Ya no sé quién soy: 4 razones y qué hacer
"Ya no sé quién soy. Me siento perdida. Ya no me reconozco y he perdido toda esperanza de que mejore".
If you’ve been feeling like this lately, know that you are not alone. The loss of identity and losing your sentido del propósito es algo que, en cierto modo, se ha vuelto contagioso. Hay muchas personas que sufren este fenómeno, y cada individuo lo experimenta de forma diferente.
Some people are able to function on a daily basis because it’s not that severe, whereas some people are simply unable to deal with the most trivial tasks because the feeling of not being in touch with themselves is literally draining and killing them.
¿Es normal no saber quién eres?
Worry not. It’s perfectly normal to not know who you are because our identities are constantly changing. So, at times you may not know for sure who you are.
La verdad es que cada uno de nosotros se enfrenta a diferentes luchas a lo largo de nuestra vida y la autoidentificación es una de ellas. Podríamos decir que se trata de una lucha continua que a veces llega a ser agotadora e influye en la calidad de nuestra vida.
When that happens, we become obsessed with finding ways to reconnect with our true selves, which is perfectly normal. Sometimes we feel like a stranger in our own body but this feeling won’t last forever.
Es sólo una parte de nuestro viaje llamado Vida y su proceso de aumento de la autoconciencia, amor propioy la autoestima.
“To find yourself, you must first lose yourself.” – Jared Leto
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi
To find yourself means to lose yourself. To help others means to help yourself and that’s lo que hace la vida más fácil.
It’s normal to not know who you are. This means that you’re changing and changing means evolving.
What Does It Mean When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore?
When you don’t know who you are anymore, it basically means that you’ve lost touch with yourself and the things that are important to you.
It’s the feeling of constantly going around in circles while looking for that one thing that will give you a sense of purpose and belonging.
Significa comportarte de la manera que crees que deberías hacerlo o de la manera que los demás quieren que lo hagas en lugar de ser tú mismo y siguiendo tu corazón.
Being yourself means following your passions because that’s the essence of living a fulfilling life and increasing your self-awareness.
Recuerdo que repetía esta frase todos los días durante el instituto: I don’t know who I am más. Me costaba conectar con mi verdadero yo y encontrar mi propósito porque estaba drásticamente cambiando tanto mental como físicamente.
En aquel momento, tenía montones de preguntas sin respuesta y una de ellas era: Espera, ¿por qué me siento como I don’t know who I am?
Now, you’re probably thinking the same. You’re thinking about the possible reasons for this phenomenon. And to be frank, there are multiple reasons starting from your childhood.
I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore: 4 Possible Reasons Why You Feel This Way
Crecer en un entorno insalubre
La oportunidad de crecer en un entorno sano es de suma importancia para todos los niños. Ahora bien, ¿qué significa un entorno sano? Significa que el niño tiene libertad para expresarse y decidir por sí mismo.
Significa ser querido por los miembros de su familia, aceptado y no abusado emocionalmente, let alone physically. And when parents are acting overly protective toward their children, they are unintentionally destroying their children’s potential to establish their own identity.
Véase también: 6 errores que cometen sin querer los padres sobreprotectores
Think of it this way. If you’re constantly deciding what your child is supposed to do, your child will be unable to decide what’s good for himself in the future.
Y es entonces cuando empieza a gestarse la pérdida de identidad y la baja autoestima que puede desembocar en trastornos de salud mental.
If you feel like you’ve never had an opportunity to choose during your childhood, this might be the reason why you feel like you no longer know who you are.
It is because you’ve never been able to get to conócete a ti mismo en primer lugar. Las experiencias vitales conforman nuestros rasgos de personalidad.
Perderse en un estilo de vida ajetreado
Crowded streets, hurrying to work, hurrying back home to serve dinner to your family, worrying about your deadlines, worrying whether you’re wearing the right outfit, worrying whether you’ll be able to pay rent, and so on.
Un estilo de vida ajetreado (junto con las redes sociales) es el principal culpable de casi 90% de las enfermedades mentales y adversidades emocionales.
When you have a lot of things to do and you’re constantly stressing yourself about everything, you create problems and barriers in your head, and you become a problem to yourself.
Tu rutina diaria se vuelve insoportable.
