¿Cómo reaccionan los infieles cuando se les acusa? (9 formas chocantes)
If you doubt your partner’s fidelity and want to confront them about it, the first question you probably have is:
¿Cómo reaccionan los infieles cuando se les acusa? ¿Qué tipo de comportamiento cabe esperar cuando se aborda esta delicada cuestión?
It’s more than enough that you have seen all the signs of cheating. You’re heartbroken and emotionally devastated by the mere thought that your partner stabbed you in the back like this.
On top of it all, now you must take over the role of a lie detector and do your best to get to the bottom of their reaction. Are they lying to get away with infidelity? Did you really imagine things and they’re telling the truth?
Pues bien, la buena noticia es que nuestros expertos en relaciones te darán las respuestas a todas estas preguntas, incluida la más importante: ¿Cómo reaccionan los infieles cuando se les acusa?
Denegación
How do cheaters react when confronted? Well, most married men and women’s first impulse is to deny everything.
No hay mucho que filosofar al respecto; simplemente te dirán que su aventura nunca existió y que se trata de acusaciones falsas.
First and foremost, your cheater can’t be sure how much you know. They’re not even certain whether you’re bluffing or not, so this is always the first card they’ll play.
After all, they have nothing to lose. If they’ve been caught, nothing they can say can fix the situation.
On the other hand, if you’re really bluffing, the worst thing they can do is admit everything. In that scenario, they would be signing their own death sentence.
Therefore, most cheaters think that denial is the only way out of this horrible situation. No matter how strong the evidence you have is, they will try to convince you that they’re the one telling the truth.
For example, if your best friend saw your partner with another man or woman, naturally, you’ll want to talk to your other half about it.
Sin embargo, en lugar de admitir sus errores, probablemente harán todo lo posible por convencerte de que tu amigo miente.
Everyone who can confirm your story is allegedly manipulating you and they’re all jealous of your idyllic love life. These are all false accusations!
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, it’s a common tactic all adulterers use to brainwash their victims. You see, this technique works in most cases.
Whether you like it or not, after you hear them convincing you, you’ll start doubting something you know is true.
El hecho es que quieres creerles. Quieres que todo esto no sea más que un malentendido y que no sea más que un mal sueño.
On top of that, they’re so persuasive. You can show them proof or bring out witnesses but they will stick to their story.
Believe it or not, there is a subgroup of cheaters who wouldn’t admit to having an affair even if their life depended on it.
You might be the one who caught them red-handed but even that won’t be reason enough for them to come clean.
Juegos de culpas
How many times have you heard the infamous sentence, “My significant other accused me of cheating but they pushed me to have an affair,” while talking to an adulterer?
These are the people who can’t or don’t want to accept responsibility for their own actions. Instead, they try to make you, the person they consciously cheated on, feel guilty for their unfaithfulness.
Reading it like this, you notice how absurd this sounds, right? Well, what’s even worse is that this keeps on happening.
De hecho, una de las respuestas más comunes a la pregunta de cómo actúan los infieles cuando se les acusa es que intentarán participar en el juego de la culpa.
Según los expertos en relaciones, ésta es una forma en la que el adúltero proyecta su propia culpa en la víctima. De repente, las tornas cambian y el adúltero se convierte en acusador.
Una de sus primeras excusas será que se sintieron desatendidos emocionalmente en la relación. Esto afectó a su salud emocional y mental y destruyó su autoestima.
They weren’t getting enough attention, you weren’t intimate as often as they wished, they feel like you never listen to them, they think you don’t understand them, you were working too much, which left you no time for them…
The list goes on and on. You see, some cheaters really believe in all of these things they’re saying. This is especially true for married women and men.
Son ellos los que suelen quejarse de que su matrimonio ha caído en la rutina y que se han visto casi obligados a buscar algo de emoción en otra parte.
How convenient, isn’t it? It’s easier for them to accept what they’ve done if they make you look like the bad guy of the story.
En este caso, de repente, él o ella te acusa de todo lo malo de la relación. Antes de que te des cuenta, la verdad se ha tergiversado.
