Has Desperdiciado Todas Tus Oportunidades De Estar Conmigo
I have had enough. Enough of this ‘one step forward, two steps back’ we have had going on for years. Every time I feel we are going somewhere, you finally flake out again. One moment you are close, you are all in, you reassure me that we’ll make it, that this time it’ll be different and as soon as I start to believe it, you disappear.
How can you use me like that? How can you play with my heart like it’s made of cardboard? Do you have a conscience at all? Why can’t you stay away once you leave? Can’t you see that this back and forth is killing me?
I guess you can’t see it because you only see yourself. I have to stop deluding myself that you love me, that you care for me, that I mean something to you because if I really did you wouldn’t treat me like this.
Sé que esta situación en la que estamos ahora es en parte culpa mía. Sigo dándole a este amor infinitas oportunidades de cobrar vida. Sigo dándote oportunidades de ser el hombre que creo que eres en el fondo, de ser el hombre para mí, pero has desperdiciado todas y cada una de esas oportunidades.
For you, it’s all a game. You are indecisive. You don’t know what you want from life. You don’t know what you want from me so you keep dándome largas. Sigues confiando en el hecho de que estaré aquí hagas lo que hagas. No he hecho nada para que pienses lo contrario. No importa cuántas veces te fueras, no importa cuántas veces me decepcionaras y arrastraras mi corazón por el barro, yo siempre te aceptaría de vuelta y te amaría como si nada hubiera pasado.
It’s hard to let go of someone who made you feel like nobody else ever did. Me barriste de mis pies cuando empezamos. Me hiciste sentir como si fuera la única. Hiciste todo lo posible para que me enamorara de ti. Y en cuanto viste que estaba loca por ti, decidiste que era hora de irte.
Y después de un tiempo, querías volver. Querías volver sólo para poder irte otra vez. It was like this enchanted circle I couldn’t get out of. Leaving and coming back wasn’t all you did to me, though—it was just a part of the equation.
Mientras estabas fuera ibas volver con tu ex. Te inventabas excusas poco convincentes de por qué tenías que hacer eso, de cómo ella tenía algún poder sobre ti pero tú me querías. Claramente inventabas historias. Simplemente quería creerte tanto que deliberadamente me cegué y fui en contra de mi mejor juicio.
Cada vez que te llevaba de vuelta, terminaba arrepintiéndome. Me hacías sentir que era más grande que la vida y, al poco tiempo, me hacías sentir que era tan pequeña, insignificante y sin sentido. Siempre era la culpable de todo. Era demasiado pegajosa. Demasiado celosa. Esperaba demasiado. Y a pesar de todo lo que me hiciste, nunca fuiste culpable. Siempre fuiste justo y siempre tuviste todas las respuestas.
Looking back at all of it now, I can’t explain my actions. I can’t grasp the fact that I took you back after you had been with her. I can’t believe that I let you in again. I can’t believe you always found some reason to go. I can’t believe that my self-esteem was so low that at times I didn’t know that I deserved better. I was ready to be in something so destructive rather than face being alone. Rather than facing the fact that you are incapable of loving anybody but yourself.
And that’s the only truth. You have done everything for yourself. You have taken away from me as much as you could without bothering to give anything back. You took my love and used it as a weapon to defeat me. You used my feelings to manipulate me because you saw I was so helplessly attached to you.
But this time I really can’t take it anymore. I can’t waste my life on you. There will be no more chances—you blew them all. There is no more going back. I know I kept on repeating the same mistakes time and time again, expecting different outcomes. Clearly, it’s time to do everything differently.
Ya no habrá que esperar milagros que nunca se harán realidad. There is no depth to you. You are just a pitiful excuse for a human being. And me, I am just a fool who believed in your lies. That’s why I am not giving you a chance to tell me lies anymore.
There will be no contact whatsoever, as I blocked your calls and texts. I banned you from my social media accounts and I am learning how to erase you from my heart because you don’t deserve to be there. He terminado de amarte. It’s time I start loving myself.
