10 sinais de que ele não está a esforçar-se o suficiente na vossa relação
Uma das mais famosas citações sobre o esforço nas relações diz: “If you put time and effort in a relationship, it will last”.
Therefore, you can’t expect a romantic relationship (or any other for that matter) to magically grow into something worthwhile, no matter how much time you spend in it, if you don’t actually try to make something out of it.
Infelizmente, nos encontros modernos, a maioria das pessoas esqueceu-se disto.
Esqueceram a importância do esforço e o impacto que este tem na perseverança de um romance. Então, o que significa realmente fazer um esforço?
Pessoas diferentes têm linguagens de amor diferentes, pelo que é perfeitamente natural que todos nós expressemos as nossas emoções, atenção e afeto de formas diferentes.
However, there is also a huge difference between having a partner who doesn’t have the same love language as you and one who doesn’t put enough effort into your relationship.
A huge difference between a man who might not be showing his love for you the way you would want him to and a man who couldn’t care less about you or the future of your relationship.
After all, you don’t ask for too much—you just want someone who puts equal effort in a relationship as you do because those effort in a relationship quotes which say that you can’t be the only one fighting really are true.
You’re not looking for a Prince Charming to pamper you, but you are aware that there exists a minimum of effort which is required for a healthy relationship and a healthy love life.
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However, you can’t help but see that your boyfriend isn’t even giving you this minimum and that his absence of effort is slowly killing your romantic connection.
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10 sinais claros de que ele não está a esforçar-se o suficiente na vossa relação
Well, here are the 10 clearest signs that you’re absolutely right and that a vossa relação não está destinada a ser.
1. He doesn’t take you out on date nights
One of the first red flags that a man has stopped trying (or that he never tried enough) is the fact that he doesn’t take you on noites de namoro mais.
Yes, every guy will probably do his best to take you out to a fancy dinner on the first few dates, but this doesn’t mean that he should stop doing this as soon as you become his girlfriend and as soon as he sees that he has you.
After all, you’re not looking for too much—he doesn’t necessarily have to make a spectacle or throw a huge surprise every time you two meet, but it would be nice if he would occasionally make an effort in taking you out.
To be honest, you can’t remember when was the last time that the two of you engaged in any kind of couple’s activity.
You don’t go out to the movies, you don’t take road trips, you don’t passar domingos preguiçosos in nature…
Instead, lately, you constantly spend time at your or his place—at a nearby coffee shop as the best possible case scenario.
The worst part is that you’re actually trying to initiate some kind of change and transform your situation into a great relationship because you’re definitely not one of those women who expect a man to do all the work while she lays back like a Princess he is supposed to spoil.
No entanto, o problema é que o seu namorado raramente aceita as suas propostas e, mesmo quando as aceita, age como se estivesse a fazer-lhe um favor ao concordar em sair consigo num encontro adequado.
2. He doesn’t notice the little things
Quando nos apaixonamos, reparamos em todos os pormenores da outra pessoa.
You know the name of his first pet, you remember his mother’s birthday, and you don’t fail to notice that he’s wearing a new sweater that looks smoking hot on him.
Bem, apesar do que alguém lhe possa dizer, os homens não são muito diferentes neste aspeto.
Também prestam atenção às pequenas coisas da sua cara-metade quando se preocupam com ela. No entanto, isto não é algo que o seu parceiro atual esteja a fazer.
He fails to notice details about you, doesn’t give a damn whether you’ve got a new haircut, doesn’t realize when you’re having a bad day, and acts like he doesn’t see you in general.
A verdade é que a maior parte das vezes, ele esquece-se de datas importantes relativas a si e à sua relação.
Even when he remembers your anniversary or your birthday, he doesn’t put any effort into surprising you or into making this day special.
3. He doesn’t take care of you
Os homens nascem protectores. A real man enjoys keeping everyone he loves safe—especially his wife or girlfriend—and he loves being the rock she can lean on during hard times.
Portanto, se your guy doesn’t take care of youÉ um dos sinais mais claros de que ele não está a esforçar-se na relação.