Now, you find yourself apologizing for something the cheater did. Apparently, they would never have made such a mistake if you hadn’t made them do it.
Don’t misunderstand me; it’s possible that they really did feel like this. You might have given your entire self but for some people, that’s not enough and they end up feeling neglected, unloved or unwanted.
However, that is no justification for their horrible actions. You see, if your partner wasn’t happy next to you, they could have left you in good time before having an affair.
Please, don’t allow them to make you feel guilty and don’t play along with this blame game. Remember one thing: you’re the victim here and the victim is never to blame!
Cheating was their choice, which they consciously made. Your behavior could never make them do something they didn’t want to do.
Besides, if they noticed your relationship was in trouble, why didn’t they do something to improve it? Why didn’t they talk to you about it in time?
Why didn’t they tell you how they felt before fooling around behind your back? After all, they have no trouble expressing their dissatisfaction now, do they?
Relacionado: ¿Extrañan los infieles a su ex? La verdad revelada
Excusas vacías
Según los expertos en relaciones, cuando una persona engaña, rara vez asume toda la responsabilidad de sus actos. En lugar de respaldar sus errores, intentan ocultar todo lo que han hecho.
Fue algo puntual. (It lasted for a couple of months but I really do hope that you didn’t dig around and find all the details.)
Me manipuló para que estuviera con ella. (Apparently, I’m nothing but an immature boy who can’t make decisions on his own. This mean girl wanted to destroy our relationship and she tricked me into cheating on you.)
Estaba borracho y aún no tengo ni idea de lo que hice. (Alcohol was just an excuse for me to do something I obviously wanted to do all along. Also, I have no control over my actions when I’m drunk.)
It didn’t mean anything. (But what we have doesn’t mean much either, since I was ready to betray you like this.)
Era la primera vez que ocurría. (It’s been happening for a while now but this is the first time I got caught.)
If you have ever been cheated on, you know that the above lines are the answers to the question of how do cheaters react when accused. You’ve heard at least one of these sentences.
However, if you’re smart enough, you also know what each one of them really means. You see, some cheaters will lie and deny that the affair ever took place.
Sin embargo, también los hay que admiten sus fechorías. Sin embargo, mentirán sobre los detalles. Para ser precisos, tergiversarán la verdad a su favor.
At first, you’ll think that they’re being honest. They’ve made a mistake and if they wanted to lie, they wouldn’t have admitted doing something as awful as this in the first place.
However, what you don’t see here is that these are nothing but empty excuses. This is a way every cheater justifies themselves for their wrongdoings.
I’m begging you to understand one thing: they cheated on you because they consciously decided to do so. There isn’t any excuse that can annul their sins.
Even if they admit that they are a jerk who is sorry for hurting you, this is also probably a lie. Let’s face it; how come they didn’t think this way about themselves while they were engaged in an affair?
Falsas promesas
All cheaters who ask for a second chance will promise you that they will change. All of a sudden, they’re ready to do whatever it takes to make you happy. This was a moment of weakness and it will never happen again.
Hearing that, you assume that you’re about to live in a fairy tale. This nightmare is far behind you and you don’t have to wonder how to deal with it anymore.
You think that your significant other has finally realized that you’re the one. They won’t be making the same mistake ever again and everything in your relationship will be in perfect order.
Te colman de amor, te prestan toda su atención y, por último, te tratan como te mereces desde el primer día.
De hecho, su matrimonio o relación parece estar mejor de lo que estaba antes de que ocurriera esta aventura.
Sin embargo, esto sólo dura hasta el pareja infiel está seguro de que se han ganado su perdón.
It takes them a while to get back under your skin, a while to regain your trust and to convince you not to leave them. As soon as they’re certain of their position in your life again, believe me, they’ll go back to their old ways.
The number one promise that people who cheat make is: I won’t do it ever again! However, it’s a proven fact that many repeat their sins from the past, as soon as they get the chance to. Why? Simply because they can.
Every time you forgive your partner for cheating, you’re giving them the green light to keep up with the good work.
