10 señales de que no se esfuerza lo suficiente en su relación
Una de las citas más famosas sobre el esfuerzo en las relaciones dice: “If you put time and effort in a relationship, it will last”.
Therefore, you can’t expect a romantic relationship (or any other for that matter) to magically grow into something worthwhile, no matter how much time you spend in it, if you don’t actually try to make something out of it.
Lamentablemente, en las citas modernas, la mayoría de la gente se ha olvidado de esto.
Olvidaron la importancia del esfuerzo y el impacto que tiene en la perseverancia de un romance. Entonces, ¿qué significa realmente esforzarse?
Cada persona tiene un lenguaje del amor diferente, así que es perfectamente natural que todos expresemos nuestras emociones, atención y afecto de formas distintas.
However, there is also a huge difference between having a partner who doesn’t have the same love language as you and one who doesn’t put enough effort into your relationship.
A huge difference between a man who might not be showing his love for you the way you would want him to and a man who couldn’t care less about you or the future of your relationship.
After all, you don’t ask for too much—you just want someone who puts equal effort in a relationship as you do because those effort in a relationship quotes which say that you can’t be the only one fighting really are true.
You’re not looking for a Prince Charming to pamper you, but you are aware that there exists a minimum of effort which is required for a healthy relationship and a healthy love life.
Para conseguir que un hombre te trate bien todo el tiempo y te dé más de lo que jamás soñaste, utiliza Guiones de encaprichamiento. He’ll never do anything to disappoint you again.
However, you can’t help but see that your boyfriend isn’t even giving you this minimum and that his absence of effort is slowly killing your romantic connection.
To make things right again and be happier than ever – PULSE AQUÍ.
10 señales claras de que no se esfuerza lo suficiente en su relación
Well, here are the 10 clearest signs that you’re absolutely right and that vuestra relación no está destinada a ser.
1. He doesn’t take you out on date nights
One of the first red flags that a man has stopped trying (or that he never tried enough) is the fact that he doesn’t take you on noches de cita más.
Yes, every guy will probably do his best to take you out to a fancy dinner on the first few dates, but this doesn’t mean that he should stop doing this as soon as you become his girlfriend and as soon as he sees that he has you.
After all, you’re not looking for too much—he doesn’t necessarily have to make a spectacle or throw a huge surprise every time you two meet, but it would be nice if he would occasionally make an effort in taking you out.
To be honest, you can’t remember when was the last time that the two of you engaged in any kind of couple’s activity.
You don’t go out to the movies, you don’t take road trips, you don’t pasar domingos perezosos in nature…
Instead, lately, you constantly spend time at your or his place—at a nearby coffee shop as the best possible case scenario.
The worst part is that you’re actually trying to initiate some kind of change and transform your situation into a great relationship because you’re definitely not one of those women who expect a man to do all the work while she lays back like a Princess he is supposed to spoil.
Sin embargo, el problema es que tu novio rara vez acepta tus propuestas, e incluso cuando lo hace, actúa como si te estuviera haciendo un favor al aceptar salir contigo en una cita como es debido.
2. He doesn’t notice the little things
Cuando te enamoras, te fijas en cada detalle de la otra persona.
You know the name of his first pet, you remember his mother’s birthday, and you don’t fail to notice that he’s wearing a new sweater that looks smoking hot on him.
Pues bien, a pesar de lo que le digan, los hombres no son muy diferentes en este aspecto.
También prestan atención a las pequeñas cosas de su pareja cuando se preocupan por ella. Sin embargo, esto no es algo que haga tu pareja actual.
He fails to notice details about you, doesn’t give a damn whether you’ve got a new haircut, doesn’t realize when you’re having a bad day, and acts like he doesn’t see you in general.
La verdad es que la mayoría de las veces, olvida fechas importantes relacionadas con usted y su relación.
Even when he remembers your anniversary or your birthday, he doesn’t put any effort into surprising you or into making this day special.
3. He doesn’t take care of you
Los hombres nacen protectores. A real man enjoys keeping everyone he loves safe—especially his wife or girlfriend—and he loves being the rock she can lean on during hard times.