This is not someone you can count on and not a person you can call in the middle of the night if you’re going through some problems.
Este gajo doesn’t give a damn se tiver um pneu furado ou precisar de fazer algumas reparações em casa.
He doesn’t care whether you’ve gotten home safely, if you’ve eaten or if you had enough sleep.
Yes, you’re not a baby and you don’t need someone to parent you, but it is nice knowing you have a man you can rely on by your side when you’re going through some difficulties or hard times.
4. You’re his second choice
Let’s face it—this man is never putting you first, and he is not giving you the place you should have in his life.
De facto, está sempre a feel like you’re his second choicee isso é a última coisa uma relação feliz deve fazer-te sentir.
He doesn’t have a problem with canceling your plans at the last minute nor does he see you two not spending time or seeing each other for more than a week like something alarming.
The truth is that you’re this guy’s safety net—someone he is texting when everyone else is busy, a girl he calls when his friends cancel on him, and the person he comes to when he has nowhere else to go.
Ele põe tudo e todos à sua frente: os amigos, a família, o trabalho, os passatempos.
You’re the last one on his priority list, which definitely shouldn’t be the case and which is a red flag indicating that you’re in uma relação tóxica.
5. He doesn’t want to talk about the future
Não é de todo correto sufocar o seu parceiro com a conversa sobre casamento e filhos logo no primeiro encontro, porque isso só o faria parecer um lunático desesperado.
No entanto, se o seu namorado e você estiverem juntos há mais tempo e se realmente acho que vocês os dois estão destinados a ficarÉ perfeitamente normal fazer alguns planos para o futuro.
However, this is not the case with your relationship because your man simply refuses to talk about anything regarding the direction of your relationship—as if he doesn’t see the two of you ending up together.
It is not that he just doesn’t want to make some big future plans, he refuses to talk about your next vacation, as well, let alone get involved in conversations which, for example, include giving his house keys, setting up the engagement date or meeting each other’s parents.
I hate to break it to you, but it is quite obvious that this man only sees you as something temporary, and he doesn’t plan on putting effort into a relationship that is not meant to be, according to his views.
6. He doesn’t work on your arguments
When you meet a guy who avoids all types of fights, you assume that you’ve hit o namorado do jackpot e que ele é, sem dúvida, material para uma relação saudável.
However, most relationship coaches actually see this as a red flag of someone’s lack of effort.
Yes, you heard it right. If a man doesn’t work on your arguments, he doesn’t want to work on your relationship either.
Let’s face it—real life relationships aren’t fairytales, and it is impossible to constantly avoid disagreements, especially if you give a damn about the other person.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advising you to go out there and find yourself a guy who will make a fuss about every little thing or an abusive, homem tóxico que está sempre a arranjar brigas.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t be with a guy who is so indifferent towards you that even arguing with you is a pain in the ass for him.
É exatamente isso que se passa com o seu namorado. Ele nunca se esforça por mudar algumas coisas na sua vida. má relaçãoMesmo que isso signifique discutir sobre algo.
Not only that, he doesn’t care about making your fights as productive as possible and doesn’t see it as a way to take your relationship to the next level or as a chance for you two to learn something new as a couple.
Em vez disso, quando temos algum tipo de problema, ele tem o péssimo hábito de o ignorar e esperar que desapareça.
Ele tende a dar-te o tratamento de silêncio mesmo quando tentam resolver alguma coisa, porque resolver os vossos problemas é claramente a última coisa em que ele pensa.
In fact, you feel like he wouldn’t move an inch even if you decide to leave him and as if he couldn’t care less whether the two of you are together or not.
He wouldn’t try to stop you and definitely wouldn’t make an effort in changing some things about his behavior just to keep you around.
7. He doesn’t care how he looks
Most people think that it is not a man’s job to spend time trying to look handsome and attractive to his significant other.
Well, let me tell you that they couldn’t be more wrong because it is both partners’ duty to keep on seducing their loved one, despite the length of their relationship.
No entanto, parece que o seu homem se tornou demasiado relaxado no que diz respeito à sua aparência.