Entonces empiezas a pensar: I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know how I feel anymore. And do you know why it is so? It’s because you no longer see yourself as a human being due to all of these things which are dominating you and forcing you to dance to their own music.
Ya no pasas tiempo de calidad con tu mejores amigos and loved ones because you simply don’t have time for that. Slowly but surely you become detached from your true self and that’s when you start panicking.
Perderte en la búsqueda de cosas que te agotan
If you’re constantly occupied with pensamiento negativo like: “What will happen next?”, you will be unable to enjoy the present and live the carefree life that you deserve.
Ser demasiado pesimista sobre las cosas es otra razón para sentirse perdido y no saber qué has hecho mal para llegar a esto. Piensa siempre en positivo sean cuales sean las circunstancias.
- Recuerda que tú no eres tu trabajo.
- Tú no eres tu pasado errores.
- Tú no eres tus inseguridades.
They don’t own you. They are all part of you because you chose it so. You are the one who defines yourself.
Bad things don’t define your identity. Only your thoughts and actions define who you are, and if you don’t recognize yourself anymore, it means you weren’t being fair to yourself.
You were too harsh to yourself, and you neglected your body and mind’s desire to express themselves and do what makes you happy. You neglected the importance of autocuidado emocional.
It means that you haven’t been yourself for a long time because you were too busy chasing other things that have killed your inner self. And now is the time to fix this.
Complacer a la gente
One of the easiest ways to lose yourself is by trying to please everyone. By going out of your way to make other people happy and to win their approval you’re slowly but surely losing yourself.
Preocuparse demasiado por lo que los demás pensarán de ti is another surefire way to lose yourself. Keep in mind that there are some things you cannot influence and one of those things is other people’s opinion.
People will always think but that doesn’t mean that you should always worry about that. You need to focus on things that you want to do for yourself and not because of someone else. That is the only way to find yourself again.
Esta vez, elige complacerte a ti mismo en lugar de a los demás porque te lo mereces y tú también lo sabes.
How Can I Be Myself When I Don’t Know Who I Am?
When you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, the first step to reconnecting with yourself is getting to know yourself again. In order to be yourself again, you need to escucha tu mente y tu cuerpo.
Sí, una crisis de identidad llamada I don’t know who I am más can be, in a way, “cured”. The following tips will help you find yourself again and increase your self-awareness.
7 maneras de volver a conectar con tu verdadero yo
Conócete a ti mismo (otra vez)
Pay attention to the things that you used to enjoy, and write them on a sheet of paper if needed. As you’re imagining them, absorb the feeling you get. Do you siéntete feliz y contento por ello? ¿Te hace sentir totalmente mejor contigo mismo?
It probably does because that’s who you really are. Your preferences are a part of your being, and you should never neglect them because you’re too busy with other things. Your well-being and self-care should always be a priority.
If you’ve always enjoyed playing volleyball, get up, call your friends, and start making plans to play again.
Yet, if you’ve never been interested in any particular activity, start trying everything, and, believe me, you’ll know when you’ve found something worth spending your time on.
The goal here is to find that little spark and ignite the fire that will revive your sense of identity. And this will take time, but believe me, you’ll succeed.
Escucha a tu mente y a tu cuerpo
Tienes que estar en contacto con tus sentimientos y entender lo que tu cuerpo intenta decirte. Esto te ayudará a centrarte en lo que te gusta y lo que no.
Tu mente y tu cuerpo son tus mejores amigos cuando se trata de tus intereses y pensamientos. Una vez que empieces a jugar al voleibol, presta atención a cómo te sientes durante esa actividad.
Aplica este método a cualquier otra actividad. ¿Ciertas actividades te hacen sentir feliz o más bien tenso? ¿Te gustan más las noches de cine que las discotecas? ¿Te gustan más los paseos largos que las noches de cine?
Éstas son las preguntas que debes hacerte. Tus sentimientos y reacciones ante distintas actividades te ayudarán a desarrollar una conexión más profunda tanto con tu mente como con tu cuerpo.
That’s how you’ll reconnect with your true self again.
Ser consciente de los pensamientos negativos
¿Tiene a menudo pensamientos negativos? ¿Tienes dificultades para expresar gratitud por las pequeñas y grandes cosas de la vida?
El pensamiento negativo equivale a infelicidad e insatisfacción con el estilo de vida actual. Tener sobre todo pensamientos negativos significa que hay que cambiar algo.
