¿Soy atractivo? Todo lo que necesitas saber

¿Soy atractivo? Esta es la pregunta que todas las mujeres se hacen una y otra vez, comparándose con las modelos de las revistas y con la belleza editada.

I’m a woman and naturally, I can’t say I’m immune to asking myself the same unending question and sometimes I just feel like guys have it so much easier.

There aren’t as many edited supermodel men in high-fashion magazines who are imposing these impossible (completely altered) beauty standards, as if women need an extra reason to feel insecure.

We see all those Victoria’s Secret supermodels strutting their hot, thin bodies on the runway, with their glowing skin and perfect features, thinking this is what we should aspire to be.

But that’s only half the truth. Do you really believe that these women wake up like that? In their perfect, skimpy outfits, with their skin so soft and bodies as fit as ever? Of course they don’t!

What you don’t realize is that they all have their entrenadores personales, they go on these massive diets and they don’t let themselves indulge nearly as much as ‘normal’ people do.

That is all for show. They need to sell their beauty because it’s their job, so you really shouldn’t base your opinions on yourself looking at models and magazine covers. That’s not real. ¡Lo eres!

¿Soy atractivo? ¿Cómo me usted ¿te ves a ti mismo?

Lo más importante aquí es cómo te ves TÚ. Deja de preguntarte si los demás te encuentran atractiva y sé tu propia voz de la razón.

It’s difficult judging yourself objectively when you’re the one who looks at yourself every single day and being so used to your features, it’s difficult to know anymore how you truly see yourself.

You’re the one who knows about every single zit, even though others probably couldn’t even find it. You’re the one who knows you’re having a bad hair day, even though to an outside onlooker, you look perfectly normal.

Your mood often dictates your feelings about yourself and more often than not, you’re probably way too harsh on yourself. Am I right?

Antes de que te lo preguntes, “Am I attractive?’’ think about what it is that you find appealing in others. What the first thing is that you’ll notice on otra mujer y lo que realmente encuentras atractivo. Sé sincera contigo misma.

¿Es el aspecto físico el único factor decisivo o hay algo más?

¿Te gusta ver una melena bonita y sana, ondeando al viento, como si fuera la portada de Vogue y te murieras por tenerla en la cabeza?

Or do you find the eyes to be the most attractive part of a person? Do you like looking into somebody’s eyes and immediately being so drawn to them, as if their eyes hold the secrets of the universe you’re craving to uncover?

Or is there something more that you just can’t resist? Something that instantly makes you see this person differently, in a more positive light?

Looks aren’t everything. And regardless of what you might think, the thing that you are drawn to in another person is most probably what others notice about you too!

It’s your personality. The way you condone yourself with those you love and with perfect strangers, the way you carry a genuine smile on your face whenever you see someone you care about and the abundance of positive energy you seamlessly spread around you.

It’s the way you’re always ready to help a person, no matter who it is. Your kindness and ability to put yourself second and be of service when you’re needed. It’s your big heart that makes you attractive.

And nobody’s opinion of you matters nearly as much as your own does, remember that.

Now, if you’re on dating apps, chances are you’re probably basing tu valor off of some superficial comments from guys behind their screens who probably don’t have anything better to do with their lives.

That’s all cool and shit but dating apps aren’t a measure of anything, let alone of how attractive you are and here’s why!

¡Tu foto de perfil no puede captarte en toda tu esencia!

En primer lugar, una foto no representa quién eres or how attractive you are. A photo is literally one pose from a particular angle and there’s nothing more one can see than this one moment in time y tú eres mucho más que eso.

A photo does not show what you look like when somebody makes you laugh so hard that you just can’t stop grinning from ear to ear, completely spontaneously and genuinely.

A photo does not show the way your eyes look in all different kinds of lighting. It doesn’t show how magical it is to see you during sunset, as the sun is setting over your face and making your eyes light up in that particular faint light.

Cada persona se siente atraída por algo diferente.

Tómate a ti mismo como ejemplo. Let’s say you’re attracted to guys with dark hair, light eyes, over six feet tall and with a great sense of humor!

They need to be into rock music and not take life too seriously. You also would prefer it if they liked animals, as you’re a huge animal lover and your dog is your world.

And now let’s take your mejor amigopor ejemplo. She is probably attracted to those mysterious types of guys, who are more than they let people see and don’t really look typically handsome but have that certain something that makes them stand out.

They aren’t into the rock scene but are more quiet and reserved and exude this mystical energy that she just finds so damn attractive.

She doesn’t care about looks at all, all she wants is someone with the same quirky outlook on life as hers.

Y ahí lo tienes. Sus opciones en los hombres no podría ser diferente y, sin embargo, ambos absolutamente encantaría encontrar cada tipo descrito anteriormente y tendría una gran aversión por el otro.

¿Significa eso que un tipo es menos atractivo que el otro? No. Lo único que significa es que tú y tu mejor amiga tenéis ideas completamente distintas de cómo es un hombre atractivo y ninguna de las dos estáis equivocadas.

It’s all so objective. And what I’m trying to say is, if you’re not one guy’s cup of tea, that doesn’t mean you won’t be everything and more to the next guy!

Be thankful that tastes in men and women differ from person to person, as that gives you so many more chances with so many different guys. And isn’t that just awesome?

There’s also this thing called chemistry!

La forma en que ves a alguien en las fotos y cómo es realmente en persona son dos cosas completamente diferentes.

You can see someone you think is so good-looking and cute and feel like you’d really hit it off with them and then when you meet them in person you realize that they have the personality of a pineapple!

And off they go! That’s what chemistry is for. You keep asking yourself, “Am I attractive?’’ when you should really be asking yourself whether there’s chemistry there or not.

A person can be as gorgeous as it gets on the outside but when their personality is bland and they don’t click with you on any level, what’s the point really?

This is why being attractive is not something you should be putting all your attention on. Your looks aren’t everything. If there’s no mental connection, there’s really nothing there.

Every single person on this planet is attractive to somebody. You may look out the window and see a guy you don’t like one bit but there is probably somebody out there who would find him the cutest!

¿Te ves tan atractivo como los demás?

There’s always a big gap between how attractive you perceive yourself and how you actually look to others. Oftentimes, we feel like we’re way less good-looking than we actually are.

Esto se debe a que escudriñas cada detalle de ti mismo. Ves cada defecto, cada cana y cada pequeña imperfección de tu cara.

You see those stretch marks and cellulite and you most definitely don’t like seeing those love handles.

But others don’t see that the way you do. They see a cute smile and that adorable gap between your teeth. They see your natural face in all of its beauty, not even thinking about that tiny zit you hate so much.

La persona que te quiere por lo que eres amará todos esos defectos que tanto odias y los verá como cosas que te hacen especial.

He won’t care that you have cellulite. He won’t care about that barely-there pimple.

Todo lo que esta persona verá es a alguien que es perfecta a sus ojos. Una mujer atractiva, inteligente, ingeniosa, cuya risa es más fuerte que la música y que siempre dice las cosas como son.

Y precisamente por eso debes dejar de preguntártelo, “Am I attractive?’’ y empieza a centrarte en encontrar a alguien que te quiera tal y como eres. Con defectos y todo.