14 señales a prueba de balas de que una viuda está lista para volver a salir con alguien

Volver a salir con alguien es difícil después de una ruptura o un divorcio. Así que imagínate lo difícil que puede ser tras la pérdida de un cónyuge.

Sin embargo, Iniciar una nueva relación sana es posible, y muchos cónyuges supervivientes encuentran la felicidad tras su pérdida.

But what are the signs that it’s time to get out there? What are the signs a widow is ready to date again? Read on, and you’ll find out.

14 señales de que una viuda está lista para volver a salir con alguien

Así es como una viuda que está lista para un nueva relación actuará:

1. La gran limpieza

Let’s get one thing straight: this woman spent years with her deceased husband. They shared their lives together, and it’s perfectly natural for her to be surrounded by memories of him. 

After all, it would be theoretically impossible to throw out everything that reminded her of him. And even if it were possible, this is something you shouldn’t even think of asking her to do.

However, before she starts a new, serious relationship, there is one thing she must do: the big cleansing. It’s time for her to decide which memories she wants to keep and which she is ready to let go of.

I mean, no man would feel comfortable being with a woman who, let’s say, still sleeps in her husband’s pajamas every night. You wouldn’t feel like she is ready to seguir adelante si su voz sigue en su contestador.

This is the kind of stuff I’m referring to. Of course, the big cleansing doesn’t include throwing away all of this man’s photos or getting rid of every trace he ever existed – that would be cruel.

2. Abrazar su vida de soltera

One of the most overlooked signs a widow is ready to date is the fact that she’s abrazó la vida de soltero. ¿Qué significa esto?

Well, jumping from one relationship to another is never healthy, even if we’re talking about a breakup or a divorce. Therefore, you can only imagine how unhealthy it is to entra en el mundo de las citas justo después de que tu pareja fallezca.

En este caso, the surviving spouse should spend some time by herself. I’m no Judge Judy, so I’m not here to tell you exactly how long this phase should last.

La conclusión es que, como viuda, tiene que aprender a vivir sola antes de volver a salir con alguien. Sí, su vida de soltera le traerá muchos retos nuevos y únicos, pero tiene que superarlos por sí misma.

This is the only way you’ll know she’s not looking for a new partner who will, in a way, replace her deceased spouse. Esta mujer necesita aprender a funcionar sin pareja en este mundo, y sólo cuando esto ocurra estará preparada para un nuevo capítulo en su vida y para un nuevo amor.

3. Dejar ir

Existen diferentes etapas y tipos de duelo. Y tras la pérdida de un cónyuge, una viuda tiene que pasar por todas ellas antes de entablar una nueva relación.

I mean, it’s impossible to move on unless you master the art of dejarse llevar first. I’m not saying that she should forget her husband’s birthdays or their anniversaries – but, after some time, she should stop living for those dates.

No, nobody expects her to stop mourning in the blink of an eye. In fact, that wouldn’t be healthy either.

Sin embargo, esta mujer necesita tiempo para procesar su pérdida, afrontar el duelo y, por último, aceptar que ha perdido a un ser querido y que nunca volverá. Sí, puede apoyarse en amigos, familiares o incluso grupos de apoyo mientras lo hace.

Nevertheless, it’s never acceptable for her new partner to be a shoulder to cry on. That’s the whole point: a widow isn’t ready to date again if she hasn’t let go of the memories, the pain, all the could-have-beens and should-have-beens…

4. Volver a salir con alguien

Many relationship experts will tell you pretty much the same thing: if you’re the surviving spouse, the first date you go on after the loss of a loved one won’t be the start of a new, serious relationship. And it shouldn’t be.

One of the signs a widow is ready to date is the fact that she’s been de nuevo en la piscina de citas durante algún tiempo. Sólo cuando pase por las diferentes etapas de las citas estará preparada para la maravillosa relación que se merece.

The safest way to begin is on social media and on online dating sites (in fact, specialized widower and widow dating sites exist). Of course, she should only see it as a starting point without allowing it to become a comfort zone she’s too scared to step out of.