You’re sending them a clear message: your behavior is acceptable and I will take you back every time you promise me that you will change.
Por supuesto, hay algunos infieles que respaldan sus palabras, aquellos que creen sinceramente todo lo que dicen y que aprenden de sus errores.
On the other hand, the majority of adulterers are just giving out promises they don’t intend to keep. They’re ready to tell you everything you want to hear, just to make peace with you.
These people will promise you the moon and the stars. However, as soon as the initial crisis is over, they will show you that they’re unable to stay faithful, let alone anything more.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who falls for these false promises. You hold on to them, simply because you want to hope that things will be better in the future, despite what your gut feeling might be telling you.
Whatever you end up doing, I’m just begging you one thing: don’t forgive your significant other just because of something they said. Focus on concrete actions instead of empty words.
Luz de gas
This might go hand in hand with denial but it’s even worse. Gaslighting is a tactic commonly used by narcissistic people but plain cheaters are also familiar with it.
Basically, the main concept of this technique is to make you look like you’re crazy. When a cheater gaslights you, they’re playing with your mind and they’re making you question your own sanity.
This usually happens when you’re the one who caught your cheating spouse or partner. You don’t have to actually catch them in action but all the signs of cheating are present.
For example, you might have heard your partner talk on the phone with someone. They don’t know that you’re listening so you get to hear the details of the conversation.
Based on everything you hear, this is a romantic convo. It’s pretty obvious that they’re talking to their lover. However, when you confront them about this, they’ll tell you that you didn’t hear things right.
They’ll start convincing you that they weren’t talking on the phone at all or that they were talking to a friend or a co-worker.
Por supuesto, todos los registros de sus móviles se borran por arte de magia, así que no tienes pruebas de tus acusaciones.
Another common situation is that you find suspicious text messages on their phone. You don’t take screenshots but by the time you confront your partner about them, the texts have already been deleted.
So, you find yourself in a situation where you’re being convinced that these messages never existed. You were imagining things or you dreamed about reading them.
If something like this happens only once, you’ll second-guess your suspicions. You’ll want to believe them.
It will be easier for you to accept the fact that you’re imagining things than grasp the idea that your loved one is cheating on you.
Sin embargo, la misma práctica continúa. Puede que hayas visto su coche en la otra punta de la ciudad por accidente, cuando deberían estar trabajando.
You may even take pictures as evidence. Nevertheless, they’ll still continue with the gaslighting.
They’ll do everything in their power to persuade you that this wasn’t their car.
Cuando perciba un olor desconocido o encuentre un pelo que claramente pertenece a otra persona, intentarán convencerle de que se trata de su perfume o de su pelo.
Básicamente, lo que hace un tramposo gaslighter es pedirte que les creas a ellos en lugar de a tus propios ojos. Aunque pueda parecer una locura, lo cierto es que funciona en la mayoría de los casos.
However, they won’t stop there. Once again, you’ll be to blame for confronting them about cheating. They will accuse you of making things up, just to pick a fight.
Or they will tell you that you don’t know how to break up so you’re trying to use this imaginary scenario as an excuse to walk out on them.
At the end of the day, you’ll be the one apologizing. Not only that but this will awaken some serious insecurities and trust issues and it will destroy your confidence.
The biggest problem is that you’ll no longer know what the truth is. Did you really imagine this infidelity? Are you being paranoid? Are you overreacting? Or has your partner been playing you all along?
Minimizar la situación
An affair is an affair. It doesn’t matter whether it was a physical or emotional affair. It doesn’t matter whether it lasted a week, if it was a one-time thing or if it lasted a year.
The bottom line is that your partner consciously chose to betray you. They didn’t just cheat on you and they didn’t hurt you only as their romantic partner.
Instead, they backstabbed you. They showed you that they were never trustworthy and that you can’t count on them.
Por lo tanto, lo único que importa aquí es cómo te sientes con respecto a toda esta situación. Lo que importa es tu dolor, tu decepción y tu pena.
Sin embargo, la mayoría de los infieles piensan que la mejor manera de salir de todo este lío es minimizar su aventura. De hecho, la mayoría de ellos utilizarán la misma excusa de siempre: solo fue algo físico.
