10 señales de que eres una novia necesitada y cómo dejar de serlo

You’re overly jealous and possessive

La primera señal de que eres una novia pegajosa es tu comportamiento celoso.

Es normal que te sientas incómoda ante la mera idea de que tu novio engañándote o dejarte por alguna otra chica, pero si estos pensamientos te mantienen despierta por la noche sin ningún indicio de que te esté siendo infiel y sin ninguna pista de que algo así pueda ocurrir, tienes un grave problema.

Besides, a little bit of jealousy is kind of sweet because it shows that you care for your partner. However, this is not what’s going on in your relationship, and your possessiveness is everything but cute.

The truth is that you can’t stand any woman near your BF.

Estás constantemente pendiente de si se fija en otras chicas, si flirtea con ellas, y odias a todas sus amigas y compañeras de trabajo sin motivo aparente.

Es algo que debería preocuparte especialmente si tu posesividad tiene un impacto negativo en tu romance.

Trust me–if you keep spending time nagging him about his relationship with every other female in his surroundings and threatening him about doing anything inappropriate, he’ll perceive you as a lunatic, and your jealous behavior will only chase him away.

Le llamas y le mandas mensajes todo el tiempo

Whenever you’re not around your boyfriend, his phone literally blows up.

You don’t care if he’s with his close friends or family, in a business meeting, if he’s busy or sleeping–you expect him to constantly respond to his text messages and phone calls .

Le preguntas por su ubicación actual, le pides fotos como prueba de dónde está, haces videollamadas sin avisar y le controlas todo el tiempo.

Even when you trust him and know for sure where he is, you have a constant need to hear his voice, to see what he’s been doing since last night , and to keep in touch with him.

Yes, the truth is that with today’s technology, texting and phone calls are a huge part of every modern relationship.

You’re completely right if you expect buenos días and good night text messages and if you want to be spending time on the phone with your partner to talk about your days, especially if you haven’t seen each other in a while.

However, trust me that you’ll just become boring if you constantly double and triple text him, without the slightest concern about his obligations and without wondering whether you’re annoying him or not.

So, if you continue doing this, he’ll get tired of you in no time, and it will only have a counterproductive effect.

Relacionado: ¿Por qué nadie quiere salir conmigo? 10 consejos para encontrar el amor

And you get nervous when you don’t get a response

Sin embargo, un problema aún mayor que tú llamando y enviando mensajes de texto to your boyfriend all the time lies in the fact that you freak out and completely lose it if he doesn’t respond the minute you’ve reached out to him. 

According to you, there doesn’t exist an option in which he, for example, forgot his phone, keeps it in his pocket and doesn’t hear it ringing or that he simply can’t talk to you right now because he is in the middle of something. 

Cuando esto ocurre, inmediatamente piensas que está ignorándote a propósito o que te está poniendo en espera porque está hablando con otra chica.

Ves su falta de respuesta como el fin del mundo y, en lugar de darle tiempo para que responda, sigues llamándole y enviándole mensajes hasta que coge el teléfono.

You should remember that nobody—even your boyfriend—has a duty to talk to you every single minute of every single day.

Puede que se esté relajando y pasando su tiempo a solas, y eso es algo de lo que tienes que ocuparte tú en lugar de molestarle.

Usted pensar demasiado y sobreanalizar

Another clear sign that you’re a clingy girlfriend is your overthinking.

You put all of your energy and time into analyzing all aspects of your relationship: you’re looking for hidden messages and signs that your boyfriend is doing something behind your back and that he doesn’t love you, you dissect his every move in detail, you reread his texts and try to figure out his mixed signals, even when everything is crystally clear.

Not only that–you’re also burdened with negative thoughts all the time.

Esperas el peor desenlace posible y te preguntas constantemente si tu relación está llegando a su fin, sin que puedas hacer nada para evitarlo.

Cuando te pones a pensar en todo esto, te convences de que tu problema de pensar demasiado sólo molesta a usted .

After all, you’re the one who has to deal with all of your thoughts, doubts, and questions—he doesn’t have anything to do with that.

