Levanta la mano si de alguna manera siempre es culpa tuya

"Siempre revientas por nada", recuerdo que me gritó mi ex pareja mientras discutíamos una vez más porque él no hacía su parte del trabajo.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is, you’re the one who wanted to live in this stupid, overpriced apartment anyway,” he said pointedly as if he had nothing to do with it.

Como siempre, fue mi culpa. Yo era el redactor jefe de lo que saliera mal esta vez. Yo era el malo.

¿Le ocurre esto a usted? ¿Estás cansado de ser siempre el ¿un tipo malo?

It sounds fun if you’re a TV series character, but when it comes to real-life relationships, it’s no fun at all.

It’s tu culpa he broke the glass that you left on the counter. It’s tu culpa he comes home tired from work and never does anything productive. It’s tu culpa things are not “how they used to be.”

You’ve probably been told too many times that you were to blame for something that happened totally beyond your control. Apart from being a complete lie, it must’ve been hurtful to hear, especially from a loved one.

I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, I kept on believing it was somehow my fault even though it never was, and let me tell you, it has left consequences.

Even today, I struggle to see things objectively and not fall into the loop of self-blaming, even when nobody suggests I’m guilty of something.

Not only that, but I have an unhealthily frequent habit to excuse and explain others even when they don’t deserve it.

Things like this slowly take over your life. They shape your thoughts and before you know it, you’re stuck in another repeating cycle of feeling guilt and making excuses.

How come one person can be responsible for everything that goes wrong in someone else’s life? The short answer is they can’t and never can be.

La respuesta larga es más complicada. La persona que culpa busca desesperadamente razones para su propia miseria en otra parte.

Naturally, it’s easier for them, and people in general, to point the finger at someone else, instead of looking at themselves in the mirror. This is exactly why there’s so much misunderstanding and hate in the world.

On the other hand, there are those who take the blame without realizing it’s not theirs, and – you guessed it – this is what creates an unhealthy dynamic between the two.

Ninguno de ellos tiene razón y, a decir verdad, lo más probable es que sigan repitiendo patrones de comportamiento que aprendieron en el pasado.

Por suerte, las cosas se pueden cambiar una vez que las hacemos conscientes.

People who blame everyone else but themselves always prey on those with a lack of sel-esteem – who already have a problem with guilt.

But there’s the catch. The person who’s being accused also has a problem. They also have some kind of victim mentality that keeps landing them in the same situations.

Recuerdo que llegué a un punto en el que todo lo que hacía me parecía mal. No tenía límites personales. No me respetaba a mí misma.

It’s true that people can take advantage of you, but it’s also true that you can stop them.

Con el tiempo, me di cuenta de que todas las personas son responsables de sus propios actos, incluida yo.

We’re all guilty of something, just don’t let it define you.

Sometimes things are beyond our control, however, how we react to them isn’t.

That’s when I learned to refuse to take on someone else’s burden if it’s going to break my back. That’s when I learned that it’s not culpa mía.

En lugar de eso, empecé a centrar mi atención en las cosas que se pueden cambiar y arreglar, en lugar de sentir una culpa sin sentido.

Desde entonces, no he vuelto a mirar atrás.