Aparentemente, acostarse con otra persona without any emotions included should be less painful. It should be something you can forgive with more ease and it shouldn’t bother you that much.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if things could work like that? Well, sadly for you, they don’t.
In fact, the problem with this entire scenario is not that your partner is trying to minimize the situation they’ve gotten you into. After all, it’s in human nature to try and escape a problem.
Also, they are probably putting all of their efforts into staying with you, which doesn’t justify them. They think that you’ll forgive them more easily if you rule out any possible emotions from the equation.
The actual problem is that they’re invalidating your pain by doing all of this. It’s like they’re telling you that you’re making a big fuss out of nothing.
You’re turning this into a bigger deal than it actually is. It wasn’t emotional cheating, it meant nothing, so you shouldn’t be as upset about their affair as you are, right?
Otra forma de minimizar la infidelidad es decir que fue algo puntual. Bueno, lo que obviamente se niegan a comprender es que esto duele de todos modos.
Sí, probablemente te dolería más saber que tu pareja llevaba meses o incluso años escondiéndose a tus espaldas, sin que te dieras cuenta de nada.
Sin embargo, la mera idea de que besen a otra persona, la toquen y acaben acostándose con ella, aunque sólo haya sido una vez, es más que suficiente.
Mentira
Una de las primeras mentiras que cuentan los infieles sobre su aventura está relacionada con su importancia. Siempre intentan presentarlo como algo puntual y completamente irrelevante.
Naturally, they’ll never admit the intensity of the relationship.
They’ll never talk to you about their true feelings, about the time they spent with this person, about the presents they bought them or about the fact that they probably promised to break things off with you.
En cambio, seguirán enredándose en su propia red de mentiras.
Of course, their initial goal is to get out of trouble but they never choose the truth as their tactic. Let’s be real here; you shouldn’t be worried about the fact that they’re lying.
Yes, it’s an awful thing to do but they’re just trying to get out of this horrible situation.
Lo que en realidad es mucho peor es el hecho de que ven todas estas mentiras como una forma de absolverse de sus pecados.
It’s like their affair is not such a big deal if it only happened once or if they just slept with this person, without going on dates and spending time together.
Some will also lie about the third person’s identity. Naturally, this can only happen if you noticed the red flags that they were cheating but you still haven’t figured out with whom they’ve been doing it.
For example, if your spouse is cheating on you with a co-worker, they will never admit their lover’s identity. They don’t want you to know that they’ll keep bumping into this person even if they end the affair.
Sin embargo, la más común de todas las mentiras que cuentan los infieles es que van a romper con esa persona. Lamentablemente, muchos de ellos siguen viendo a su amante, solo que con más cuidado.
En algunos casos, realmente se alejan de su aventura. Se sienten culpables y están dispuestos a hacer lo que sea necesario para preservar su relación.
Nevertheless, mostly, they’re just buying time and waiting for the storm to go away. As soon as this happens, they’re back to their old ways.
Ruptura
If you’re asking yourself how do cheaters react when accused, the sad truth is that sometimes, this is the best thing that could happen to them.
You see, some people don’t cheat just because they want some extra-marital or out-of-relationship kind of fun.
Sometimes, an affair happens because they’ve truly fallen in love with someone else. As painful as this realization might be, the fact is that they are not happy next to you. They stopped loving you.
De hecho, es posible que todavía te quieran de alguna manera e incluso que te sigan viendo como a un miembro de la familia. Sin embargo, ya no tienen sentimientos románticos hacia ti. Para ser honesto, quieren salir de esta relación.
Actually, they want to start a new life together with this person they’re having an affair with. They love them and are ready to leave you this instant.
Ahora que sabes todo esto, you are probably wondering why they didn’t break things off a while ago.
Why didn’t they come clean and leave you as soon as they realized they were falling for the other person?
Well, the answer is pretty simple: they’re a coward. They didn’t have the decency to tell you the truth and they didn’t respect you enough not to sneak around behind your back.