After some time, she’s ready to go out with someone new face-to-face for the first time. Yes, every widow will probably have her share of good and not-so-good dates, but that is what getting back out there is all about.

Sólo entonces tendrá la oportunidad de reflexionar sobre sus normas, averiguar lo que quiere y decidir con qué no se conformará nunca.

5. Volver a encarrilar su vida

Una de las cosas más difíciles de hacer después de la pérdida de un ser querido es volver a la rutina diaria. Por supuesto, esto también es válido para las viudas que se enfrentan a la muerte de un cónyuge.

Al principio, cuando un cónyuge superviviente está pasando por la proceso de dueloTodo y todos se centran en sus sentimientos y en sus altibajos emocionales. Está rodeada de personas que la cuidan y se le permite procesar sus sentimientos como quiera.

But after a while, whether she likes it or not, she has to go back to her everyday responsibilities. She has to go to work and continue taking care of her kids. And that’s the hardest part – having to move on with her life without her loved one by her side.

Yes, this is quite difficult. She’s now on her own, and it’s her job to get her life back on track. However, it is necessary and non-negotiable.

Y sólo cuando lo consigue, la viuda está preparada para volver a tener citas.

6. Reinventarse a sí misma

For the longest time, this woman has been someone’s wife. And in many cases, she abandoned all of her other roles, especially if she was a housewife. Now that her husband is gone, she is left completely lost in this cruel world.

Una de las señales de que una viuda está lista para salir con alguien es que ha conseguido reinventarse.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that this woman has to necessarily change the essence of her being to become more attractive to men. A real man will love her for who she really is – that’s undebatable.

I’m just trying to say that she has to remember who she was before her marriage. She has to find out more about her likes and dislikes. What does she want to do with her life? What does she want to be when she grows up?

Most importantly, this is when she has to start working on herself. It’s the perfect time to put effort into becoming the best possible version of herself.

Básicamente, esta mujer tiene que llegar a ser feliz por sí misma sin esperar que una nueva pareja traiga la felicidad a su mundo.

7. Ha pasado suficiente tiempo

One thing is for sure: everyone heals and moves on at their own pace. However, a widow is most definitely not ready to date anyone right after her husband passes away. I’m talking about a time frame of a couple of weeks and even months.

No, I’m not here to judge those who get involved in something new during this time. Nevertheless, Empezar una nueva relación justo después de la muerte del cónyuge no es sano.

De hecho, esto probablemente sólo será un relación de rebote. Una viuda utiliza este nuevo romance como una forma de escapar de su dolor y como un mecanismo de supervivencia. No está preparada para iniciar un nuevo capítulo en su vida.

8. She doesn’t talk about her late spouse all the time

Let’s face it: what man wants to go out with a widow who talks about her deceased husband all the time? 

I’m not saying that she shouldn’t talk about him or about all the memories they shared together. However, a first date is not the place for this. These topics are for support groups or family gatherings.

Así que, si sales con una viuda que se pasa toda la noche hablando de su pérdida y de su anterior matrimonio, una cosa es segura: esa mujer no está preparada para volver a tener citas.

Lo peor es que probablemente lo hace sin darse cuenta. Esta mujer, por desgracia, siente el impulso incontrolable de mencionar a su marido todo el tiempo.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you – it’s just a sign that she needs more time to move on. And that’s perfectly fine.

9. She’s accepted that he’s gone

Aceptar la pérdida de un ser querido es probablemente una de las cosas más difíciles a las que debe enfrentarse un ser humano. Pero es la etapa final del duelo.

Y sólo cuando una viuda llega a esta fase está preparada para volver a salir e iniciar una nueva relación.

Durante mucho tiempo, esta mujer estuvo enfadada con Dios, con el Universo o con su marido por todo lo que había tenido que pasar. Pensaba en todas las cosas que podría o debería haber hecho de otra manera para evitar que él muriera.

Después, siguió buscando razones para lo sucedido. ¿Por qué su marido tuvo que irse tan temprano?

But now, she’s accepted her fate. Of course, she is still sad about it, but she knows it was meant to be.

She is grateful because she had such an amazing man by her side, but she knows that he’s not coming back.