Sin embargo, créeme cuando te digo que tú también proyectas tu energía negativa en él.

Además, tu aferramiento es consecuencia directa de tu exceso de análisis, y eso es algo que tienes que trabajar antes de hacer ningún movimiento al respecto.

Acechas cada uno de sus movimientos

Como ya se ha dicho, la necesidad suele ir acompañada de celos obsesivos.

You’re so desperate for your boyfriend that you end up stalking him.

Compruebas su teléfono, rebuscas en sus bolsillos y revisas todas sus cuentas en las redes sociales en busca de algún indicio de que algo pueda ir mal.

Usted investiga sus mejores amigos (y especialmente sus amigas), sus compañeros de trabajo y los lugares que visita.

Le sigues literalmente a todas partes y crees que controlarle es la única forma de evitar que ocurra algo malo.

Even when he goes out without you, you’re behind his back every time.

Somehow, you always ‘accidentally’ end up at the same places he might be at, you show up unannounced at his doorstep or in front of his work.

Puede que pienses que todo esto es bonito y una muestra de tu amor por este chico, pero créeme cuando te digo que roza la locura.

Once this man notices what you’re doing, he’ll think of you as a lunatic, and he’ll run away for his life, as far as possible from you.

Instead of satisfying your urges to know where he is at and what he’s been up to at every moment, do your best to control them.

En lugar de perder todo tu tiempo en seguir a este tipo, pon toda esa energía en ti misma.

You’re in constant fear of losing him

When you love someone, it is perfectly natural that you don’t want to lose them. However, if this fear paralyzes you and becomes the only thing you can think about, it is definitely something you should start worrying about.

Tu necesidad de este hombre se ha convertido en una verdadera obsesión.

He has become the center of your world, and you’ve managed to convince yourself that your existence without him would be pointless.

No le ves sentido a tu vida si él no está a tu lado, y piensas que nunca lo conseguirías sin él.

Así que, en consecuencia, él alejándose de ti o tú haciendo algo que podría ahuyentarlo es tu peor pesadilla.

However, in your desperate attempts to keep this guy by your side, you are actually doing the complete opposite–you’re making him feel trapped, and you’re distancing himself from you.

Escarbas en su pasado

Another thing most needy women do is go through their boyfriend’s past, and you’re no exception.

It is perfectly normal that your partner had a love life before you–he has ex girlfriends whom he probably loved. That is something he can’t and shouldn’t intentar borrar.

However, everything that happened before you two met is none of your business and shouldn’t concern you.

Según la mayoría consejos sobre relacioneses natural que le ponga al día brevemente sobre su historial sentimental: que le cuente algo sobre sus relaciones serias y duraderas o que mencione el motivo más habitual de sus rupturas.

Sin embargo, saber todo esto no es suficiente para usted.

You’re jealous of every woman who was ever a part of his life, and you can’t stand the fact that other girls occupied his heart before you came along.

You can’t seem to grasp the idea that there is nothing to worry about, and that these women are a part of his past for a reason.

En lugar de eso, sigues preguntándote si existe la posibilidad de que él volver to any of them, and most importantly–if he loved some of them more than he loves you now.

Not only that, you also made your BF throw away everything that might remind him of his past, you don’t allow him to be on friendly terms with any of his exes, and you keep looking for traces of some emotions he might still have for them.

Tenga cuidado you’re el que sigue sacando este tema y el que vuelve a poner a estas chicas en sus pensamientos.

After all, he never mentions them, and if you look at things realistically, you’ll see that there is nothing to worry about, which means that you’ll be fully responsible if some of his old emotions wake up.

Necesitas que te asegure constantemente que te quiere

Todas las mujeres necesitadas tienen la necesidad constante de tranquilidad.

They don’t believe their partner’s words of love, and nothing he ever does is proof enough that he is sincere about his feelings.

They keep on looking for signs of their man’s indifference, and they follow him around all the time, constantly asking him whether he loves them. 