I’m not saying that he has to wear a tuxedo every time he is about to see you, but he doesn’t care about his personal hygiene, doesn’t give a damn about what he is wearing, and doesn’t have the decency to dress up, even on special occasions.
It is more than obvious that he isn’t ready to put some effort into you finding him attractive.
He doesn’t care if some other guy who pays attention to his looks might catch your eye or whether you’ll fall out of love com ele em breve.
8. He doesn’t try to impress you
Another sign of a man’s lack of effort and a sign that ele está a tomar-te por garantida is the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t have the urge to impress you.
I’m not saying that he should be lying or pretending to be someone he’s not just so you would fall for him, but when a man loves a woman, he definitely wants her to see him as way better than he actually is.
Lembras-te de como este tipo fez tudo o que estava ao seu alcance para te mostrar os seus sentimentos?
Lembram-se de como ele se esforçou por vos fazer pensar que era o homem mais inteligente e mais bonito do mundo?
Well, those times are ancient history now because he clearly doesn’t have the need to grow in your eyes anymore.
At the end of the day, the truth is that he is convinced that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does and despite the poor way he is treating you.
He is no longer romantic, you can’t remember when was the last time he told you “I love you”, and basically doesn’t lift a finger to persuade you in staying next to him.
9. Ele não está interessado na sua vida
One of the best quotes on effort in relationships says that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you. And that can’t be truer.
Uma boa relação não é perfeita, e a vida real não é um conto de fadas.
However, if you think that your man texting you to see how your day has been, checking up on you and being interested in your daily activities or spending time with you is a privilege, you’re definitely nowhere near a great relationship.
That is exactly how your partner has been acting lately—as if you should be grateful if he gets involved in your life—because most of the time, he behaves like the things that concern you are none of his business.
He is not trying to be someone you’ll share your troubles with. He is not giving you a hand when you need it, and he is definitely not your shoulder to cry on. Not only that—I can bet that this guy knows nothing about you.
He doesn’t have a clue about your love life history, isn’t interested in the people you spend time with, knows very little about your job, and never puts an effort to get to the bottom of your personality.
Ele não conhece os seus medos, esperanças ou aspirações mais profundas.
He doesn’t know your dream vacation destination, favorite color or your childhood best friend’s name.
E sabem porque é que isto é assim? Porque ele nunca se esforçou por descobrir estas coisas.
Besides, if you see things realistically, you’ll notice that he never made you a real part of his life either.
He doesn’t want to introduce you to his closest ones, his social media profiles look like you don’t exist, and he’s never let you in all the way.
10. Ele é egoísta no quarto
Uma das citações mais importantes sobre o esforço nas relações diz o seguinte: “Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness is taken out.”
Therefore, you can’t expect a relationship to work out if one or both of the people in it are only concerned with their own well-being.
Bem, uma das primeiras maneiras de detetar um namorado egoísta é observar a relação íntima que tem com ele e o seu comportamento debaixo dos lençóis.
Sim, o amor é muito mais do que o toque físico, mas a maioria dos treinadores de relações dir-lhe-ão que este aspeto também pode ser responsável por uma má relação.
Quando um homem quer que uma relação resulte, está a dedicar tempo a descobrir as suas necessidades.
He is trying hard to please you in the bedroom as well and doesn’t only think about his personal satisfaction.
No entanto, é exatamente isso que o seu parceiro não está a fazer. Ele não está a usar toque físico para vos fazer felizes, confortáveis e satisfeitos, e ele só está interessado em sentir-se bem.
He doesn’t make an effort for you to be as relaxed as possible, and he doesn’t care whether you enjoy your make-out sessions and the sex which comes afterward.
A pior parte é que ele também nunca tem em consideração as suas emoções depois de o sexo acabar.
He rarely cuddles with you or tells you “I love you”, despite knowing that these are the words every woman would like to hear after sleeping with the man she deeply cares about.
No final do dia, é evidente que este homem só se preocupa consigo próprio, porque, caso contrário, esforçar-se-ia mais para melhorar a vossa relação íntima e faria o máximo esforço para transformar o vosso romance numa relação feliz.
