Las secuelas de que te rompa alguien en quien más confiabas

When you put your trust in someone, you do it in good faith. You trust people with all your heart thinking they’ll never use that trust to hurt you. But, usually, people that break us are those who we’d swore would never to do that.

La persona que juré que nunca me haría daño me hizo pedazos. Y ¿cómo te recuperas de que te rompa algo alguien a quien amabas y en quien más confiabas?

I tried to forget, but it didn’t work. I tried to keep it off of my mind, doing whatever I could to keep myself busy, but it didn’t help. Then I tried to understand, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it because I would’ve never done it. I’d never use someone’s trust in a bad way when I know what that person has been through. I would never pour gasoline on the fire.

I would never break somebody. I’d never do something this brutal to someone because I know how much it hurts. I am not scared of going to hell because I doubt it gets worse than this.

The thing that gets me the most is that I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be truly happy anymore. Because each time I smile, the thought of what happened to me starts knocking from the back of my mind. And I end up being completely powerless to it.

Cuando te rompe alguien en quien más confías, te conviertes en otra persona.

I am not half the person I used to be. I don’t laugh half as much as I laughed before. I get anxious the moment somebody asks me something personal. I refuse to tell people how I feel.

The thing is, I’m ashamed. I don’t want to tell anybody about what happened to me. I don’t want anyone to know how naive I was or how I trusted the wrong person. I don’t want anybody to know how weak I was.

Cuando te rompe alguien en quien más confías, te da miedo volver a amar.

I am petrified to give my heart to somebody again. I’m scared to open up. I don’t want this kind of thing to happen again.

I guard my heart and I push people away at the first sign of that butterfly awakening in my stomach. Because I know I wouldn’t be able to survive another heartbreak.

Cuando te rompe alguien en quien más confías, te olvidas de confiar por completo.

Who will show me that not everybody is the same? It’s just too much of a risk to accept anyone’s helping hand to prove me wrong. It’s too much work to let myself love again. I did it once and it did me no good.

Lo peor de que te rompa alguien en quien más confías es la sensación de no ser digno que se te queda en la piel cada día.

Cuando te destrozan, ese sentimiento de no ser lo bastante bueno sigue hinchándose constantemente. Antes, llevaba mi autoestima como mi joya más preciada y ahora no me queda nada de ella.

I keep thinking that I am not good enough because the person I trusted the most got the best of me. The person I trusted the most didn’t see me as worthy, so he decided to break me. If I wasn’t worthy to the one I loved, how am I supposed to be worthy to somebody else?

Constantly looking over your shoulder, expecting the worst of people and being guarded sucks, but at least I don’t have to worry about being let down or hurt again. Nobody gets to break me again because nobody has a chance to get to me. I’m done letting people in.

Creía que hay bondad en todo el mundo. Creía que la gente a la que quiero es buena. Y ahora que me han pisoteado tantas veces, no he tenido más remedio que dejar marchar a quienes me han hecho agujeros en el corazón.

I don’t buy those empty promises about how they won’t hurt me. Because I know they will if I only give them a chance.

I am not being angry and I’m not throwing a tantrum. I’m simply disappointed in myself. I just don’t get how I could be so naive to give somebody the tools to break me and strongly believe he’d never would.

Maybe, I will allow myself to get back to the way I was before. Maybe, I will give life another chance. Maybe, I will decide to love and trust again, but that ‘maybe’ won’t be coming soon.