Tienes que redirigir tus pensamientos centrándote en las cosas positivas que te han pasado y te están pasando en este momento. Tienes que esforzarte por expresar gratitud for everything you have instead of worrying about the things that you don’t.
Keep in mind that everything in life is a process. Just because you haven’t achieved some things so far, this doesn’t mean that you won’t in the near future.
Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes. Understand that you have your own unique pace and there’s no need to compete with anyone.
Sustituye el pensamiento negativo por el coraje y la convicción de que todo sucede por una razón y que, al final, todo será exactamente como debe ser.
Tomar decisiones
El proceso de toma de decisiones está estrechamente relacionado con tu identidad porque expresar tus deseos y anhelos es algo que forja tu identidad y principalmente confianza en sí mismo.
And if you’ve always been ashamed of letting people know what you really want and what you really like, the chances are that you’ve suffocated yourself in order to appease others.
La sentencia I don’t know who I am más no debe impedirle tomar decisiones.
Let your opinion be heard on every single topic and discussion. Make a decision that from now on, you’ll begin making decisions, and you won’t stop until it becomes your second nature.
Decide to read that self-improvement book you’ve been thinking about for some time now. When you’re in a shopping mall, decide that you’ll buy that T-shirt even though it looks like something no one would ever buy. But, who gives a shit?
You don’t care if others will like it. The most important thing is that you like it, and you’ll be the one who’ll wear it without the fear of being judged for it.
Start making decisions, from the small to the big ones, and soon you’ll descubra su yo interior. Be happy for who you really are, and appreciate your flaws because that’s the key ingredient when it comes to restoring your sense of self.
Identifique sus valores fundamentales
¿Le gusta complacer a la gente? ¿Te desvías a menudo de tu camino para hacer cosas por los demás sólo para ser aceptado y alabado por ellos?
Perhaps that’s the main reason why you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore in the first place. Don’t worry, you can fix that.
It’s time for you to identify your valores fundamentales instead of living up to other people’s expectations. Sometimes, you spend so much time living up to someone else’s standards that you start thinking you have the same core beliefs as them.
You do that because you want them to love you. You think by achieving that you will finally feel complete but that doesn’t happen. Instead, you feel even more lost than you initially were.
It’s time to change that:
- Escribe tus valores fundamentales.
- Piensa en las personas que más admiras.
- Considera tus experiencias.
He aquí algunos valores fundamentales para empezar:
- Logros
- Ambición
- Empatía
- Cuidado
- Caridad
- Colaboración
- Creatividad
Vive el momento
Respira profundamente. Siente cómo el aire llena tus pulmones y exhala lentamente. Mantente presente. Concéntrate en tu respiración y luego mira a tu alrededor.
Are you satisfied with the life you’re living right now? Are there some things that you want to change? If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?
Be honest with yourself and your abilities. Focus on the things you can influence and most importantly, don’t worry about the past and things you cannot change.
En su lugar, vivir el momento. Vuelve a respirar profundamente. Siente cómo el aire llena tus pulmones y exhala lentamente.
Sepa que la felicidad está ahí mismo, delante de usted. Todo lo que tienes que hacer es empezar a vivir y dejar de pensar demasiado.
Comprométase
When you’ve finally discovered your preferences, now you need to stay engaged by doing things you like. It means you need to make this a part of your routine because it’s the only way to encontrar la verdadera felicidad.
Creating a routine where you do things that make your heart beat faster and make you feel like you’ve found your purpose means shaping your identity. When you repeat actions that make you happy over and over again, you’re creating happiness.
Mantenerte comprometido también significa estar en contacto contigo mismo y con tus miedos internos. Nunca los descuides porque volverán a ti y te crearán enormes consecuencias cuando menos te lo esperes.
Always face your fears because they are also a part of who you are, and they should be treated that way. Love all of your sides, positive and less positive, because if you don’t, nobody else will.
Reflexiones finales
Don’t let the sentence I don’t know who I am más definirte o hacerte pensar demasiado. Eres mucho más que eso.
You’re the one who’s in charge of your own happinessy nada ni nadie tiene nada que ver con ello.
Estar de acuerdo con los demás nunca te definirá. Tampoco lo hará tener el mejor trabajo del mundo. Es algo que haces, no lo que eres. Y saber quién eres te convierte en quien realmente eres.