Por lo tanto, si your guy doesn’t take care of youes una de las señales más claras de que no se esfuerza en la relación.
This is not someone you can count on and not a person you can call in the middle of the night if you’re going through some problems.
Este tipo doesn’t give a damn si pinchas una rueda o necesitas hacer alguna reparación en casa.
He doesn’t care whether you’ve gotten home safely, if you’ve eaten or if you had enough sleep.
Yes, you’re not a baby and you don’t need someone to parent you, but it is nice knowing you have a man you can rely on by your side when you’re going through some difficulties or hard times.
4. You’re his second choice
Let’s face it—this man is never putting you first, and he is not giving you the place you should have in his life.
De hecho, constantemente feel like you’re his second choicey eso es lo último una relación feliz debería hacerte sentir.
He doesn’t have a problem with canceling your plans at the last minute nor does he see you two not spending time or seeing each other for more than a week like something alarming.
The truth is that you’re this guy’s safety net—someone he is texting when everyone else is busy, a girl he calls when his friends cancel on him, and the person he comes to when he has nowhere else to go.
Pone todo y a todos por delante: sus amigos, su familia, su trabajo, sus aficiones.
You’re the last one on his priority list, which definitely shouldn’t be the case and which is a red flag indicating that you’re in una relación tóxica.
5. He doesn’t want to talk about the future
Definitivamente, no está bien ahogar a tu pareja con la charla del matrimonio y los hijos desde la primera cita, porque eso sólo te haría parecer un lunático desesperado.
Sin embargo, si usted y su novio han estado juntos durante un período más largo de tiempo y si realmente creo que vosotros dos estáis hechos el uno para el otroes perfectamente normal hacer planes para el futuro.
However, this is not the case with your relationship because your man simply refuses to talk about anything regarding the direction of your relationship—as if he doesn’t see the two of you ending up together.
It is not that he just doesn’t want to make some big future plans, he refuses to talk about your next vacation, as well, let alone get involved in conversations which, for example, include giving his house keys, setting up the engagement date or meeting each other’s parents.
I hate to break it to you, but it is quite obvious that this man only sees you as something temporary, and he doesn’t plan on putting effort into a relationship that is not meant to be, according to his views.
6. He doesn’t work on your arguments
When you meet a guy who avoids all types of fights, you assume that you’ve hit el novio del premio gordo y que sin duda es material para una relación sana.
However, most relationship coaches actually see this as a red flag of someone’s lack of effort.
Yes, you heard it right. If a man doesn’t work on your arguments, he doesn’t want to work on your relationship either.
Let’s face it—real life relationships aren’t fairytales, and it is impossible to constantly avoid disagreements, especially if you give a damn about the other person.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advising you to go out there and find yourself a guy who will make a fuss about every little thing or an abusive, hombre tóxico que está buscando peleas todo el tiempo.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t be with a guy who is so indifferent towards you that even arguing with you is a pain in the ass for him.
Esto es exactamente lo que le pasa a tu novio. Él nunca está poniendo esfuerzo en cambiar algunas cosas acerca de su mala relaciónaunque eso signifique discutir sobre algo.
Not only that, he doesn’t care about making your fights as productive as possible and doesn’t see it as a way to take your relationship to the next level or as a chance for you two to learn something new as a couple.
En cambio, cuando tienes algún problema, tiene la mala costumbre de ignorarlo y esperar que desaparezca.
Tiende a darte el tratamiento del silencio incluso cuando intentas resolver algo porque trabajar en tus problemas es claramente lo último que tiene en mente.
In fact, you feel like he wouldn’t move an inch even if you decide to leave him and as if he couldn’t care less whether the two of you are together or not.
He wouldn’t try to stop you and definitely wouldn’t make an effort in changing some things about his behavior just to keep you around.
7. He doesn’t care how he looks
Most people think that it is not a man’s job to spend time trying to look handsome and attractive to his significant other.
Well, let me tell you that they couldn’t be more wrong because it is both partners’ duty to keep on seducing their loved one, despite the length of their relationship.
Sin embargo, parece que su hombre se ha relajado demasiado en lo que se refiere a su aspecto.
