When you put your trust in someone, you do it in good faith. You trust people with all your heart thinking they’ll never use that trust to hurt you. But, usually, people that break us are those who we’d swore would never to do that.
The person I swore would never hurt me actually broke me to pieces. And how do you ever recover from getting broken by somebody you loved and trusted the most?
I tried to forget, but it didn’t work. I tried to keep it off of my mind, doing whatever I could to keep myself busy, but it didn’t help. Then I tried to understand, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it because I would’ve never done it. I’d never use someone’s trust in a bad way when I know what that person has been through. I would never pour gasoline on the fire.
I would never break somebody. I’d never do something this brutal to someone because I know how much it hurts. I am not scared of going to hell because I doubt it gets worse than this.
The thing that gets me the most is that I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be truly happy anymore. Because each time I smile, the thought of what happened to me starts knocking from the back of my mind. And I end up being completely powerless to it.
When you get broken by someone you trust the most, you get turned into another person.
I am not half the person I used to be. I don’t laugh half as much as I laughed before. I get anxious the moment somebody asks me something personal. I refuse to tell people how I feel.
The thing is, I’m ashamed. I don’t want to tell anybody about what happened to me. I don’t want anyone to know how naive I was or how I trusted the wrong person. I don’t want anybody to know how weak I was.
When you get broken by someone you trust the most, you get scared to love again.
I am petrified to give my heart to somebody again. I’m scared to open up. I don’t want this kind of thing to happen again.
I guard my heart and I push people away at the first sign of that butterfly awakening in my stomach. Because I know I wouldn’t be able to survive another heartbreak.
When you get broken by someone you trust the most, you forgot about trusting completely.
Who will show me that not everybody is the same? It’s just too much of a risk to accept anyone’s helping hand to prove me wrong. It’s too much work to let myself love again. I did it once and it did me no good.
The worst thing about getting broken by someone you trust the most is the feeling of not being worthy that keeps lingering through your skin every day.
When you get broken, this feeling of not being good enough keeps swelling constantly. Once, I carried my self-worth as my most precious jewelry and now I have nothing left of it.
I keep thinking that I am not good enough because the person I trusted the most got the best of me. The person I trusted the most didn’t see me as worthy, so he decided to break me. If I wasn’t worthy to the one I loved, how am I supposed to be worthy to somebody else?
Constantly looking over your shoulder, expecting the worst of people and being guarded sucks, but at least I don’t have to worry about being let down or hurt again. Nobody gets to break me again because nobody has a chance to get to me. I’m done letting people in.
I believed there is good in everyone. I believed people I love are good. And now that I got walked on so many times, I had no choice but to let go of those who burned holes in my heart.
I don’t buy those empty promises about how they won’t hurt me. Because I know they will if I only give them a chance.
I am not being angry and I’m not throwing a tantrum. I’m simply disappointed in myself. I just don’t get how I could be so naive to give somebody the tools to break me and strongly believe he’d never would.
Maybe, I will allow myself to get back to the way I was before. Maybe, I will give life another chance. Maybe, I will decide to love and trust again, but that ‘maybe’ won’t be coming soon.