Un recordatorio de que puedes perdonarle sin aceptarle de nuevo
Cuando el hombre al que creías que podías confiar tu vida y con el que planeaste tu futuro te traiciona de alguna manera, algo así te deja destrozada.
It doesn’t matter whether this guy cheated on you, if he abused you or if he abandoned you when you needed his support more than anything—betrayal is betrayal and it is never something you can easily get over.
No importa lo que te digan, la cruda verdad es que algo así te deja un sabor amargo en la boca.
Te deja decepcionado en el amor y en la gente en general y te causa profundos problemas de confianza, traumas emocionales y relación TEPT.
Not only that—it also changes the essence of your personality.
Te convierte en una persona negativa y resentida que siempre espera lo peor de la gente.
Al principio, después de todo lo que te hizo ese imbécil, lo único que quieres es vengarte y darle a probar de su propia medicina.
Quieres que sufra y que sienta exactamente lo mismo que tú.
Sin embargo, todo el mundo con el que hablas te aconseja que encuentres la fuerza en ti misma para perdonarle.
La gente sigue diciéndote que necesitas dejar atrás todo el dolor que te causó y que la única forma de hacerlo es dejar atrás la amargura, los rencores y los pensamientos de venganza.
After a while, after the initial anger goes away, you realize that they’re absolutely right, despite whatever you’re feeling right now.
Comprendes que perdonar es realmente liberador y es algo que tienes que hacer, por tu propio bien.
You figure out that you don’t want all these negative emotions to keep eating you alive and to haunt you for the rest of your life.
Así que, tras pensarlo mucho y luchar interiormente, decides perdonarle por todas sus fechorías.
However, this doesn’t mean that you should justify this man’s actions.
It doesn’t mean that you should put in any effort to understand him or to poner excusas por su comportamiento de mierda.
Most importantly—it doesn’t mean you should forget about everything he’s done to you.
Acepta que las cosas salieron exactamente como estaban destinadas a suceder.
Accept that he probably didn’t know better and that you’re lucky that you got rid of someone who obviously never appreciated you.
Perdónate a ti misma por tus malas decisiones y perdónale a él por romperte el corazón porque es la única manera de recuperarte por completo, la única manera de ahuyentar tus demonios del pasado y la única manera de seguir adelante con tu vida de verdad, sin ninguna carga emocional que te lastre.
However, always remember that forgiving someone doesn’t mean it is OK to take them back.
It doesn’t mean that this person is worthy of having a place in your life and it certainly isn’t equal to giving them your unlimited trust once again.
Recuerda que ser una buena persona y la más grande es una cosa, pero ser tonto o ingenuo es algo completamente diferente.
Having the capacity to accept the apologies you never got and forgiving the ones who didn’t deserve it are not the same as giving them the green light to keep on hurting you.
When you forgive a man for treating you badly and for crushing you, it doesn’t magically erase all the pain he caused you.
Tu perdón doesn’t annul the fact that he is still an asshole who didn’t care about how he’d make you feel, it doesn’t erase any of the sleepless nights you spent because of him and it certainly doesn’t wipe away all of the tears you cried for him.
I know that you two had some beautiful memories together as well and that he didn’t always act like this toxic man he turned out to be.
I know that once you forgive him, deep down, you’ll start hoping that he won’t repeat his mistakes.
You’ll hope your heart will soften up and that you’ll start missing him.
That you’ll want to believe his lies and empty promises and that you’ll probably want to give your relationship another chance.
Sin embargo, vosotros dos rompisteis por una razón que aún existe.
So, trust me when I tell you that your forgiveness doesn’t change the fact that he is not the guy for you.