Si esto es algo con lo que te sientes identificado, es hora de que te preguntes si estas dudas son producto de tu imaginación o realmente tienen un fundamento. ¿Tienen que ver con tu baja autoestima o son realmente ciertas?

Si hay pruebas concretas de que tu novio doesn’t love you enough or even doesn’t care for you at all, then you should ask yourself what you are doing with him in the first place.

However, if you’re making a fuss about nothing and it is obvious he loves you but you keep on doubting him, you’re the definition of a needy girlfriend, and it’s time to do something about your clinginess before you lose him.

There is probably no objective reason for you to question this man’s emotions.

In fact, you probably have some deeply rooted self-esteem issues which need to be worked on and which are causing you to think of yourself as unworthy of someone’s love.

Odias que pase tiempo sin ti.

When you fall in love with someone new, you want to spend every moment of your free time with this person, and you and your boyfriend probably weren’t an exception.

Sin embargo, todos los consejos de citas dicen que tú y tu novio estar juntos todo el tiempo no es una receta para un relación sana .

Besides, you two have been together for a while now, and you shouldn’t be at each other’s necks constantly. 

Sin embargo, esto es exactamente lo que quieres. Te gustaría que este chico no tuviera amigos íntimos con los que salir, ni familia con la que hablar, ni compañeros de trabajo con los que pasar la hora de la comida, ni intereses, ni aficiones. 

De hecho, te gustaría ser la única persona de su vida: la única a la que ama, a la que se dedica plenamente y a la que presta toda su atención.

Para ser sincera, según tú, lo mejor sería que dejara de existir fuera de vuestra relación.

He is not allowed to be a son, a friend or a man–he can only be your boyfriend and nothing else.

Te sientes insultada de que tenga ganas de pasar un rato a solas o de relacionarse con otras personas a su alrededor porque para ti ...él solo es más que suficiente, y tú quieres que él sienta lo mismo.

Bueno, siento decírtelo, pero ese es tu problema en el que tienes que trabajar sin asfixiar a este hombre que tiene la necesidad social de interactuar con los demás.

Además, ¿de verdad estarías contenta sabiendo que está a tu lado sólo para complacerte pero que preferiría estar en otro sitio?

Would you like knowing that you’re forcing him to be with you and being aware that he is agreeing to that out of sympathy?

Y tú intentas acompañarme a todas partes

Tener amigos comunes con tu novio es estupendo. Este tipo de acuerdo os da muchas oportunidades de pasar tiempo juntos, pero también de socializar con otras personas y no aburriros.

Sin embargo, si este no es el caso y si los dos tienen camarillas separadas, la situación es aparentemente diferente En este caso, de acuerdo con la mayoría de los consejos de citas, no es aceptable que usted sea su chaperón donde quiera que vaya.

Don’t get me wrong–it is awesome if you have a great relationship with his friends, but you need to know that they don’t necessarily have to become your friends as well just because they’re close with your boyfriend.

Yes, they must respect you, but they didn’t choose to hang out with you, so you don’t have to tag along to their every get-together.

Lo último que quieres es que empiecen a evitar a tu BF porque siempre te lleva con él.

Don’t be that type of girlfriend everyone comments on, and give your guy some space!

Al fin y al cabo, hay temas que desea abordar con tu mejor amigo without your BF present as well. So, why wouldn’t he have the chance to do the same?

¿Cómo afrontar su necesidad?

Leer todos estos signos juntos y relacionarse con la mayoría de ellos es de todo menos agradable, ¿verdad?

Bueno, imagínese cómo todo esto se ve a su otro significativo y cómo le hace sentir saber que su novia está necesitado e inseguro .

Therefore, now that you’ve identified and accepted that you have a problem, the next step is to start working on it and trying to figure out how to not be a needy girlfriend .

I know that you’re not needy and clingy on purpose–it is simply something stronger than you and a personality trait you think you cannot overcome.

Well, we’re here to show you how to deal with this problem, to show you that it is possible to stop being overly needy, and to help you improve your love life .

Of course, this transformation won’t happen overnight and it is not easy–it is a journey which you have to take on your own (with or without the help of your partner), and a journey which requires a lot of self-awareness and inner strength.

