Cómo seguir adelante: 10 maneras efectivas de dejar ir y sanar

Uno de los mejores y más inspiradores citas sobre cómo seguir adelante y dejar ir dice:

“Dejar ir doesn’t mean you forget the person completely. It just means that you find a way of surviving without them.”

Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, ¿verdad? Entonces, ¿cómo se hace exactamente?

¿Cómo seguir viviendo sin alguien que significa el mundo para ti?

¿Cómo se sobrevive a la pérdida de la persona a la que más quieres?

¿Cómo pasar página con un chico o una chica por los que aún sientes algo? Cómo superar una relación cuando amas a alguien?

¿Cómo soltar cuando tu corazón sigue aferrado?

How to move on in life, knowing it’s the right thing to do, when all you want to do is stay next to the person who is doing the harm?

Cómo seguir adelante tras un desamor? ¿Cómo superar un divorcio?

How to move on when you still love him, after everything he’s done to you?

How to move on when you still love her, even though she’s crushed you to pieces?

How to move on when your husband leaves you after years of marriage? How to move on when your wife turns your back to you, as if everything you’ve been through together doesn’t mean a thing?

¿Cómo seguir adelante después de una infidelidad? ¿Cómo seguir adelante después de una infidelidad?

How to convince yourself that it wasn’t your fault and that you’re worthy, despite everything this toxic person put you through?

¿Cómo seguir adelante con tu vida después de experimentar algunos de estos devastadores traumas emocionales que te cambiaron para siempre?

How to move on, knowing you’ve made some wrong choices in life? How to move on from past mistakes?

If these are some of the questions playing over and over in your mind, you’ve come to the right place because you’ll get answers to each one of them.

It doesn’t matter if you’re figuring out how to move on from a friendship or how to move when you love someone romantically: it is never easy.

However, it doesn’t make it impossible. I assure you that it can be done and here are 10 ways to do so.

Vaya a ningún contacto

It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering cómo seguir adelante tras una rupturaCómo seguir adelante después del divorcio (como hombre o como mujer), cómo seguir adelante después de una relación, cómo seguir adelante después de un rechazo o cómo seguir adelante después de un flechazo con el que no tuviste mucho, la respuesta es siempre la misma: el primer paso es ir sin contacto.

I don’t mean to only stop seeing this person – that’s not enough. Instead, what you need to do is cut all ties with the girl or the guy in question.

I’m sure you’ve already heard people saying: “far from the eyes, far from the heart,” right? Well, that can’t be truer.

Trust me, as soon as you remove this person from your life physically, you won’t have a hard time moving away from them in your head and heart too.

So, don’t hesitate to block all of their social media accounts or delete their number.

Even more, try your best not to visit the places where you know you might encounter them – the last thing you need is to be stressed out about whether the person you’re trying to forget will suddenly appear out from nowhere.

Also, it would be great if you could reduce all contact with everyone connected to the person you’re trying to superar (delete them from social media and don’t answer their calls!)

You don’t want to have anyone in your life who can give you all the information you need about them or who might remind you of your past relationship.

Of course, cutting ties with all of your mutual friends or even family members is especially difficult when you’re trying to figure out how to move on after a divorce (as a man or as a woman) or after a long term relationship, because there are a lot of people connecting the two of you.

This is especially the case if you’re wondering how to move on from the mother of your child or your children’s father, because it means that there’s a human being you guys need to co-parentpor lo que romper todos los lazos es imposible.

However, in the situation where going no contact is possible (i.e. when you’re trying to figure out how to move on from after rejection, how to move on after an affair which meant nothing to you, or how to move on from unrequited love), it is the thing you have to do.

If circumstances really don’t allow you to do so, try reducing your communication to bare necessities.

Aceptar la realidad

¿Cómo superar a un ex? ¿Seré capaz alguna vez de pasar página con la persona a la que amo?

¿Cómo superar una ruptura? ¿Cómo pasar página?

Si tu mente está repitiendo estas preguntas como un disco rayado, déjame decirte que el primer paso hacia tu recuperación es aceptar la verdad, por dura y dolorosa que sea, porque no tiene sentido huir de ella.

It is clear that you and the person you’re trying to superar simplemente no están destinados a ser, a pesar de la profundidad de sus emociones.

And that is something you’ll have to come to terms with, as much as it hurts.

Instead of lying to yourself that things will eventually work out to your benefit, that you two will get back together, or that they’ll realize they also love you, be brave enough to look the truth in the eyes.

This is not a phase because you’ve probably lost this person for good.

Engañarte pensando que no es una situación permanente no te llevará a ninguna parte.

En realidad, sólo empeorará la situación y ahondará tus heridas porque, tarde o temprano, tendrás que enfrentarte a la realidad de frente.

Una vez que lo hagas, el shock será aún mayor debido al tiempo que pasaste en el engaño.

So please, don’t try lying to yourself – you son más duro de lo que crees y puede manejar todo lo que la vida te depare.

But don’t overthink things

However, accepting the truth doesn’t mean overthinking it. It doesn’t mean that you should overanalyze your entire relationship (if there was one) and every minute detail of your breakup.