Así que.., basically, they prayed for you to catch them. It’s easier for them to be confronted than to admit out of the blue everything they’ve been doing.
All of this is a relief to this kind of person. They don’t want you to forgive them; actually, they sincerely hope that you’ll be the one to do the dirty work, so they don’t have to dump you.
This type won’t ask for your forgiveness. Even if they do, they will tell you that they’re sorry for breaking your heart but they won’t be asking for a second chance.
They won’t make empty excuses, nor will they promise you and swear that they will never do something like this again. They won’t even try minimizing their affair by lying that it never meant anything.
If you’re the one who wants to try and work things out and who is ready to fight for your relationship, they will tell you that breaking up is the only real option.
Ven esto como su única oportunidad de escapar de esta relación fallida y planean aprovecharla.
Whatever happens, I’m begging you for one thing: don’t feel sorry for them.
Don’t sympathize with the fact that they didn’t have the strength to reveal to you the truth. The only thing that differentiates this type from any other cheater out there is their lack of courage.
If you hadn’t caught them, they would have continued with this charade for ages.
Arrepentido
Otra cosa que suelen hacer los infieles cuando les pillan es arrepentirse. Al menos, actúan como si lo hicieran. Una vez que tienes todas las pruebas de su infidelidad y una vez que no tienen escapatoria, lo admiten todo.
Se derrumban delante de ti y empiezan a decirte lo increíblemente arrepentidos que están de haber cometido semejante error.
At first, you are not interested in their explanations. You don’t want to see their face, let alone give them a chance to come back into your life.
However, they don’t accept no for an answer. You see, this is the type of person who won’t leave you alone until you forgive them.
Irán literalmente detrás de ti dondequiera que vayas. Están dispuestos a hacer lo que haga falta para que veas lo arrepentidos que están de su mal comportamiento.
Pasarán horas y horas en tu puerta, rogándote que hables con ellos. Aparecerán en todos los lugares que visites, llamarán a tus amigos y familiares y te acecharán de muchas otras formas.
Not only that but they will be surprising you with romantic gestures. You’ll get tons of surprises, love letters, poems and so on.
Nada funcionará contra su persistencia. Puedes bloquear su número o sus cuentas en las redes sociales y conseguirán otros nuevos; puedes evitarlos todo el tiempo que quieras, pero te encontrarán.
Si alguien por quien no sientes nada estuviera haciendo estas cosas, las verías como señales de alarma. Lo considerarías un acosador y un maníaco.
Sin embargo, cuando la persona a la que aún amas hace todo esto, la verdad es que te parece adorable e irresistible.
Aunque te duela, admiras su persistencia.
You can’t help but feel flattered about the fact that they won’t let you go, even if their life depended on it. After all, it’s clear that they’re sorry.
Se arrepienten tanto de su decisión que te planteas darles una segunda oportunidad.
Look, I won’t lie to you: existe una gran posibilidad de que su pareja infiel realmente se arrepienta. Puede que por fin se haya dado cuenta de lo que ha hecho.
Maybe they don’t want to lose everything they built with you over a few temporary moments of passion. Maybe they really are sorry and would give everything in their power to go back in time and erase their mistakes.
In this case, it’s up to you whether you’ll forgive them or not. Everyone thinks they know what the right thing to do is but you’re the one making the final call.
Por otro lado, tienes que ser sincero contigo mismo y averiguar una cosa. ¿Su cónyuge o pareja infiel siente haberle engañado? ¿O se arrepiente de que le hayan pillado?
Aquí hay una gran diferencia. Es probable que hubieran continuado con su comportamiento si nunca te hubieras enterado.
Besides, their repentance cannot heal your broken heart. It can’t glue its pieces back together and it can’t undo the things that occurred.
Véase también: 30 Códigos de Mensajes de Texto de Cónyuges Infieles Revelados
Para terminar:
Now that you have all the answers to the question of how do cheaters react when accused, you’re ready to confront your adulterer and start the process of recuperación de la aventura.
However, please gather as much solid evidence as you can before acting on your doubts. This way, they’ll have less chance to play you for a fool.
