajes de repente cuando estábamos bien? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha cambiado? ¿He hecho algo mal para que huya de mí o hay alguna otra razón legítima para que que de repente esté distante?

So many questions, but not a single answer to alleviate your worried mind. If it means anything to you, I’ve been through the same situation multiple times so far, and here’s what I’ve learned from it.

When he stops texting you suddenly, it doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong.

Esto es probablemente lo más difícil de aceptar.

When a guy you really like and have great chemistry with all of a sudden stops answering your texts, you can’t help yourself but think that you’re the one to blame for it.

Déjame decirte algo.

In the majority of cases, this has nothing to do with you. No, he didn’t stop texting you because you annoyed him with your texts or said something inappropriate that made him mad.

He didn’t stop texting you because he wants you to suffer for some reason. There are so many factors that influence someone’s decision to become distant.

Perhaps he’s busy at the moment and forgot to tell you that.

Maybe he thinks by telling you that he’s busy, you’ll think that he’s just playing with you, and that’s the reason why he decided to stop texting you at the moment without telling you why.

Scrolling through your chat to figure out what you’ve done wrong WON’T help. It will only make you feel even more confused.

You can only guess what’s going on in his mind, and jumping to conclusions is out of the question.

Quiero que sepas que perder el tiempo descifrando por qué ha dejado de enviarte mensajes de repente no es la solución a tu problema.

Por supuesto, sería diez veces más fácil para usted si supiera exactamente por qué dejó de enviarte mensajespero nunca lo sabrás con seguridad hasta que él te lo diga.

Así que, hasta que te cuente qué es exactamente lo que le pasa por la cabeza, aquí tienes algunas posibles razones por las que ha dejado de enviarte mensajes de repente (but don’t jump to conclusions yet):

• He’s busy at the moment
• He’s only interested in something casual
• He’s already taken
• You’re always the first one to text him

The last time a guy I’ve been texting with for a long time stopped texting me suddenly is because he was too busy at the moment. Yup.

Me pasé semanas preocupándome por lo que le había pasado y por qué de repente había decidido borrarme de su vida.

After some time, he told me that he wanted to focus on his studies, so he didn’t text anyone, not only me. SERIOUSLY?

The one thing I still don’t understand is why he didn’t tell me that? I’m definitely not one of those people who would still continue texting him even if he specifically told me that he doesn’t have time for it.

Why don’t guys just say what they REALLY mean and how they really FEEL for once in their life?

Is it really easier to ignore someone and risk losing them from your life than to tell them that you’re just too busy to text them right now?

I guess we’ll never know the right answer to this question. (Okay, now give me some time to come to my senses because the recollection of this event has really pissed me off.)

The second and the third reasons are pretty much obvious, so I won’t even comment on them (I don’t want to risk another virtual breakdown).

But, I have the urge to say something about the last one. If you’re always the first one to text him, this is a huge red flag.

Uno de los mayores razones por las que nunca te envía un mensaje primero (pero siempre responde cuando le envías un mensaje) es por su bajo esfuerzo.

If a guy can’t EVER find time to text you first, you should refrain from initiating texting for some time to see if anything changes.

En realidad, este es uno de los mejores things to do when he doesn’t text back for days as well, not only when he doesn’t text first.

What to do when he doesn’t text back for days?

So, as you’re sitting next to your cellphone and expecting him to text you back any second or minute, you might be wondering what exactly to do in this situation.

To spare you the trouble, here’s one thing that you should NEVER do: DON’T TEXT HIM BAJO NINGUNA CIRCUNSTANCIA.

Many girls (including my past self) think that by double texting a guy, you’ll remind him that you’re still alive and that you’re still waiting for his reply (I love the fact that this sentence even rhymes).

No, you won’t remind him to text you back, and he will be even more reluctant to reply to you. Why? Because, in a way, you’re forcing him to do so.

Entonces, ¿qué hacer? when he doesn’t text back ¿durante días? Lo mejor que puedes hacer es DIVERTIRTE y asegurarte de que ÉL lo sepa.

By doing this, you’ll let him know that you don’t care whether he texts you back or not and you’ll be equally happy with or without him. If a man knows that, he will be more than happy to text you back.

Uno de los mejores things to do when he doesn’t text back for days is to focus on yourself instead of wasting your time thinking about why he hasn’t texted you back.

When a man sees that you’re a confident, independent woman and that you have more important things to do in your life than worry about him texting you, he will be more than happy to text you back.

That’s the only recipe that works for sure. If you don’t trust me, you can try both ways.

Puedes intentar pensar en él y enviarle mensajes todos los días de tu vida hasta que decida responderte (o bloquearte).

O puedes centrarte en vivir tu mejor vida hasta que entre en razón (o se dé cuenta de lo que tenga que darse cuenta) y decida devolverte el mensaje.

Así que, cuando por fin te devuelva el mensaje, puedes hacer dos cosas:

a) Respóndele y pídele que te explique por qué ha tardado tanto (esto último es opcional)

b) Ignóralo durante el resto de tu vida (o durante algún tiempo sólo para darle a probar de su propia medicina).

Whatever you choose to do, I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.