Also, it’s important not to start obsessing over this proceso de curación you’re going through.

If you keep on asking yourself, how long does it take to move on for most people or how soon is too soon to move on, trust me, you’ll get nowhere.

La ley es muy sencilla: cuanto más piensas en algo, más desesperado estás por no conseguirlo.

The same goes with moving on: if you keep track of your progress and keep on wondering how come you aren’t moving forward at the pace you want to, you’ll only do yourself harm.

In fact, the best thing you can do is let time do its work. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t focus on getting over someone from your past, but that shouldn’t be the only goal in your life.

Just go with the flow and allow yourself to recover. Remember, healing is not a linear process, it takes time and it definitely doesn’t happen when we want it to happen.

Different people need different amounts of time and energy to heal. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, Concentrate on yourself!

Don’t run away from your feelings

When you’re trying to figure out how to move on with a broken heart, the first impulse you have is to ignore all of these devastating emotions that have been tearing you down.

You think that if you pretend that the pain isn’t real, it will magically go away.

The same applies to the situations when you’re trying to figure out how to move on from being cheated on, how to move on from an relación abusivacómo seguir adelante después de un abuso narcisista, o cómo seguir adelante después de una relación tóxica de cualquier tipo.

Let’s face it, it seems easier to rather pretend that this cheating, this abuse, and this toxicity didn’t happen.

You think that the only way to leave everything bad that you’ve experienced behind is to dig it deep under the ground, then keep on lying to yourself that you are perfectly fine, when you’re actually falling apart from the inside.

However, this approach can be counterproductive. ll of your feelings are real and they won’t go away just like that.

Actually, they will fester if you don’t treat them on time.

That is why it’s crucial for you to accept your pain. Don’t let it define you and become the only thing that overwhelms you.

Don’t try to escape it either because it will catch you sooner or later.

Abraza tus heridas y conviértelas en cicatrices que siempre te recordarán la lucha que pasaste y superaste.

Y hablar de ellos

Otro paso en este proceso de dejarse llevar y avanzar es verbalizar tus pensamientos y sentimientos.

Como ya sabes, todo esto lleva su tiempo, pero es mucho más fácil con la ayuda de amigos íntimos.

Don’t be ashamed to talk about your feelings and everything that’s bothering you. After all, this is what your best friends are for, isn’t it?

If you have trouble trusting everyone around you, chose one person – one best friend you can confide in.

Elige a una persona que conozca todos tus secretos más profundos y deja que te eche una mano en este proceso de curación.

Sólo asegúrate de no permitir que tu corazón roto y tu ex se conviertan en el único tema del que hables con todos tus amigos cercanos porque eso te hará pensar más en ellos.

Instead, share with them when you’re feeling low, and then be sure to go on with other discussions.

Recuerda que también puede ser una forma de ayudar a otras personas que están en la misma situación pero son demasiado tímidas para verbalizar sus problemas.

Además, cuando ayudas a los demás, también te ayudas a ti mismo.

Busque un cierre consigo mismo

Letting go of the past is especially hard when you’re dealing with questions such as: How to move on without closure and how to move on after ser fantasma?

Una de las peores cosas que pueden ocurrir cuando una relación se acaba es que uno de los miembros de la pareja se marche, dejando a la otra persona preguntándose dónde fueron mal las cosas y si había algo que podría haber hecho para evitarlo.

Didn’t you at least deserve to know what went on? Why did the other person decide to call it quits?

¿Han dudado de su decisión? ¿Se han preguntado durante algún tiempo cómo saber cuándo pasar de ti?

¿O simplemente se despertaron una mañana, seguros de que alejarse de ti es lo correcto?

Did they ever look back, wondering if you’re okay and worrying if they damaged you beyond repair?

Or are they out there, living their best life, as if they hadn’t ruined yours? Did they move on while you’re still stuck right there where they left you?

You’re sure that things would be easier for you if you had the answers to all of these questions.

You think you’d let go of your past relationship in a blink of an eye if you just got closure.

Y lo peor de todo esto es que la única persona que podría darte todas las respuestas es la que te hizo daño en primer lugar.

Entonces, ¿qué te queda por hacer, si quieres deshacerte de todo este bagaje emocional de tu pasado y estar preparado para una nueva relación una vez que conozcas a la persona adecuada?

You don’t buscar el cierre de la única persona que puede dártela. En lugar de eso, busca un cierre contigo mismo.

Sí, has oído bien. Aceptas que el final de una relación era inevitable y, si es necesario, incluso inventas una razón para ello.

You don’t look for justifications and excuses for the other person. Instead, you just accept the apology you never got and you forgive them anyway.

Cierras ese capítulo de tu vida y aceptas el hecho de que algunas respuestas quedarán para siempre sin respuesta.

Trust me, with time, you’ll be perfectly fine with it!

Dejar de lado las expectativas

Una de las mejores citas sobre cómo mudarse ilustra perfectamente este punto:

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

And that is one of the biggest truths: you can’t move on until you let go.

However, after a relationship ends, a lot of people don’t actually cry over the fact it ended. They suffer for all the missed opportunities and for all the potential they thought it had.