10. Ella ve un futuro con un nuevo hombre

One of the signs a widow is ready to date again is her picture of the future. There doesn’t have to be a specific man in her life just yet; what matters is that she is able to imagine herself with someone. Trust me, this is a sign of massive progress.

This woman feels that she is ready to let her guard down and allow herself to fall in love with someone new. She’s thinking about getting married again, or at least what it would be like to move in with a new man sometime soon.

When she pictures her future, she doesn’t see herself dying alone. Instead, she imagines herself growing old with her partner and living as part of a team.

If a widow with this kind of mindset reenters the world of dating, she has a great chance of being happy again. Of course, she is not here to push anything – she is just open to new possibilities. And that is more than enough.

11. Listo para la intimidad física

¿Qué ocurre cuando una viuda está deseando tener citas, enviar mensajes de texto y llamar por teléfono con regularidad, pasar tiempo con un hombre y dejarle entrar en su vida, pero se niega a intimar con él de cualquier forma posible?

Don’t get me wrong – it’s one thing if this woman needs time to engage in anything sexual. After all, you have to understand that she’s slept with the same man for years, and it’s perfectly natural that she can’t get used to another body in the first couple of dates.

Pero, ¿y si ella no está interesada en ninguna forma de intimidad, ni siquiera después de algún tiempo? No busca una pareja romántica. Lo que esta mujer necesita es un amigo.

On the other hand, a widow who is ready to date will gladly hold hands with you, kiss you, cuddle, and eventually sleep with you. She won’t do it because you expect it from her – she will have the same desire for intimacy you have.

12. Sus palabras coinciden con sus actos 

Someone who wants you will put effort into pursuing you. It all comes down to this one sentence. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a man, a woman, a widow, a divorce, or about someone who is single.

I’m not saying that she will be needy, that she will make the first move, or that ella te perseguirá. However, her words and actions will show that she’s interested in you.

Esta mujer te enviará mensajes de texto, hará un esfuerzo por verte cara a cara y se esforzará por que formes parte de su vida. Se esforzará por conocerte mejor y, finalmente, por hacerte feliz. Invertirá su tiempo y energía en esta relación.

Yes, this might take a little longer, keeping in mind everything she’s been through. However, sooner or later, she’ll get there.

13. She’s gotten rid of the guilt

One of the bulletproof signs a widow is ready to date again is the fact that she is no longer wracked with guilt. This woman doesn’t feel like she is betraying her husband or the children she has with him.

She doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She is aware that by moving on, she is not erasing the memory of her deceased spouse.

Tristemente, muchas viudas luchan con estos pensamientos. Aunque sus maridos hayan fallecido, se sienten como si les estuvieran engañando cada vez que se les ocurre dejar que otro hombre se acerque.

Pero una mujer que está preparada para una relación seria ha puesto fin a estos dilemas. Sabe que su difunto marido querría que fuera feliz.

She knows that she can’t bring him back to life, no matter what she does. If she chooses a solitary life, she will only hurt herself and won’t bring any good to others.

She is not overwhelmed with guilt, and she knows that putting her happiness first isn’t selfish.

14. Presentarle a amigos y familiares

A widow who has really moved on with her life will allow you to become part of her life in the real sense of these words. This means that she won’t keep your relationship a secret. After all, why would she? She is a single woman and has every right to date.

Esto incluye presentarte a sus amigos y familiares. 

Of course, you shouldn’t expect her to do this until your relationship becomes serious, especially if she has little children. These things take time, but she will definitely put effort into you two getting there at some point.

But if she keeps hiding you as if you were her lover, even after you’ve reached certain milestones, it’s pretty clear: she’ll never give you the place you deserve in her life.

¿Cuánto tiempo esperan la mayoría de las viudas para tener citas?

Cada persona vive el duelo a su propio ritmo. Esto significa que no existe un plazo preestablecido para que una viuda vuelva a salir con alguien. Nadie puede acusarla de volver a tener citas demasiado pronto o de esperar demasiado antes de iniciar una nueva relación.