I’m not saying that he has to wear a tuxedo every time he is about to see you, but he doesn’t care about his personal hygiene, doesn’t give a damn about what he is wearing, and doesn’t have the decency to dress up, even on special occasions.
It is more than obvious that he isn’t ready to put some effort into you finding him attractive.
He doesn’t care if some other guy who pays attention to his looks might catch your eye or whether you’ll fall out of love con él en breve.
8. He doesn’t try to impress you
Another sign of a man’s lack of effort and a sign that te está dando por sentado is the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t have the urge to impress you.
I’m not saying that he should be lying or pretending to be someone he’s not just so you would fall for him, but when a man loves a woman, he definitely wants her to see him as way better than he actually is.
¿Recuerdas que este tipo hizo todo lo posible para demostrarte sus sentimientos?
¿Recuerdas cómo se esforzó en hacerte creer que es el hombre más inteligente y guapo del mundo?
Well, those times are ancient history now because he clearly doesn’t have the need to grow in your eyes anymore.
At the end of the day, the truth is that he is convinced that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does and despite the poor way he is treating you.
He is no longer romantic, you can’t remember when was the last time he told you “I love you”, and basically doesn’t lift a finger to persuade you in staying next to him.
9. No le interesa tu vida
One of the best quotes on effort in relationships says that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you. And that can’t be truer.
Una buena relación no es perfecta, y la vida real no es un cuento de hadas.
However, if you think that your man texting you to see how your day has been, checking up on you and being interested in your daily activities or spending time with you is a privilege, you’re definitely nowhere near a great relationship.
That is exactly how your partner has been acting lately—as if you should be grateful if he gets involved in your life—because most of the time, he behaves like the things that concern you are none of his business.
He is not trying to be someone you’ll share your troubles with. He is not giving you a hand when you need it, and he is definitely not your shoulder to cry on. Not only that—I can bet that this guy knows nothing about you.
He doesn’t have a clue about your love life history, isn’t interested in the people you spend time with, knows very little about your job, and never puts an effort to get to the bottom of your personality.
No conoce tus miedos, esperanzas o aspiraciones más profundas.
He doesn’t know your dream vacation destination, favorite color or your childhood best friend’s name.
¿Y sabes por qué es así? Porque nunca se esforzó en averiguar nada de esto.
Besides, if you see things realistically, you’ll notice that he never made you a real part of his life either.
He doesn’t want to introduce you to his closest ones, his social media profiles look like you don’t exist, and he’s never let you in all the way.
10. Es egoísta en el dormitorio
Una de las citas más importantes sobre el esfuerzo en las relaciones dice lo siguiente: “Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness is taken out.”
Therefore, you can’t expect a relationship to work out if one or both of the people in it are only concerned with their own well-being.
Pues bien, una de las primeras formas de detectar un novio egoísta es observar la relación íntima que tienes con él y su comportamiento bajo las sábanas.
Sí, el amor es mucho más que el contacto físico, pero la mayoría de los asesores sentimentales te dirán que este aspecto también puede ser responsable de una mala relación.
Verás, cuando un hombre quiere que una relación funcione, dedica tiempo a llegar al fondo de tus necesidades.
He is trying hard to please you in the bedroom as well and doesn’t only think about his personal satisfaction.
Sin embargo, esto es exactamente lo que su pareja no está haciendo. No está utilizando contacto físico para que ambos estéis contentos, cómodos y satisfechos, y a él sólo le interesa sentirse bien.
He doesn’t make an effort for you to be as relaxed as possible, and he doesn’t care whether you enjoy your make-out sessions and the sex which comes afterward.
Lo peor es que tampoco tiene en cuenta tus emociones cuando se acaba el sexo.
He rarely cuddles with you or tells you “I love you”, despite knowing that these are the words every woman would like to hear after sleeping with the man she deeply cares about.
Al fin y al cabo, está claro que a este hombre sólo le importa él mismo porque, de lo contrario, se esforzaría más por mejorar vuestra relación íntima y pondría su máximo empeño en transformar vuestro romance en una relación feliz.
