Así es como dije sí al desorden de mi vida

Te contaré un pequeño secreto, pero por favor, que quede entre nosotros: No soy ni de lejos la mujer que ves los sábados por la noche o en mi perfil de Instagram.

Ya sabes, ¿la que no para de publicar fotos de su maravillosa vida? ¿La que siempre tiene una amplia sonrisa en la cara y aparentemente nunca está de mal humor?

Sinceramente, esa mujer tiene muy poco en común conmigo.

Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking about that tall, skinny blond whose selfies you keep seeing on your social media feed. I don’t know who she is as I definitely don’t look like that.

In fact, I’ve just spent years mastering the art of looking like her.

¿Y qué me dices de su impresionante novio? Parece que los dos nunca discuten. Siempre le da sorpresas y parece el hombre más romántico del mundo.

Oh, ¿te refieres a ese tipo que se olvidó de mi cumpleaños el año pasado y luego compró 101 rosas para intentar compensarlo al día siguiente?

Para que quede claro, ¿seguimos hablando del tío que me hace sentir emocionalmente abandonada la mayor parte del tiempo?

¿Deberíamos empezar a hablar de su increíble carrera o de la forma en que siempre está rodeada de un montón de amigos?

The list can go on forever, but you get the picture. This woman’s life is apparently every little girl’s dream come true. It looks like she has it all.

Bueno, cariño, I’m here to tell you that nothing is as it seems.

I’m a professional at faking it, trust me. In fact, I’ve spent most of my adult years trying to convince strangers that my life is perfect.

I’m not just talking about my social media profiles, I’m also referring to the phony smile that’s become a part of me. Never mind the fact that I’ve been repressing my true emotions for as long as I can remember.

Basically, I’ve been living a lie for so long that I’ve ended up believing it as well. You see, I was so hard on myself that I refused to accept anything below perfection.

¡Pues que le den! The truth is that my life is a huge mess and I’m finally learning to embrace it. I don’t have to be flawless to be fantastic.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m honestly grateful for all of my blessings. I’m thankful y orgullosa de mí misma por todos mis éxitos y logros.

However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t experience failures as well. It also doesn’t mean that there aren’t days when I hate myself and would jump right out of my skin if I had the chance.

So, I’ve decided to cut the crap. I’ve decided to put a stop to these false pretenses and show the real me to the world.

I don’t look like a top runway model. My mother has never encouraged me, my job has made me reach my breaking point, my love life is falling apart, and I’m pretty sure I don’t have more than one amigo de verdad.

There are mornings when I don’t have the strength to leave my bed, there are days when I feel like the biggest loser in the world, and there are nights when I cry myself to sleep.

There are moments when my insecurities get the best of me and when my own self-doubts overwhelm me. There are days when I can’t see my worth no matter how much I try.

However, you don’t notice any of this, do you? Well, now you know. There, I said it. I’m not perfect nor will I ever be.

Así que ya está bien de ser tan duro conmigo mismo y de criticarme por tener la osadía de ser humano.

Enough with pretending that everything is okay while I’m falling apart. Enough with laughing when I would actually rather cry my eyes out.

Basta ya de compararme con los demás. Basta ya de malgastar mi tiempo y mi energía intentando cumplir algún estándar social impuesto.

Lo más importante: Enough with running away from the parts of me that I don’t like.

Don’t get me wrong: I didn’t come here to complain. Instead, este soy yo aceptando y amando a mi verdadero yoy le aconsejo sinceramente que haga lo mismo.

You know what I’ve figured out? Quien te ame de verdad amará también tu desorden y todas tus imperfecciones. Estas personas cuidarán de ti en tus mejores momentos y en los peores, pase lo que pase.

And, what about those who don’t? Well, they should have never gotten the privilege of your presence in the first place.