Sin embargo, la mayoría de las viudas esperan uno o dos años antes de plantearse salir con alguien. Es entonces cuando suelen necesitar pasar por todas las etapas del duelo y el tiempo necesario para volver a encarrilar sus vidas.

But every widow will feel when she’s ready to date. She shouldn’t feel pressured by her surroundings to start or stop dating, and she shouldn’t do anything she’s not comfortable with. Here’s a piece of advice for all the widows out there: listen to nobody but your gut.

¿Cómo saber si le gustas a una viuda?

If you’re not sure whether a widowed woman has romantic feelings for you, these signs might help you figure her out:

1. La haces reír

Esta mujer está de luto. Ha pasado incontables noches llorando hasta quedarse dormida. Toda su tristeza le ha hecho olvidar lo que se siente al sonreír, por no hablar de reír.

Pero fuiste tú quien consiguió cambiar eso. Al cabo de un tiempo, ves felicidad en sus ojos. Has traído positividad a su vida. Tu mera presencia la hace sonreír.

Besides, she’s admitted it herself: she can’t remember when last she laughed so hard. And it’s all thanks to you.

2. Se abre

This woman had her heart broken in a way you probably can’t even imagine. So she had no other choice but to build high and thick walls around it to protect herself from getting hurt again.

Sin embargo, derriba estos muros para ti. Te deja entrar y se abre a ti.

She talks to you about the trauma she’s been through. This woman is completely honest and doesn’t mind talking about the fears and demons that haunt her.

3. Ve un futuro contigo

Another sign a widow likes you is the fact that she’s planning a future with you. I’m not only talking about moving in together or getting married.

She feels safe enough to plan a trip with you next summer. When she talks about the holidays, you’re included in her plans.

There is less and less “I” in her sentences and more and more “we.” She sees you as her person and her partner in crime.

4. Te deja entrar en su vida

Si le gustas a una viuda, te permitirá formar parte de su vida. Encontrará tiempo para ti, te incluirá en sus aficiones y te presentará a sus amigos y familiares.

You will be more than a booty call or the man she calls when she’s lonely and has nothing better to do. You’ll be her plus one, and everyone will know she has a new partner.

She won’t hide you on her social media, nor will she be embarrassed to show you to the world.

¿Es difícil salir con una viuda?

I won’t lie: Salir con una viuda es más complicado que con una soltera. Le guste o no, arrastra una gran carga emocional. Además, las cosas se complican aún más si tiene hijos.

Sin embargo, Esto no es motivo para discriminar a estas mujeres que han sufrido mucho. Si te gusta una viuda y crees que tienes una oportunidad con ella, no dudes en intentarlo.

Just think of all the benefits this relationship might bring you. First of all, you’re dating a woman who knows how to love and be a partner. A woman who loved a man for the rest of his life, a loyal and faithful woman who will hopefully love you the same way.

¿Cuáles son las tres etapas de la viudedad?

Las tres etapas de viudedad incluyen la negación/shock, el duelo y, por último, la curación.

In the first phase, the widow refuses to accept that her husband has passed away. Of course, on some level, she is aware of what has happened. However, deep down, she chases away the thought of his death and tries to live her life as if he’s still alive.

After that comes grief. Whether she likes it or not, she realizes that he’s gone, and she is slowly starting to accept that. During this phase, sadness overwhelms her, and she feels like she will never be able to move on with her life.

Afortunadamente, a continuación viene la fase de curación. En este punto, la viuda acepta por fin su pérdida. Nunca olvida a su marido y sigue apreciando su recuerdo. Pero también se da cuenta de que está viva y aprende a apreciarlo.

Para terminar:

Just because you’ve seen all the signs a widow is ready to date doesn’t mean that you should rush things. 

She might be head over heels for you, but don’t forget that she’s been through a lot. The most important thing here is to take things slow – on her own terms.

Sí, eso requerirá algo de paciencia. Pero oye, si te gusta lo suficiente, merecerá la pena.Whatever you do, please, don’t break her heart – she’s been hurt more than enough. Please, don’t start anything if you don’t think you can handle a woman like her! In that case, it’s better to give up right at the start instead of giving her false hope!