Un hombre confiesa por qué mira a otras mujeres y qué significa para él

Imagine you’re at the club with your man and suddenly a very hot girl steps on the dance floor. He turns his head, le dirige una mirada más bien lujuriosa, y escudriña todos sus bordes y curvas, arriba y abajo.

You’re instantly flooded with negative emotions. You’re mad, jealous, and insecure, all at the same time. Te vienen a la cabeza un montón de preguntas.

¿Qué significa esto?

¿No soy lo bastante atractiva?

¿Está flirteando con ella?

If this happened to you, don’t worry it happened to almost every woman.

1. All men do that

Let’s be honest, ¡nosotras miramos a otras mujeres! ¡Todas nosotras! ¡Todo el tiempo!

Take me for instance, I’m happily married and I love my wifey more than anything in the world. She’s the mother of my children and I would never cheat on her. Or be disloyal in any way!

Pero.., I do have eyes, and I can’t pretend to be blind when a beautiful woman crosses my way.

That’s just in men’s nature. Maybe you can’t resist looking at that hot bartender every morning, either.

Puedes esperar que mire a otras mujeres. Puedo esperar tu reacción impulsiva when you notice I look at her. It’s all perfectly normal.

Pero, ¿alguna vez piensas en por qué ¿Realmente miramos?

2. What does it mean when we look at other women?

La encuentro atractiva, sí.

If I was single I would consider her as my intimate partner, but since I’m not that’s not an option. Other than imagining.

Mirar a una mujer atractiva provoca una reacción química en mi cerebro. Se liberan dopamina y serotonina y siento placer.

I do want her and imagine what it would be like kissing or holding her.

Pero that’s just fantasy, like when you’re dreaming you’re in bed with Josh Hartnett or Henry Cavill.

It’s harmless and innocent. It only happens in our heads! It’s not reality!

3. It doesn’t mean our relationship is under threat

If I look at other women it doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you. It doesn’t mean you’re not hot, beautiful, affectionate, or passionate enough for me. It doesn’t mean she’s prettier than you. It doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself, feel insecure, or angry.

I’m not being unfaithful or planning to cheat on you. A glance is not a betrayal. Our relationship is not under threat.

It doesn’t mean I’m not happy with you. My looking at her doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of our marriage or relationship.

Estamos rodeados de cosas bellas en la naturaleza. Por no hablar de las obras de arte. ¿Te molestaría que mirara a la Mona Lisa? It’s just admiration and appreciation of the beauty I encounter.

If I look at her, it doesn’t mean I love you any less. It’s just my stare, applauding a beautiful female body. Nothing more.

4. We are wired differently

Tienes que entender que men don’t mistake physical attraction for an emotional bond.

It’s only physical. I can’t find her appealing even if I don’t see any compatibility or connection with her. I can be crazy about my wife but still be attracted to other women.

Men and women are differently wired when it comes to attraction.

Las mujeres buscan la pareja perfecta con su hombre ideal imaginario. O a veces tienen en mente a una persona determinada, quizá uno de sus ex, y buscan un parecido. Así que they’re attracted to the familiar and “known”.

Men, on the other hand, look for new and “unknown”, so we are attracted to novelty. We might have “our type” but still be attracted to completely different features and body shapes.

En su naturaleza fundamental, las mujeres son cuidadoras y criadoras, mientras que los hombres son vagabundos. We don’t look at other women to make you jealous or upset you, it goes instinctively. Antes de que nos demos cuenta, nuestros ojos están pegados a ella. It’s not a decision, it just happens.

También don’t forget how society is making us overly aroused all the time. We are continuously exposed to images and advertising campaigns that hit us with pictures of photoshopped and idealized female bodies. You must’ve noticed beautiful women everywhere! You can’t just blame me.

5. What to do when the fact I look at other women affects our relationship?

Te expliqué por qué miro a otras mujeres, cómo me hace sentir y cómo deberías sentirte tú al respecto.

Pero ¿y cuando se pasa de la raya? ¿Qué hacer cuando se vuelve irrespetuoso e hiriente?

Que quede claro, mirar a las mujeres es una cosa. When looking is just a prelude to acting on it, then it’s a totally different thing.

I look at her, she passes and I’m done. I’m devoted and loyal to my wife.

Si tu hombre va más allá de la mera apariencia, si empieza a coquetear, o a hacer comentarios, esas son las banderas rojas. Then it’s beyond instinct, and it becomes a decision.

Entonces, your man is disrespectful, immature, and doesn’t care about you. Así que asegúrese de notar la diferencia.

6. He didn’t look at other women earlier, had he lost interest in me?

Usually, it starts after a year or so, when the honeymoon phase ends.

Before that, we are too “high on love” to notice anything around us but the object of our affection.

That’s why there are no “wandering eyes” at this stage.

Entonces nos conectamos a tierra y empezar a fijarnos en el mundo que nos rodea y en toda la belleza que encierra.

For the first two years, I was too enchanted by my wifey to notice any other female.

Then, when all the excitement kind of deflated, and the chemistry of my brain changed, my “sight” got back to normal.

7. Tell him how you feel

Sin embargo, si te molesta demasiado, intenta hablar y explicarle como te hace sentir when he looks at other women. He should know it’s a problem for you.

Establecer límites, y let him know you will not tolerate if he’s looking too often, o demasiado largo.

If he’s truly into you, he will adjust and avoid making you uncomfortable. His las palabras y las acciones te dirán si le importas y si quiere comprometerse.

A real man always values emotional bonds over a one-night stand. He always puts love and respect first. You’re his priority. Not some physical urges and impulses.

Acuérdate, lo más importante es cómo le haces sentir, no tu aspecto.

Make sure to talk it out and don’t let some hot passer-by ruin what you two have.

You’re welcome!