However, if you choose to follow our dating tips , we promise you that you’ll understand that these behavior patterns are toxic for your own being and for all of your relationships, and that you’ll successfully manage to change them in a healthy way in no time.

Así que sigue leyendo y descubre cómo dejar de ser la novia necesitada . 

3 maneras de dejar de ser la novia pegajosa

Céntrate en ti mismo

According to most relationship advice , when you’re trying to overcome your clinginess , the biggest problem becomes all of your spare time and energy. You’re used to directing all of your thoughts and emotions to your boyfriend during the day.

You’ve grown a habit of stalking him and his social media profiles, and you’re used to thinking about him all the time.

So now that you decided to quit, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Yes, this guy is still present in your life, but you know he can’t be the centre of your world anymore, so you need to come up with a way to stop obsessing over him.

Well, all dating advice say you should redirect all of your energy to the most important person in your world–to yourself.

Instead of wasting most of your time on following your man’s every move, decoding his social media accounts, and decryption his signals, focus on improving yourself. Give yourself all the attention you were putting on him.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not telling you to completely disregard your boyfriend.

I’m just advising you to put yourself first and to work on becoming the la mejor versión posible de ti mismo en lugar de obsesionarse con él.

Trust me–once you boost your self-esteem , get a new hobby, take some alone time or start hanging out with your best friend again, you’ll understand why he needs his personal space, and you’ll want yours as well.

You’ll build a healthy relationship with yourself, you’ll see that there exists a world and a life outside of your romance, and you’ll find it easier to cut  back on your boyfriend.

Deja que venga a ti

When you’re a clinger , you feel emotionally neglected. You assume that your partner doesn’t love you enough because he doesn’t put all of his attention on you.

For most of the time, you’re the one who initiates contact, the one who texts and calls first, the one who suggest date nights and other activities, and the one who, in a way, leads a relationship.

Mirando las cosas desde esta perspectiva, todo el mundo se sentiría indeseado y poco querido.

Sin embargo, ¿te has planteado alguna vez la idea de que tu novio nunca tiene la oportunidad de acercarse a ti de ninguna manera simplemente porque tú siempre te le adelantas?

¿Qué te parece dejar que venga a ti para variar, ¿y ver cómo siguen las cosas a partir de ahí?

Don’t get involved in mind games–just give him a chance to take over the initiative and to be the one who invites you to date nights , the one who calls you more, and the one who thinks about spending time with you. 

Deja de estar disponible todo el tiempo porque podría empezar a darlo por sentado.

I assure you that he’ll fall for you more once he starts to miss you a little and once he senses your absence.

You see, this guy isn’t putting effort in your relationship simply because he doesn’t have to.

You’re always near him whatever he does (or doesn’t do), so he never feels like he has to win you over or try to get your attention.

Sin embargo, si le das la vuelta a la tortilla, será él quien te persiga.

Once he sees that he might lose you, he’ll surely start appreciating you more, and you’ll both feel less burdened by your neediness .

Dejar de obsesionarse con el futuro

La mayoría de los consejos sobre citas le dirán que el origen de su comportamiento pegajoso es probablemente su trauma de abandono del pasado.

You’re terrified of the mere idea of your loved one walking away from you, so you think that this is the way to keep him by your side.

Básicamente, te obsesionas con el futuro en lugar de disfrutar del momento presente.

You’re cracking your mind open with what potentially might happen and with trying to find solutions to problems you realistically don’t have.

Well, this has got to stop. You need to accept that life is uncertain and that you can’t predict anything—the same way you can’t prevent bad things from happening.

Si tu novio planea engañarte o sugerirte una romper , he will find a way of doing it, despite you constantly being at his back. In fact, you’ll only make things worse with this behavior.

Así que, ¿por qué perder más tiempo con tus miedos cuando en realidad no hay nada que puedas hacer al respecto?

¿Por qué convertir tu relación en un infierno tanto para ti como para tu pareja, cuando puedes hacer que cada momento sea memorable y hermoso?