Te odio por no quererme lo suficiente
Te quise durante mucho tiempo.
To be honest, I don’t even remember who I was before you entered my life. You changed the essence of my being and you became the center of my world. And you know very well how intense my love for you was.
You know there didn’t exist a thing I wouldn’t do for you. I was ready to move mountains and I was ready to fight the world, if needed, just for the sake of your love. And I was convinced that I would love you until the end of time.
Estaba segura de que no había nada que pudieras hacer para que dejara de quererte.
And that is why I am sure you won’t believe this when you read it. Damn, I don’t even believe it myself.
But I am here to tell you that you’ve killed all the love I felt for you. You’ve ripped out my heart and you’ve torn it into pieces. There was nothing left of me to love you. So I am telling you that I don’t love you anymore.
No sólo eso—Te odio desde el fondo de mi ser.
I hate you for never thinking I was enough. As my boyfriend, you should’ve helped me with my self-esteem. If you couldn’t do that, the last thing you should’ve done was undermine me all the time. But the weaker I was mentally, the easier it was for you to manipulate me.
Trabajaste muy duro para hacerme aún más insegura. Mientras estuve contigo, pasé años wondering why I wasn’t enough. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t you love me the way I loved you?
Me hiciste pensar que todo era siempre culpa mía y que, por mucho que lo intentara, nunca era suficiente para ti.
Te odio por no haberme elegido nunca. Te odio por todas esas otras chicas con las que siempre sentí que tenía que competir. Te odio por tratarme siempre como una opción al final de tu lista de prioridades.
Te odio por hacerme mendigar migajas de tu afecto. Te odio por no haberme elegido nunca por encima de nadie, a pesar de todos los sacrificios que hice por ti.
Te odio porque siempre me has hecho perseguirte.
I don’t know whether your ego was so fragile or you were a psychopath who enjoyed my suffering but you always did everything you could to make me come to you. You did everything you could to make me chase you and literally beg you to be with me. And you never did anything similar.
Aunque todo fuera culpa tuya, siempre te negabas a asumir la responsabilidad y me manipulabas haciéndome creer que yo te obligaba a hacer o decir algo que me causaba dolor. Me dejaste muy claro que nunca me perseguirías, demostrándome que mi existencia en tu vida tenía poca importancia para ti.
Te odio por guiándome all these years. You know that you were never completely honest with me. You never told me that things weren’t for real and you never told me that you could never give me everything I needed.
En cambio, me mantuviste a tu lado sólo porque te gustaba tener a alguien siempre a tu lado, a pesar de todo lo que hacías. Te aseguraste de darme sólo lo suficiente de tu amor y atención para que me quedara contigo. Y la tonta de mí confundió eso con amor verdadero. Te odio por jugar conmigo.
With you, I never knew where I stood. One day, you were the most perfect boyfriend on the planet, promising me the world and giving me hope that everything would be OK between us. And the very next day, you would go back to your old ways, acting like I didn’t mean a thing to you.
You were constantly keeping me in this never-ending circle and it was driving me crazy. But I guess that was what you wanted all along, wasn’t it?
Sobre todo, te odio por no haberme querido nunca lo suficiente. Desde el principio de todo entre nosotros, en el fondo, sabía you weren’t capable of love. Y pensé que eso cambiaría con el tiempo.
I thought you would see how much I loved you and that you would learn to appreciate everything I was doing for you. But no, you could never get yourself to love me. Or you didn’t want to do it.
En cualquier caso, la cuestión es que nunca sentí toda la capacidad de tu amor. Y no sé si tengo derecho a odiarte por ello, pero sigo odiándote y no hay nada que pueda hacerse al respecto.