They suffer because they’re convinced they’ve lost the only one they could ever love. And I’m certain that you’re doing the same.

You’re not only having a hard time due to your breakup, but also for having to give up all the future plans and goals you had that were related to this person.

Piensas en todos los "debería haber" y "podría haber sido". Piensas en todas las parejas que lo han conseguido y os ves a vosotros dos como unos fracasados.

You don’t consider this just as a desamor, you see it as a personal defeat too. You’ve put so much wasted time and effort into something that didn’t succeed.

Bueno, estas son todas las cosas que tienes que dejar ir si quieres seguir adelante.

Dejar ir las expectativas, los sueños y el potencial es un gran paso hacia la respuesta a la pregunta de cómo superar el pasado.

Te das cuenta de que todo sucede por una razón y que has tenido que pasar por todo esto por un bien mayor.

Acepta que algunas personas y cosas no están destinadas a ser y deja que Dios te muestre Su plan.

Observa todo como una lección

The best thing you can do when you’re trying to move past a painful experience is to see all the good sides of it.

Sé que al principio supones que no hay nada bueno en que te rompa el corazón alguien que pensabas que era la persona adecuada para ti, pero créeme, siempre lo hay.

Lo que te haya ocurrido te ha preparado para tu futuro. Aunque ahora no lo veas, todas tus las luchas eran en realidad bendiciones.

Puede que hayas perdido años dedicando tiempo a alguien equivocado, pero todo eso te ha ayudado a ser mejor para la persona adecuada que aún está por llegar.

Te preparó para esa relación sana que vendrá en el futuro y te formó para ser la persona fuerte que eres ahora.

Don’t look at the end of a relationship as something bad; see it as a head start for your future relationships in which you’ll know better.

Don’t look at your heartbreak as the end of the world, regard -look at it a valuable experience that is helping to shape you into the person you’re destined to become.

Nothing of this is bullshit; it really is the truth. Remember, you would never appreciate a healthy relationship that’ll come your way if you hadn’t had this toxic one in your past to compare it with.

You would never appreciate the new people who are about to enter in your life, if you hadn’t had the chance to meet all of those who have done you harm.

The truth is that life throws us different people and situations at us. And most of the time,we can’t control it.

Sin embargo, lo que sí puedes controlar es la forma en que reaccionas ante ellos. Y lo que es más importante, lo que puedes controlar es lo que aprendes y obtienes de todas las personas que se han cruzado en tu camino.

Believe me when I say. even the worst ones – those who made you feel the most negative emotions – can teach you something.

At the very least, you can learn to never be like them; that’s a valuable lesson in itself.

Alejarse de la negatividad

The next step in this process of moving on is to get rid of all the negative emotions and negative thoughts you’ve been dwelling on lately.

La forma de empezar con esto es cortar lazos con todos los que traen esta negatividad y pesimismo a tu mundo.

You can’t expect to have a positive outlook on life and preserve your mental health if you keep spending time with gente tóxica que siguen arrastrándote a su propia negatividad y oscureciendo tu camino.

I know that turning a new page in your life is not easy, but you simply have to move away from anything that’s causing you stress, from everyone who’s making you feel bad about yourself.

Para empezar, intenta rodearte de gente nueva que aporte cambios positivos a tu vida.

Start doing whatever makes you happy. Try a new hobby or exercise – whatever takes your mind of your primary problem.

Besides this being great for your future relationships, most importantly – clearing your life from toxicity is crucial to your own well-being.

Te ayudará a aumentar tu autoestima, a creer más en ti misma y a empezar a ver ese desamor que has vivido como algo que puedes y vas a superar.

Practicar el autocuidado

The key to moving on is loving yourself. This might sound like a load of rubbish, but it’s as true as it gets.

You know how you’re always nice and full of understanding towards your friends when they’re going through some rough time?

¿Cómo nunca les juzgas, sino que les coges de la mano en los malos momentos?

Well, it’s time to give yourself exactly the same treatment. Why do you pamper others in their time of need but put yourself down when you’re in a bad space?

Why you cheer for others, telling them that they will make it, but don’t have faith in yourself that you will overcome all of your difficulties?

¿Por qué empujas a los demás hacia adelante pero te menosprecias a ti mismo cada vez que cometes un error?

Why are you so hard on yourself? Why do you think of yourself as weak for going through all of this pain that you didn’t cause?

Una vez que empieces a ver tu verdadero valor y te des cuenta de que you’re worthy of self-love, you’ll understand that nobody is worth you suffering over them this way.

Y así de fácil, tu pregunta sobre cómo superar una relación o un desamor tendrá respuesta.

Once you start putting yourself first, you’ll settle for less in your new relationship. You’ll have enough self-esteem to look for the person you deserve, without lowering your standards.

Once you start practicing self-care, once you start taking care of our mental health and once you focus on your well-being, you’ll start living your best life.

Just like that, you’ll see that you never needed this person who was giving you so much headache in the first place.

You’ll see that all of this moving on and all of this suffering was all a part of growing up. And you’ll be thankful for things going the way they did.

Most of all, you’ll be proud of yourself for standing tall through the storm and for rising above the ashes, despite all the odds.