Un uomo confessa il motivo per cui guarda altre donne e cosa significa per lui

Imagine you’re at the club with your man and suddenly a very hot girl steps on the dance floor. He turns his head, punta uno sguardo piuttosto lussurioso nella sua direzione e scruta tutti i suoi spigoli. e curve, su e giù.

You’re instantly flooded with negative emotions. You’re mad, jealous, and insecure, all at the same time. Un mucchio di domande si affacciano nella vostra testa.

Che cosa significa?

Non sono abbastanza attraente?

Sta flirtando con lei?

If this happened to you, don’t worry it happened to almost every woman.

1. All men do that

Let’s be honest, guardiamo le altre donne! Tutte noi! Sempre!

Take me for instance, I’m happily married and I love my wifey more than anything in the world. She’s the mother of my children and I would never cheat on her. Or be disloyal in any way!

Ma, I do have eyes, and I can’t pretend to be blind when a beautiful woman crosses my way.

That’s just in men’s nature. Maybe you can’t resist looking at that hot bartender every morning, either.

Puoi aspettarti che io guardi altre donne. Posso aspettarmi la tua reazione impulsiva when you notice I look at her. It’s all perfectly normal.

Ma avete mai pensato a perché guardiamo davvero?

2. What does it mean when we look at other women?

La trovo attraente, sì.

If I was single I would consider her as my intimate partner, but since I’m not that’s not an option. Other than imagining.

Guardare una donna attraente evoca una reazione chimica nel mio cervello. Vengono rilasciate dopamina e serotonina e provo piacere.

I do want her and imagine what it would be like kissing or holding her.

Ma that’s just fantasy, like when you’re dreaming you’re in bed with Josh Hartnett or Henry Cavill.

It’s harmless and innocent. It only happens in our heads! It’s not reality!

3. It doesn’t mean our relationship is under threat

If I look at other women it doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you. It doesn’t mean you’re not hot, beautiful, affectionate, or passionate enough for me. It doesn’t mean she’s prettier than you. It doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself, feel insecure, or angry.

I’m not being unfaithful or planning to cheat on you. A glance is not a betrayal. Our relationship is not under threat.

It doesn’t mean I’m not happy with you. My looking at her doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of our marriage or relationship.

Siamo circondati da cose belle in natura. Per non parlare delle opere d'arte. Ti arrabbieresti se guardassi la Monna Lisa? It’s just admiration and appreciation of the beauty I encounter.

If I look at her, it doesn’t mean I love you any less. It’s just my stare, applauding a beautiful female body. Nothing more.

4. We are wired differently

Dovete capire che men don’t mistake physical attraction for an emotional bond.

It’s only physical. I can’t find her appealing even if I don’t see any compatibility or connection with her. I can be crazy about my wife but still be attracted to other women.

Men and women are differently wired when it comes to attraction.

Le donne cercano la corrispondenza perfetta con il loro uomo ideale immaginario. Oppure a volte hanno in mente una certa persona, magari uno dei loro ex, e cercano una somiglianza. Quindi they’re attracted to the familiar and “known”.

Men, on the other hand, look for new and “unknown”, so we are attracted to novelty. We might have “our type” but still be attracted to completely different features and body shapes.

Nella loro natura fondamentale, Le donne sono custodi e nutrici, mentre gli uomini sono vagabondi. We don’t look at other women to make you jealous or upset you, it goes instinctively. Prima che ce ne accorgiamo, i nostri occhi sono incollati su di lei. It’s not a decision, it just happens.

Inoltre don’t forget how society is making us overly aroused all the time. We are continuously exposed to images and advertising campaigns that hit us with pictures of photoshopped and idealized female bodies. You must’ve noticed beautiful women everywhere! You can’t just blame me.

5. What to do when the fact I look at other women affects our relationship?

Vi ho spiegato perché guardo le altre donne, come mi fa sentire e come dovreste sentirvi voi.

Ma e quando supera la linea? Cosa fare quando diventa irrispettoso e offensivo?

Sia chiaro, guardare le donne è una cosa. When looking is just a prelude to acting on it, then it’s a totally different thing.

I look at her, she passes and I’m done. I’m devoted and loyal to my wife.

Se il vostro uomo va oltre il semplice sguardo, se inizia a flirtare o a fare commenti, queste sono le bandiere rosse. Then it’s beyond instinct, and it becomes a decision.

Allora, your man is disrespectful, immature, and doesn’t care about you. Assicuratevi quindi di notare la differenza.

6. He didn’t look at other women earlier, had he lost interest in me?

Usually, it starts after a year or so, when the honeymoon phase ends.

Before that, we are too “high on love” to notice anything around us but the object of our affection.

That’s why there are no “wandering eyes” at this stage.

Poi ci mettiamo a terra e iniziare a notare il mondo che ci circonda e tutta la sua bellezza.

For the first two years, I was too enchanted by my wifey to notice any other female.

Then, when all the excitement kind of deflated, and the chemistry of my brain changed, my “sight” got back to normal.

7. Tell him how you feel

Tuttavia, se la cosa vi disturba troppo, prova a parlare e a spiegare come ti fa sentire when he looks at other women. He should know it’s a problem for you.

Stabilire dei limiti e let him know you will not tolerate if he’s looking too often, o troppo lungo.

If he’s truly into you, he will adjust and avoid making you uncomfortable. His Le parole e le azioni vi diranno se lui ci tiene a voi e se vuole impegnarsi.

A real man always values emotional bonds over a one-night stand. He always puts love and respect first. You’re his priority. Not some physical urges and impulses.

Ricorda, la cosa più importante è come lo fate sentire, non il vostro aspetto.

Make sure to talk it out and don’t let some hot passer-by ruin what you two have.

You’re welcome!